Hopeless LOVE - ChillifyVilify (orphan_account) (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Screw it, I’ve already fallen down the rabbit hole. Let’s write this.

DISCLAIMERS:

• ChillifyVilify in no way owns Undertale or Zelda. Stop thinking that.

• No animals or people were harmed in the making of this fic.

• No money was made from the production of this fic.

• The author does not endorse any of the actions taken in this fic. Do not try this at home. Or anywhere.

• The author does not necessarily share the views expressed in this story.

• The author is not being forced into writing these disclaimers.

• Please review.

Prologue

The path was thin and nearly unintelligible from the thick woods surrounding it, but the youth on his horse still managed to follow it faithfully. The Hylian sighed, worn out from his long and arduous journeys across the land, searching desperately for the one person who understood.

Navi.

Even nearly a year later, he was still confused as to the reasons for her departure. She hadn’t said anything, hadn’t explained where she was going or why. Instead, his beloved companion had simply flown away, out the window of the Temple of Time, without so much as a passing ‘goodbye’. He’d resolved to find her no matter what, leading him deep into the Lost Woods where he got mugged by a wood midget with a demon mask. Said imp then led him down a hole and into an alternate universe that stole the faces of nearly everyone Link knew and then populated a starkly different world with them. Link had been forced to save them by constantly sending everyone back in time via a magical wind instrument that also conveniently eradicated everyone’s memories of him.

He’d made few friends along the way, and it was likely that none of them even remembered who he was. Obviously nobody in Termina saw him as more than just a random child with a weird hat, except maybe Anju, Kafei, and possibly Cremia. In Hyrule… well, even fewer people probably knew him. Zelda did, of course, but she was also the only one to whom Link had explained the events of his first adventure. The other six Sages, alas, could not help him.

That left Navi.

The swordsman let a tired grin surface on his face as he pictured her in his mind. It looked unnatural there; Link often had his features set into a near-permanent scowl. Genuine emotion, and not some facsimile that he felt obligated to show whenever he thought the situation required it, was something that the ex-Hero didn’t really have much of anymore. Not to say that he didn’t, of course; rather, it was often easier to lock up feelings behind the fleshy facade of his own face. Such displays of candidness were often the things that nearly got him killed by anyone who could read his expression. This often led to a successful and brutal attack, due to his opponent’s ability to tell what Link was doing.

Epona snorted beneath him, and Link was roused from his musings to hear the soft gurgling of a nearby brook. The youth deftly maneuvered his steed to the sounds of the water, where they could both take a well-deserved break. The pair had covered a large distance that day.

As the Hylian partook in the fresh water from the stream and filled his canteen, a near-imperceptible rustling sound caught his attention. He immediately drew his short Kokiri Sword and unslung his shield from its place on his back, fervently staring every which way in search of the noise. It was only after a few seconds of exaggerated watchfulness that the Hylian noticed a squirrel step out of the underbrush, nose twitching inquisitively. Sighing exasperatedly, he sheathed his blade and instead drew his bow, loosing an arrow and shooting the squirrel smack-dab in between the eyes. The Hylian then waded through the thigh-deep grasses by the river’s edge and extricated the now-deceased squirrel, collecting several rocks and twigs along the way for a campfire. Any opportunity to save his actual rations and Rupees was something he’d take. It was just as well; the sun was setting over the colorful trees surrounding the mountain on which Link now found himself. It was quite the spectacular view, really, even with the massive, gaping cave entrance just by the river the youth had camped out at. Interestingly, the cave opened straight down instead of parallel with the mountainside, giving Link an eerie reminder of the tunnel he’d fallen down to get to Termina. He shuddered, and set about making a fire.

!0*0!

The sun had just set, sending the mountainside awash with shadows. The only source of light was the crescent moon and throbbing stars above, alongside the small campfire illuminating Link’s gaunt features. The Hylian in question was staring at the clear water’s unbroken surface, examining himself in the mirror. It has been… what was it… eleven years since he was born? That sounded right. Regardless, whatever age he was physically did not allow for any sort of facial hair to begin to sprout on his chin, but all the childish baby fat on his cheeks had wholly evaporated, leaving him appearing like a shorter version of the adult Link that had walked the Hyrule of the decayed timeline. His bright blue eyes didn’t translate very well to his mirror reflection, making them appear a misty gray. His nose, however, full of the scent of roasting squirrel, was just as long and pointy on the water’s surface as it probably was in real life. But other than that, everything appeared normal, if ‘normal’ included massive bags under his eyes and hair streaked with dust and sweat. Link sniffed the air, presuming that his dinner was done cooking, and shuffled back to the small flame.

Wait a minute.

Wasting no time, Link drew his sword and twisted around to greet the hungry symphony of crimson eyes lurking in the darkness. It looked like a full Wolfos pack. Link thanked his paranoia for picking up on their scent beyond the reek of the cooking squirrel meat.

Link backed up towards Epona, knowing that he’d have to make a gamble. He couldn’t take all the Wolfos on his own, and there was a risk that at least one would go for his horse. The Hero couldn’t risk abandoning his faithful steed, though… what was he to do?

It seemed he only had one choice.

“Epona! Go back to Lon Lon! Hyah!” Link ordered, rousing his companion to wakefulness. Thankfully following his commands, the rust-colored filly darted back down the path towards-- presumably-- Lon Lon Ranch. Actually, was he even still in Hyrule anymore? He thought so. In fact, if he squinted, he could just barely make out the candlelights of a hopefully Hylian village miles and miles away.

But that could wait. Right now, he had to deal with the Wolfos that wanted to tear him to little bite-sized bits. His fire went out, sputtering to a halt as the Wolfos came closer. Link could now only make out the wolf monsters’ indistinct shapes, barring their glowing eyes. Swiftly and silently, one of them pounced. Link eagerly slashed at their exposed midsection with his blade, dealing damage, but not enough to secure a kill. Howling in pain, the aggressor lurked back into the group, which only seemed to be getting larger by the instant. Link was relieved that he’d sent Epona away; there was no chance that he’d be able to protect her and kill the Wolfos at the same time.

The Hero of Time backed away from the clearing, causing a rustling sound in the grasses. In the corner of his vision, he could see yet more Wolfos trying to encircle him, and so he backed up more. The wolves continued to attack him one by one, but each was met with a blade in the darkness that forced them to retreat. Knowing that he couldn’t afford to be surrounded if he wanted to survive, Link continued to back away, inching closer and closer to the mountainside. Eventually, the Wolfos decided that enough was enough and began to charge at him through the unbearable darkness. Panicking and fearing for his own safety, Link took one last step backwards… and went sailing into the strange cave, tumbling end over end as he hurtled into the abyss. He could vaguely hear the Wolfos above howling in anger at their lost prey, and turn from the cave entrance in search of easier targets.

This didn’t change the fact that he was hurtling head over heels into a dark abyss at extremely high speeds, unfortunately.

Thinking that his time may be short, Link cursed at himself internally while screaming Navi’s name, begging her to come to him during his final moments.

But nobody came.

!0*0!

Link awoke resting on a bed of flowers, splinters of his Deku Shield scattered around him. Groaning and nursing a major headache, the Hylian stumbled to his feet, noting the Wolfos blood splattered onto his forest-green tunic, before deftly taking it off and checking himself for injuries in the daylight streaming down from the cave entrance far above him. Miraculously, he’d escaped the fall with only a scant few nasty bruises and a pounding migraine. Considering the circ*mstances, this was ideal.

The swordsman put his tunic back on and, seeing that there was nowhere else to go, tiptoed into the darkness, where a grand and sculpted entryway loomed.

He got hit with a nauseating sense of deja vu on the way through. His mind was going haywire at the nauseating, unsupported sense of danger permeating the whole place. The Hylian began to sweat profusely, desperately attempting to quell his sense of fear and paranoia before they took control of his actions.

He’d met with a terrible fate by falling down here, hadn’t he?

And that’s a wrap. Pretty short, but don’t worry. Ensuing chapters should be longer.

Review Please!

Chapter 2: Trimming Down

Chapter Text

I think this got the best initial reception out of any of my works, bar none. Pretty cool.

Also, this is going to update biweekly. Tuesdays and Fridays. Timing is variable though.

Reading Review Rendezvous Point (RRRP):

MarkOfThree (FF): Glad you like it! Sans was probably the most fun to write, too.

James Birdsong (FF): Thanks!

Greta4503 (AO3): Thanks!

Just a Fan of Fics (FF): Well, that’s a slight issue that will be addressed later. I actually took aspects from all of the routes to make this.

Agent3Novi (AO3): Oh hey again! Glad you like it!

Swordmouse (AO3): ‘But Nobody Came’ is probably one of the best lines from UT. What I actually do when I make my fics is I boot up a Let’s Play of the game and get the in-game dialogue from there. That way, I can’t screw it up, but I can still tweak it as much as I want to to serve my in-story needs. Thanks for the interest!

Seeking7 (FF): ‘But nobody came’ is probably the best singular line in the whole game. Thanks for the support!

Chapter 1

Beyond the intricately carved entryway was a small circle of grass on which was planted a single yellow flower. It looked like it had a face, although that could have been Link’s imagination. The plant was facing the columns despite their status of being shrouded by darkness. Delicately, without knowing what to expect in this area he now found himself in, Link edged out of the gloom and closer to the small spot of sunlight peeking through the dark crags of stone above.

“Howdy!” the flower said, causing Link to panic and haphazardly back out of sight, hands instinctively moving to the hilt of his blade. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the Flower!”

Link, meanwhile, was breathing heavily, trying to get over his quick bout of terror. Coming back to himself, he tried desperately to make light of the situation. He must have hit his head harder than he thought coming down, he reasoned. His brain had to be playing tricks on him. Flowers couldn’t talk, that was ridiculous.

“I’m not a normal flower, no no no. I’m a special sentient monster flower, silly!” the flower crowed.

Had he said that out loud?

“Yes,” Flowey drawled. “Hmm… you’re new to the Underground, aren't cha? Golly, you must be so confused.”

“What did you expect?” Link grunted. “The last thing I expected to happen today was fall down a hole and engage in idle chat with a flower.”

“Fair enough,” the plant acquiesced. “Y’know, someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do.”

The darkness around Link seemed to squeeze in around him at the sound of that. His danger sense was picking up that something was off, but Link assumed that it was due to the fact that he was down here in the first place. Maybe the flower could help?

“Oh, thanks,” Link decided.

“Ready? Here we go!” Flowey answered, as both it and Link phased into Somewhere Else. The room was now a stark black shade save for Flowey, who was in front of him. Below the flower was a snow white box with a little heart in it. It looked just slightly shriveled, like an apple that had been kept someplace cold for too long. The heart was dim, and somewhere between red and orange, yet not quite either. Link settled on ‘blood-orange’ and called it at that. Below that box were the characters ‘LV 120’ and ‘HP’, followed by a bright yellow bar flanked by the numbers ‘191/191’.

“See that heart?” Flowey said. “That’s your Soul, the very culmination of your being! Your Soul starts off weak, but it can become stronger by gaining LV. What’s LV mean? Why, LOVE of course! You want some LOVE, don’t you?”

Link couldn’t tell why LOVE was capitalized in this scenario, or how he knew it was in all caps, but he could easily piece together that LOVE and love were not necessarily the same. That being said, if they shared all the letters, and love was good, why couldn’t LOVE be good? He already had a hundred and twenty of it, if the numbers below the white box were to be believed. “Sure…?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you!” Flowey offered, winking, as an array of little white orbs floated from out of his face and formed an arc around his head. “Down here, LOVE is shared through… little white… ‘friendliness pellets!’ Move around! Get as many as you can!”

Link’s internal danger sense went absolutely ballistic at this statement, as the friendliness pellets-- no, bullets-- slowly drifted towards him. Instinctually, Link moved his soul out of the way of the pellets. They moved past the little heart, doing nothing.

Flowey’s eyebrows lowered. “Hey buddy, you missed them. Let’s try again, okay?” Its voice had lost much of its previous happiness, leading Link to believe that he was right in his analysis of the situation. Another five friendliness pellets formed for Link to dodge.

“Is this a joke? Are you braindead?” the flowey questioned angrily. “Run. Into. The. Bull-friendliness pellets!”

Link dodged again.

Flowey’s face then morphed into a demented and twisted version of itself, grinning like Mido often would after a good ‘insult Link’ session. “You know what’s going on here, don’t you? You just wanted to see me suffer!”

The white box around Link’s Soul contracted as a swarm of bullets surrounded it in a perfect circle. That circle slowly began to squeeze inwards, sealing Link’s fate. “Die.”

Link squeezed his eyes shut as the white pellets made contact with his soul, an unfamiliar, agonizing sensation filling his body. It wasn’t wholly dissimilar to being turned into a Deku Scrub, if he was being quite honest. And then it was over, and Link… barely felt it?

The Hylian cracked an eye open and noticed that his ‘HP’ had dipped down to ‘172/191’. Beyond that, though, nothing changed. Flowey, on the other hand, appeared stupefied. Its eyes went completely black as it stared directly into Link before coming back to itself with a lurch.

“Well, well, well… It appears that you have quite a lot of LOVE already,” the flower mused in a disturbing fashion. “Golly, it’s my lucky day! With your soul, I could do anything!” Its face morphed into a massive, chaotic grin, practically salivating at the sight of Link’s LOVE-filled soul. “Sadly for you, your death is going to be real drawn out because of all of that HP… oh well! Better get started! Whaddaya say?”

Link glared.

“Okie dokie then! On to killing!” Flowey seethed, laughingly maniacally while summoning wave after wave of bullets to wash over Link’s soul. Each hit caused the little blood orange heart to dim ever so slightly, and sent a wave of newfound pain into the deepest part of the Hylian’s being. After some time, Link’s ‘HP’ had dropped to one unit, and the next wave of Friendliness Pellets closed in even slower onto his body. Of all the ignoble ways to die… He was a hero! He still has to find Navi! Why here? Why now?

But somebody came.

His HP bar reverted from its nearly-red state back to its bright yellow, filling it back up to 191. Flowey appeared confused, friendliness pellets dissipating. Then a fireball appeared from the gloom to Link’s right, and swatted the flower out of Link’s sight. Then, slowly entering his field of view, came a clearly feminine… being. Link had never seen anything quite like it, in all of his experiences in both Hyrule and Termina. She appeared to be about the same height as Ganondorf had been, but she also wore a simple purple dress with an emblem on it vaguely similar to the Triforce. She bore a simple smile, and Link’s internal danger sensors quieted. However, he wasn’t just going to drop his skepticism and wariness because she stopped the flower. She was just as probable to take advantage of him the way Flowey had. Or worse, given how easily this new monster had defeated the sentient plant.

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth,” she said softly. Link, meanwhile, had unsheathed his Kokiri Sword and, with trembling hands, was pointing that blade at the creature, who actually seemed to resemble a goat somewhat. “My goodness, you’re hurt! Look at your tunic; it’s blood-splattered!”

“Who are you?” Link breathed. “And how do I stop you from killing me?”

“Ah, do not be afraid, my child,” she whispered calmly, somehow managing to lull Link’s fear. “I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if someone had fallen down. You are the first human to come here in a long time.”

“Hylian,” Link corrected automatically, although he doubted Toriel heard him.

“Come with me! I will guide you through the catacombs,” the motherly woman invited, but Link remained rooted.

“What’s your end goal? What is this place? How do I get out of this cave?” Link demanded.

Toriel sighed. “Has humanity already forgotten…? Long ago, two races shared the Surface: humans and monsters.”

Vaguely, Link wondered if these ‘monsters’ were at all related to the Wolfos, Stalfos, or other monsters that he had fought and slain aboveground. Probably not… these monsters appeared sentient whereas the ones up top most certainly were not.

“However, some time ago, humans and monsters came into conflict. The humans were victorious. They sealed the monsters away, here in the Underground.”

This must have happened long, long ago. Otherwise, Link would have heard about it.

“As for me… what self-respecting woman could leave a child alone and afraid, in a place unfamiliar to them? Surely, you would not abandon someone in this situation. Especially not here, where monsters…”

Link raised an eyebrow, but went along with it. He could ask questions later. “I guess… and my name is Link.”

“Very well, Link. This way,” Toriel said, leading Link back the way she had come.

!0*0!

Despite the lack of natural light in the new area, it was illuminated wholly, and Link momentarily forgot that he was underground. Above him, the entrance to what was presumably the Ruins proper loomed above, many times taller than Link himself. The sight filled him with courage. Delicately, he followed Toriel to the stairs leading up to the place, but was distracted by a floating yellow orb hanging in space there. Gingerly, he touched it.

‘’Save?’’, something boomed from deep within Link’s brain.

“Sure,” Link grumbled.

‘’File Saved.’’

The Hero wasn’t sure what that meant, but he rolled with it. It hadn’t killed him yet, so there was no point in fretting. He followed Toriel into the Ruins.

“Welcome to your new home, innocent one,” the goat monster said. Please. He was far from innocent. “Allow me to educate you in the operations of the Ruins.”

She then proceeded to walk over to a sextuplet of large buttons embedded in the floor, stepping on four of them in a counterclockwise fashion, and then pulling a lever on a nearby wall. A nearby door then shuddered open. “The Ruins are full of puzzles,” Toriel explained. “Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them in order to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them.”

“Got it,” Link said, laughing internally. He’d long gotten used to having puzzles in his dungeons that tested his thinking. He then followed his guide out of the room and into the next, which was significantly more spacious and even featured several streams that flowed tranquilly through it. It conveyed a sense of serenity that the Ruins also actively showed. Then again, looks-- and, Link supposed, sounds-- could be deceiving.

“To make progress here, you will need to pull several switches. Fortunately, I have marked the ones you need to pull.”

She moved further down the corridor, allowing Link to have a minute to himself. He breathed deeply, moving over to read a sign that read “Press Z to read signs!” That didn’t make much sense. It sounded like Kaepora Gaebora. There was also a small engraving on the wall that Link had to get really close to read, only to find that it was berating him for not being on the path. Genuinely miffed, Link scratched it with his sword before moving on.

Toriel was standing in front of a small wooden bridge crossing one of the rivers. Diverting from the path was a large lever attached to the wall, with markings courtesy of Toriel. Link dutifully pulled it, eliciting a “Splendid!” from Toriel, who then moved to just in front of the way out. This time, there were two levers on the leftmost wall, one of which bore similar markings to the one before. Feeling particularly rebellious, Link moved to pull the incorrect lever, but before he could touch it, he was interrupted.

“No no no! You want to press the other switch. I even labelled it for you…”

Link pulled the other switch.

“Excellent! I am proud of you, little one. Let us move to the next room,” Toriel encouraged, retreating out of the area. Intrigued, Link eyed the other switch before realizing that it was literally a painting of a switch on the wall. How had he not noticed that before? Slightly embarrassed, Link followed his guide into the next room. It contained a training dummy not unlike the ones he had seen in Hyrule Castle in the short time he had been there.

“As a human living in the Underground, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation.”

“I have a sword, Toriel,” Link stated.

The goat monster blinked, finally taking notice of the blade strapped to Link’s back. “Oh my goodness! A child should not be equipped with such a weapon! Remove it this instant, it’s dangerous!”

Link crossed his arms confrontationally. “Heck no, lady. Didn’t you just say that monsters may attack me, and that I need to be prepared for that? What better way than with a sword strapped to my back? Monsters are going to think twice about picking a fight with me if I’m armed.”

Toriel shot Link a disapproving glance, but could not argue with his logic. “Very well, my child… but that blade is not to even touch a monster, do you understand? Do not worry, though. There are other ways to resolve conflict!”

Link raised an eyebrow. If there had been another way to prevent a Stalfos from ripping him open from neck to navel, he’d have found it out by now.

“The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter the Combat Plane. While you are in the Combat Plane, strike up a friendly conversation! Stall for time; I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to this dummy!”

Link was too busy being flabbergasted to pay much attention to Toriel moving to block the exit. Feeling like an idiot, he approached the dummy, instantly noting its shoddy craftsmanship. It wouldn’t stand up to even a single blow.

Actually, there was a way to get the best of both worlds here, wasn’t there?

Link unsheathed his sword and executed a flawless strike on the dummy, making sure to intentionally miss. “So, how’s your day been? Mine’s been pretty bad. First I got jumped by a pack of Wolfos, then I fell down a really deep hole for the second time of my life, then I almost got murdered by a flower. Plus, I’m starting to doubt I’ll ever see my… friends… again… or any of them, for that matter.”

All the while, the young Hero was throwing out highly complicated and technical sword strikes that consistently missed their target-- the dummy- by only the narrowest of margins. This was intentional, of course; Toriel would probably chew him out if he actually attacked it. The missing abruptly became accidental when the dummy the ex-Kokiri was simultaneously chatting with and attacking floated upwards through the ceiling like some kind of dopey scepter. Toriel seemed just as confused, which was mixed with another emotion Link couldn’t identify. “Er… okay… then… come with me, my child. And sheathe that sword.”

!0*0!

Link made a mental note to never piss off Toriel. Her glare could kill-- or at least dissuade monsters from attacking Link. That Froggit was kind of cute, though.

“This is the puzzle,” she said, gesturing towards the bridge full of spikes. “But… here. Take my hand.”

“I’m good, ma’am,” Link replied. “I read the sign.”

He took the opportunity to sprint past his goat guide and darted onto the bridge, following a path that mirrored the trail engraved in the ground of the area in which he had entered the room.

“My child! That was very brash of you!” Toriel said in a disciplinary tone.

“It’s a puzzle. I’ve been solving them my entire life,” Link explained. “Let’s just continue onwards.”

The Hylian moved out of the way and let Toriel resume the lead.

“You have done quite stupendously thus far, my child. But I have a difficult request to make of you…”

Link waited.

Toriel said nothing.

Link waited some more.

“I have to ask you to walk to the end of this room by yourself.”

The Hero of Time raised an eyebrow. That was it?

“Forgive me for this,” she choked out, before quickly moving to the other side of the absurdly lengthy room. Link followed, encountering absolutely nothing on the way. Despite the lack of visual feedback, there was a sudden aura of tenseness that in no way matched the noticeable nonexistence of anything that actually threatened the Hylian. After a minute or so of walking, he noticed a pillar behind which Toriel was standing. For no reason.

“Uh… hello?”

“Yes, my child,” Toriel stated, walking out from behind the column. “Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me.”

“You’re welcome.” Internally, Link was questioning the purpose of this entire thing. It was an empty hallway. What was the point?

“There was an important reason for this exercise,” Toriel explained. “... to test your independence. I have to attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while.”

Finally.

“Please remain here. It is dangerous to explore by yourself. Oh, I have an idea! I will give you a Cell Phone!”

Link blinked. “What’s a cell phone?”

Now it was Toriel’s turn to blink in surprise. “Do you not have this on the Surface? It is a small electronic device that allows you to talk to others whenever you choose, provided each of you have a Cell Phone and you have the other’s phone number. If you have a need for anything, just call. I have saved my number in the phone already. Be good, alright?”

“Okay,” Link sighed, watching Toriel leave. As soon as she disappeared from his view, Link ventured deeper into the Ruins.

He needed to see Navi again, after all.

There you go. Review Please!

Chapter 3: Boiling Down

Chapter Text

Here’s chapter 2. Have fun.

RRRP:

Seeking7 (FF): Thank you! And who knows, maybe he will do something terrible. Also, I interpret LV and EXP not necessarily by killing things, although that’s a big component. It’s about the apathy that comes with it. The more you have hurt, the less you feel, and the more willing you are to hurt again. And believe me, this particular elf child has a lot of apathy.

MarkOfThree (FF): I hope so too, but who knows? I was intending to have Chara appear as the disembodied voice of the dialog box, like how she appears in the genocide route, but it just seemed not right when I started to write it. Goat Mom is just a wee bit too overbearing for me to consider her best mom, but she’s definitely up there!

James Birdsong (FF): Thank you!

Just A Fan of Fics (FF): Well, no. Then again, hitting LV 20 in UT doesn’t mean killing nearly as many monsters as Link has. Plus killing Twinrova-- two Gerudo with presumably high LV-- has to count for a lot too. Of course Link wants to find Navi, but I can’t say why because I get into that a bit later.

Swordmouse (AO3): Yeah, you’re probably right. Except about the fireballs. Link would hardly bat an eye.

Frog (AO3): Wow, glad you like it! What I do with all of my (not trash) fics is that I write the entire thing out beforehand and then stagger out the uploads in a consistent and timely fashion. It makes the whole thing a lot less stressful on me and it doesn’t make the readers wait too long in between uploads.

