Chapter Text
I woke up to my alarm “Ugh” Matt rolled off of me so that i could get up.
Luckily I didn’t have to like get ready or anything “You wanna just hang here, until I come back?” I asked, slipping on a pair of sweatpants “Oh there’s no way i'm getting up” he buried his face in the pillow I had just been laying on.
“f*ck..” I sighed “You okay?” He asked “Just can’t find my painkillers and i'm like dying from cramps. But i think i have some in my car” i said, bending over from the pain.
“If it's really bad then I’ll drive you” he said and I softened.
I walked over and bent down placing a kiss to his lips, then his hair “You’re such angel, but I’ll be okay” i smiled “Text me when you’re done”
The meeting was so boring and exhausting because I was just uncomfortable and in so much pain.
I drove back to my apartment and I smelled vanilla candles.
“Babe?” I asked, confused walking into my room.
He walked out of the bathroom looking all excited. He just grabbed my hand pulling me in there.
I just immediately wanted to cry.
The lights were off and he’d lit a bunch of candles. The bath was filled with bubbles and on the little table was the book I was currently reading and my favourite chocolate.
“Matt..” I said just holding onto his hand “I was thinking I could go down to that bagel place you love, while you take a bath. And then we can watch the new season of drag race” he said and I looked up at him.
“I’m like actually gonna cry, god you’re wayy too sweet for me” i chuckled “Thank you..” I pulled him into a tight hug “Of course..” he rubbed my back and kissed my hair.
I pulled back slightly and kissed all over him face, making him laugh “I really don’t deserve you..” i paused for a second.
“Of course you do. Don’t think I’d do any of this for someone else” he said “Simp” i said and he just rolled his eyes.
“I'm kidding, if anything i'm the biggest simp” i smiled “Not true..but have fun. It’ll probably take like 45 minutes until i'm back” he said “That’s perfect” I smiled and let him walk out.
I got in the bath and immediately called Larray “Girl put me on face time” he complained “Sorry, but look!” i kinda showed him.
“Oh mattypoo is down bad” he laughed “He’s just being sweet ‘cause I’m on my period” i explained “Girl don’t act like he wouldn’t do this any day” he said “You’re right, god I really don’t feel like I deserve him you know?” I sighed.
“Don’t get me wrong, I want the best for my bestie. But if a guy treated me that well then i'd be confused too” he laughed.
Matt point of view:
As I was leaving the bagel place someone honked and I looked up “Matt!” Nick was shouting and ran over “Hi” I smiled confused “you’re going back to Lunas right?” He asked.
“Yeah she wasn’t feeling well so im bringing her food” I explained “oh, well if she's feeling better later. We were all gonna watch nightmare before Christmas” he explained “Sure I’ll ask her”
“Great, I feel like we never see you” he said “Nick” I sighed “right, sorry” we both knew it was because of Chris.
He still wasn’t over the whole thing and that was okay.
I drove back home and heard music from the bathroom.
The door was open and she was doing her skincare “I've got bagels!” I put them in the kitchen then went to her.
“Amazing” she smiled.
She had put a sweater of mine on.
I couldn’t help it. I just went up and wrapped my arms around her from behind.
I rested my head on her shoulder and kissed below her ear.
“I ran into Nick and Oliver,” I explained “Oh fun” she smiled “He asked if maybe we wanted to have movie night with everyone later. Only if you’re feeling better of course..” i said placing another kiss.
“Sure, we barely saw them at the parties” she smiled “Right that’s true”
Luna point of view:
I ended up feeling a lot better, so we went to movie night.
As we walked in the first person I saw was Chris “You came” he smiled and i ran up to hug him “As if I’m gonna miss Nick going insane over this movie” i chuckled, as he squeezed me back.
“Oliver and Nick went out for more snacks so we’re just waiting on them” he explained.
We went and joined Madi, Sabrina, Nessa, Larray and Arrington on the couch “Oh our old married couple could make it” Oliver said, making me smile and look at Matt, who just interviewed our fingers.
The movie was on and we were all watching “Omg remember for your birthday we watched that insane movie?” Larray said “It wasn’t that scary” Nick said.
I glanced over at Chris, who was already smiling knowingly at me. It kinda hurt knowing that that day I had realised I had feelings for him for the first time.
But then I looked back up at Matt. His arms around me as I sat against his chest.
He moved his hand up my neck, lifted my chin and kissed me slowly “You okay..?” He asked and I just completely melted. “Hm” I nodded.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was going over to Tana’s house to film the podcast. I was wearing Matt’s hoodie and felt so ready.