Chapter 2

Link nearly dropped the Cell Phone when it first rang, the instant he left the room. It also almost sent him into a full-blown panic attack, old instincts screaming for him to draw his sword and gut whatever had made that sound. He took a second to collect himself before clicking the “Accept” button on the phone.

“Hello? This is Toriel,” Toriel’s tinny voice emanated from the thing. “You have not left the room, have you? There are a few puzzles ahead that I have not yet explained. It would be dangerous to try and solve them yourself. Be good, alright?”

The phone made a clicking noise as it went dead. Link stowed it away before completely disregarding what Toriel had said and talking to a nearby Froggit.

“Ribbit, Ribbit… ribbit,” the frog croaked, which roughly translated to “Excuse me, human. I have some advice for you about battling monsters. If you Act a certain way or Fight until you almost defeat them, they may not want to battle you anymore. If a monster doesn’t want to fight you, please… use some Mercy, human.” Link had no idea where he’d learned Froggish; in fact, he probably hadn’t. But there was some strange machination in the deep shadows of his mind that had somehow automatically translated it as soon as it entered his ears.

A Save Point, as Link had so creatively dubbed, was floating over a rectangle of particularly crunchy leaves. Stepping through them and hearing the satisfying crunch beneath his feet filled Link with courage, for some reason. He progressed forwards, only to be interrupted by what the Combat Plane’s text box called a “Whimsun”, who sucked him into the Combat Plane by his soul. Remembering the Froggit’s advice, the Hylian ignored the Fight button and went for the Act, which in itself contained three options: Check, Console, Terrorize.

“Why are these my options? What if I want to do literally anything else!” Link complained, before coming to the sudden realization that he was in the real world again. Apparently, halfway through his first words, the Whimsun had burst into tears and flown away. Poor thing.

Link continued, eventually finding himself in a cramped corridor with two holes in the sides of the leftmost wall. Not realizing their purpose, he continued to walk forwards, only to stop when the floor nearly gave out on him. The Hero of Time backed away from the fragile floor before taking a running leap over it and landing on the other side, before continuing on his way.

The instant the Hylian entered the next chamber, his phone rang. This time, fortunately, Link didn’t enter a fully-blown panic session; rather, he managed to only panic for a few seconds before responding to the call.

“Hello? This is Toriel,” the goat’s tinny voice echoed from the other side of the phone. “For… no reason in particular… which do you prefer? Cinnamon or butterscotch?”

“Uh… what’s butterscotch?” Link asked self-consciously. By the Three, this was embarrassing.

“Why… it’s a mixture of sugar, butter, and cream. It’s one of my specialties, actually,” Toriel informed. Link could picture the pitying expression on her face right now. He hated it.

“Well, I suppose I could try it. The butterscotch, I mean,” Link answered.

“Oh, I see! Thank you very much!”

The phone went dead, and Link was about to put it away before it blared to life again. Startled, Link dropped the phone, which collided with the vermillion stone beneath him. Fortunately, the object did not appear damaged in any way.

“Hello? This is Toriel,” Toriel reintroduced. “You do not dislike cinnamon, do you? I know what you’d like to try, but… would you turn up your nose if you found it on your plate?”

“Uh…” Link commented intelligently. “I, uh, I’ll eat pretty much anything. I’m not picky.”

It was true. Throughout his quest in Hyrule, and especially in Termina, he’d been forced to widen his eating palette considerably, even to things that others would consider questionable-- like roots, for example, or tubers that had been ripped out of the ground seconds prior.

“Right, right, I understand,” the motherly monster answered. “Thank you for being patient, by the way.”

Click… Link scoffed as he moved on, examining a plaque on the wall. Three out of four grey rocks recommend that you push them, it read. Link groaned; he’d done an uncountable number of block-sliding puzzles in his days questing throughout Hyrule and Termina. Evidently, they weren’t done with him yet.

Thankfully, the rocks he was being asked to shove about weren’t all that heavy, and as such, proved not to be an issue for the Hero of Time, whose muscles rippled beneath his skin. They had been built up significantly over the course of his adventures and the months of travel after and in between.

Pushing the first stone onto a small button prompted a wall of iron spikes to disappear, revealing the way forwards. Link moved to cross it, only to be interrupted by another Whimsun, or perhaps the same Whimsun as before. Just like last time, half of a word was enough to prompt the small monster to run away. He earned zero gold and zero EXP.

The next room was entirely made of the permeable floor, complete with a tunnel leading up from the lower area. Cautiously, Link stepped out onto the darker purple area, fully expecting it to collapse-- only for nothing to happen. Rolling his eyes, the Hero beelined for the door, only to fall straight through it. He landed on a bed of crunchy leaves, negating any damage he may have sustained. It didn’t cover the entire floor, however, leaving a solid path untouched. Understanding what he had to do, Link darted backwards and clambered up to the main floor before following the leafless path as best he could, eventually making it to the other side.

Before he could process the contents of the following area, he was interrupted and sucked into the Combat Plane by what was apparently classified as a Moldsmal. Link moved to the Act button and read his options: Check, Imitate, and Flirt.

“Why are these my three options?” the Hylian complained. Some part of him suggested to flee the battlefield instead, but what was the point of that? If he ran away, it would invite the monster to attack him again.

Grumbling, Link selected the ‘Imitate’ option, lying down on the ground with the Moldsmal. For some strange reason, he felt like he understood the world a little bit better. As for the why, he had no idea.

“*slime sounds,” gurgled the Moldsmal as it dropped revolting suds from its body into the white square, which then exploded with disease in a perfect circle. Link was forced to carefully maneuver his soul out of the way of the giblets before it became his turn again.

Gagging internally, Link selected “Flirt”. He wiggled his hips, clueless regarding the actual meaning of his actions. Evidently, the Moldsmal seemed to enjoy it, wiggling back with equal fervor. What an enlightening conversation in which no discernable communication was made.

More giblets spewed out of the monster, although Link could somehow tell that its scent was more pungent for some reason. But the fight still wasn’t over, much to his chagrin. Interestingly, he noticed that the Moldsmal’s name in the text box of the Combat Plane was colored yellow. Did that mean Link could spare it? He attempted to Spare the Moldsmal, and was successful, receiving eight gold as compensation.

No sooner than the instant he exited the Combat Plane, Link found himself sucked back into it by a duo of Froggits. The Act button allowed him to Check, Complement, or Threat.

“Y’know,” Link grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I think you guys put some kind of perfume on… or something… Smells nice.”

Froggit didn’t understand what you said, but was flattered anyway, the text box at the bottom of his vision informed.

Having spared the Froggits, Link finally got around to observing the room. Three grey rocks were situated in front of three buttons. Beyond that, there was nothing in the room save for a small babbling brook and a bridge covered in spikes. Knowing what he had to do, Link laboriously lugged the first two stones into place over their respective buttons, but the third one was immutable. Try as he might, the Hylian simply couldn’t get it to budge.

“Whoa, there, partner!” the rock squealed, startling the Hero. “Who said you could push me around?”

Link sighed. “Could you please move onto that button?”

“Hm? So you’re askin’ me to move over? Grumble… Okay, just for you, pumpkin.”

The rock moved itself a single foot. Link facepalmed, reiterating his initial request.

“Oh, you want me to move some more? Alrighty, how’s this!”

The grey rock shifted perpendicularly to the direction Link had indicated, much to the infuriation of the youth. Losing his patience, he once again asked the rock to go to the button.

“Huh? That was the wrong direction? Well, why didn’t you say so? Shame on you! Alright, I think I got it!”

The rock then slid directly onto the floor plaque, lowering the spikes on the bridge. Eagerly, Link thanked the rock and sprinted forwards, only for the spikes to suddenly return. The Hylian barely managed to stop himself from getting impaled, before turning and glaring at the talking rock, who had moved off of the button.

“No! Stay on the stupid button!”

“You’re givin’ me a real workout, kid…” the stone rumbled, moving back onto the button reluctantly. At this point, Link was beginning to question his sanity.

The proceeding area held nothing but a Save Point and a table bearing a block of extremely moldy cheese. On closer inspection, there was also a mouse hole on the wall. Link saved, wrinkling his nose as the rancid odor of rotting cheese, before quickly leaving.

The next area was significantly more claustrophobic, and bore a tight entryway that was currently being blocked by a dopey-looking Poe-like creature on the ground.

“ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… ZZZZZZZZZZZZ… are they gone yet… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…” the ghost mumbled as it pretended to sleep. Who did this fellow think they were fooling? Nobody says the letter ‘Z’ repeatedly out loud and expects anyone to think they were slumbering!

Screw it, Link thought to himself. I’m just going to move this guy.

As soon as he even came close to touching the ghost’s ethereal form, his soul was sucked into the Combat Plane. Here comes Napstablook, the lower text box said. The ghost looked depressed, a far cry from the anger that the Poes of his world had.

Maybe it was the lantern.

Link perused the Act panel, seeing that his options were Check, Flirt, Threat, and Cheer. It appeared that Check and Flirt were repeating options… not that he’d ever touch Flirt. He’d learned his lesson after the extremely awkward ‘fight’ with the Moldsmal. Presuming that Check told him his enemy’s stats, much like how Navi would give him tips during his first adventure, Link tried ‘Cheer’. He shot a patient smile at the ghost, utilizing every ounce of his learned ability to feign any emotion.

“Heh…” the specter whispered as tears shot out of its eyes into the small box in which Link’s soul resided. The water droplets clambered up the sides of the box and back down again, drenching Link’s soul in small amounts of damage. By the Golden Goddesses, he didn’t like the feeling of that.

At the very least, Napstablook looked a little bit happier. Seeing that this was working at least a little, Link Cheered again.

“I’d just weigh you down…” Napstablook moaned softly, as the small box filled with the words ‘really not feelin up to it right now. Sorry.” Link could really empathize with that, which surprised him. Maybe he could simply relate to the feeling of wanting to give up, from his other adventures.

Link Cheered yet again, this time telling a little joke. “You want to hear a joke? My life.”

“Heh heh…”

The tears still flowed down from the ghost towards Link’s soul, but at a lessening velocity.

Link would have tried Sparing the spirit, but the name wasn’t yellow, so he tried again.

“Let me try…” Napstablook started before crying upwards, tears forming a rather suave top hat on its spectral cranium. “I call it dapper blook… do you like it?”

“I think it would be cooler if you called it dap’stablook,” Link said, “but yeah, that’s really cool. I like it.”

Honestly, the Hylian was just impressed that the tears managed to hold shape so well, going so far as to defy gravity.

“Oh no…” Napstablook said, removing him from the Combat Plane. “I usually come to the Ruins because there’s nobody around… but today I met someone nice… Oh, I’m rambling again… I’ll get out of your way…”

The spirit then phased out of existence, leaving the entryway clear. What a nice experience, Link thought to himself. The Hylian rounded the corner and read a sign planted directly in front of him.

‘Did you miss it? Spider Bake Sale down and to the right! Come eat food made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders!’

Shrugging because he didn’t have anything better to do, Link followed the sign’s instructions and read the next sign. ‘Spider Bake Sale! All proceeds go to real spiders!’

Link took a few of the gold coins he’d gotten from the monsters he’d not killed and gingerly paced seven of them in the spider web. A full platoon of spiders crawled down from the ceiling and handed him some kind of circle of dough, as well as a small piece of paper. The writings on the wall called it a ‘donut’. Link pocketed that tidbit of information, sensing that he could use it later. He didn’t pocket the paper, not seeing the point of it.

He took some time to talk to the Froggits in the area, only being distracted when a Loox tried to murder him. All the Hylian had to do was not pick on the monster and it let him go.

His phone rang, and Link didn’t have a panicking fit before answering-- surely an achievement.

“Hello? I just realized that it has been a while since I cleaned up… I wasn’t expecting to have company so soon, you see! There are probably a lot of things lying around here and there. You can pick them up, but don’t carry more than you need.”

Link laughed softly. He had a pouch that could carry a practically infinite amount of--

Wait. It was at his campsite. Which was on the Surface. With all of his other stuff.

Crud.

“Someday, you might see something you really like,” Toriel continued. “You will want to leave room in your pockets for that.”

The phone went dead, as Link wandered into the next room. There were six small spots of permeable floor scattered throughout the area, and a plaque on the wall read that there was only one switch in the room’. That switch presumably toggled the spikes that barred Link from progressing further into the Ruins. The question, of course, was that of ‘where is it?’ That was a stupid question; it must have been on the lower level.

The Hero of Time voluntarily plummeted down to the lowest level, via the first hole he could find. He was thrusted into a cramped, tiny compartment, which was barren excluding some kind of rock partially embedded in the ground. The Hylian didn’t see the rock until he gracelessly tripped over it, at which point he realized that it wasn’t a rock so much as a monster.

A Vegetoid, to be exact, Link realized as he was dragged by the soul towards the Combat Plane. Rollings his eyes, he directed himself towards the Act menu and read his options; Check, Talk, Devour, and Dinner. One the one hand, Link was confused as to what the latter two actually meant. On the other, he was just happy ‘Flirt’ wasn’t an option.

He decided to Talk to the Vegetoid, striking up the best conversation he could-- apologizing that he had to make like a tree and leaf.

“Plants can’t talk dummy,” the monster vegetable chastised mockingly, talking in the process. Link was about to point this out, but was interrupted as a rain of harmful produce fell out of the sky. Unfortunately, the Hero took a grazing blow to the Soul, which interestingly reciprocated as a shallow pain on the arm. It wasn’t enough to draw blood, but it hurt like mad. His HP dropped a measly three points.

Soon it was Link’s turn again and, not knowing what to do, selected Dinner. He made a show of patting his stomach, still feeling very much like an idiot. The Vegetoid didn’t seem to mind Link’s awkwardness, instead proceeding to offer a healthy meal to the Hero.

“Eat your greens,” the Vegetoid advised, summoning more fruits and vegetables to throw at him. A few of them were green, which Link assumed to restore health as opposed to taking it away. Indeed, touching the green carrot as it fell restored one HP. The Vegetoid smiled mysteriously, but for some reason Link couldn’t Spare the creature just yet. He repeated the Dinner option in the Act menu and repeated the entire charade, after which he could finally Spare the living vegetable.

That being done, Link crawled back up to the top floor and took another guess. He chose the rightmost middle floor and threw himself down it, almost landing on top of Napstablook again.

“Oh, hey again!” Link greeted. “What’cha doing down here?” The Hylian really did like this ghost for some reason that he couldn’t quite place. It was something about empathy and the experience that they’d shared earlier in the Ruins. It was like the Poe understood him.

“I fell down this hole… now I can’t get up…” Napstablook confessed. “Go on without me…”

“There’s a--”

“Wait… Ghosts can fly, can’t they… oh well…”

And so the conversation was over, ending with the spirit floating up through the ceiling. Laughing a bit at Napstablook’s antics, Link clambered back up to the main floor and fell through the floor closest to him, finally finding the switch and tugging it. Heading back up revealed that the exit spikes that had once blocked the path forwards were gone.

The following room was shaped like a sideways ‘L’, and featured three pillars and three strange colored things close to them, which were apparently labeled as ‘buttons’. A plaque on the wall told him that ‘the far door is not an exit. It simply marks a rotation in perspective.’ Odd. Link wondered what that meant.

Regardless, there was nothing stopping him from moving on to the next area, so the Hylian marched through the exit… only to find himself in the same room he’d once found himself in! Except now, the plaque by the door was inexplicably gone. Groaning, Link scouted out the rest of the room, finding another engraving tucked away by the following exit, which now had spikes blocking it. How had he not noticed it in the other room?

‘If you can read this, press the blue switch,’ the sign read. Why couldn’t he have read it before? This was very confusing. But luckily he was good with puzzles, and obediently activated the blue switch now hidden behind a pillar. From afar, he heard the squealing of metal on metal, the hallmark of a rusted trap disarming. Link entered the same room again, this time noticing a sign right next to the door on his right. Again, how had he not seen this twice? It was right there, for the Goddesses’ sake!” He shoved down his confusion and pressed the red switch, as the wall writings suggested. The spikes that blocked the exit once again dropped, allowing Link to re-enter the same darned room. By this point, the Hylian was screaming internally. He’d just walked in a full circle-- three hundred and sixty degrees. If he walked through the following door, shouldn’t he end up in the first room, where the rotations had started and where the spikes had already been lowered? And shouldn’t the other end of this room take up the same space as the area before this loop? This didn’t make sense!

Then again, the Water Temple was significantly more labyrinthian, but Link wasn’t mad about that.

That being said, the Water Temple didn’t completely violate the basic laws of reality.

Shrugging it off, Link decided to finish this room before bogging himself down with technicalities. He had learned long ago-- as early as Jabu-Jabu, actually-- that sometimes, it was best to suspend one’s disbelief in order to retain their sanity. There was a plaque directly in front of them that directed him to press a green switch, which the Hylian looked at and genuinely thought was more yellow than green. Regardless, he pressed it, allowing him to exit the area.

Fortunately for his sanity, he was not reintroduced to the same puzzle again. Instead he was directed to a crossroads He elected to go straight, finding himself in a small room with a friendly Froggit. They started a quick conversation.

“Ribbit ribbit… ribbit,” the Froggit stated, which was helpfully translated to “Just between you and me, I saw Toriel come out of here just a little while ago. She was carrying some groceries. I didn’t ask what they were for… We’re all too intimidated to talk to her.”

“How do you mean?” Link asked.

“Well, she was the queen of the Underground when we came down here,” the Froggit revealed. “Plus, have you met her? She’ll either get you with a glare or with a pun.”

Link took a double take. “Was the queen?”

The Froggit managed to shrug despite their lack of shoulders. “Don’t ask me, human,” they said. “It happened a very long time ago.”

After saying goodbye to the Froggit, Link pushed past it and came to a thin ledge overlooking a sprawling town. He’d never seen anything like it in all of his years. The buildings were absolutely gargantuan, each managing to stand as tall as Hyrule Castle, although none came close to being as wide. But there were hundreds of them, maybe even thousands. Link took a few minutes to simply observe from his perch, watching the monsters below mill about between the structures with purpose, each living their lives the same way they had the day before, and the day before that.

The Hylian was distracted from this peaceful scene by the ringing of the phone in his pocket. By now, he’d adapted to its tone and no longer suffered at its sound. He picked it up.

“Hello? This is Toriel,” the queen’s calming voice echoed. “I’ve finally finished tidying up, my child. It really did take longer than I thought it would. I will see you soon, and we can finish your… tu-toriel!”

She started guffawing in a wholly natural fashion. Link, conversely, was just confused, the joke flying all the way over his head.

“I don’t get it…”

“Toriel? Tutorial?” she explained.

“Oh… heh heh…” Link forced.

“Anyways, I just wanted to check up on you. I am on my way back right now. I’ll be right there, innocent one!”

The phone went dead, and Link’s heart froze as he realized that Toriel still thought he was sitting in that one room further in the Ruins. He let out a tiny scream, nearly tripping over a toy knife on his way out of the overlook and sprinted back the way he’d come, rounding the corner past the confused Froggit, down the purple hallways, the wind biting at his face, ignoring Toriel’s bewildered expression as he darted past her, back to where she was supposed to meet--

Hang on a second.

“My child?” Toriel asked, dress fluttering slightly due to the wind caused by Link’s high velocity.

“Uh… hi,” Link replied lamely.

“How did you get here? Are you hurt?” she asked, already tilting Link’s thin features this way and that. “Barely even a scratch! Impressive… but still. I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible of me to try and surprise you like this…”

Link raised an eyebrow.

“Err…” Toriel sighed, looking off to the side. “Well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, small one!”

She led Link gently by the hand around a dead tree planted in the middle of the path. Ahead was a rather small home, built out of the same violet stone as the walls surrounding it. Seeing such cute, tidy house in the middle of the Ruins gave Link some modicum of courage… for some reason. Truth be told, Link had no idea what was going on.

“Do you smell that?” Toriel mused. Link sniffed the air experimentally, and his nostrils filled with the heady aroma of cinnamon and something sweet that the Hero couldn’t identify. Probably that butterscotch stuff. It smelled good, definitely outclassing anything that Link had eaten throughout either of his adventures. During that period, something like fresh bread was considered a fine delicacy, and Link typically subsisted off of roots, stale breads, and whatever he managed to hunt. “Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie. I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here, so I will hold off on snail pie for tonight.”

Snail pie? That sounded… interesting. Not exactly Link’s first choice, but it was certainly better than that one time he’d eaten what he thought was quinoa seeds and spent the next few days vomiting his stomach out. He had never made that mistake again.

“Here, I have another surprise for you,” Toriel added, taking Link’s hand again and leading him down a hall. They stopped in front of a beige door that hardly stood out from the other few decorating the pathway. “Here it is. A room of your own. I hope you like it!”

She gingerly and soothingly rubbed the top of Link’s head through his hat. The Hylian was unenthused and tensed under her touch, a wave of panic washing over his body as adrenaline surged through his veins. Evidently, the queen recognized that something was wrong.

“Er, is something burning…? Um, make yourself at home!” she squeaked before speedwalking to the other side of the stairs. This left Link alone, who silently opened the door and closed it behind him. He unslung his sword from his back and propped it up against the wall. He tested the bed and found it to be too soft for him to actually sleep on it, so he made a mental note to sleep on the floor that night.

He usually did, after all.

Gonna wrap it up here.

Review Please!

Chapter 4: Winding Down

Chapter Text

I’m so glad I read over these before I post them, because I realized that I totally screwed up the ordering of the beginning of this chapter. I had to rework the entire timeline of events so that it made sense in chronological order!

Anyhoo, hooray for original content!

RRRP:

Just a Fan of Fics (FF): I feel like Link would gain emotional maturity from going on adventures, so I don’t really get why you say that time-travel shenanigans give him emotional immaturity. I love it too!

MarkOfThree (FF): Chara doesn’t make a direct appearance in HL, unfortunately. Sans, however… he’s a different beast altogether.

Swordmouse (AO3) : That would be funny, but Link sleeps sitting up. It’s easier to get up in a pinch that way.

Seeking7 (FF): Why thank you! I think the best way to describe my take on the Hero of Time was put by someone called ‘A Decent Person’, who referred to Link as-- and I kid you not-- a ‘f*cking edgelord crybaby’. I want to pin those words on a wall somewhere, I think it’s hysterical. But still, my take on the Hero of Time isn’t all that novel. I take some inspiration from people like TheLoneStar6; his works are fantastic and I highly recommend them. I touch on this more in Tears of Memory.

The only reason I can maintain this update schedule is because I’ve already finished it. What I do with all of my fics starting with TOM is that I write out the entire thing beforehand, then stagger out the uploads so that my readers have time to digest it. Just look at my Star Wars works to see how much not doing this hurts me. Or don’t, because they suck.

Supure29 (FF) : Thank you so much! I’m looking forwards to it too!

Chapter 3

Link’s eyes snapped open as he grappled for a sword that was no longer attached to his back. He was breathing heavily, forehead shining with sweat from the exertion he was under in his dreams. The nightmare had sent him to the Fire Temple and the battle with Volvagia, the subterranean lava dragon. Even now, Link could almost feel the brutal heat of the Death Mountain Crater lapping at his body, with nothing but the Goron Tunic keeping him from bursting into flames. He took a few minutes to process that he was propped up against the wall of his personal chambers in Toriel’s house, his sword was leaning against the wall just a few paces away from him, and he was not in mortal danger. That last one was probably the most unusual of the three.

A series of panicked thuds rumbled from outside, and his door swung open. The warm, flickering light of a flame illuminated Toriel’s hand, in which hovered a large fireball. In her other hand was a plate with a slice of pie on it.

“My child, are you alright?” the motherly monster asked. “I heard bumping, and-- why are you not in bed? It’s late!”

“The bed is too soft,” Link explained casually. “I find it easier to sleep on the floor. And I’m fine, I just move a lot when I sleep.”

Toriel frowned, but said nothing. “You really ought to sleep in the bed, innocent one. You will get better rest.”

“I’ve gotten used to it,” Link replied. “Thank you, though.”

Smiling warmly, Toriel placed the slice of pie on the ground in front of Link before exiting the room, closing the door silently behind her. The warm scent of cinnamon and presumably butterscotch filled the room as sleep overtook Link’s mind.

!0*0!

Link had already explored much of his new home in the first day he’d been there, even going so far as to slip into Toriel’s own dormitory unnoticed and poke around. Her diary was full of terrible puns that made Link grin a bit despite himself. It was a grin half of amusem*nt and half of pity. He hadn’t gone downstairs yet; in truth, he had hardly even noticed its existence. He had taken the slice of pie from his room but didn’t partake in it; he was never very hungry in the mornings. He’d trained that instinct out of him as early as the decayed timeline, where Ganondorf ruled over Hyrule.

He took a seat in an armchair by the fire, watching Toriel read a book of ‘interesting’ snail facts. Occasionally, she would tell him one, like how snails couldn’t make good shoelaces. The Hylian was currently enlightening himself on a book regarding fauna of both the surface and the Underground. It was a drearily boring business, but he at least got to learn about the types of plants native to the Underground that he could eat in a pinch.

A lot of them were golden flowers, funnily enough. And some of them, like buttercups, were poisonous.

Toriel looked up. “My child, if you don’t altogether mind… could you mayhaps change clothes? The outfit you have on is a bit… dirty… and stained with-- is that blood? Whose is it? Yours? Who did this to you?! I will make them apologize!”

“It was no one, Toriel,” Link hastened to say. “Nobody you know.” It was probably from the Wolfos pack he’d been fighting before he fell down here. To be quite frank, he was surprised Toriel hadn’t commented on it earlier. Maybe the fact that he, a human, had fallen down here had surprised her too much to really notice it. “And I suppose I could change into something a bit cleaner. Where can I get some?”

“I have some clothes stored in a cabinet in your room,” Toriel revealed, despite Link already having looked in there. “I keep some just in case a child falls down. And… again, pardon me for asking… Do you mind taking a bath? I don’t mean to be rude, but… you are a bit sweaty.”

Link raised an eyebrow. He knew what a bath was, but also had believed that they were a royalty thing, at least in Hyrule. Then again, Toriel was a queen…

“Okay,” Link consented, setting down his book and making for the bathroom, whose door was on the right-hand side of the other hallway. He did make a detour in his own room to grab a fresh set of clothing. He eventually decided on a green and yellow striped shirt and a pair of simple brown trousers. Having done that, he departed to the bathroom, where he realized with a start that he had no idea how to operate it. Deciding that it would be best to not manage to hurt himself, he called for Toriel, who kindly explained how the bath worked. She then left the room politely, allowing Link to declothe and gingerly step into the tub.

His body was mottled with old, healed scars, souvenirs of his previous adventures. In fact, he could name most of them and recount the place he’d gotten them. This scar, that traveled a short distance from his sternum to the closest rib, was a graze he’d received from Odolwa in Woodfall. This other scar, a slightly deeper cut right by his left ankle, was a gift from an Iron Knuckle below the graveyard in Ikana Canyon. A red splotch by his right hip came from Gyorg in the Great Bay Temple, who had grazed him with its massive fish body. On top of that, the Hylian was extremely thin, a byproduct of running himself ragged and lacking a large amount of food, which was required by the hero-ing lifestyle. He’d long since accepted it. At this point, he practically thought that this was what everyone looked like. Of course, that wasn’t true; the Hero of Time knew that his appearance was not necessarily normal for his apparent age. But it was his body, and he would not trade it for anything.

The water was extremely warm to the touch, lulling Link into a soothed state of calm. He shook himself out of his doldrums; he had to clean himself up. That was why he was here, after all. He snagged a bar of soap from a shelf a few feet above the tub, chagrined that he could barely reach it, and began lathering it all over his scarred form. He could feel himself becoming more and more relaxed as time passed, so he hurried as quickly as he could. The feeling of tranquilness had long since become foreign to him.

He finished his bath and pulled on his new clothes. They hardly fit on him at all; his frame was far too slim for them. The Hylian gave a futile tug before leaving the bathroom, smelling like lavender, and beelined for his own room. In it, he found a belt and wound it around his waist. It stopped the pants from sagging, at least.

“Small one! It’s time for dinner!” Toriel called, prompting Link to leave his room and enter the living room, where a small table had been set up. On it were several different types of food, each emitting a different, yet heavenly aroma.

The Hero of Time took a seat, and Toriel wasted no time in putting food on his plate. It was, however, significantly more than Link could actually hope to eat; his stomach’s carrying capacity had shrunk significantly due to his adventures. This was an issue only compounded by his characteristic lack of hunger. He had managed to weasel his way out of the first meal in the morning by saying that he wasn’t very hungry right then. Toriel had convinced him to eat something small at midday, supposedly to put something into his system. He had opted to have what Toriel herself had taken, being a cup of tea and a toasted piece of bread. This was probably the best option for him; if he’d had anything more, he doubted he would have been able to put anything in his stomach come the end of the day.

That notwithstanding, he tried to consume a proportionally identical amount of everything on his plate. Granted, it wasn’t much, but it was something. He ended up leaving about three-quarters of his food untouched, which was a genuine achievement given how not hungry he was.

“My child, you haven’t eaten all that much. Do you like it?” Toriel inquired worriedly.

“Like it?” Link replied, looking at her like she was crazy. “This is easily some of the best food I’ve ever eaten. It’s just… well… it’s a lot . And, uh… I’m already full.” He managed to get out a pathetic-sounding breath that was supposed to be a laugh. Sheepishness was one of the emotions that he couldn’t quite replicate on a moment’s notice just yet.

Toriel appeared surprised. “Ah, I understand. This was roughly how much I remembered the last child typically ate, although I might be overestimating. I will save this food for tomorrow, and we can have it then. I’m sorry for giving you too much.”

“You’re going to leave it out for a full day? What if it goes bad?” Link said.

“Oh, I’m not going to just leave it out!” Toriel clarified. “I’m going to put it in the fridge. It stays fresh that way.”

“Uh, what’s a fridge?” Link asked sheepishly, putting a hand behind his neck and rubbing habitually.

“Oh, silly me! I forgot that you aren’t familiar with monster technology. A refrigerator is a large device that keeps things cold. It doesn’t rot anywhere near as quickly that way. Rest assured, it is safe to eat.”

Link supposed he would be learning something new every day from then on. Just as well.

!0*0!

When Link awoke the next day, he was shocked to find that he wasn’t back on the Surface, in the woods with Epona on the search for Navi. He’d half expected this entire Underground debacle to be some kind of schizophrenic fever dream, but no. This was real. He’d really fallen down here. At least he’d woken up peacefully, without the usual nightmares that typically plagued him in the hours just before the dawn.

Link stood from his position propped up against the wall, cricked his neck, and left the room, finding Toriel sitting in an armchair by the fire, reading her snail book.

“Up already, I see?” Toriel greeted.

“Hi, Toriel,” Link replied.

“I would like you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books that I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I’ve also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you, but I have always wanted to be a teacher… actually, perhaps that isn’t very surprising at all. Still. I am glad to have you living here. Feel free to take any of the books from the shelves.”

Taking Toriel up on her offer, Link took a random book from a nearby shelf and would have opened it, if it hadn’t slipped out of his hands and landed on his foot.

“Oh my! Link, are you hurt?” Toriel exclaimed, concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Link hissed in faux pain. “I guess I only have my-shelf to blame for that…”

Toriel blinked, looking at Link’s new posture leaning against the bookshelf, before bursting into the most genuine laughter the Hylian had ever heard. Grinning despite himself, Link went to pick up the rather ponderous text he had dropped, which turned out to be one on monster history.

“That was quite good, my child. I’m going to have to remember that,” Toriel managed to say after getting over her laughing fit.

“Don’t mention it,” Link replied before flipping to a random page.

Trapped behind the barrier and fearful of further human attacks, we retreated , the ex-Kokiri read. Far, far into the earth we walked, until we reached the cavern’s end. This was our new home, which we named… ‘Home’. As great as our king is, he is pretty lousy at names .

Vaguely, Link wondered who this ‘king’ was. It would have to be Toriel’s husband, but if that were true, where was he?

He glanced at his current caretaker, who was wholly entrenched in her book. He could bug her about it later.

!0*0!

“Can I go on a run? Outside?” Link asked.

Toriel looked up from her book. “What, my child?” she asked.

“I’d like to go on a run,” Link repeated. “I won’t be gone long. Maybe twenty minutes, half an hour. It helps me think about stuff.”

The goat monster seemed to see the sense in this request. “Very well, my child. But you must promise me to not engage with any other monsters, alright?”

“Okay, Link agreed, leaving. He was wearing his old tunic, which had been washed since he had arrived at Toriel’s home a few days prior. It was a quiet life, one that Link wasn’t used to. If he didn’t get a chance to do something outside of it soon, he was going to scream. Back in Hyrule, he had space to breathe. Here in the Ruins, however, Link felt confined and claustrophobic. This increased his latent anxiety tenfold, driving him to irritability and stress. It wasn’t healthy. He couldn’t stay here.

He made up his mind. He was going to ask how to leave as soon as he got back to the house. To cement the occasion, he Saved at the point just outside the house.

!0*0!

“Back from your run already, my child?” Toriel greeted warmly.

“Yeah, Toriel. Nice and quiet,” Link replied. “Helped clear my head.”

“Oh, I see. Are you hungry? I baked Snail Pie!”

“Actually… this has been on my mind for a while… how do I leave the Ruins?”

Toriel froze. She’d been waiting for that question.

“... Stay here. I have to do something,” she said suddenly.

The monster got up and left the room hastily. Link followed her wordlessly, down a set of stairs that he somehow hadn’t noticed before, but not before making a detour to his room to pick up his sword.

The stairs ended in a thin, cramped corridor made of the same purple stones as outside. Toriel was walking down it, so Link followed.

“You wish to know how to return ‘home’, do you not? Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins, a one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again. Now be a good child and go upstairs.”

“No,” Link disagreed obstinately, following her.

“Every human that falls down here meets the same fate,” she continued. “I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die. You naive child… if you leave the ruins… they… Asgore… will kill you.”

“Your husband?” Link asked.

She stiffened. “I am only trying to protect you, do you understand that? Go to your room.”

“Again, no,” Link stated.

“Do not try to stop me,” Toriel warned. “This is your final warning.”

Link followed.

“You want to leave so badly?” Toriel said, her back still facing towards Link. “Hmph. You are just like the others.”

He doubted it.

“There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself… Prove to me that you are strong enough to survive.”

She pulled Link into the Combat Plane. She blocked the way forwards, barring Link from ever leaving the Ruins. From ever seeing Navi again. He had to get past this, out of the Underground and into the bright sunlight of the surface world. Back to Hyrule.

Back home.

If she wanted Link to prove that he was strong enough, he would gladly do so. The Hylian remembered the words of a Froggit he had talked to earlier in the ruins. Its croaky words floated back to him now: ‘If you fight until a monster is almost defeated, they may not want to battle you anymore.’ He didn’t want to hurt Toriel; the text box below told him she ‘knew best for him’. But, if he dealt damage to her, she might see that he was a far cry from any child she’d taken care of before him.

Link hit the Fight button, and after confirming his choice, a receptacle opened up in his dialog box with a single white line tracing over it. He swung his Kokiri Sword down in a perfect arc, nailing a successful hit on the motherly monster. A red line appeared in front of her, and as it disappeared, it left a large number in its wake: 23,198,756, to be exact. Toriel donned an expression of tired happiness as a bar full of green rapidly shifted to a dark grey tone. Her dress suddenly sprouted a massive gouge on the side where Link had struck her, and closer examination revealed that the damage was more than flesh-deep.

“Urgh…” she got out laboriously, sinking to her knees. “You are stronger than I thought. Much… stronger… Listen to me, Link…”

The Hylian in question had been standing in abject shock, not expecting to cut the goat monster down that quickly. The sound of his name sucked him into action, as he dashed over to Toriel’s prone form and helped support her.

“If you go beyond this door…” Toriel said, breathing deeply. “Keep walking as far as you can. Eventually you will reach an exit.”

Her expression became more pained. “No, no,” Link moaned, holding her dying form closer to him. “Don’t go… I’m sorry…”

“Asgore… Do not let Asgore take your soul…” Toriel continued. ‘His plan cannot be allowed to succeed.” Every second seemed to be more of a struggle for Toriel, and what pain was etched into her features quickly became mirrored in Link’s own tears. He didn’t remember starting to cry.

“Be… good… won’t you? Link… my child.”

Her body evaporated into dust with a soft sigh, and a small, inverted white heart became visible. It was vibrating and twitching madly. Before long, that white soul cracked, and exploded into pieces. And Link remained kneeling there, the dust of his… former friend… staining his hands. His tears stopped, instead switching to a profound sense of fury. At himself. As usual.

He marched back upstairs. The fireplace had gone out. The Hylian screamed in rage and self-loathing as he kicked the wall, stubbing his toe. Ouch.

He didn’t remember feeling this bad about killing anything on the Surface. But they had all wanted him dead, though. It was just self-defense. Right?

Right?

Something told him to Reset, whatever that meant. He didn’t know what that meant.

There had to be something he could do. The whispers of ‘Reset’ told him as much. Reset meant going back to a certain point… like a Save Point...

Suddenly knowing what he had to do, the Hylian sprinted out of the house and stuck his hands in the Save Point there. Instead of Saving, the Hylian pounded the Reset option with every ounce of strength in his lithe body.

Link felt his eyes involuntarily slam shut. When he opened them, he was… still outside of Toriel’s house. Nothing had visibly changed.

Link swallowed, and entered the house. He beelined towards the living room, where-- like a miracle-- Toriel was reading her snail book, as if nothing had ever happened! Well, of course nothing had happened. Nothing had happened.

“Back from your run already, my child? Err, why are you looking at me like that? Like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“Because I saw a ghost today,” Link quickly ad libbed, getting over his shock. “Their name was Napstablook. Nice fellow, actually.”

“Oh, I see, my child. Are you hungry? I baked Snail Pie!”

“Actually… how do I leave the Ruins?” Link asked, trying to sound identical to how he had done his first time around.

“... Stay here. I have to do something,” Toriel said suddenly.

She got up and left the room. Link followed her wordlessly, down the same stairs he had already descended, but not before making a detour to his room to pick up his sword.

“You wish to know how to return ‘home’, do you not? Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins, a one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again. Now be a good child and go upstairs.”

“I’m not a child. I’m at least eighteen!” Link argued, following her.

“Every human that falls down here meets the same fate,” she continued. “I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die. You naive child… if you leave the ruins… they… Asgore… will kill you. I am only trying to protect you, do you understand that? Go to your room.”

“Again, no,” Link stated.

“Do not try to stop me,” Toriel warned. “This is your final warning.”

Link followed.

“You want to leave so badly?” she finally said, back facing Link. “Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself… prove to me that you are strong enough to survive.”

They entered the Battle Plane, where Link immediately mashed the Spare button.

“What are you doing, my child?”

Small bursts of fire magic fell from the top of the white box in a frequent fashion. Link did his best to avoid them. He was scratched here and there, but there was nothing worth crying about. Toriel merely looked through him, preparing a magical attack. At least it wasn’t Din’s Fire. That would probably be unavoidable. The Hylian spared her again. The goat monster waved a hand, as several small fireballs formed in its path. They then launched themselves at Link, but he just barely managed to get out of the way in time.

He Spared her again.

“What are you doing?”

The fireballs she was slinging began to actively avoid him.

He Spared her again.

“Attack or run away!” Toriel demanded, repeating her previous ‘attack’.

Link Spared her again.

“What are you trying to prove?”

“That I’m not a murderer,” Link whispered, too softly for her to hear him. Again, he Spared Toriel.

“Fight me or leave!”

He Spared her again.

“Stop it.”

He Spared her again.

“Stop looking at me that way,” Toriel demanded.

Link Spared her yet again. This was getting repetitive.

“Go away!” Toriel urged.

Link refused, and Spared her for the umpteenth time.

Toriel said nothing, but her expression gave her away. She clearly didn’t want to fight him anymore.

“I know you want to go home, but… please… go upstairs now. I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but… We can have a good life here.”

“Maybe,” Link agreed. “But… no. I can’t. I have people waiting for me to come back. To come… home. I can’t…”

“Oh, Link… ha ha… pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child.”

“You saved me from the flower,” Link pointed out helpfully. “That’s a success in my book.”

“Maybe you are right,” Toriel relented with a sigh. “You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It wouldn’t be right for you to grow up in a place… like this…”

Link sighed, walking closer to Toriel.

“My expectations… my loneliness… my fear… For you, my child, I will put them aside. If you truly wish to leave the Ruins… I won’t stop you. However, I must ask that you do not return. I hope you understand.”

She pulled Link into a warm hug. For just a second, he understood that esoteric sensation of wholeness that came with having a real family. Just for a second.

Only one.

“Goodbye, my child,” the goat monster said, walking past Link and away from the gateway. It was only now that he noticed how similar the insignia on said door looked to the Hylian noble crest.

“Goodbye, Toriel,” Link echoed, slowly walking towards the door and stepping through it silently.

The shadows of the Ruins slowly gave way to a new light. And what other light would it be than a patch of sun, illuminating a lonely patch of grass.

Which was inhabited by a single golden flower.

With a particularly infuriated face.

“Clever. Verrrryyy clever,” Flowey said, a mocking expression forming between its petals. “You think you’re really smart, don’t you? In this world, it’s kill or be killed. But you already knew that. It’s the same way on the surface now, isn’t it? So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee… But don’t act so co*cky. I know what you did .”

Its expression had long since warped into a demonic smile. The smile of someone who knew exactly what was going on.

“What are you talking about?” Link demanded.

“You murdered her,” Flowey revealed, face twisting into a near-perfect imitation of Toriel’s. “And then you went back, because you regretted it. Ha ha ha ha… you naive idiot. Do you think you are the only one with that power? The power to reshape the world purely by your own determination? The ability to play God! The ability to Save and Reset! I thought I was the only one with that power! But… I can’t Save anymore. Apparently your desires for this world overrule mine. Well well. Enjoy that power while you can. I’ll be watching…”

The flower’s face morphed into an even more demonic grin, complete with razor-sharp teeth and a monstrous laugh. Then it sunk back into the ground, allowing Link to go forwards. The Hero, however, remained frozen. The flower remembered where Toriel hadn’t. Why Flowey? It was like if Majora had remembered the events of the previous cycles whenever Link played the Song of Time! He shuddered. Hopefully, nobody else had this property.

Shoulders sagging beneath the weight of his upcoming endeavour, Link walked out of the grove and through the door, prepared for whatever the Underground threw at him next.

And there go the Ruins! On to Snowdin!

Review Please!

Chapter 5: Feeling Down

Chapter Text

This is probably the part all of you have been waiting for.

RRRP:

Seeking7 (FF): I got most of the puns out of Link’s system by the end of last chapter; it was really just a one-time thing to hit some sort of quota. Sans will make up for that, though. Mettaton was a pain to write, just because I think Hotlands falls just a wee bit flat in terms of Undertale’s gameplay. Regarding the second part of your review, that was a plothole. It has since been fixed.

MarkOfThree (FF): I hope he doesn’t either!

Swordmouse (AO3): Thanks!

Supure29 (FF): I don’t remember where, but I listened to this awesome Bonetrousle remix that worked in some track from Mother 3… you know, the one that’s Japan-exclusive. Anyhow, I prefer my skeletons when they’re Eternal (haha inside jokes). I can’t want to see it too!

Chapter 4

The frigid air battered Link’s tiny form as the exit from the Ruins slammed shut. The snow beneath his feet clung stubbornly to his boots, and thickly covered the entire ground. It appeared that he was now located in a dense, wintry forest, which was certainly strange to think about. He was somewhere inside of the ground. How was there enough space in this cave to house these massive trees?

Behind him, the snowy woods abruptly cut off to reveal the cracked purple facade of the Ruins, giving a stark and clashing contrast to the path ahead. Link wrapped his arms around himself to preserve body heat and set off, trying to ignore the freezing chill of his exposed legs.

The forest was dark and shadowy, probably from the lack of sun here in the depths. It added an aura of foreboding to the place. To compensate, Link made sure to make no sound as he moved. It was a subconscious reaction, one that he couldn’t stop if he actively tried.

Something snapped behind him, and Link whirled around with his sword drawn, to see a cracked twig lying on the middle of the path. He’d been sure to avoid stepping on it. Something was following him. Something he couldn’t see was stalking him. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to have the Lens of Truth right now!

Keeping his sword out, Link slowly returned to his solemn trek, each erstwhile echo sending jolts of fear crawling down his spine. Despite the frigid temperatures, he could feel a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

A bird cawed in the distance.

And time stopped.

The Hylian collapsed to his knees, ignoring the cold as a throbbing wail emanated throughout his brain. No. He couldn’t be having a panic attack here. Not now. He’d get frostbite.

Evidently, his psyche wasn’t listening to his reasonable complaints, and shoveled more and more adrenaline into his system. He dropped his sword and clutched his hands violently to his head, trying to blot out the painful noise that existed nowhere but within his mind. Salty tears squeezed out of his eyes as Link tried to regain control of his own faculties, which were at this point starting to numb due to the cold. He was vaguely aware that he was hyperventilating violently, but he couldn’t care less. He was suddenly transported back to Snowpeak in Termina, in the great battle against the maniacal Goht. Link drew his blade but accidentally allowed it to slide out of his grasp. He hardly noticed; he was too busy pivoting in every direction to figure out which direction the boss was coming from. He saw nothing save a bridge over a chasm, with some massive, shoddily constructed wooden thing hanging over it.

His acute hearing picked up the distinctive crunching sound of footsteps in the snow behind him. The Hylian did not think, but merely reacted, scrambling to pick up the hilt of his blade from the snow. The sweat that had accumulated on his fingers, however, meant that the pommel repeatedly slipped right between his fingers.

“Human,” a deep and powerful voice said from directly behind Link, causing the youth to seize up in terror, save for the violent shaking of his hands. He could feel the breath of the other figure on the nape of his neck, sending shivers all over his body. “Don’t you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.”

Still panicking, the Hylian slowly rotated to see his aggressor. Or at least, see their outstretched hand, which was unnaturally white and spindly-- at least for a human. To be quite honest, it looked like the bones Link had seen in the Royal Family’s tomb, all that time ago. The rest of the figure’s body was wreathed in the shadows of the forest. Shakily, Link brought his hand into the grip of the monster and squeezed just a little, making sure that he could easily disentangle himself if needed.

An oddly wet farting sound filled the woods, and Link, whose nerves had already been severely aggravated from his earlier panic attack, completely overreacted. His left hand finally wrapped around his sword hilt, but the Hero was too busy scrambling away out of fear to do anything with it, instead slipping and falling butt-first into a snowbank.

Toriel was right, he thought. I’m going to die.

The impromptu snowbank dive had fortunately brought Link somewhat back to his senses. The dash of cold finally fully shook him from his traumatic memories, and he could feel his heart rate slowing, his breathing calming, and his thoughts organizing. From this angle, he could finally see who he had been talking to. It was a monster about his height, but that was where the similarities ended. This fellow had no skin or muscle; his entire body was made up of bone. A permanent grin was etched into his face, and he was wearing a blue hoodie, baggy pants, and a pair of slippers.

“Easy, kid. It’s just the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick,” the skeleton explained. “It’s always funny…”

Link kept his expression perfectly schooled. No emotion was present on his face as he shook snow out of his hair. “Uh… that’s your cue to laugh. Or emote at all…”

The swordsman discarded his neutral stare in exchange for giving the skeleton a fierce glare. “It’s hard to laugh when the person making the joke just spent a minute torturing you,” he grumbled.

“No harm intended, bud. Anyways, I’m Sans. Sans the skeleton.”

“Link…” Link replied, extricating himself from the snowbank.

“Y’know, I’m actually supposed to be on the watch for humans right now…” Sans revealed, causing Link to tense up and grip the hilt of his blade a bit tighter. “But I don’t really care about capturing anybody.”

Link relaxed slowly, sheathing his blade. He didn’t need to worry about Sans killing him… for now.

“Now my brother, Papyrus… he’s a real human-hunting fanatic. Hey, actually, I think that’s him over there.”

Link lowered his eyebrows mirthlessly.

“I’ve got an idea. Go through this gate thingy. Yeah, just walk right through. My bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.”

Link raised an eyebrow. If this ‘Papyrus’ had no idea what he was doing, then maybe he’d be okay. The human and skeleton walked across the bridge into a small clearing with a lamp that appeared to be a dead ringer for Link himself. “Quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.”