We sat down and they introduced me, talking about my recent projects and stuff, since that was sort of the point. Then of course, we started talking about boys.
“At this point it’s like not even funny how single i am” Brooke said “What about the new guy?” Tana asked “He’s an asshole, he’s terrible at replying and just no” she smiled making me chuckle.
Then Tana kinda looked at me “f*ck I forgot we don’t even have any tea with you. You’re literally married” she said annoyed “Sorry yeah no I can’t contribute much with any bad things at the moment” i smiled.
“But you have bad past things right?” Brooke asked “Of course” I told them about a guy from highschool and that story was juicy and kinda long.
“But babe, I’m so sorry to do this to you. But I have to ask. You have now dated brothers, how’s that?” She said and everyone in the studio laughed, including myself.
“I'm aware it doesn’t look good on my part” i chuckled “But you’re good with Chris right?” Brooke aske.
“Yeah we’re good. I always desperately hope to remain friends with people, especially in a situation like this, you know?” I said “Yeah, I mean family dinners could get ugly” Tana said.
“Right. And I’m still best friends with Nick, we’re super close. Plus nothing bad happened. There’s no reason for us to like fight or whatever. He still means so much to me and he knows that, So we try” i smiled, knowing Chris would appreciate how I explained it.
“That’s so wholesome and healthy. What’s that like?” Tana chuckled.
“No but how is Matty b doing? Of course I saw him a couple days ago, but for the viewers” she said, and I immediately smiled at the mention of him.
“He’s great and yeah Halloween is over so that's upsetting” i said “Right, I loved your guys costumes, they were so cute” Brooke said.
“Thank you! I'm afraid i had to pull some strings for this last one” i chuckled “Right but you looked incredible” Tana said “Thank you, it was one of my favourites actually” i said.
“Well if i was Matty b, I’m sure you had some fun” Tana smirked.
Making me chuckle “Well this is definitely tmi”
“There's no such thing on here, go on” Brooke said “I got my period Halloween night, so unfortunately no fun” i chuckled.
“Well at least we know you’re not pregnant” Brooke said “Yeah i just took a plan b the other night so I’m bleeding too”
“Oh slay” we highfived and continued to talk about the new guy she had f*cked.
“But the most important question probably, is how are the fans taking it? I know there’s been some issues” Tana asked.
“Well, I absolutely adore their fans. Because we kinda started together and a bunch of them are mine as well. So the majority has been supportive in both relationships” i explained.
“But of coursethere’s the occasional death threats and slu*tshaming. You know the deal” i smiled and they laughed “Oh we know, but things are good now?” Brooke asked “Yeah I feel like it’s died down lately. And I’m just really happy” i smiled.
“Well f*ck, no actually we need some of that positive energy. How is it being in an actual healthy relationship?” Tana asked.
“I’ve had good ones before, but never at this age really. So it’s a lot better. Just communicate and i think that’s key” i explained “Well if i had a guy be so in love with me as Matt is with you then that’s easy. Our boy is whipped” she laughed.
“Well sure actually being in love helps” I raised an eyebrow at her “I've been in love…sometimes” she said defensively “And wasn’t that a million times better?” I asked “Yeah..” she said.
“It’s so fun. Just like Halloween, i didn’t have to worry about going home with anyone or anything like that”
“Cause he’s there” Tana smiled adoringly “Well we need to make a clone of him that’s for sure” Tana said “Isn’t there already” Amari laughed off camera.
“Sure they look alike to most people, but very different personalities. And one is gay” i chuckled.
I ended up staying at Tana’s kinda late after filming and just hanging out.
“Babe, you have a text from Matt,” Amari said since my phone was on the table “What does it say?”
“Girl i don’t know your password”
“Right”
I went to go get it “He actually told me his” i said making Tana literally choke on her food.
“Like actually?” Brooke asked “Yeah, he was sleeping and got an important text from Nick so he just asked if I wanted to know his password and I told him mine as well” i said like it was nothing.
“Oh that’s a different level of trust, have you gone through it?” Amari asked “No, that would obviously be breaking that trust” I chuckled and saw that Ari had fallen asleep.
“So you haven’t been curious?”
“Of course i have, i just trust him so much” i smiled “That’s so cute, I’m gonna go jump in front of a train”
Matt point of view:
We were going on this creator trip for like a week. With a bunch of our friends, but it wasn’t under Luna’s agency so she wasn’t going.
I had been having insane anxiety lately and I just really didn’t wanna go away from home.