“I’m fine,” Link replied. “I am not sacrificing my dignity like--”

And then a Stalfos marched into the clearing. Time seemed to freeze for Link. He took that time to assess his chances. Stalfos always had swords and shields, and often knew how to use them. It was very infrequently that Link ever managed to get away from a Stalfos without at least a few injuries, even as an adult. All Link had to combat the Stalfos was his pathetically short Kokiri Sword, and he was also missing a shield. Long story short, the Hylian came to the conclusion that he was very much boned.

With a quiet scream, Link threw himself behind a nearby bush and pressed himself as far into the snow as he could. Despite the fear consuming his brain, he could easily hear the conversation between the two skeletons outside.

“WHAT’S HIS PROBLEM?” Not Sans asked.

“Dunno, Pap,” Sans replied. “He’s new here. Maybe he was scared of your uniform.”

“AH, YES. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS RATHER THREATENING… BUT TELL HIM TO FEAR NOT! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL NOT HARM A SINGLE HAIR ON HIS HEAD! ANYHOO, SANS! IT HAS BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T… RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING!?!”

“Staring at this lamp,” Sans replied. “It’s really cool. Do you want to look?”

“NO! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!” Papyrus, evidently, argued. Link peered out from over the top of the bush to see the monster that he had mistaken for a Stalfos earlier. No… it was a Stalfos. Same build, same facial structure… all it was missing was a sword and a shield. And to lose that silly armor. “WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE? I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!”

Each word was accentuated by the stamp of Papyrus’s boots on the ground. He really wanted to kill Link, didn’t he?

“THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS…” the tall skeleton continued. “WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT! RECOGNITION! I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO BE MY FRIEND! I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING!”

“Hmm… maybe this lamp will help you,” Sans said. Link glared at him from over the top of the hedge.

“SANS! YOU AREN’T HELPING, YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!”

“Hey, take it easy. I’ve got a ton of work done today. A skele-ton.”

Sans grinned even wider while winking, as a comedically appropriate drumbeat emanated through the forest. Link found it rather funny, but he couldn’t make a sound, lest the Stalfos hear him and murder him.

“SANS!” Papyrus roared, evidently unenthused.

“‘Sides, I don’t ‘boondoggle’. I bone-doggle.”

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“Come on, you’re smiling.”

I AM AND I HATE IT! SIGH… WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH TO GET SOME RECOGNITION…”

“Wow. Sounds like you’re really working yourself… down to the bone.”

Sans shrugged while grinning so hard that his smile almost beat out his own face in raw width.

“UGH I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES! AS FOR YOUR WORK… PUT A LITTLE MORE BACKBONE INTO IT! NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!”

The sound of boots compressing snow filled the clearing. Hesitantly, Link peeked out of the bush to see that Papyrus had left.

Then he came back just to say “HEH!” before leaving again. A second of silence passed.

“Okay, you can come out now,” Sans said, but he was hardly expecting Link to full-on tackle him in fury.

“Sans, what the hell! Are you trying to get me killed?! Your brother wants me dead!” Link screamed, jostling the skeleton about.

“Easy, kid. Pap wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Sans attested. “Now, my bro would really like to see a human… could you kindly…”

His eyes disappeared entirely, leaving nothing but empty black sockets in their wake.

“Could you keep pretending to be a human for a while? Pap would really appreciate it.”

Link blinked, disentangling himself. What was that supposed to mean?

“Thanks a million,” Sans said, and the conversation was over. His eyes were back to normal, as if nothing had happened.

“Uh… sorry for tackling you…” Link apologized. If Sans was surprised, he did an excellent job of hiding it. “I just… I thought you were trying to kill me.”

“Nah,” Sans replied. “Tibia honest, Pap’s just been down recently. He’d be really happy to see a human, is all. Anyways, I’ll see you up ahead.”

The skeleton then proceeded to walk away. In the opposite direction. Link nodded wordlessly and walked out of the area in the direction that was actually forwards, taking a quick stop to use a Save point. The road diverged in two directions at this point, and Link knew not which direction to take. He decided to take a look inside of a nearby box, which would apparently appear later. Inside of it was a pair of gloves, which Link took and put on. They fit almost perfectly. A bit snug, due to all of the calluses that covered his hands.

The left path-- that is, left to Link-- was empty save a fishing rod. Attached to the hook was a picture of an unfamiliar monster with a series of numbers and the words ‘Call Me!’ on it. Link didn’t know what that meant, and thusly ignored it. It probably had something to do with his phone.

After pointedly ignoring some monster with a massive icicle for a hat, Link entered a tight path through the woods. At the other end, he could see the two skeleton brothers chatting with each other. Link gulped, visions of skeletal combatants with massive, jagged bronze swords filling his vision. He forced himself to calm down. He had borne the Triforce of Courage, why was he being so cowardly? It was just a skeleton.

“SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE,” Papyrus began, before throwing an errant glance at Link. Surprise visibly appeared on his features, in the form of a comical exclamation point. The taller skeleton turned back to Sans, who at that exact moment had turned to look at Link. The positions reversed, with Sans looking at Papyrus and Papyrus looking at Link. Then it flopped again. And again, their rates constantly increasing until Link began to feel dizzy just looking at them. Eventually, the duo abruptly stopped, facing towards him.

“SANS!” Papyrus whispered, extremely loudly. “OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN?!?!?!?”

He turned around, its eyeless gaze locking onto a rock a few feet to the side of Link. The stouter skeleton followed his brother’s gaze and shot a somehow sheepish glance towards the Hylian.

“Uh… actually I think that’s a rock.”

“OH…” Papyrus said, visibly deflating.

“Hey. What’s that next to the rock?” Sans pointed out.

Papyrus finally took note of Link. “OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?”

“Yes.”

“OH MY GOD!!! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I’M GONNA… I’LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!!!”

Link coughed politely. This was very much not typical Stalfos behavior. He’d run his sword through too many of them to not pick up on what a Stalfos often did. Papyrus’s antics were, well, nothing like that. He was grandiose and over the top, whereas Stalfos didn’t much care as long as they were killing things. Then again, being sealed underground would obviously change Stalfos psychology… maybe this was just how it coped?

“HUMAN!” Papyrus called, causing Link to cringe as memories of fighting hordes of those evil skeleton warriors filled his mind. Something told him that that wouldn’t be going away so easily. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN… I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S NEXT.”

“They--”

“IN ANY CASE,” Papyrus continued, not letting Link get a word in edgewise. “CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!”

He marched away, leaving Link and Sans alone on the path.

“Well, that went well,” Sans commented.

The ex-Hero brought a hand to his mouth pensively. “Nope, still terrified.”

“Ah, don’t sweat it, kid. I’ll keep an eyesocket out for ya.”

Sans then chased after Papyrus, and Link soon followed suit. The quicker he could get this over with, the quicker he could get back to searching for Navi.

!0*0!

‘Absolutely no moving!’ a sign read. Link opted to ignore it, promenading directly past a sentry station. He froze when a suspicious-looking dog slowly and comically rose from below the platform of the station, eyeing every possible place with equal fervor.

“Did something move?” he asked himself. “Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things… If something was moving… for example, a human… I’ll make sure it never moves again!”

Link was sucked into the Combat Plane. ‘Doggo blocks the way’, the bottom caption read. His options in the Act menu were Check and Pet. He chose to Pet the guardsman.

“Don’t you move an inch!” Doggo demanded, Link’s white box filling with an oddly blue knifeblade. It seemed to correspond to the dual knives that Doggo was wielding. Link remembered that Doggo couldn’t see anything that wasn’t moving, so maybe… blue things could be avoided by keeping his soul perfectly still?

He tried it, and to his joy, the ploy worked. Doggo became less suspicious, as indicated by the lower caption. He pet the dog again.

“What! I’ve been pet! Pat? Pot? Put? What’s the past participle of pet?”

“Petted,” Link answered, Sparing the dog.

“S-s-something pet me… and answered my question… without moving,” Doggo summed up. “I’m going to need some dog treats for this…”

The dog monster then retreated out of sight, into the sentry station. Link stood still for another few seconds before deciding that it was safe to leave.

“Oh, hey Sans,” Link greeted upon seeing the stocky skeleton.

“Hey, kid. There’s probably something I should tell you,” Sans replied. “My brother has a very special attack.”

Link couldn’t tell why he knew that Sans’ words were blue, but he figured he could safely bet that the monster was going to explain the blue attack.

“You mean the one where you stop moving?” Link summed up.

“Y… yeah, actually. How’d you know that?”

“I had a run in with one of the sentries. He can’t see anything that was moving, and his attacks were blue. Process of elimination,” Link answered. “He’s having an existential crisis right now. I pet him without moving.”

Sans seemed surprised. “Really…” He closed his eyesockets, seeming pensive for a moment before re-opening them. “Alright, kid. Paps is just up ahead.”

“Thanks,” Link answered before moving forwards. Unfortunately, there happened to be a massive ice patch right in front of the Hylian, and he nearly did an accidental backflip due to the lack of friction. After recovering from his impromptu slide to the other side of the ice patch, the Hero glared at Sans. “You knew that was going to happen, didn’t you?”

Sans only smiled the same way he always did.

Realizing that he was going to get nothing out of the skeleton, Link traveled north, where he found a lone snowman.

“Hello,” the snowman greeted, startling the human. “I am a snowman. I’ve always wanted to see the world… but I cannot move. If you’d be so kind, traveller, please take a piece of me and bring it very far away.”

In answer, Link gingerly extricated a clump of snow from the snowman’s middle segment, his new gloves keeping his fingers from freezing.

He knew where to go because he could hear Papyrus berating Sans from half a mile away. Choruses of “YOU’RE SO LAZY” and “YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT” could be heard.

“I think that’s called sleeping, Pap,” Sans defended.

“EXCUSES, EXCUSES!” the taller of the two chastised before taking note of Link. “OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES!”

“Hylian,” Link corrected.

“IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!”

Link said nothing. He knew the skeleton was trying to make a joke of some kind, but he didn’t actually get it.

“YES, HUMAN! THIS IS THE INVISIBLE ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS HERE ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP!”

Papyrus procured a perfect sphere from somewhere within his suit. “SOUND LIKE FUN?”

“I think this falls more under torture than a puzzle, but sure,” Link agreed, stepping into the maze. Immediately, Papyrus was electrocuted by the ball, which was still being held in his hands. His features became a charred black before quickly reverting back to normal. Link exhaled, partly in amusem*nt and mostly in exasperation.

“SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO?” Papyrus demanded.

“I think the human has to hold the orb,” Sans imparted.

“OH, OKAY,” Papyrus assented, walking through the maze and leaving a very obvious path via his bootprints. “HOLD THIS PLEASE!”

Catching the orb, Link followed the footprints until he came to the last turn. Then, remembering that Papyrus just wanted to be happy, the Hero of Time intentionally ran into the walls of the maze and got zapped. Checking himself, he noticed that it had done about ten damage.

“NYEH HEH HEH! TAKE THAT, HUMAN!” Papyrus declared.

“Okay,” Link assented, finishing the maze.

“INCREDIBLE, YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL! YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY… TOO EASILY! HOWEVER! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE SO EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!”

Papyrus then moonwalked out of the area and across a slender ice bridge, presumably to the next area.

“Hey, thanks for that, kid,” Sans said. “It looks like Pap is having fun. By the way, did you see that weird outfit he’s wearing? We made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. He hasn’t worn anything else since… keeps calling it his ‘Battle Body’. Man, isn’t my brother cool?”

“Don’t mention it,” Link replied. “Thanks for, you know, not killing me as soon as I left the Ruins. You probably could have.”

Sans let out a little chuckle. “Tibia honest, I don’t find this killing business very humerus.”

The bone puns were funny the first time around, but at this point they were starting to get stale. The Hero of Time just rolled his eyes and carried on. Again, he cursed how cold it was, as well as his lack of pants.

Speaking of frigid, a monster stood near some kind of cart by the edge of a cliff. “I don’t understand why these aren’t selling…” they groaned. “It’s the perfect weather for something cold…” They then turned to see Link, just as he processed the vendor’s masculine tone. “OH! A customer! Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It’s the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15 G!”

Link checked his balance, seeing how much Gold he had. Wow, he had a lot more than he expected. Then again, how could he not, given how monsters insisted on giving him more G whenever he Spared them?

“Sure,” the Hero replied, forking over the requisite gold. “Actually, I’ll get two.”

“Oh, wow! Here you go! Have a super-duper day!”

Now thirty G lighter and two Nice Creams heavier, Link proceeded to ignore the massive snowball sitting on an ice field to his right, instead opting to march directly past Sans. This, unfortunately, turned out to be a dead end with two sentry stations by it. Link didn’t want a repeat of Doggo if he could afford it, so the Hylian opted to find another route of egress. Eventually, he found an ice bridge to the south flanked by frosted evergreen trees.

And Sans and Papyrus.

“HUMAN!” Papyrus greeted, obscenely loudly. “I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR…”

Papyrus looked around in confusion.

“SANS! WHERE’S THE PUZZLE!” Papyrus roared.

“It’s right there. On the ground,” the shorter skeleton explained. Indeed, there was a piece of paper set on the frozen floor. “Trust me. There’s no way they can get past this one.”

Link hesitantly approached the piece of paper, wary of anything that Sans may have set up. The paper could be booby trapped, or only the first piece to a much grander puzzle, or… or nothing at all, as closer inspection revealed. In fact, it appeared to be the ‘Monster Kidz Word Search’, featuring an ice cube with a dog’s face asking Link to help it find the words scattered throughout a crazed, schizophrenic mess of letters. He set down the paper, looked around for any signs of any deeper meaning to this at all, and found nothing. His mind came alive with speculation. He needed clarification. The Hylian approached the increasingly irate Papyrus, brain brimming with questions.

“SANS! THAT DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” the Stalfos reprimanded.

“Whoops. I knew I should have used today’s crossword instead.”

“WHAT? CROSSWORD! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION, JUNIOR JUMBLE IS OBVIOUSLY THE HARDEST.”

Link immediately burst into raucous laughter, much to the surprise of Papyrus. He had over thought that so much...

“What? Really, dude? That easy-peasy word scramble? That’s for baby bones.”

“UN. BELEIVABLE,” Papyrus groaned. “HUMAN! STOP LAUGHING AND SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!”

Link finally got his gratuitous guffaws under control. “I, hah, hah… have no idea what either of those are. Well, I mean, I know the crossword, but only because I just saw it… but I can’t do it anyway, because I don’t have anything to write with… I’d need both sides of the argument to be able to make an informed decision.”

“WELL… IF YOU HAVE NOT TRIED THE JUMBLE… THEN IT MUST BE HARDER THAN THE CROSSWORD, FOR YOU SIMPLY CANNOT COMPREHEND IT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WINS AGAIN! NYEH! HEH! HEH!”

With that, the lanky monster marched out of the clearing, and Link followed suit. Strangely, Papyrus was not present in the next area, although his handiwork certainly was. There was a small table with a plate of brown and red tentacles heaped onto it placed on top. Next to it was a fork, and on another nearby table was a strange box that looked vaguely similar to the fridge in Toriel’s home. Did it perform the same purpose? Evidently not, as all of the buttons were labeled “Spaghetti.”

Link then noticed the scrap of paper next to the tentacles. He picked it up, noticing Papyrus’s signature at the bottom, before reading.

“HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI!” it read. Interesting; the tentacles must have been this so-called spaghetti. “(LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU WILL BE SO BUSY EATING IT, THAT YOU WON’T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN’T PROGRESSING!) NYEH HEH HEH, PAPYRUS.”

Link shook his head, suddenly all too aware of the growling of his stomach. He hadn’t eaten since that morning, in Toriel’s house, and even then it was just a bowl of milk with corn flakes sprinkled into it. Now that he thought about it, that was at least seven hours and a Reset ago. Despite the protests of his body, the Hero pushed forwards.

The next clearing was rather large, but there was a sign right in front of it. “Warning: Dog Marriage,” it read. Confused, Link ignored it, only to be confronted by an average-sized dog bearing a massive shield and a pomer-granite sword. The Act menu revealed five different Pet options. Link snorted, selecting one. Lesser Dog panted a little and… got taller? Link couldn't really pay much attention, he was busy running from the significantly smaller white dog flinging itself at him in what he had creatively dubbed the Battle Box.

The dog co*cked its head to one side. Link Pet the dog again. The text remarked that Lesser Dog was a good dog. And yes, the monster was most certainly getting taller; that is, its neck was. This process was repeated a few times, until Lesser Dog’s neck was taller than the rest of its entire body. By that point, Link wasn’t even getting attacked anymore, as his opponent was too mindlessly excited to really commit to fighting him. Sighing, Link decided to spare the poor thing, receiving twenty gold as payment for a good petting session.

Down south was a large, conspicuous clump of perfectly white snow adjacent to a wall of floor spikes. Link waded through it, expecting to find a switch, but instead uncovering a map of the plateau he was in, complete with a red X in the top-right. Examining that spot revealed a switch over there, which lowered the spikes.

The Hero crossed a small wooden bridge and would have continued onwards, had he not been stopped by a pair of axe-wielding dog monsters wearing hoods.

“What’s that smell?” said one, taking a long and wet sniff inches from Link’s nose. The Hylian could only glare. He’d washed at Toriel’s house, thank you very much!

“More accurately, where’s that smell?” the other corrected, waving its snout wildly.

“If you’re a smell, identify yoursmellf!” they demanded in unison before proceeding to search every square inch of the area that wasn’t where Link was standing. Remembering his experience with Doggo, the human stood perfectly still, believing that they couldn’t see him.

“Here’s that smell,” the hooded monsters said, returning to Link’s spot. “It makes me want to eliminate…”

Ew, Link thought.

“... eliminate you!” the dogs crowed, doffing their hoods and staring directly at Link before dragging him into the Combat Plane, having been assaulted by the Dogi.

Link perused the Act menu, again lamenting his options. He could choose between Roll Around, Pet, and Re-sniff. Thinking that it had worked before, Link tried Pet. Nothing happened, and Dogamy and Dogaressa’s combined attack hit him right in the soul.

Grumbling, Link tried Rolling Around, dropping to the freezing earth and masking his scent. Ah, he understood. Now he didn’t smell like a Hylian… er, human. Now, he had to get the dogs to re-sniff him, and maybe they’d let him go?

His ploy worked, but not as well as he’d have liked. Dogamy and Dogaressa now believed that he was a lost, weird puppy, but still refused to let him go. Shrugging, he tried Pet.

“Dogs can pet other dogs?!” Dogaressa said in abject astonishment. “This is… Dogamy, think of… ooh… Thank you, little weird puppy!”

They then let Link Spare them, giving him 40 gold as a bonus. Emotionlessly, Link went on his way. The following clearing held a large field of deceptively tall rocks, that the Hylian couldn’t push or pull, or otherwise cross. He’d have to go around them. Above the rocks was a button that seemed oddly identical to the ones native to the Ruins, as well as a sign. The post instructed Link to turn each X, visible within the rock maze, into an O by standing on it, and then pressing the switch. Link did so, rather simply, and a wall of iron spikes slid downwards, allowing Link to progress. Papyrus was standing beyond the former barrier, staring off into the distance with his back faced to Link, in uncharacteristic silence. Then, apparently hearing the loud crunching of the Hylian’s boots, which were hardly designed for this deep snow, approaching the lowered spikes. Link had learned just how bad his footwear was at keeping him warm in Snowhead Temple. The whole place was surrounded by knee-deep snow that chilled him down to his very core.

“WHAT?” Papyrus said, confoundedly. “HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY… IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?”

His skeletal features morphed into a hopeful grin. Link grimaced, reimagining significantly more sinister smiles on the faces of the several Stalfos who had nearly killed him across the course of his escapades in Hyrule. Shivering, the Hero shoved those thoughts from his mind before anything more could come oozing out of that very large and insidious corner of his mind. He was supposed to be courageous! These things shouldn’t affect him! Right?

Right?

“WELL, HUMAN?”

“Huh?” Link said, startled. “Oh, uh, I didn’t… actually eat it. I’ve never u--”

“REALLY?” Papyrus exclaimed, astonished. “WOWIE… YOU RESISTED THE FLAVOR OF MY HOME-COOKED PASTA… JUST SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME?”

“Uh, sure?”

“FRET NOT, HUMAN! I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, WILL COOK YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!”

With that declaration out of the way, Papyrus departed, Link following close behind.

“YOU KNOW, MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY,” Papyrus stated randomly, going off on a massive tangent. “HOW SADDENING… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM! NYEH HEH HEH!”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Link mumbled, pushing past the lanky bone monster towards the next puzzle. It was shaped in a way that was vaguely reminiscent of Papyrus’s skull.

“HUMAN!” the aforementioned skeleton interrupted. “HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE.”

Link brought a palm to his head. “And now you don’t know the solution, huh?”

“AND AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND!” Papyrus complained. “BUT WORRY NOT, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! IN FACT, I KNOW THE SECRET ANSWER TO THIS PUZZLE! I JUST… HAVE TO FIND IT! IN THE MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY SOLVING THE PUZZLE YOURSELF. THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED!”

Throughout this proclamation, Papyrus’ cape drifted dramatically in the wind. Finding it impossible to argue with the skeleton, Link took a gander at the Papyrus Puzzle. The real problem, he supposed, was the X trapped between two other X’s and two of those immovable snow mountains. He couldn’t get inside without stepping on an X twice, resulting in his failure. It was only after some time that the Hero noticed that there was a path of egress lined up perfectly for him to solve the puzzle. Eagerly, the Hylian set to work, first activating the X of Papyrus’s eye before doubling back and turning his entire puzzle mouth into O’s. From there, he took a right and traced the edge of Papyrus’ skull, before exiting via the back of his mouth and wrapping all the way around to press the button.

“WOW! YOU SOLVED IT!” the Stalfos lauded. “AND YOU DID IT ALL WITHOUT MY HELP… INCREDIBLE! I’M IMPRESSED!”

Link looked down self-consciously. He wasn’t used to praise like this. Most people who talked to him seemed to either want him dead or wanted him to feel worthless. One of the two, no in-between. For that reason, he had no idea what to do in this scenario, instead melting into a heightened sense of tenseness.

“YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO! THEREFORE, I AM SURE YOU WILL LOVE THE NEXT PUZZLE! IT MIGHT EVEN BE TOO EASY FOR YOU! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEHEH!”

And he was gone. Link followed, having swallowed his fear, wandered past the formerly standing spike barrier, before being interrupted by none other than Sans, who the Hero was absolutely certain wasn’t standing there an instant before.

“... Good job on solving it so quickly,” Sans congratulated. “You didn’t even need my help, which is great, ‘cause I love doing absolutely nothing. And, one more thing?”

“Yeah?” Link replied. The ex-Kokiri had come to trust Sans throughout the short time he had known the short skeleton. The bond that he and Papyrus had was so natural and caring that Link found himself envying him.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing,” Sans said, his voice devoid of his normal humor and his eyes reverting to nothing but black orbs. “But you better hope you play it right, or you’re going to have a very bad time.”

And then he was gone. Like he’d never been there in the first place. It was obvious that Sans hardly trusted Link, and he didn’t blame him; to be quite frank, Link wouldn’t have trusted himself in this situation. It’s not every day a sword-wielding human comes marching out of the Ruins and has a panic attack the first time they meet him. And so, Link’s faith in Sans remained unshaken.

He did the only thing he could really ever do.

Link pushed on, fueled by Courage.

!0*0!

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to run that by me again,” Link complained.

“VERY WELL, HUMAN!” Papyrus agreed jovially. “RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM!”

Okay. Red like the lava in Death Mountain. Don’t walk on it, Link reminded himself, or he’d quickly burn to death.

“YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU!”

Yellow meant pain. Yellow like the Triforce. The whole point of his first adventure.

“GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM… YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER!”

Green like Kokiri Forest, and the garb Mido, his torturer, had always worn.

“ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL NICE.”

Orange for oranges.

“BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM IN THEM ALL YOU LIKE, BUT… IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES, THE PIRANHAS WILL BITE YOU.”

Blue for water. If he was just on an orange tile, fish would attack him like Ruto had once tried to get married to him.

“ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE… THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU!”

Water conducts electricity, like how there were electric enemies in Jabu-Jabu’s Belly and the Great Bay Temple.

“PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE!”

Purple was slippery like ice with lavender frozen into it, and Ruto was allergic.

“FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE.”

He didn’t need anything to remember that.

“GOT IT THIS TIME, HUMAN!”

“Yup,” the Hero confirmed.

“GREAT! THEN THERE’S ONE LAST THING… THE PUZZLE WILL ALSO BE COMPLETELY RANDOM! WHEN I PULL THE SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY…”

Papyrus proceeded to slap the lever protruding from the strange metal box adjacent to him, which was covered in a massive array of dials and gizmos that Link didn’t even begin to comprehend. The area just ahead of him, which had previously been a collection of differently shaded gray tiles, began to flash different colors with increasing frequency, to the point where Link couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

After some time, it abruptly settled on a row of pink with red tiles flanking it. There was literally no way to fail the puzzle… if it even was a puzzle. Papyrus stared at the scene in front of him, unblinking, not comprehending, before awkwardly rotating as he drifted out of the area. Sans, who had been standing silently next to his brother the entire time, remained.

Link walked past him and entered another sentry station. It was surrounded by massive frozen sculptures of… dogs with incredibly long necks. In fact, there was no body attached to those necks, as the neck extended from the ground to the head, which was at times several times Link’s own height in the air. It reminded him of Lesser Dog, for some reason.

The sight filled him with Courage. He still wasn’t sure why that was happening, but… he was rolling with it. That courage let him Save, after all.

There you go.

Review Please!

Chapter 6: Wearing Down

Chapter Text

More Snowdin. Yeah. Also, if I didn’t respond to your review today, it’s because FF was acting up and I never got it.

RRRP:

MarkOfThree (FF): Yeah. The pink one is the only one that he doesn’t need anything to remember. Regarding your question, HL never really touches on it. I’ve seen people do it either way, and it works both ways. Comes down to personal preference, I guess.

Guest (FF): Thanks!

Swordmouse (AO3): Hopefully.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): Navi doesn’t directly appear in HL. Sans is his own beast, but he’s not the best skeleton. That title goes to Fane.

A person (AO3): Thanks!

Chapter 5

Link hated ice.

Maybe it was a combination of Snowhead and the Ice Cavern, but one thing was absolutely for certain: sliding puzzles were the bane of his existence. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d fallen off of that particular spillery platform, only for the Papyrus and Sans statues to mock him through their nonexistent icy eyes.

Regardless, he eventually slid in the correct pattern to switch all the X’s into O’s, and leave the area. He slid through a thickly forested area, which required him to constantly shake his rapidly freezing head in order to prevent snow from accumulating there. Grumbling, Link extricated himself from the woods and, finding himself at a crossroads, he decided to take the path to his right. Sans was there, but after their latest conversation, Link wasn’t quite sure the skeleton wanted to talk. Instead, he pushed past the skeleton, only to see Sans again… in front of him. Wasn’t he just behind him? That didn’t make sense! Link turned around, and Sans was still behind him. Checking once more revealed that the stocky skeleton was once again in front of him… how did he keep getting back and forth so fast? That was ridiculous!

“Shortcuts,” Sans revealed after being interrogated, but said nothing more on the subject. Sighing exasperatedly, Link turned away from him, only to be yanked into the Combat Plane by some kind of abstract decorated reindeer. Apparently, their name was Gyftrot. The Act menu offered him the choices of decorating, undecorating, and gifting. Link took the opportunity to observe his opponent, trying to figure out the optimal angle of attack. Was there… barbed wire ensnaring the monster’s antlers? Yeah, it was. That looked painful. Slowly, the Hero delicately unwound the wire from Gyftrot’s appendages, tossing it to the side.

“That’s a bit better,” the reindeer sighed as three wrapped presents appeared below him. One of them flashed blue before all three shuffled about. Then, when Link lost track of the one that had been blue for an instant, they surged upwards, colliding with Link’s Soul. Interestingly, he felt like he’d been sucker-punched. Was the Combat Plane merely an abstraction of the real world? He supposed that he could at least interact with it on both ends-- being hurt and helping Gyftrot-- so they might as well be at least closely linked.

Link continued to dismantle the shoddily constructed ornaments ‘decorating’ the monster, removing a box of raisins from its back and tearing a photo of a smug teen monster off of its antlers. After informing him that a weight had been lifted, Gyftrot allowed Link to be spared.

Unfortunately, there was nothing else in that lower area worth noting, barring the holes in the walls from which innumerable eyes stared back at him. He turned back and took the straight way, finding himself in a larger clearing littered with lumps of snow. One was called a ‘snow poff’. Another, however, was a snow poff. Conversely, there was yet another snow poff. But hark! Could this be a snow poff?

Evidently not, as the snow poff grew a tail as Link looked on. Then it sprouted a demure and tiny doggish face, which yipped excitedly at the sight of the Hylian. Link squatted into the fluffy snow to get a better look; judging by the past experiences in Snowdin, this little guy would probably be the next thing he’d have to fight.

The snow below him started shifting ominously. Link stood quickly, automatically moving a hand to his sword, as the dog’s body suddenly rose eight solid feet into the air, encased within a suit of flawlessly shiny steel armor. They entered the Combat Plane, and Link realized with a seething confusion that the dog’s dopish face was plastered literally everywhere on its body-- its spear, its gauntleted fist, et cetera. Link felt nauseated.

The Act button revealed his options: Check, Pet, Beckon, Ignore, and Play. Seeing how far the monster was to him, the Hero of Time tried the ‘Beckon’ option. Responding to his simple hand motion, the armored dog bounded towards him and practically tackled him under her ponderous weight. Then she attacked him with a sleeping dog in the center of the Battle Box, whose snoring careened into Link’s soul and dealt damage. He didn’t much care; he had yet to drop below eighty-five percent of his Health throughout his entire tenure in the Underground.

Link cautiously moved his hand towards Greater Dog’s head and nuzzled it softly, having chosen to pet it. She let out a joyful bark as she collapsed onto him, cutting off all circulation to his torso and legs. It was getting uncomfortable…

The Hylian continued to pet, causing his former opponent to roll over into him, arms and legs in the air as she nearly crushed his ribs. Seeing that the dog was finally contented, Link Spared. She got off of him, then got out of the armor, revealing that she was about the size of a snow poff. The tiny dog then licked Link across the cheek before diving headfirst back into her armor and walking away, tail swishing from where her head should have been.

Wiping the saliva off of his face because it was only accelerating his mounting frigidness, Link forced himself to continue, finding himself on a bridge that was-- thankfully-- devoid of snow. He took the opportunity to dump the excess out of his boots, which were thoroughly soaked. Shivering violently, and taking note of the extremely high distance between himself and the bottom of the canyon, Link walked across the bridge. Each step caused it to sway in the wind, increasing his mounting anxiety. After at least five minutes of carefully crossing the gap, Link made sight of Papyrus and Sans standing on the other side.

“HUMAN!” Papyrus greeted. “THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR! WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE!”

All around Link, various traps began to emerge from the gloom. There were six in total. A massive torch burned just below him, offering much-needed respite from the brutal cold. Far above him, a massive spiked ball hung, and swung to and fro. In front of it and below were two massive javelins, pointed straight at Link. Closest to the wall was an enormous cannon and a dog hanging from a rope by the stomach. Well, this was a departure from Papyrus’s normal puzzles. Maybe the Stalfos was trying to kill him after all.

“CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE I! AM! ABOUT! TO! DO IT!”

Nothing happened. A bead of sweat dropped from Link’s forehead. It was a waiting game. The Stalfos on the other side of the bridge wanted to catch him off guard. Well, Link wasn’t playing that game.

“Chop chop! Activate!” Link ordered, clapping his hands twice. Hopefully, that would set the trap in motio--

A massive wall of fire burst out of the bridge just inches from Link’s face, thankfully not burning or breaking the bridge. Ignoring Papyrus’ cries of “NO!”, the Hero of Time procured the barbed wire he’d liberated from Gyftrot and lassoed the spear that was diving towards his face. He swung the javelin around in his makeshift rope and slapped the other out of the way, preventing it from piercing his foot. The second spear bounced harmlessly into the mouth of the cannon, which then misfired and drilled a hole in the side of the mountain. The cannonball careened into the spikeball, which broke free of its chains and smashed into the bridge, snapping it as the wood groaned below. Recognizing that the bridge was falling apart beneath him, Link threw his javelin, which was still bound by the wire, into the chains that the spikeball had once sat in. It stuck, and held fast as the bridge fully collapsed. The barbed wire irritated Link’s hands, but the alternative was to brave the long fall below him. From the corner of his vision, he could make out Papyrus, who looked horrified. Sans just looked confused. Or at least, Link thought so; the shorter of the two always had that strange smile on. It reminded him of himself, somehow. The bridge fully gave out, leaving Link hanging onto the barbed wire, attached to the chain that had once contained the spikeball. All he had to do was reach the dog, then vault himself onto solid ground.

Link swung his body rhythmically, causing a bit of motion in the chain above him. That motion proceeded to increase in scale with each of Link’s movements. Eventually, the swinging was so accentuated that he could easily reach out and grab the rope with the dog in it. This action tightened the rope’s grip on said dog, which proceeded to bite Link’s arm as he switched to it.

The Hylian in question nearly let go of the rope in surprise and pain. He wasn’t surprised that it had happened. The shock factor was more due to the fact that that single bite had reduced his HP by a hundred and sixty, a number that was slowly decreasing due to the blood oozing out of his arm. Link switched his hold to his good arm and started to swing again, careful not to harm the dog-- and thus himself-- in the process. After judging that he could make it to the snowy cliff on top of which Papyrus and Sans were standing, Link swung one last time and let go.

Only for a familiar pain to blossom in his fingers.

The dog had bit him again, right as he let go.

It didn’t do much; by some lucky miracle, the dog’s canines had entered the gaps between his digits, and only the significantly smaller front teeth managed to make contact. However, the much more worrisome thing about this situation was that the bite had slowed Link’s momentum just enough to make him miss the edge of the cliff.

It happened in slow motion. Papyrus was already sprinting towards the cliffside, arms outstretched. He was probably going to push Link off, just to be certain of his death. Sans stood motionless, in the exact same position he had been in when Link arrived. As for the Hylian himself… he could see the snow lazily drift by his vision, only to switch to cold rock as he scrambled for purchase--

And something grabbed his wrist.

“FRET NOT, HUMAN!” a voice echoed. “FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE GOT YOU!”

Link looked up, and noticed with no lack of shock that it was none other than the Stalfos himself that had saved him. Any words that had been forming in his mouth were stolen away. Why had he been saved? Wasn’t the whole point of this-- the puzzles, taking his Soul-- to kill him? Why had Papyrus stopped that?

And to think, Link mused, that I hated him. Because of what he was. Because of what he reminded me of. But he’s not. He’s not a Stalfos. I don’t think he ever was.

But what makes a Stalfos a Stalfos, anyway?

“NYOO HOO HOO!” Papyrus wept as soon as Link had been pulled onto solid ground. “I AM SO SORRY, HUMAN. MAYBE… THAT TRAP WAS NOT THE BEST. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE MADE IT! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE FAIR, AND MY TRAPS ARE SUPERBLY COOKED!”

“Yup,” Sans agreed. “Maybe next year you’ll make something edible.”

“SANS!” Papyrus complained. “NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! ANYWAY, WHERE WAS I… AH YES! THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! ONCE YOU ARE CAPTURED, I SHALL DESTROY IT!”

As if on cue, the massive blowtorch-- the only part of the trap that remained standing-- sputtered to a halt, allowing the frigid wind to return in full force. It was only a few seconds later that Link realized that Papyrus was gone.

“Gee, kid, thanks,” Sans said gratefully. “For, y’know, going along with Pap’s puzzles.”

He said something else that Link felt like he should have heard, but didn’t. So he ignored it.

“Speaking of which, I don’t know what Pap’s gonna do now… you should study up on Blue attacks.”

“Thanks,” Link replied, before heading on his way. He was distracted by the trail of crimson on the snow beneath him. Sighing, Link procured an old bandage he’d picked up in the Ruins and wound it around his injuries. It would probably be for the best if nobody saw him bleeding.

A banner welcomed him to “Snowdin Town”. It really did look like a cozy little place. Cozy meant warm, and Link’s status as practically an ice cube absolutely lured into the first open door he could find.

Blessed warmth awaited him inside, and Link sighed in contentment as the chills left him. The human flexed his stiff fingers in order to coax heat into them as fast as he could.

“Chilly out there, huh?” the rabbit monster who owned the shop asked. Link had taken note of her as soon as he’d entered the room, but he was too busy recuperating from the freezing temperatures outside to engage in small talk.

“Y-y-yeah,” the Hylian replied through still-chattering teeth. “Quite.”

“So, kid, where are you from?” she inquired. “The capital? You don’t look like a tourist… are you here by yourself? I hope you don’t mind me asking; it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a new face ‘round these parts.”

“Uh…” Link said hesitantly. “Nobody’s with me… but I have Sans and Papyrus showing me around.”

“Oh, those two. Never an uninteresting day with them around. Well, if you ever need anything, Grillby’s has food, and the library has information. If you ever get tired, you can take a nap at the inn just a few paces down the way. My sister runs it, actually.”

“Oh,” Link commented intelligently. “How have things been in Snowdin?”

“Same old. Bit claustrophobic, but we all know deep down that freedom is coming, don’t we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day… that’s life, ain’t it?”

“You’re right,” Link said. “So, this is a shop? What do you sell?”

!0*0!

Link wasn’t feeling tired, so he opted to continue to explore Snowdin. He’d bought a blue scarf from the shop that thankfully protected his neck from the cold. He stumbled through the main square, engaging in idle conversation as little as possible, before finding himself next to a tree that vaguely reminded him of Gyftrot.

“Awful teens tormented a local monster by decorating its tree-like horns,” a monster explained when Link asked about the tree’s purpose. “So we started giving that monster presents to make it feel better. Now it’s a tradition to put presents under a decorated tree.” Indeed, several wrapped gifts resided under the evergreen’s brush, half of which were given by some ‘Santa’ person.

“Yo!” an armless monster child interrupted. “You’re a kid too, right?”

“Uh… no?” Link answered. Truth be told, he didn’t think of himself as a child… but he wasn’t an adult either.

“Oh, I should’ve known. You’re not wearing a striped shirt,” he said. Link opted to continue past the tree and, remembering the rabbit shopkeeper’s words, stepped into Grillby’s.

The entirety of Snowdin’s dog population was present; Dogamy and Dogaressa were standing by a table occupied by Greater Dog and Doggo. Meanwhile, Lesser Dog was sitting alone and playing some kind of card game with himself. And he was losing.

Link ignored the dogs, just in case they attacked him again, and set himself down on a stool by the bar. A well-dressed flame monster with fashionable glasses slid him a menu from the other side of the bar. The Hylian opened it and perused it for all of five seconds before realizing that he had no idea what more than half of the stuff was. Seriously, what was a ‘burger’? Or ‘fries’? And who was Eggs Benedict? Link decided on a simple sandwich. It was the only thing he recognized, back from when he had been living with Toriel. The fire monster looked at him silently for a few seconds, like he was saying something, before moving away.

“Grillbz says he’d offer you a glass of water, but he doesn’t touch the stuff,” the adjacent bird monster informed. Link nodded in understanding. A few moments later, Grillby returned with a massive sandwich that almost eclipsed Link’s head. To his surprise, he managed to eat a solid tenth of it. Wow. He must have been really hungry.

After convincing Grillby to let him keep the rest of his massive sandwich, Link departed and spent the next hour exploring Snowdin, although most of it was spent in the Library reading about how Souls worked. There was more of Asgore being bad at names, and Link even learned that humans couldn’t use magic. But that was straight-up wrong! He’d used magic countless times throughout his adventures! And hadn’t Toriel said that the humans sealed the monsters down here with some kind of spell?

Questions bounced around inside his head, but with no answer, so Link dropped it.

Having seen all that there was in Snowdin, excluding the interiors of some of the buildings, Link deemed it time to leave the only way that seemed to be available to him. Unfortunately, this coincided with a nasty wind that swept all of the snow up into a brutal blizzard, preventing Link from seeing much of anything.

A shape became visible through the elongated streaks of white. Papyrus. What sort of puzzle would he be presented here?

“HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE… THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER’S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. DESPITE, OF COURSE, THEIR OUTWARD STRANGENESS.”

Where was he going with this?

“THESE FEELINGS… THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!”

Link rolled his eyes, though he doubted Papyrus could see it through the haze.

“I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON’T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. I PITY YOU… LONELY HUMAN…”

Please. Papyrus was one to talk. The skeleton had no idea what Link had been through. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be pitying. It would be a level significantly higher than that.

“BUT WORRY NOT! YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR… NO. NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN’T BE YOUR FRIEND!”

“Why not?”

“YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM! POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! THAT’S PAPYRUS, THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!”

And with that, Link was pulled into the Combat Plane. Papyrus blocked the way. So, what were Link’s options? Perusing the ACT menu led to Check, Insult, and… the accursed Flirt option.

“You’re kidding me. I’m actually going to do this again…” Link groaned, pounding the last option. “So, you can’t be my friend. Why not be something a little… more…?” The Hylian made sure to accentuate that last syllable with a drawn out sigh, feeling more and more awkward by the minute. Fortunately, Papyrus didn’t seem to notice. Actually, was that a good thing?

“WHAT?! FL-FLIRTING? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS…” Papyrus concluded. “W-WELL! I’M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!”

“I’m going to level with you, I have zero redeeming qualities,” Link confessed. “But I could learn to make spaghetti.”

Papyrus’s eyes widened. ‘OH NO! YOU’RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS! I GUESS THIS MEANS I’LL HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. L-LET’S DATE LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!”

Link cursed internally. This entire mortifying ploy was completely wasted. Link was so distracted by his own failure that he didn’t even notice Papyrus’s attack sailing right past him. The attack never connected, despite Link’s lack of movement. Grumbling and stumped, Link merely selected Spare.

“SO YOU WON’T FIGHT,” Papyrus observed, dabbing some Bone Cologne behind his nonexistent ear. “THEN, LET’S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED BLUE ATTACK!”

Knowing exactly what to do, Link stood perfectly still as an ensemble of blue bones cascaded across the Battle Box. Because Link wasn’t moving, they didn’t harm him at all. Hopefully, the rest of the ‘fight’ would remain this easy.

Then he gained about thirty tons.

His Soul, which had normally never been affected by gravity, suddenly plummeted towards the bottom of the box, where a very short bone collided with it. Link took a whopping three damage, although he was too busy trying to adjust to his sudden weight change and new properties of his now blue Soul to really notice. He would have cared even less, but he was still heavily damaged from the stupid dog bite from earlier.

“YOU’RE BLUE NOW,” Papyrus informed, a sentiment which was accentuated by the dialog box. Link’s Soul, which was normally free-floating, was now affected by gravity. And blue. At least he could jump. “THAT’S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH… HEH!”

Something shifted. There was suddenly a wholly different aura surrounding this entire fight. This couldn’t end well.

“HMM… I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR…” Papyrus mused, ignoring the Hero of Time’s Spare as a triplet of bones slowly drifted across the screen. His opponent deftly hopped over each one, mashing the Spare Button again.

“WHAT! I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!” Papyrus tried to argue, dabbing what the dialog box called ‘MTT-brand Bishie Cream’ behind his ear. This only served to prove that the skeleton was, indeed, thinking about that date thing. After Papyrus’s next attack-- more bones for Link to jump over-- the Bishie Cream was joined by MTT-brand Anime Powder, whatever that was. His next attack featured white bones on the roof of the Battle Box, that prevented Link from just sailing over the bones without a care in the world. Papyrus was too busy spraying his armpits with MTT-brand Cute Juice to notice Link’s next move-- another Spare.

“I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!” Paps crowed as Link flawlessly dodged yet another bland bone attack. He then proceeded to rub MTT-brand Attraction Slime into every pore of his skinless body. “PAPYRUS, HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!” To accentuate that statement, he ate some MTT-brand Beauty Yogurt. Link was starting to wonder who this MTT person was, and why they had so many brands. “PAPYRUS, UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!”

The skeleton had an existential crisis as he realized that he didn’t have ears, and stopped applying MTT-brand stuff. Instead, the monster focused on Link’s blue Soul avoiding most of his attacks, but still getting clipped here and there. This whole ‘gravity’ thing was still new to Link in terms of Soul maneuvering, after all.

“UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME!” In accompaniment of this statement, hills made of bones flung themselves at Link’s Soul, forcing the Hylian to leap over them. He would have just eaten the attacks, but he still hadn’t been able to heal from that dog bite from earlier. “THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!” But according to the text box below, Papyrus was trying desperately to keep it cool. “MY BROTHER WILL… WELL, HE WON’T CHANGE VERY MUCH.”

Link laughed a bit, as even more bones assaulted him. This time, they were moving up and down as well as sideways, adding a bit more difficulty into his movements. Papyrus spent a minute designing a non-bone attack before trashing it, instead opting to cackle maniacally. Something smelled like bones.

“I’LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS! BUT… WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU? SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE… AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD AFTER YOU’RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY… URGH! WHO CARES? GIVE UP!”

All the while, the skeleton was throwing ever more complicated attacks at Link, who merely replied with a curt “no.”

“VERY WELL! THEN FACE MY… SPECIAL ATTACK!”

The Battle Box expanded to reveal a small dog chewing on a bone. Was this the attack? Probably not, as Papyrus appeared just as confused as Link felt.

“WHAT THE HECK! THAT’S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY, YOU STUPID DOG! STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE RIGHT NOW! THE GREAT PAPYRUS DEMANDS IT!”

In response, the puppy darted out of the fight, with the bone it had been chewing in tow.

“... OH WELL. HERE’S A REALLY COOL NORMAL ATTACK.”

Immediately, a symphony of bones flung themselves at Link, requiring quick thinking on the part of the Hylian hero. He only took damage from the dog, which ran back across the stage and clipped Link on the bottom of the Soul. After dodging the Cool Dude words made out of bones, a massive congregation of bones slowly and steadily approached. Link could tell that there was absolutely no way he could possibly avoid by jumping. So he stood his ground, and was rewarded for his bullheaded courage by a bone that took up the entirety of the Battle Box. There was no way that he was going to be able to jump over it, so why bother?

He was down to his last twenty health. Luckily, it appeared that Papyrus was down to his last zero attacks.

“WELL…” Papyrus gloated, breathing heavily. “IT IS CLEAR… YOU CAN’T DEFEAT ME! YEAH! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS!”

He was shaking, but it was probably from the cold. Or blood loss. One of the two, or maybe both.

“THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! YOU WILL BE SPARED, HUMAN! NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY!”

“Don’t call me Human. My name is Link,” Link said, accepting.

The wind had finally died down, allowing him to see Papyrus clearly. He appeared distraught.

“NYOO HOO HOO,” he cried lowly. “I CAN’T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU…”

“I take offense to that,” Link said quietly.

“UNDYNE IS GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED…” Papyrus continued, oblivious to Link’s complaints. “I’LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD… AND… MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT.”

“In my book, it’s increased by one,” Link said hesitantly. “You… have me.”

“REALLY! YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME?” Papyrus asked, mood turning on its head. “WELL THEN… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU! WOWIE! WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE AND I’VE ALREADY BEEN FRIENDZONED!”

“Huh?”

“WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM? YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH, AND I’LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE!”

Link listened intently.

“CONTINUE FORWARDS UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN,” the skeleton instructed. “THEN, WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE BARRIER. THAT’S THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US UNDERGROUND.”

Where was this Barrier, anyway? Where did it connect to the Surface world? Link felt like he would have at least heard about it by now.

“ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT… EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL. LIKE YOU! THAT’S WHY THE KING WANTS TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN. HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER. THEN US MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE SURFACE!

“OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU… TO REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS THROUGH THE KING’S CASTLE. THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS…”

Was a murderer, and would eagerly mow him down for his Soul.

“HE IS… WELL…” Papyrus started dramatically. “HE’S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER! EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY.”

That caught Link off guard. “Wait, what?”

“IN FACT, I AM CERTAIN THAT IF YOU JUST SAY ‘EXCUSE ME, MISTER DREEMURR… CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?’ THEN HE’D GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF! ANYWAY, THAT’S ENOUGH TALKING! I’LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND! FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!”

With that, Papyrus leapt forty feet into the air and vaulted directly over Link, darting back towards Snowdin Town. Link followed, figuring that he should probably rest easy after his mentally taxing tenure in Snowdin. Plus, he could probably warm up.