I was going to Luna’s, because I needed help on what to do.
She opened the door and immediately softened, seeing the state i was in “Come on in” she stepped aside “Did something happen..? God baby you’re shaking..” she took my hand “C’mon let’s go sit down”
We went to her couch. “Is it because of the trip..?” She asked and of course she knew. I nodded, tearing up “Oh honey..” she instantly reached over and pulled me into a hug.
“I know it’s a lot for you right now…but I’m sure you’ll have so much fun. You know everyone that’s going right?” She asked “Yeah…” I sniffled.
We pulled back a bit “But it’s for so long in my head. And what if I don't get any sleep? And it ends up being terrible content? I just can’t, I don’t wanna go, I really don’t. Please i really don’t wanna go..” I felt my heart racing.
“Okay deep breath…” she said holding my shoulders and we took a deep breath together.
Luna point of view:
It was heartbreaking to see him like this. So scared of something that’s supposed to be making him happy.
I reached up cupping his face softly “It’s okay…your feelings are completely okay” i said and he nodded softly “Aw Matty..” I kissed his nose and pulled him back into my arms.
“I wish i could just make it all go away for you i really do..” i said caressing his hair “I know..” he sniffled and just clinged into me “How about we text Laura? Tell her how you’re feeling, it can’t hurt”
Matt point of view:
Luna convinced me to tell Laura and we set up a little meeting the next day “So what’s bothering you?” She asked.
“It’s hard to explain. I guess it’s just a long time to be away from home. And I can’t sleep unless I'm with- unless I'm home. And i just don’t wanna ruin it for everyone else, because what if i'm not as hyper as they want” i explained, getting emotional.
She looked at me, so concerned “Matt…firstly I need you to understand that there is no pressure okay? Yes this is a content trip but it's also supposed to be fun. You don’t have to be hyper all the time okay..?” She said and I nodded.
“And I think I might know why this is also so difficult for you….would you like me to ask Luna’s team if she’s available for this week?” She asked and I kinda hated that she could see right through me.
“No i mean i- she’s probably busy. And I don't wanna bother her with all of this. I’ll be okay i think-“
“Matt, it’s no problem really. And I know how much it’ll help you” she said “okay..”
Luna point of view:
I had just gotten home when I got a call from my agent “Hi I just got off the phone with Laura. She wanted to know if she could get you on the aspen trip this week. You wanna do that?” She asked and I smiled to myself knowing that Laura knew that this would fix Matt's problems.
“Yes i'd love to go” i said “Good; apparently Matt was upset and we figured this would help” she chuckled “Yeah i think so too”
Matt came over “So i just got a call from my agent” i said as he was taking his shoes off “Right I wanted to tell you-“
“I’m gonna come with you” I said and he lit up “Really? Of course you don’t have to. I told Laura I didn’t wanna bother you too much if you were busy, and I’ll be okay if you’re-“
I walked up to him, cupped his cheeks and kissing him softly “I’m sure. Free vacation with my best friends and my lovely boyfriend? Can’t be too bad” i smiled and he kissed me again.
“Thank you..” he said “Anytime, now I’m just excited for all the outfits. Ness and I are gonna take so many pictures” i smiled, dragging him to my room.
“Yeah i had to go buy a winter coat” he chuckled “Wait, it’s snowing in aspen right now?” I asked excited “Yeah a lot actually” he smiled confused.
“Omg then i am so excited i’m going! Snow! sh*t I can’t remember the last time I saw good snow. Oh it’s gonna be so fun!” I said excitedly and he just looked at me kinda smiling.
“What..?” I asked “I just love you” he said “Stop” I blushed lightly and walked up kissing him softly.
We were all going in this bus and driving there. I was so excited and everyone was so hyped.
Of course nobody really commented on me coming along because they knew why.
I was in my seat looking out on the road, and Matt was half asleep next to me.
I turned to him smiling. I reached up softly cupping his face sideways and kissing his cheek.
He turned and kissed me, making me smile. He pulled me in closer and I just completely melted “Alright can we keep it pg?” Oliver said from his seat.
We pulled back both kinda laughing “Sorry” I stuck my head up. I pecked his lips quickly and then sat back in my seat.
“Good thing we’re not sharing a room with anyone else..” he kinda whispered making me smile to myself “Oh yeah I forgot” i chuckled.
A little later I had apparently fallen asleep. Because I felt a very gentle hand on my cheek “Lu” he nearly whispered.