He found Papyrus standing in front of a well-constructed log home not wholly unlike something out of Hyrule. The illusion was ruined by the decorative red and green lighting framing the building.

“SO YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME ALREADY!” Papyrus noted astutely. When Link reluctantly nodded his assent, Papyrus commented, “YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS… I’LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL… A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!”

Papyrus then proceeded to sprint deeper into Snowdin, forcing Link to follow him at a similarly breakneck pace. It was significantly harder for the Hylian, as in his child form, his legs were nowhere near as long as those of his skeletal companion.

Oh, what he wouldn’t give to be an adult again…

He almost didn’t notice Papyrus suddenly reverse his direction until Link practically collided with him. Skidding on the ice and barely avoiding wiping out, Link gave chase, ending up at the building they had started from. “MY HOUSE!” Papyrus declared, stepping inside and holding the door open for the youth.

!0*0!

“WELCOME TO SCENIC MY HOUSE! ENJOY AND TAKE YOUR TIME!”

The inside was just as cozy as the outside looked, not to mention spacious. The floor was patterned with a friendly blue and purple zig-zag texture that squished under Link’s boots. There was a lower level and an upper area, the latter of which gave access to two doors. The door furthest down was spewing some kind of multicolored goop from the crack between the door and the floor. By the entrance to the home was a table with a rock on it, covered in sprinkles. Directly in front was a small kitchen, featuring an absurdly tall sink. Link entered the kitchen, poking around.

“IMPRESSED?” Papyrus asked. “I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF THE SINK MYSELF! NOW I CAN FIT MORE BONES UNDER IT! TAKE A LOOK!”

Opening the door revealed the same dog from their fight just a few minutes ago, gnawing on a bone. Papyrus was infuriated.

“WHAT? CATCH THAT MEDDLING MUTT THIS INSTANT! CURSES!” Papyrus hollered as the dog sprinted out the door.

Meanwhile, from the second level, Sans emerged from the goopy room and blasted four descending notes on a trombone. This somehow managed to infuriate Papyrus even more than the dog did.

“SANS! STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!” the taller skeleton screamed. Link wasn’t sure if he was imagining things or not, but he thought he heard Sans utter a simple “no” at this demand. Desperate to change the subject, Link opened the fridge inquisitively, noticing that half of it was labeled “Spaghetti”.

“AH! INTERESTED IN MY FOOD MUSEUM? PLEASE, PERUSE MY CULINARY ARTWORK!”

Link carefully extricated one of the containers of spaghetti. “Y’know, I never actually tried your spaghetti, back in Snowdin…”

“WOWIE! I TOTALLY FORGOT!” Papyrus exclaimed, yanking the food from Link’s hands and heating it on a nearby stove. At full blast. For fifteen minutes.

After a brief stint where the pasta lit on fire, Link was served a heaping helping of spaghetti on a plate, complete with a fork and a light dusting of something that looked and smelled like cheese.

Link speared a single strand of spaghetti and delicately put it in his mouth. He rolled it around his tongue for a while, getting his fill of the indescribable flavor, before quickly swallowing it down. If he had anything else to dull the taste of that spaghetti, he would have downed it in a heartbeat. It was so, incredibly, incomprehensibly bad. It tasted like rotting wood that had been drowned with Dinolfos urine and salted with rusted iron. It tasted like it regretted ever being birthed out of Papyrus’s kitchen. It was, in fact, so revolting that the Link had to consult a dictionary to find more ways to describe its awful taste. It took all of Link’s willpower to not visit the trash can at that instant. He hoped that this wasn’t how spaghetti was supposed to taste. Either way, he wouldn’t be eating it ever again if it was his choice.

Papyrus stared at Link expectantly, waiting for a judgement. Eventually, the Hylian settled on “unique” as a good adjective for it. Fortunately, Papyrus managed to not notice Link’s gagging and spent the next five minutes lauding himself while the swordsman politely excused himself, ran out to the back of the house, and voided the contents of his stomach. Violently.

Link headed back inside and resumed his original position, his date having not noticed his absence in the slightest. They decided to leave the kitchen, which was probably for the best. Having exhausted anything worth talking about on this floor, Link marched towards Sans’ door, intent on berating the short skeleton for not properly warning him about his brother’s cooking. Unfortunately, it was locked, so the Hylian dejectedly inquired as to the purpose of the other door.

“THAT’S MY ROOM!” Papyrus informed helpfully. “IF YOU’VE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND… WE COULD GO IN AND DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DATE?”

“Uh, sure?” the Hylian consented, not knowing what the second half of Papyrus’s statement was talking about. He followed Papyrus into the room, which was somehow even cozier than the rest of the house. Link breathed out; he was half expecting the room to be built solely out of bones and spaghetti. The Hylian was happily surprised, however. Nestled in the corner was a bed that was being smothered by some esoteric shape with wheels on it. Adjacent to that was a small table covered in figurines. There was a bookshelf, a flag that seemed oddly familiar to the ones Link had seen in the Gerudo Bay in Termina, and another smaller table with some kind of large box with a screen on it on top. But what really caught his attention was the box of bones tucked away by the door.

“THOSE ARE THE ATTACKS I USED ON YOU,” Papyrus explained. “GREAT MEMORIES, HUH? SEEMS LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY… EVEN THOUGH IT BASICALLY JUST-- HUMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Link had extricated a particularly long bone from the pile. “This would make a fantastic spear,” he commented, unsheathing his sword and whittling one side of it down to a sharp point. “Actually, it’s too long. Should be a javelin.” He then proceeded to give the other end the same treatment, ending up with a long spear with twin edges at each end. Link wasn’t very good with lances, so he was going purely on what he’d seen Phantom Ganon use, along with his brief stint in Hyrule Castle, where he’d gotten to see the Hyrulean soldiers train.

“I CAN’T USE THAT NOW!” Papyrus moaned. “IT’S TOO SHARP! I’LL CUT MYSELF!”

“You don’t even have skin! Or blood!” Link pointed out.

Pap blinked. “OH.”

“Now, what’s this?

“THAT’S MY BED! IF I EVER GET TO THE SURFACE, I’D LIKE TO DRIVE DOWN A LONG HIGHWAY. WIND IN MY HAIR, SUN ON MY SKIN… OF COURSE, THAT’S ONLY A DREAM. SO INSTEAD I CRUISE WHEN I SNOOZE.”

Link was about to point out that Papyrus possessed neither hair nor skin, but decided against it. He’d let the skeleton dream. Continuing, Link picked up one of the figurines by Papyrus’s bed.

“AH, YES. ACTION FIGURES. A GREAT REFERENCE FOR THEORETICAL BATTLE SCENARIOS.”

So they actually served a use? Interesting. “Why are there so many? There’s at least a dozen.”

“WELL, LET’S JUST SAY THEY’RE FROM… A CHUBBY, SMILING MAN WHO LOVES TO SURPRISE PEOPLE. YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT! SANTA!”

“Sounds like a nice guy. Now, what’s this flag? Looks familiar.”

“ISN’T IT NEATO? UNDYNE FOUND IT AT THE BAY… I THINK IT’S FROM THE HUMAN WORLD?”

“Actually, I think I remember seeing this somewhere,” Link explained. “Oh right, a pirate ship! They steal from other ships. I think. I’m shaky on the details.”

“OOH, FASCINATING! BUT, I’VE ALWAYS WONDERED… WHY WOULD A HUMAN FLAG HAVE A COOL SKELETON ON IT? MY THEORY IS THAT HUMANS MUST BE DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS!”

“Uh… how do I say this… If you take a human,” Link explained, “and violently rip off all the skin and muscle… and tear out the organs-- those are the squishy things that let humans do things like digest human food-- you’re left with a skeleton. Skeletons exist inside of humans.”

“WOWIE!” Papyrus exclaimed. “TRULY INCREDIBLE!”

Link walked past Papyrus’s bookshelf, which featured texts such as ‘Advanced Puzzle Construction for Critical Minds’ sandwiched in between ‘Fat Tony’s 1,000 Word Search Collection’ and ‘Peek-a-boo with Fluffy Bunny’, and placed his attention on the strange device sitting alone on a table. “Now what’s this thing?”

“THE INTERNET! I’M QUITE POPULAR THERE! I’M JUST A DOZEN AWAY FROM A DOUBLE DIGIT FOLLOWER COUNT! OF COURSE, FAME HAS A STEEP PRICE. A JEALOUS TROLL HAS BESIEGED MY ONLINE PERSONA. ALWAYS SENDING ME BAD PUNS IN A GOOFY FONT…”

“You sure it’s not Sans?” Link asked, which prompted Papyrus to slap both of his hands onto his nonexistent cheeks. The next few seconds passed in awkward silence until Papyrus said something.

“SO, UM… IF YOU’VE SEEN EVERYTHING, DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE?”

“Wait, we hadn’t started yet? Sure,” Link agreed.

“OKAY! DATING START!” Papyrus crowed ecstatically. “HERE WE ARE, ON OUR DATE! I’VE, AH… NEVER ACTUALLY DONE THIS BEFORE.”

“That makes two of us,” Link grumbled.

“BUT DON’T WORRY! YOU CAN’T SPELL PREPARED WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME! SEE, I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY! WE’RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME! LET’S SEE HERE…”

Papyrus opened a thick, dusty-looking tome and swiftly scanned its contents. “STEP ONE: ASK THEM ON A DATE! HUMAN! I, THE GRE--”

“I already asked you out on a date, we can skip this,” Link interjected boredly.

“WELL THEN, AH… THAT WAS EASY! STEP TWO: WEAR A NICE OUTFIT TO SHOW YOU CARE!”

Papyrus did nothing for a few seconds. “WAIT A MINUTE… WEAR CLOTHING? THAT SILLY HAT ON YOUR HEAD… YOU’RE WEARING CLOTHING RIGHT NOW! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT EARLIER TODAY, YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING! NO… COULD IT BE? YOU’VE WANTED TO DATE ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING?!”

Link, confused, thought for a moment, trying to decipher Papyrus’s muddled logic. The skeleton in question was blushing something fierce, staring at Link with stars in his eyes. What could he say? No? “Yes…?”

“NO! YOU PLANNED IT ALL!” Papyrus squealed, eyes going wide. “YOU’RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM! N--NO! YOUR DATING POWER…!”

Above Papyrus’s head, a gray bar labeled ‘Dating Power’ began to fill with blue, stopping at about the forty percent mark.

“NYEH! NYEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus laughed, trying to keep cool. “DON’T THINK YOU’VE BESTED ME YET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING, AND I NEVER WILL! I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING! IN FACT… I ALWAYS WEAR MY ‘SPECIAL’ CLOTHES UNDERNEATH MY REGULAR CLOTHES, JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY ASKS ME ON A DATE!”

Oh god. Papyrus was about to take off his clothes. Link swallowed nervously, but couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“BEHOLD!”

And the garb fell from Papyrus’s form in front of Link’s very eyes. To be honest, he didn’t know quite what to expect. At least there was something underneath the armor. Link was half expecting there to be nothing at all, exposing the skeleton’s ribcage and pelvis fully. Even though there would be nothing there-- this was a skeleton, after all-- Link doubted he was emotionally mature enough to see that. Instead, Papyrus was wearing a backwards-facing cap on his skull. His torso was covered by a thin cloth shirt that read ‘C00l Dude’, flanked by what appeared to be some kind of ball on the shoulder. He was also garbed in backwards short trousers and athletic shoes.

“NYEH HEH HEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE?”

Link let out a series of ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ that translated into Morse Code for ‘gorgeous’.

“NO! A GENUINE COMPLIMENT!” Papyrus sighed, as the ‘Dating Power’ bar filled even more. “HOWEVER… YOU CAN’T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT! THEREFORE… WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID! THIS DATE WON’T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER… UNLESS YOU FIND MY SECRET!”

Link really didn’t want to find whatever Papyrus was hiding. “If I had to, then I--

“HAD… HAT… MY HAT! WELL THEN… YOU FOUND MY SECRET,” Papyrus confessed, doffing his cap to reveal a carefully wrapped present underneath. “IT’S A PRESENT… JUST FOR YOU!”

Gingerly, Link took the present from on top of Papyrus’s head and unwrapped it. He was half-convinced it was going to try and kill him in some way. It revealed… another plate of spaghetti. Instinctually, a bout of nausea filled his body as he struggled not to gag on the scent alone.

“YOU LIKED THE SPAGHETTI IN THE FRIDGE SO MUCH, SO I MADE YOU ANOTHER BATCH!” Papyrus explained excitedly. “BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT! I BOILED IT IN WATER THIS TIME! TRULY, AN ARTISAN’S WORK! HUMAN! IT’S TIME TO END THIS! THIS DATE WILL NOT GO ANY FURTHER!”

As much as Link didn’t want to eat Papyrus’s spaghetti, he knew that it would do wonders for the skeleton’s self-esteem if he at least ate a bite. So, stifling his gag reflex, he delicately pinched a noodle and downed it.

It tasted slightly less bad. Not by much, but certainly an upgrade. It was burnt, and tasted like bokoblin excrement-- not that Link would know what that would taste like-- but it was better. Still, though, his face reflexively scrunched up in disgust.

“WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION! YOU MUST LOVE MY COOKING… AND BY EXTENSION, ME! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO! ARGH! UGH! NO!”

With each word, the ‘Date Power’ bar filled all the way to the max, going even beyond the end of what was once a gray box. Then it disappeared with an electric spark.

“HUMAN. IT IS CLEAR NOW. YOU’RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME,” Papyrus commented. “EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY… IT’S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE.”

At least that last one was right.

“HUMAN, I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT’S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT’S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU… I… I…”

Had he accidentally seduced Papyrus? Oh god, he’d made a huge mistake. Oh no, oh no, oh no--

“I’M SORRY. I DON’T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN.”

“Oh, thank the Three!” Link sighed, collapsing. “Honestly, I was only going along with this because I thought you were into me, and… I think it all just spiraled out of control.”

“I TRIED TO BE!” Papyrus defended. “I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME, I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU! THEN, ON THE DATE, FEELINGS WOULD BLOSSOM FORTH! I WOULD BE ABLE TO MATCH YOUR ILLUSORY PASSION FOR ME!”

“I guess I’m glad it didn’t work out,” Link said comfortingly. “Can we just pretend that this never happened? It would probably be less embarrassing for all of us.”

“YES! I SHALL REMAIN YOUR COOL FRIEND, AND ACT LIKE NONE OF THIS EVER HAPPENED! AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME, HERE’S MY CELL PHONE NUMBER! YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! WELL, GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH!”

“Paps, actually, wait.”

“HM?” Papyrus asked, already halfway out the door.

“If you don't mind… could I stay here for the night? I, uh… don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

“HAPPILY, HUMAN! YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH!” Papyrus informed jauntily. “I FEAR IT IS NOT THE MOST COMFORTABLE OF PLACES, BUT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD BE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU! WE CAN EAT ALL THE SPAGHETTI YOU WANT!”

Oh Goddesses, what had he just agreed to?

“WELL, I WILL BE TRAINING WITH UNDYNE! IF YOU HAVE NEED OF ANYTHING, ASK SANS! HE… PROBABLY WON’T DO ANYTHING, BUT…”

Papyrus was saying more, but he was already out the door. That left Link, alone in the house for all intents and purposes, with absolutely nothing to do.

He re-entered Papyrus’s room, eyeing the bone javelin he had already carved and the box of bones by the bed. He could do something with this…

!0*0!

“Kid, what are you doing?”

“Huh?” Link muttered, looking up at Sans. “Just whittling.”

“Kid, that’s a Papyrus action figure.”

“It’s for Papyrus!” Link defended. “Just like all the other stuff.”

Sans sighed. “I’m too bone tired for this.”

He stalked past the television, which was turned off, and moved to grab his joke book on the corner table. The stout skeleton, however, was distracted by the ivory-shaded bone mask that now hung prominently from the wall, visibly startling the monster significantly. “Kid, what--- why--”

“Oh, that’s for me.” Link explained curtly. “I can wear it if anyone comes to visit. I can pose as a monster easier that way.”

“And you whittled that? With a sword?”

“Well… yeah. I grew up in a forest without monster technology. If you wanted something, you had to make it yourself. Besides, Papyrus has a ton of bones just lying around. I only took a few, and I’m sure he won’t miss them.”

“You mean a skele-ton,” Sans corrected.

“Yeah, yeah,” Link sighed, sheathing his sword. He noticed how Sans relaxed at the sight of it.

“So you mean to tell me you’ve been here for the last six hours doing nothing but whittling? And that’s what all the dust on the carpet is from?”

“Yeah. I can clean it up if you want,” Link said helpfully, grabbing a bone shovel leaning against the wall and scooping up all of the bone shavings from the floor before walking outside and dumping them in the snow. “Also, I’m staying here for the night. Sleeping on the couch. Hope you don’t mind.”

Sans kept that eternal grin. “I don’t care, kid. Nothing gets under my skin. Anyways, I’m going to Grill-- Actually, now that I think about it…”

!0*0!

“HUMAN! I HAVE-- OH MY GOSH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?”

“Sans asked for a shindelier,” Link said, hopping off of the massive bone ladder he’d constructed in order to better access the ceiling. “So I installed a chandelier made out of shins.”

“I didn’t think you were being serious,” the aforementioned short skeleton commented, scaring Link out of his skin. He never heard Sans come back home from Grillby’s. It was probably one of those accursed ‘shortcuts’ he kept talking about. “How was Undyne?”

“SHE INSISTED ON PLAYING ‘TACKLE THE SKELETON’,” Papyrus whined. “IN WHICH SHE TACKLED THE SKELETON AND TIMED HOW LONG IT TOOK FOR HER TO PIN ME. MY BEST WAS… UM… SIX SECONDS. THAT’S DOUBLED FROM LAST WEEK!”

“I’ll do you one better! Who’s Undyne?” Link asked. “I’ve heard so much about her.”

“WHY, SHE IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD!” Papyrus explained. “SHE TRAINS ME EVERY OTHER DAY!”

“Sounds like you had a fun day,” Sans commented. “You must be bone tired. Wanna go to bed?”

“SANS!” Papyrus complained. “... I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.”

Inside of his mind, a single tear rolled down Link’s cheek. There was no Sans to his Papyrus on the Surface-- or, for that matter, a Papyrus to his Sans. There was no one that even remotely came close to that sort of relationship. Well, there was Saria… but even then, it wasn’t the same.

“HUMAN!”

“Huh? What?” Link sputtered like a dying cat, a natural reaction to being forcibly yanked from his doldrums.

Papyrus rolled his eyes… eyesockets? Whatever. “SANS JUST ASKED IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING BEFORE WE HEAD TO BED.”

“I-I’m quite alright, thank you,” Link answered flusteredly.

“You don’t even need a blanket or anything? You’ll be chilled down to the bone if you don’t take it. Temperatures drop really low in Snowdin. Besides, you’re wearing a tunic with no sleeves and that doesn’t cover your legs. You’re going to be more likely to catch a serious cold if you don’t heat yourself up.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve slept in these conditions,” Link argued. Sure, it had been as a Goron, but those were idle semantics.

“Wasn’t asking, kid,” Sans shot back, attempting to smother Link in a cocoon of warmth. Reluctantly, Link allowed himself to be swaddled and carried over to the couch. “Rest easy. God knows you need it.”

The skeleton brothers strolled into Papyrus’s room and gently closed the door behind them. Immediately, Link disentangled himself from the blankets that were ensnaring him and got up off the couch. It was just too soft for him. Instead, the Hero of Time opted to shimmy against the wall, settle a blanket on top of him, and sleep with his eyes open. Just like he usually did, except with a wall keeping him in a sitting position instead of, say, a tree.

But he couldn’t sleep.

His sensitive Hylian ears could easily detect Sans’s voice emanating from inside of Papyrus’s room. He was telling Papyrus a bedtime story, just like he had said.

“Once upon a time, there were two friends,” the skeleton’s voice emanated. “A boy and a girl. They were inseparable; one were never seen without the other. They lived together, in bliss.

“But one day, the boy had to leave, without warning. He never told his friend where he was going, or why. Regardless of the reason, he vanished from the girl’s life. The girl-- no older than a child, really-- took up a long quest to find her lost friend, because when he was gone, she felt a strange hole in his body where she had once been, right in the pit of her heart. She didn’t really have that many other friends, you see. And now that he was gone, the girl didn’t know what to do.”

“I’VE NEVER HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE,” Papyrus commented.

“It’s a new story, bro,” Sans explained. “Anyway, the girl left home in search of her friend. She wandered for a long time, aimless, searching everywhere she could think of for him. She came across many different places, and met many new people, making new friends along the way.”

An unbidden sob eked out of Link’s throat, accompanied by a surge of grief. He shoved it back down. Not here. Not now.

“But… the boy never found his friend.”

Of course he didn’t. The girl was Link, and the boy was Navi.

“And eventually, after many years of searching, she realized that she wasn’t going to ever find her friend.”

The blanket was now slightly damp from the tears dripping off of Link’s face. He was never going to find Navi, was he? Nobody would ever understand him. Nobody would ever be able to empathize with him. He’d be… forever adrift, like a boat without a rudder, at the mercy of the howling winds that didn’t care whether or not he was dead or alive.

“But, the girl realized something else. All those friends she’d made along the way-- those were what mattered to her. And the hole in her heart he’d been trying to fill all those years… well, it was already stuffed to bursting.”

That was a lie. Even now, Link could feel the gnawing, omnipresent pain of Navi tugging at his heartstrings. The story was too hopeful. It couldn’t happen to someone like him.

“BUT WHAT ABOUT HER FIRST FRIEND? DIDN’T SHE STILL MISS HIM?”

“Of course she did. But… deep down, she knew that she wouldn’t sacrifice what she’d gained in his search for what she’d lost, all that time ago. Her new friends were just as good as that boy, if not better, and she was happy. And so she lived happily ever after. The end.”

The sound of footsteps approached the door upstairs, and Link hastily wiped his tears from his eyes and assumed a sleeping position. Sans, however, was unenthused.

“Okay, seriously kid, what the hell,” Sans whisper-yelled.

“Couch is too soft,” Link whispered back. “This is easier.”

“It’s too late for this,” he grumbled. “... were you crying?”

“What? No! I… no…”

Sans raised an eyebrow, despite not having one on his skull. “Sleep tight, kid.”

“Not a kid,” Link grumbled, keeping his eyes open as he forced himself to drift off into slumber. Despite being asleep, he could still see Sans look at him with an aura of confusion before shrugging and departing into his own bedroom.

!0*0!

When Link woke up, he was on the ceiling. Literally. As in pinned to the roof, like if gravity suddenly started going the wrong way. He hadn’t remembered anything since falling asleep. Actually, why was he on the ceiling? And why was he surrounded by bones? Why were there several long, perfectly straight scorch marks littering the walls? Why was his HP down to one point? And why-- why was his sword out?

He demanded to know such things to Sans, who happened to be standing directly below him with several beads of sweat rolling down his face and with a hand pointed at Link for some reason. This was weird, because he was a skeleton.

“Answer my question first,” the skeleton growled. “Why did you try to kill me when I came to check on you, because you were screaming your lungs out? You should just be glad you didn’t wake up Papyrus with all that racket, or I’d have a real bone to pick with you.”

“I… attacked you?” Link breathed, blade slipping out of his grasp. It clattered to the floor, momentarily forgotten. That couldn’t be right. He’d just been dreaming of his final confrontation with Ganondorf, but for some reason he was wearing Majora as well. Every second of that nightmare had been a bundle of reactionary swings to prevent Ganonjora from lopping his head off. Maybe that had translated into Link attacking Sans in the real world? “I… oh, Goddesses, I’m so sorry. I was… sleep-fighting. That’s never happened before… did I hurt you?”

Sans seemed bewildered. “Nah,” he revealed, eliciting a sigh of relief from the Hylian. “Guess I should letcha down now…”

The magically enhanced bones surrounding Link dissipated abruptly, and with a flick of the wrist from Sans, Link gently fluttered back down to the floor. He groaned in pain and weariness, remembering that he was still stuck at 1 HP. “Ugh… why am I almost dead…?”

“KR, kid.”

“The heck is KR?”

Sans kept smiling, not offering an answer.

“You know what? This was a bad idea from the start. I… should have known this would happen,” Link sighed guiltily, picking his blade up and sheathing it. “I’ll be out of your nonexistent hair now. Sorry for almost killing you.”

“Kid, you’ll freeze down to the bone out there. Stay.”

“No!” Link refuted, too quickly. “It’s not sa--”

Just as he opened the door to leave, Sans turned his Soul blue and flung the Hylian gently into the kitchen. A wall of bones then erupted out of the floor, keeping Link trapped inside.

“Don’t rib me on with any of that,” the skeleton ordered. “You get some sleep. If you need anything, just holler. I’ll be on the couch.”

With that, Sans hopped onto the aforementioned couch and immediately started snoring. To Link’s chagrin, the bones that blocked him from leaving the kitchen remained in place. Breathing out, Link gingerly slid his sword to the other side of the bars before laying against the wall to sleep. No, this wasn’t safe enough for Sans and Papyrus. He needed to keep them safer. To solve this problem, he shifted the overly tall sink as far as he could towards the wall, and tucked himself away in between the sink and the fridge. Now it was nearly impossible to get out unless he was awake. Perfect.

He fell asleep again surprisingly easily. His overtaxed nerves from the day’s events must have really worn him out. First he’d killed Toriel, then he had reset the entire world, and after that, the Hero of Time had spent hours desperately trying to not die while being overwhelmed by his own paranoia. Naturally, that didn’t mean he was free from more nightmares; if anything, they were only aggravated by his sorry state. Fortunately, none of them prompted him to wake up, nor did they cause Link to move at all in the real world. Just the way he liked it.

I promise I’m not sad*stic. I just like Link’s character, and I think it could be the focus of endless speculation and fun fic-writing.

Review Please!

Chapter 7: Bearing Down

Chapter Text

On to Waterfall!

RRRP:

MarkOfThree (FF): Well congratulations!

Nemenlos (FF): Huh, I didn’t know that! I guess you learn something new every day! Let’s say for the sake of everyone’s nostrils that Papyrus’s extra bones don’t generate that smell because… magic, I guess.

A person (AO3): Thanks!

Seeking7 (FF): I mean, it really is a UT run with Frisk swapped for Link, but then I change around just enough so that it’s starkly different. I think that contrast between the expectations of the reader and the reality of how Link deals with the situation is really interesting. Thanks for all the support!

Swordmouse (AO3): That is the implication, yes. When I write, I typically constrain myself to one person’s point of view; I find that if I jump around from perspective to perspective, the story loses some of its touch.

Chapter 6

When Link woke up, the bones were gone. So was Sans. Papyrus, on the other hand… well, Link had no idea where he was. His door was locked, so the Hero of Time couldn’t check his room to see if the tall skeleton was inside or not.

Sighing, Link retrieved his sword and stepped outside into the bitter cold of what was presumably morning. He looked up to check, but found that the roof of the Underground was marked solely with lightly glowing crystals. It would not tell him the time of day. How… unfortunate. For half a second, Link was tempted to leave his sword behind. Maybe it was time to take off the sword, leave his aching memories behind, and become a new person. But… he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Like it or not, that sword, and the quests he had taken it on, were forever etched into his person. He could not-- would not-- escape it. And he decided that he didn’t want to. That wouldn’t be what Navi would have wanted.

Would it?

Link trudged through the rapidly decreasing snow, out of Snowdin. In his opinion, it couldn’t be soon enough; he was starting to get tired of the extremely frigid temperatures. As the snow thinned, the earth below him gained a strange purple aesthetic, adjacent to the rushing river beside him. A massive ice cube floated alongside Link, until the path and the stream diverted.

“Yo!” an obnoxious voice squealed from directly beside Link, startling the Hylian out of his reverie. It was the monster child from Snowdin. “Are you sneaking out to see her, too?”

“Who?”

“Awesome,” he sighed, completely oblivious to everything Link was saying. “She’s the coolest, right?! I wanna be just like her when I grow up…”

Oh. It was Undyne. Of course it was. The captain of the Royal Guard who wanted Link dead. Of course the monster population would idolize her…

Link pushed past the monster kid, only to be distracted by none other than Sans sitting in a sentry station, snoozing. Oddly, it still had snow on it.

“Whatcha doing here? I thought you worked in Snowdin,” Link asked.

“What? Ain’tcha seen a guy with two jobs before?” Sans asked. “Fortunately, having two jobs means twice as many legally-required breaks. I was just about to head for Grillby’s. Wanna come?”

Link was about to say he was busy, but was promptly cut off by the rumblings of his stomach. Sans grinned even wider.

“Sounds like a yes. Come on, I know a shortcut,” the skeleton beckoned.

Link followed, heading further away from Snowdin, only to somehow enter the door to Grillby’s instantly. “Wait, wha--”

“Fast shortcut, huh? Hey, everyone.”

“Hiya, Sansy!” a swirly-faced bunny monster replied from a nearby booth. Dogamy and Dogaressa also joined in the greeting.

“Sans, weren’t you here for breakfast just a few minutes ago?” a featherless bird monster asked.

“Nah, I haven’t had breakfast in at least an hour. You must be thinking of second brunch,” Sans replied, winking. The establishment burst into laughter, as the monster-Hylian duo approached the bar.

“Here kid, get comfy,” Sans suggested, gesturing towards a stool. There was some kind of pink sack on one of them, which Link casually brushed off of the seat.

“Nice catch. Sometimes weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats. Anyways, let’s order. Whaddaya want?”

Link would have just taken the rest of his sandwich from that one time Link had already been in here, but he’d already eaten that to replenish his health from that dog bite over the course of the day before. Unfortunately, that healing was rendered moot by whatever had torn him a new posterior that night. “I’ll take whatever the ‘burger’ is,” Link decided.

“Yeah, that sounds pretty good. Hey Grillb, double order of the burg,” Sans ordered. The fire monster who ran the diner wordlessly took their menus and disappeared into a back room.

There was a few seconds of silence, which Sans broke. “So, what do you think of my brother?”

“He’s pretty cool,” Link said. “Polar opposite of me. Not sure if those are related.”

“Of course he’s cool. You’d be cool too, if you wore that outfit all the time. Not to say yours is bad or anything, but it’s got nothing on Pap. He calls it his ‘battle body’. At least Pap washes it… and by that, I mean he showers in it.”

Link laughed. He was getting better at feigning that. He was pretty sure Sans had actually believed it this time.

Grillby then returned with a duo of smallish sandwiches. “Here’s the grub. Want some ketchup?” Sans proceeded to wave a bottle of red, viscous liquid in front of Link’s face.

“I’m quite alright, thank you,” the Hylian confessed.

“Eh, suit yourself. Anyway, cool or not, you have to admit Papyrus tries real hard. Like how he keeps trying to be part of the royal guard. One day, he went to the house of the head of the royal guard and begged her to let him be in it.”

“Undyne?”

“Yeah. Of course, she shut the door in his face because it was midnight. But the next day, she woke up and he was still there. Seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training. It’s, uh, still a work in progress.”

Link laughed softly. A few minutes passed in silence as they both ate their food.

“So, actually, there was a few things I wanted to ask you,” Sans said suddenly.

“Oh?” Link inquired, feeling a chill run down his spine.

The room went dark. Everything had abruptly stopped, even the chaotic trails of Grillby’s… hair? Head? Regardless, everything in the bar seemed frozen in time, except for Link and Sans.

“How the hell did you get so much LV?”

“I, uh…” Link stammered. “Er… I didn’t even know that LV was a thing until I came to the Underground, but… I, ah, um… think I have a theory.”

Sans said nothing.

“There are monsters on the Surface.”

Sans blinked. “What?”

“But they’re not like… down here. Up there, there’s no reasoning with them. There’s no way to Spare, and if there had been, I would have found it by now. And they very much want to kill… the only option is to either run away or kill them first. Some people are like that, too. And… I have a bad habit of getting locked in rooms with them. That’s what the sword is for. Last night was a flashback to… one of the worse ones. I’m not saying any more than that.”

“How many did you kill?” Sans pushed. Were his eyes always that dark?

“I don’t know… hundreds. I never kept track,” Link confessed. “But it’s not like I gained some sick enjoyment out of it. I did what I had to do, nothing more.

“But you know the scariest part? Some of them… well, one of them’s called a Stalfos. It’s a big skeleton with a jagged sword and shield, and a killer smile… and…”

Link closed his eyes. “It was a dead ringer for Papyrus. And when I first met him-- your brother, that is-- I thought he was one of those Stalfoses. Those memories of nearly getting gutted like a fish-- several times-- just overwhelmed me completely, and I acted on instinct. But… there’s one crucial difference between a Stalfos and Pap. Pap isn’t… well, evil. Your brother never tried to kill me, and that’s really what helped me distinguish him from a Stalfos. But… I still can’t shake the feeling… what if they were all Pap?”

Emotion throbbed within him, making him physically hurt. “What if they’re all Pap? Because then I’m… I’m...”

The youth planted his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands, bawling his childish little eyes out. Through his tears, he could see Sans’ eyes soften, and the skeleton put an arm around Link in a vain effort to comfort him. They sat in silence for some time before Sans finally spoke.

“Let it all out, kid. Those monsters can’t hurt you here.”

And so they stayed there.

“Y’know, that’s the bravest thing I’ve seen anyone do.”

“Huh?” Link managed to get out.

“The bravest thing anyone can do is admit to their own insecurities. Your defining trait is Courage, right?”

“H-how’d you know that?” Of course it was Courage. He’d wielded the Triforce of Courage during his quest in Hyrule.

“Your Soul. Red is Determination, Orange is Bravery. Just like how Courage is a mix of Determination and Bravery, your Soul is a combination of those two colors,” Sans explained. “I guess that makes sense. I saw that LV when I first met you, just outside of the Ruins, and thought you were a murderer. Nobody who avoids violence gets it that high… but then I watched you. You treated everyone with more dignity and respect than what I expected.

“Thanks, kid, for proving me wrong.”

Sans sighed, and the room returned to normal. He got up from the stool. “Welp, that was a long break. I can’t believe I let you pull me away from work for so long.”

“Wha-- but you-- I didn’t--”

Sans just shot him another smirk. “Oh, by the way, I’m flat broke. You mind footing the bill? It’s just ten thousand G.”

Link started choking. His sandwich from the other day hadn’t cost nearly that much…

“Heh, just kidding. Grillby, put it on my tab.”

And with that, Sans walked out of the diner and back towards the marshes. Link insisted on paying the actual price of forty-five gold before leaving the diner as well. Interestingly, he ended up in Snowdin; he was half expecting to somehow teleport into Waterfall again. Unfortunately, Sans leaving managed to restore all the normal properties of doors, which Link was grateful for. Maybe now his head would stop hurting.

Probably not.

!0*0!

Link hissed as a small boulder made contact with his submerged leg. That was probably going to bruise. Worse, the stone nearly pushed the Hylian out of the water and down the waterfall itself, which was a drop so deep that he couldn’t see the bottom if he tried. After much toil, the Hero of Time managed to extricate himself from the rushing waters, on the other side of the roaring river. Squeezing his tunic in places to remove as much water as possible, Link pressed onwards.

An errant glance upwards revealed a figure standing atop a sheer drop, its body exuding a metallic luster. It was awfully reminiscent of the armored knights in Hyrule. From atop its cranium, a crimson tuft of something protruded from its headgear. Maybe it was a feather. Or perhaps a ponytail. Either way, she-- because this was probably that Undyne person everyone kept talking about-- definitely wanted him dead. Therefore, Link wasted no time in diving into a patch of extremely tall grasses. He could see out of it, but it would be highly difficult to see him within it; his green clothing helped mask his presence a bit.

“H… HI, UNDYNE,” Papyrus’s voice echoed from above Link. “I’M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT… UH… REGARDING THE HUMAN I CALLED YOU ABOUT EARLIER…”

Undyne muttered something to the skeleton that Link couldn’t hear. “HUH? DID I FIGHT THEM? Y-YES, OF COURSE I DID! I FOUGHT THEM VALIANTLY!”

From out of Link’s sight, the shifting of metal on metal could be heard.

“WHAT? DID I CAPTURE THEM?” Papyrus reiterated helpfully. “W-W-WELL… NO. I TRIED VERY HARD, UNDYNE, BUT IN THE END… I FAILED.”

“Then it’s settled,” presumably Undyne’s voice lilted through the marshes. “I’ll take their Soul myself.”

Monster Kid squealed in happiness.

“W-WHAT? BUT UNDYNE… YOU DON’T HAVE TO DESTROY THEM! YOU SEE… YOU SEE…”

Above Link, Undyne pivoted, causing Papyrus to back away.

“... I UNDERSTAND. I’LL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN.”

The plodding of Papyrus’s boots was the only sound for a time. Link, knowing that he was out of eaves to drop, started to make his way out of the grasses, leaves rustling along the way. He was cut off, however, by the marching of metal boots approaching. Instinctually, the Hylian flattened himself into the vermillion earth, staying absolutely still. She still didn’t know he was here. Maybe.

A brilliant teal spear formed in Undyne’s outstretched hand as she surveyed the grasses below her. She looked to the left. Then to the right. Then left again. A bead of sweat rolled down Link’s forehead. Monster Kid was practically salivating.

The spear dissipated into magic-laden vapor, as Undyne stepped away, the clanking of her armor fading into the omnipresent sounds of the water. Picking himself up, Link walked out of the grasses, but was stopped by the child from earlier.

“Yo! Did you see the way she was staring at you?” he squealed.

“Yeah…” Link breathed. He wished he hadn’t.

“That… was awesome! I’m so jealous! What’d you do to get her attention…? C’mon! Let’s go watch her beat up some bad guys!”

The child sprinted ahead, tripped, picked himself up off of the ground, and continued on his way.

A feeling of dread washed over Link. He did his best to remain courageous, following the monster child deeper into the marsh. As soon as he entered the area, he was confronted by some kind of mermaid horse monster by the name of Aaron, who promptly demanded a flexing contest. Not quite sure what he was talking about, Link merely imitated his pose, wiry musculature bulging within his arms. Aaron proceeded to flex twice as hard, both parties’ attack power increasing. After a bicep-related attack that had Link diving from left to right in an effort to dodge several undulating muscular arms, Link flexed again. His opponent flexed so hard that Link thought he heard something pop. Shrugging internally, the Hero of Time flexed as hard as he could. Aaron, in turn, flexed so powerfully that his body was carried completely out of the room. How did that even work? Skipping leg workouts probably had something to do with it.

With that out of the way, the Hero turned his attention towards the plaque on the wall. It was a long and overly detailed explanation of the so-called ‘bridge flowers’. Evidently, they had evolved so that, when placed in a row of four, they would bloom. It was a strange form of symbiosis.

They held his weight remarkably well. That being said, Link was hardly the heaviest of individuals; he’d always been on the lighter end. Regardless, it was easy to cross the gap, which would have been too wide to jump. The next one, however, wasn’t even that hard to throw himself across, so he did, completely avoiding the puzzle.

His phone rang as soon as he crossed the jump. Oh god, had he gotten another random call? Actually, now that he thought about it, he still didn’t know what a ‘pizza’ was… That notwithstanding, Link flipped open his phone and accepted the call.

“HELLO? THIS IS PAPYRUS!” the skeleton’s voice screamed. “HOW DID I GET THIS NUMBER? WELL, IT’S SIMPLE! I SEQUENTIALLY DIALED EVERY SINGLE NUMBER UNTIL I FOUND YOURS! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!”

Link breathed out, in amusem*nt but mostly exasperation.

“SO, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?” Papyrus asked abruptly. “I’M… ASKING FOR A FRIEND. SHE THOUGHT SHE SAW YOU WEARING THAT SAME, DUSTY, DRAB TUNIC YOU’RE ALWAYS WEARING. IS THAT TRUE?”

“No, I’m wearing a red velvet dress and have trained squirrels perched on my shoulders,” Link said sarcastically.

“SO YOU ARE WEARING A RED DRESS! GOT IT… WINK WINK! HAVE A NICE DAY!”

The phone went dead, and Link was hit with the sudden realization that Papyrus had thought he was serious. Oh, Papyrus. How had he ever thought that innocent, naive skeleton was a Stalfos? Unless all the Stalfos were like that, and he’d never seen it… then he really was a sorry excuse for a human being. Maybe that was why Navi had left.

The next area was dubbed the Wishing Room, as its roof was bespeckled with hundreds of shining stones. They looked like the stars. The floor was flooded and knee-deep with water, thoroughly soaking Link’s combat boots. The Echo Flowers planted all around him thrummed with the wishes of the monster population. Most of them just wanted to see real stars again. Link, lost in thought, tripped over a Woshua and was saved from becoming absolutely sopping wet by being sucked into the Combat Plane, where he was aggressively rubbed with a bar of sharp soap. After making it technically consensual by asking to be cleaned by the germaphobe, the monster let Link go. Unfortunately, both ends of the room appeared to be dead ends, but one wall sounded hollow to the edge of Link’s blade, and a well-aimed punch carved a perfect, Link-sized hole in it.

Beyond was a rickety wooden platform sidled up against a wall, with ancient carvings etched into the otherwise smooth stone. In the darkness, Link could only barely make out what it said.

“The War of Humans and Monsters,” Link read. “Why did the humans attack? It seemed they had nothing to fear. Humans are unbelievably strong; it would take the soul of nearly every monster just to equal the power of a single human soul.”

No wonder everyone wanted him dead for his soul, if it was that powerful.

“But humans have one weakness,” Link continued. “Ironically, it is the strength of their Soul. Its power allows it to persist outside of its body, even after death. If a monster defeats a human, they can take its Soul. A monster with a human soul… a horrible beast of unfathomable power.”

Adjacent to the carvings was a drawing of a… creature. Something about it was inherently unsettling, but Link hardly even noticed. His fear factor had been almost completely annihilated by the Bottom of the Well, the Shadow Temple, and… well, everything about Majora. That was not to say that he didn’t feel fear. It was just that the threshold for that fear was higher than most. Courage wasn’t about not having fear; all that mattered was that you didn’t let it control you.

The wall carvings ended there. The only thing left for Link to interact with was a tiny raft that barely prevented him from sinking into the stagnant waters beneath him. Regardless, the Hylian drifted across the river on his makeshift boat, eventually coming to another wooden bridge on the other side. The whole area was consumed by darkness, and what little light there was behind him failed to illuminate it. Moreover, the calming sounds of the water gurgling below him had suddenly gone silent. On edge, and with his instincts screaming at him, Link drew his sword, every nerve alight with paranoid energy.

A near-imperceptible flash of teal energy registered in the periphery of Link’s vision, and before the Hylian could even process what it was, he had slapped the spear into an adjacent column of stone. In his defense, it was sailing directly at him at head-removing speeds. His head automatically twisted to see Undyne emerge from the shadows, a single eye glowing a faint gold from within the darkness. A trio of identical magic spears then formed, pointing directly at Link. The Hylian recognized that he couldn’t possibly hope to deflect all three at the same time, and bolted down the winding wood scaffolding. Every so often, he could hear the loud thunking of the spears embedding themselves in the platform just inches from his heels. This was accompanied by the deafening clanking of Undyne’s armor on a separate walkway parallel to Link’s. Unfortunately, her longer legs enabled her to easily outpace the Hero’s dogged dash despite the weight of those legs. Goddesses, Link wished he was still an adult.

After who knows how long of reactionary dodging, the path straightened out, making it simultaneously easier and harder for Link; he didn’t have to worry about the bends of the path, but it was also harder to avoid his assailant’s attacks.

Then he made the mistake of glancing behind him.

She was practically breathing down his neck and there were spears everywhere and it was very possible that he could die right then and there.

But he refused.

He could see a patch of tall grasses just ahead of him, but that was hardly on his radar yet. He expected Undyne to expect him to beeline for them and hide, but he couldn’t do that yet. She’d know he was there…

Oh, there was a good idea.

Link abruptly stopped and pushed all of his youthful strength into his legs, backflipping over the head of the Royal Guard hunting him down. Her armor made it harder for her to stop, and it took her long enough to stop for Link to dive off of the platform and into the cold water below, making sure to make a lot of noise in doing so. Immediately afterwards, he could hear the significantly louder splash of Undyne following him. That was all he needed. The Hero wasted no time in clambering out of the water, narrowly avoiding another spear, before continuing to sprint down the path and hiding in the grasses. He pressed himself as deep into the violet underbrush as he could go, praying that he’d be concealed there.

Undyne’s clanking swiftly grew louder, and Link thought he could see her armored foot through the grasses, just a few feet from him. Then he spied her glove, reaching into the earth to grab at something. Monster Kid’s ecstatic fawning quickly began. Undyne set the child back down and swiftly left the way she came.

A few seconds after the sounds of her footsteps ceased to reach Link’s sensitive ears, he stumbled out of the underbrush with Monster Kid in tow, who was still squealing dramatically about how he’d never wash his face again.

“Man, are you unlucky,” the child gushed. “If you were standing just a little bit to the left… Yo, don’t worry! I’m sure we’ll see her again!”

He sprinted forwards, tripped, and got back up-- a considerable feat, when taking into account his lack of arms. Link followed, completely straight-faced, and recuperated at a Save Point.

!0*0!

The following hallway had an out-of-place gray metal door in it. Slightly confused, Link opened it and stepped through.

He came to the realization that he wasn’t in Waterfall anymore.

The room he found himself in was somehow even more claustrophobic than the rest of the Underground. Every wall, the floor, and the ceiling was a ubiquitous gray. It was empty and cramped and barren.

Except for the monster standing stiffly inside.

It was almost skeletal in nature, several cracks running down its soulless-looking face. Its body was hidden from Link and shrouded in darkness. It spoke without moving its mouth, in a series of short burst of strange noise that the Hylian couldn’t comprehend, while massive magical hands appeared out of nothingness in the space above it, shifting and transforming in some kind of communication Link failed to understand.

“Uh…” he commented intelligently, moving a hand to the hilt of his sword. The movements became more panicked, the ululations more violent, and some sort of fanged wolf skull materialized out of the gloom and fired a long, straight, white beam at Link’s hand. Jumping, Link barely managed to avoid the blast and sprinted out of the door, slamming it behind him.

His heart was still racing, his hands still shaking, his mind still racing, his breath still haggard. He took a minute to process what had just happened, but his brain drew a blank. He had no idea. The Hero of Time turned around, but the door was mysteriously gone.

It was only then that he realized that he was holding something. He looked down, and realized with a start that it was an unmarked book. What was that doing here? He knew for a fact that he didn’t have any books on him when he entered that room He flipped it open, but to his dismay, the entire thing was filled with nothing but archaic and incomprehensible symbols, including pointing fingers and smiling faces, among other things. The Hylian wasn’t sure why, but he got the feeling that it would be critical that he figured out what the book was saying.

Link decided that he would try to not think about what had just transpired, until he found someone smart enough to be able to translate this strange text. It would be best to simply move on, for now.

!0*0!

The next room had a lot of stuff normal to the area, but Link was more interested in the short skeleton standing casually next to some sort of thin metal tube.

“You keep turning up like a bad Rupee,” Link jested awkwardly.

“It’s not my fault you keep following me around,” Sans defended, significantly more naturally. “Anyways, I’m thinking of starting up a telescope business. It’s normally 50,000 G to use this premium telescope… but, since I know you, you can use it for free. Howzabout it?”

“Sure,” Link replied, standing on the tips of his toes to look through the larger end. “What am I supposed to be doing with this? I can’t see a thing! Piece of garbage…”

“Kid, ya gotta use the small end,” Sans explained, demonstrating. Link copied his movements and peered through the glass. It only displayed a vibrant red.

“Sans, it’s just red,” Link complained, left eye tearing up something fierce.

“Yeah,” Sans replied, shrugging. “Not satisfied? I can give you a full refund.”

Link glared fiercely at the skeleton, a sensation that only inflamed the pain in his left eye. “Sans, what did you do to me?”

“Absolutely nothin’,” Sans replied. Link clawed at his left eye and pulled a slightly translucent red film off of it.

“I hate you so much,” Link spat venomlessly, before turning and marching out of the area.

Immediately, Link was beset by a call from Papyrus, and immediately after he picked up, a pair of… oh Goddesses… moldsmals confronted him. Link’s fragile vestiges of sanity demanded that he not Flirt at all costs.

“HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS! REMEMBER WHEN I ASKED ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES?”

“Not a good time, Pap!” Link yelled into the phone, running as fast as he could away from the slimeballs.