“hm?” I asked “Were just stopping for gas but do you want anything?” He asked and i was still half asleep “Sour patch kids and a peach tea?” He asked and I immediately smiled “Yea thanks baby..” I said and he smiled getting up.
I woke up completely and looked up to see that almost everyone had left the bus. Except for a head of hair a couple seats over.
I had my plane pillow and I threw it at Chris “Hey” he said annoyed “We’re stopped at a gas station if you wanna go get something” i said and he looked up at me “Thanks but i'm okay” he yawned.
“Are you excited for the snow?” He asked “f*ck yeah, we have to do like a snowball match or something” I gasped “Oh or build a snowman” i said “Sure we can do that” he smiled.
“I’m glad you ended up coming along..” he admitted “Me too” i said “I mean of course for Matt, but it would be weird without you here with all of us” he explained.
“Really..? I was actually thinking that maybe you didn’t want me to come..” I said and he softened “Luna..” he sighed “No I know we’re good i just, if it was the other way around then..” I couldn’t tell him.
“Then what?”
“Omg, if you spill on me I’m literally pushing you off the bus” we heard Nick say loudly as people came back on the bus.
I looked back at Chris, but I just couldn’t.
“I bought you two, we still have a couple hours left” Matt smiled, as he handed me my candy “Thank you” I smiled sitting back in my seat, with a pit in my stomach.
Luckily I fell back asleep, so the drive didn’t feel so long.
We arrived at the huge log cabin, that Laura had rented. It was cold as f*ck but it hadn’t snowed yet today, which was kinda disappointing.
“Alright there’s no assigned rooms just pick and we’ll meet back down here to discuss the plan” she said and everyone ran inside.
I ran up with Nessa and we were so excited.
We picked two rooms next to each other with the best views “Matt” I shouted “Yes dear” he chuckled while walking into the room.
“This is ours I’ve decided” I smiled proudly “Well good pick, amazing view” he said as we looked out the giant window.
“Right? It’ll be so beautiful tomorrow morning” i said and felt him wrap his arms around my waist, kissing my neck softly “Yeah..”
We went downstairs with everyone, and Laura sat us down and explained the plan for the week. It wasn’t much, mostly just chill time so I was excited.
We had ordered food and were all sitting in the giant living room “Wait how about we watch the car video?” I asked “Omg yeah that’s so fun” Sabrina said.
Nick looked unsure for some reason, and so did Chris “We can put it on the tv right?” Larray asked “Yeah sure” Nick smiled and went to find the remote.
“This is fun, it’s been a while since I’ve watched one like this” I smiled at Matt sitting next to me.
He just smiled and kissed my cheek.
We finished eating and all sat around the couches to watch the video.
It was so fun, they were talking about would you rather. And the video was nearly ending.
They were eating food and Matt took a nugget or something from Chris and Chris got all angry. Nick looked kinda shocked in the background.
“Well you just f*cking take whatever you want these day don’t you?” Chris said like he really meant it.
Matt looked so hurt, but then it cut and they talked about something completely different.
I was so confused after the video ended. Larray ended up putting a doja cat music video on, which was good to cut the tension.
I had to pee after, also to just collect myself.
And i ran into Chris on the way back “Wait” i kinda pulled him aside “Uhm I’m not sure I wanna know, but was that an actual argument that you cut out?” I asked. He sighed looking slightly embarrassed.
“Yeah. We didn’t have time to film another video so Nick tried his best to cut it out..” he explained.
“Did you and Matt really fight about-“
“Yeah” he said “Oh..” I said.
“Last time I asked, he told me you two were fine” i said “Yeah, well most of the time we are” he said.
“I’m really sorry that all of this-“
“Luna, stop. It’s not your fault, nobody’s mad at you…it’s just difficult for me sometimes as you know. And sometimes Matt doesn’t get that, which is okay..” he explained.
“Okay…” I said and I felt horrible.
“You know the fans are gonna point it out right..?” I asked “Yeah…we’ll figure something out” he sighed.
“I don’t want all of this to ruin our trip okay..?” He said “No of course not” i said “Good..let’s go get that ice cream” he smiled softly and we went back downstairs.
I had just said goodnight to Nessa and Sarina next door “Don’t be too loud” Nessa said making me chuckle.
Matt was half asleep, completely buried by pillows and the comforter.
I smiled to myself and crawled into bed with him “Why were you laughing..?” He asked, wrapping his arms around me as I put my leg over him “Ness just told me not to be too loud” i smiled and buried my face in his neck.
“Wow okay” he said with a yawn.