“WELL, THE FRIEND WHO WANTED TO KNOW… HER OPINION OF YOU IS VERY… MURDERY. BUT I BET YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY! AND BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY… I TOLD HER THAT YOU WERE STILL WEARING THAT SILLY MEDIEVAL GARB! BECAUSE I KNEW, OF COURSE, THAT YOU WERE BEING SARCASTIC, AND SINCE IT WAS SUCH A SUSPICIOUS QUESTION, THAT YOU WOULD CHANGE CLOTHES! YOU’RE SUCH A SMART COOKIE! THIS WAY, YOU’RE SAFE AND I DIDN’T LIE! NO BETRAYAL ANYWHERE! BEING FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE IS EASY!”

Tell that to Saria, Link growled internally as the phone went dead. Had he lost the Moldsmals yet? He thought so. Wherever he was, the incredible glowing of the bright blue waters beneath him was hurting his eyes. He tried to get out as quickly as he could, ignoring the musings of the Echo Flowers around him. On his way out, Link noted more wall carvings akin to the ones that had explained the war between humans and monsters.

“The power to take their souls… this is presumably the power that the humans feared. Or perhaps the Hatr--”

The carvings abruptly halted, leaving Link to ponder what it had once said. Sighing in frustration over the lack of information, he continued.

The next room was substantially darker, without the calming sounds of the rest of the area. Actually, what was this place called? The word ‘Waterfall’ came to Link’s mind first, so that was what he was going to roll with. Tense, Link crept along the single stone pathway, trying to wrap his head around how deep the water was to either side.

A pair of cream-colored tentacles rose out of the water, and Link, fearing it was Morpha for half an instant, almost threw himself onto the ground out of terror. He swallowed his fear, and kept going. Eventually, the sudden waves washing through the room became impossible to ignore, and so he turned to see a massive, cream-colored face emerge. Its eyes were abnormally large, each nearly the size of Link’s entire body. It wore a toothless smile, and-- was that a light blush?

“Hey… there… noticed you were… here…” the gargantuan monster squeaked. “I’m Onionsan! Onionsan, y’hear?”

Its voice was an earsplitting falsetto. Link wished it would stop talking, and made to leave the narrow room.

“You’re visiting Waterfall, huh? It’s great here, huh? You love it, huh? Yeah! Me too! It’s my big favorite. Even though the water’s getting so shallow here… I, have to sit down all the time, but… Hey! That’s okay! It beats moving to the city! And living in a crowded aquarium! Like all my friends did!”

“What’s an aquarium?”

She stopped talking after that.

Link left the room, where some kind of tentacle-headed mermaid was hiding in the corner. They still managed to pull Link into the Combat Plane, anyway. Link decided to use the Check option in the Act menu; it seemed to be a constant among all monster encounters, so he might as well figure out what it did. It told him she was ‘tone deaf’ and was ‘too ashamed to sing her deadly song’. Whatever those meant.

Exactly two stylized ‘d’’s fell out of Shyren’s mouth and into the Combat Plane, but they did literally nothing, as none of them even came close to hitting Link. What were his other options? According to the Act menu, they were ‘Smile’, ‘Hum’, and ‘Conduct’. Well, there was only really one option. People were often turned off by Link’s smile, which he could infer was cold and faux, and he didn’t actually know how to conduct music. He could play music just fine, but telling other people how to play music had been Zelda’s forte. He hummed Epona’s Song.

“Ti la sol, ti la sol,” Shyren repeated, her attacks becoming more vigorous and actually forcing Link to move his Soul for a change. Fortunately, she allowed Link to Spare her immediately after that.

Link traveled north, and found himself in a small area containing a piano and a plaque. “A haunting song echoes down the corridor… won’t you play along? The first 8 are fine,” the sign read. So it was a music puzzle, eh? Link could do that. He’d been playing music on the ocarina for years by now. The Hylian entered the east corridor, intent on finding that music. He heard nothing. All there was was a statue of a horned monster hugging something close. It was being rained on by a few droplets coming from an overhead waterfall. Interestingly, its feet seemed dry. The next room was quick to showcase some kind of fabric apparatus that, when Link grabbed it, unfurled into a sizeable barrier from the water above. Maybe he should give it to the statue. Would that cause the music? Indeed it would; a music box began to play the instant the umbrella was in the statue’s hands! Wow, Link was far too good at this sort of thing. Maybe it was unhealthy.

Either way, he memorized the first octuplet of notes from the song and backtracked to the piano, where he replicated it perfectly. This caused a section of wall to fall away, revealing a hidden room with a perfectly spherical orb situated on a pedestal. Power pulsed through the room, assaulting Link’s senses with an overwhelming metaphysical strength. There were carvings on the wall above it, but they had long since faded with time. It said something about magic. Link could feel the artifact almost calling to him, begging him to seize it for himself. The Hylian approached the pedestal hesitantly, waiting for some ancient machine to come to life and attempt to turn him into several sanguine splatters on the walls of the chamber. Actually, now that Link thought about it, it kind of looked like…

A catalyst. Like Din’s Fire, or Farore’s Wind, or Nayru’s Love. Something that allowed Link to unleash his magical power in the form of different abilities, like a dome of flames or an impenetrable shield. What kinds of fantastical abilities would this one grant? The Hero of Time couldn’t wait to find out.

His fingers touched the legendary artifact.

Liquid might surged through his fingertips, into his arms, throughout his entire being, as magic thrummed and swelled within his core. Time seemed to slow as an alien feeling washed over him, like someone had dumped a bucket of icy water over his head. The sensation surged through him, every fiber of his body breathing as if for the first time. It felt… good, wave after wave of a peculiar burning sensation echoing through him. The Hylian became acutely aware of a great undercurrent of unfamiliar something deep within himself that most certainly hadn’t been there before. Or maybe it had, and Link simply didn’t have the ability to feel it before. There was also a twitching sensation by his left hip that absolutely wasn’t present before.

Oh wait, that was his pocket.

A small white dog burst out of Link’s pocket and tackled the legendary artifact. To the Hero of Time’s shock and horror, the sphere disappeared completely, absorbed by the dog. The puppy then awkwardly hovered out of the room and glided straight through a wall. He stared, dumbstruck, before flipping open his cell phone and calling Papyrus.

“HELLO, HUMAN!” the skeleton’s ecstatic voice squealed, distorted by bad reception.

“Hey, Pap,” Link greeted. “I was just wondering: What does magic feel like to a monster?”

“YOU’RE IN WATERFALL, RIGHT?” Papyrus asked. “GO TO THE BIG WATERFALL AND STAND WAIST-DEEP IN IT. IT’S LIKE THAT, BUT INSIDE OF YOU.”

“Huh,” Link commented intelligently. “Thanks.”

“NO PROBLEM, HUMAN!”

He ended the call, face pale. His current fear was still on the table. If he’d turned into a monster… then he was stuck here, too. And he’d never see Hyrule again. Or Zelda. Or Navi. Panicking, he extricated his Soul and breathed out, relieved to see that it was still its normal blood-orange. Toriel’s soul had been white when he’d accidentally killed her, so that reduced the chances of him having become a monster. Thank goodness. He still needed to find Navi, after all.

That’s a wrap. The Legendary Artifact stuff will make more sense in time. No, Link cannot use magic with intent right now; that’d be unfair.

Review Please!

Chapter 8: Paradigm Down

Chapter Text

Well, last chapter was… weird. To say the least. Oh well.

RRRP:

MarkOfThree (FF): Thank you!

D4rkpunch (FF): Thanks!

Swordmouse (AO3): I feel like Undyne and Link are really different in terms of personality. She’s explosive whereas he’s really reserved.

Supure29 (FF): I do a lot of research for my stories, so I’m happy to see that it’s paying off! I actually haven’t read the manga, but what I did do is basically say ‘Okay, so I know X, Y, and Z happened. How would a real person react to that?’

Guest (FF): My pleasure!

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): Wow, sounds like that chapter really resonated with you! I’m not quite sure what you mean by ‘the power of a certain emotion’, maybe I’m just dumb. And if you want Twilight Princess stuff, go take a look at Tears of Memory.

Chapter 7

“Yo! You can’t hold an umbrella either?” the monster kid asked over the quiet splashes of the water all around them. It acted like rain. Also, was an ‘umbrella’ that thing in the bucket? The one that Link had put in the hand of the statue? Probably, and he didn’t need it now, either. If he could bear being stuck in a tempest created by the Song of Storms, he wouldn’t need to worry about a deluge as weak as this. “If you’re walking anyway, I guess I’ll go with you, anyway… heh… Let’s go!”

Link was already halfway down the strait. “W-wait for me!” Monster Kid hollered, sprinting to catch up. “Man, Undyne’s so cool… she beats up bad guys and never loses.”

“If you cling to your idols that desperately, you’re bound to be disappointed,” Link spat.

“If I was a human, I’d wet the bed every night, knowing she was going to beat me up! Haha!”

“I wouldn’t. Think about it; why would a human count as one of the ‘bad guys’?” the Hylian countered. “A normal human trapped in the Underground is practically defenseless against such a monster, so it becomes an inverted repeat of the scenario the monsters were in in the War between Monsters and Humans that got them-- er, us sealed down here in the first place. To the human, the monsters are the bad guys, and Undyne becomes the executioner, exacting vengeance for a crime a bunch of dead people committed eons ago. Does that sound very righteous of you? Because it isn’t!”

Monster Kid stopped, tearing up. “Y-you really think th-th-that w-way?”

“Doesn’t mean I’m right,” Link shrugged. “Maybe I’m crazy. I don’t care. Even if I’m right, that… doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

The child blinked, changing the subject. “So, one time, we had a school project where we had to take care of a flower. The king-- we had to call him “Mr. Dreemurr”-- volunteered to donate his own flowers. He ended up coming to school and teaching the class about responsibility and stuff.”

“Uh huh.”

“And that got me thinking… how cool would it be if Undyne came to class one day! She could beat up all the teachers! Or maybe not… she’s too cool to ever beat up a-- wait…”

The rest of their walk passed in silence. They soon got out of the rain and walked along a thin strip of land illuminated by the throbbing crystals above. It offered them a beautiful view of the capital off in the distance. It was so pretty and peaceful that Link momentarily forgot that he was underground; he only remembered when he couldn’t find the moon. The sight was suddenly infected with melancholy, because now there were layers upon layers of hard, unyielding stone separating him from his beloved Navi. And Hyrule-- home. But mostly Navi.

They entered a hole in the stone, unleashing the rains upon them once again. Unfortunately, save a bucket of umbrellas, the following area was empty. A sheer rock face separated them from the path forwards.

“Yo, you wanna see Undyne, right…?” Monster Kid presumed. “Climb on my shoulders.”

The youth knelt by the wall, offering a way to supersede the obstacle. “What about you?” asked Link. “Do you want to, like, bite my hand after I’m up there?”

“Nah, you go on ahead. Don’t worry about me; I always find a way!”

The child then backtracked the way they had come. Shrugging, Link marched onwards. He entered a corridor with more wall markings that detailed the War of epochs past. “The humans, afraid of our power and already disposed to fight us, declared war. They attacked suddenly, and without mercy, practically falling on top of our heads,” the writings wrote. “In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too Powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single soul was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust…”

They ended there. Link looked above him, and noticed how the stony lights disappeared in the area ahead. Below him was the powerful, rushing waters of a massive waterfall. The only way to cross it was a pair of maze-like bridges, one above the other. The Hylian saw no way to access the lower bridge, so he continued onto the upper scaffolding. The faint light of the starry stones behind him served as the sole illumination, leaving Link’s face and front cloaked in darkness. The last time this had happened, Undyne had tried to murder him.

As if to mock him, a loud humming noise appeared directly in front of Link’s feet. From the point where the sound had come from, a sizeable teal circle had appeared. He whirled around as the sound repeated itself, and he watched as more and more of the circles materialized in front of him. They did nothing. Shakily, the Hylian bent down to examine the spot, only to be caught off-guard when a lance burst through it. The sudden arrival of the magical spear startled him more than it probably should have, and he backed up straight into another spear. He was yanked forcibly into the Combat Plane, where a hail of javelins descended on his soul, dealing substantial damage. Thank goodness he’d healed over the course of the day; if he’d been stuck at one HP, he certainly would have died.

Once he returned to the real world, he could distinctly hear the metallic jangling of Undyne’s armor on the level below him, as more circles emerged all around Link. Knowing what he had to do, the Hylian sprinted forwards, although he could never manage to outpace the Royal Guardswoman pursuing him. The wood of the bridge swayed and creaked below his feet, and he was worried it would give if he ran too fast or jumped from one section to another. As swiftly as he could, the Hero of Time navigated the labyrinthian avenues of the bridge, always making sure to move in such a way that he could easily avoid any spears that may try to impale him. It was strangely reminiscent of his battle with Barinade within the bowels of Lord Jabu-Jabu, a lesser god who kept the waters of Hyrule clean and fresh. Of course, this time, Link was worrying about lances and not parasitic jellyfish, but the comparison still stood.

After what felt like forever, Link finally managed to find the exit to the maze of a bridge, dashing down a long, thin strip of wood. For some Goddess-forsaken reason, it ended on a dead end overlooking the gargantuan waterfall with no escape route in sight. Faced with no other options, Link whirled around to see that Undyne had somehow managed to get up onto the same level as him, a maelstrom of spears materializing out of the air around her. Hands surprisingly still, the Hylian drew his sword. He wasn’t afraid. He’d fought worse.

The magic lances dived towards him with the intent to rend flesh from his body. Link became a whirlwind of steel, trying desperately to either block or dodge each javelin as it came. This didn’t stop some of them from hitting him, striking hard enough to draw blood on his exposed arms. Link paused to eat the spider donut he’d gotten from the Ruins to restore what health he’d lost. Interestingly, the Hero of Time could immediately feel his wounds stitching themselves back together, like it had never happened. He took a moment to marvel at the powers of monster food. It wasn’t anywhere near as potent as a red potion, but he’d take what he could get.

His musings were cut short as the sounds of Undyne approaching filled his mind. He forced himself into a neutral stance, staring down the monster as fiercely as he could. Acutely aware of his fatigue and pain, Link knew he couldn’t face her head-on right now. Doing that would be suicide.

So he sprinted directly at her, using the last of his dogged endurance to propel himself forwards, away from the end of the walkway. If even he thought it was suicide, then how was Undyne supposed to expect it? Plus, even if he did die, the good monsters-- like Sans and Papyrus, and Toriel-- would get their freedom.

And he’d never have to break down in tears again, begging for Navi to come back to him.

He distantly heard the summoning of some spears, and then the snapping and tearing noise of the wood below him.

Then he was weightless, plummeting into the all-consuming darkness below him.

!0*0!

When the Hylian finally came to, the first thing he processed was the oddly familiar feeling of being surrounded by flowers. He got the strangest sense of deja vu-- and not just because he’d encountered an identical situation just a few days ago. The violent gurgling of the waters all around him filled his ears. Curses, he must have fallen down a hole. It was so deep that he couldn’t even see the sky. Why did this sort of thing only ever happen to him? He had to find Navi, for Farore’s sake!

Then it all hit him in a flash. Falling into the Underground. Toriel. Papyrus. Undyne. Sans. Link fell to his knees, overwhelmed. He’d never see Navi again. He’d never get out of this place. He’d die here, without memory.

Alone.

He got up and forced himself to move forwards despite the aching of his heart, now waist-deep in the water. All around him, piles of garbage sat and rotted, forgotten by the monster civilization above.

Just like Link, in more ways than one.

He trudged on, past more trash. Nothing really caught his eye, except for a remarkably unspoiled training dummy identical to the one in the Ruins. The Hero of Time contemplated beating it to smithereens to vent his loathing, but he didn’t see the point. This was probably why Navi had left him, anyway.

The way forth seemed open and unblocked, so Link moved to intercept it, stepping over some kind of small container with a scantily clad anthropomorphic cat drawn on it. The sounds of a slight rustling behind him, however, gave the Hylian pause. Then there was a slash. And in front of him, the training dummy rose from within the waters. It had gone darker in tone, and it was glaring comically.

“Hahahaha… Too intimidated to fight me, huh?” it accused. “I am a ghost that lives inside of a dummy. My cousin used to live inside of a dummy, too. Until you showed up. You scared them out of their body! Don’t you know how long it takes to find a body like this and become corporeal? Human! I’ll scare your soul right out of your body!”

Link was promptly yanked into the Combat Plane. According to the truly mind-blowing logic of the dialog box, Mad Dummy was, in fact, blocking the way. Link never would have guessed. He decided to check the mad dummy; mayhaps it would give some indication of how to best it. All he learned was how to not defeat it, and even then, it only told him that fighting wouldn’t work because it was a ghost.

“Futile. Futile! Futile!” Mad Dummy insisted, as several smaller dummies sprouted from the edge of the Battle Box and flung balls of string at Link’s soul, which he attempted to dodge. Oddly enough, whenever a string ball made contact with the Dummy, its entire incorporeal body smashed apart for half an instant before returning to normal.

“Owww! You… Dummies! Watch where you’re aiming your magic attacks!” It then remembered Link. “Hey! You! Forget I said anything about magic attacks!”

Link tried talking to the dummy about some inane topic, whose details he promptly forgot about five minutes later. Regardless, Mad Dummy didn’t seem like one for conversation. Nobody was happy with this.

“I’ll defeat you and take your soul! And then, I’ll cross the Barrier! I’ll stand in the window of a fancy store! Then everything I want will be mine!”

Meanwhile, the dummy was suffering an onslaught of magical tufts of fuzz, from its dummy companions populating the Battle Box. Even when the Mad Dummy started to move around erratically in an effort to stave off the attack, they still managed to hit him.

“I guess that’ll get revenge for my cousin! What was his name again… Foolish, foolish, foolish! Pitiful, pitiful, pitiful! Feeble, feeble, feeble!”

The Battle Box dummies, which were at this point so drowned in excess cotton that they looked more like a slug than anything else, started to fling themselves off of the sides and towards Link’s soul. Regardless, Link still managed to repeatedly hit the Mad Dummy with the cotton balls.

“Hey, guys!” Mad Dummy screeched, prompting all of the other dummies to appear inquisitively. “Remember how I said not to shoot at me? Well… Failures! You’re all fired! You’re all being replaced!”

The dummies slowly and regretfully slinked away.

Mad Dummy cackled psychotically for a few minutes, though it felt like hours. “Now you’ll see my true power, pitiful human: relying on people that aren’t garbage!”

Robotic and mechanical whirring filled the area, drowning out the cascades of the Waterfall.

“Dummy bots! Magic missiles!” the angered dummy crowed as metal-colored dolls swarmed the battle box. They were the source of the sounds. They fired a metal projectile that still managed to hit Link’s soul despite him moving out of the way significantly. They must have been homing in on his soul energy or something. That system forced the Hero of Time to run around in a circle like a headless chicken, until the missiles’ power wore off and it sailed off in a straight line. Some of them still managed to hit his opponent.

“N… no way!” Mad Dummy complained. “These guys are even worse than the other guys! Who cares. Who cares! Who cares! I don’t need friends! I have knives!”

A rather good-looking knife materialized and dove at Link. “Ooh, don’t mind if I do,” he said, snatching it up mid-flight and stowing it away.

“You… Took my only knife…” the dummy struggled to realize. “But it doesn’t matter! You can’t hurt me and I can’t hurt you! We’ll be stuck fighting here… forever. Forever. FOREVER! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha--”

A slew of sizeable water droplets fell out of the sky and hit the Mad Dummy.

“Ow-ow-ow! What is this, acid rain? Forget this, I’m out of here!” the irate dummy declared, before fleeing to escape the waters. The Mad Dummy was quickly replaced by none other than Napstablook, the ghost from the Ruins. Link grinned appreciatively.

“... sorry, I interrupted you, didn’t I… as soon as I came over, your friend immediately left…”

“He was trying to kill me,” Link explained. “You really saved my life.”

“Oh… I just wanted to say hi… oh no… well, I guess I’ll head home now. Feel free to ‘come with’ if you want… but no pressure… I understand if you’re busy… it’s fine, no worries… just thought I’d offer…”

And with that, the ghost floated back the way it had come, Link following closely behind.

“My house is up here, in case you want to see… or in case you don’t,” Napstablook commented as he continued. Link trailed the specter, calmed by the tranquility of the quiet area he now found himself in. Given how Napstablook didn’t seem to mind if Link didn’t show up promptly, the Hylian decided to explore the remainder of the area beforehand. There were five points of egress branching off of this area. One led back towards Snowdin, via that gap that Link hadn’t been able to jump. To the northwest was a kraken-shaped house with a training dummy outside. It was locked, but it felt important. Link made a mental note to come back later.

Directly north from the central cave was a pair of houses towards which Napstablook had headed. One was locked, so Link opted to go to the other. Fortunately, the ghost monster was inside, floating in front of a computer with headphones on.

“Oh… you really came…” Napstablook commented. “Sorry, I… wasn’t expecting that. It’s not much, but make yourself at home.”

“It’s perfectly homely,” Link replied warmly. “Bit sparse, but that’s just the way I like it. Less wasted space. “What do you typically do here?”

“I usually lie on the ground and feel like garbage,” the ghost revealed. “It’s a family tradition… Do you want… to join me?”

“Sure,” the Hero answered, settling himself on the ground and thinking. Most of his thoughts were centered around Navi, like they often were when he wasn’t doing anything of utmost importance. As usual, he begged for someone, anyone to explain to him why she left. Why she abandoned him. Why everyone abandoned him.

As usual, he got no answer, nor any semblance of one. But he did feel some kind of cosmic significance wash over him, wordlessly communicating to him that everything was going right. Even his eyes were getting in on the action, as the wooden floor and walls of Napstablook’s house faded away and left nothing but the bright, shining stars in their wake. He stayed like that for some time, and it was difficult to force himself to get up again.

“That was quite nice… thanks…”

Link only smiled in response.

!0*0!

Link was bad at encouragement.

He spent at least fifty gold trying to figure out how to encourage that silly yellow snail such that it wouldn’t apply too much pressure. He failed every time.

The Hylian decided to cut his losses and retreat, progressing forwards and rounding a corner in which a large, bearded turtle sat counting how many items he had managed to stuff into the tiny cranny.

“Whoa there! I’ve got some neat junk to sell!” the old monster greeted.

Perfect. “Say, you have any idea what that emblem is? It seems to be plastered all over the place down here.”

“Eh? You don’t know what that is? What are they teaching in school these days?”

Link rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

“That’s the Delta Rune. The emblem of our kingdom… The Kingdom… of monsters. Wa ha ha! Great name, huh? Ol’ King Fluffybuns can’t name for beans!”

“But what does it mean?”

“Nobody knows. It predates written history. All we know is that the three triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the winged circle above represents… something. Most people say it’s the ‘angel,’ from the prophecy…”

“What prophecy?” Link pushed. He swore that if he was the subject of another prophecy, he’d rip his own eyeballs out.

“Oh yeah, the prophecy. Legend has it that an ‘angel’ who has seen the surface will descend from above and give us freedom. ‘Course, most people have adopted a bleaker outlook; it’s an ‘angel of death’ that will free us all from the mortal realm. Honestly, I just think it looks neat!”

Predating history? Check. Representing magic? Check. Part of a prophecy? Check. If the Delta Rune turned out to be the Triforce, and the ‘Angel’ a Loftwing like he suspected, he’d do significantly worse than ripping his eyeballs out of their sockets.

“Say, you live around here, right?” Link asked, trying to change the subject. “You know Undyne?”

“Undyne? Yeah, she’s a local hero ‘round here. Through grit and determination alone, she fought her way to the top of the Royal Guard. Actually, she just came through here asking about someone who looked just like you…”

Link paled.

The turtle chuckled. “I’d watch your back, kid. And buy some items. It might just save your hide! Wa ha ha!”

He was quite alright, but he left some gold for the monster anyway.

!0*0!

“Hurt, beaten, and fearful of our lives, we surrendered to the humans,” the wall texts read. “Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell.”

Seven magicians… seven Sages?

“Anything can enter the seal, but only a being with a powerful soul can exit,” they continued. “There is only one way to reverse this: if a great power equivalent to seven human souls attacked the Barrier, it would break. But this cursed place has no entrances nor exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped here forever.”

The hole in the Ruins was either then undiscovered or hadn’t formed yet, Link reasoned.

The corridor ended in a cramped hallway overgrown with luminescent grasses. The Hylian couldn’t make heads or tails of anything through the darkness. Some part of it was illuminated, but the Hero of Time didn’t want to brave the darkness. If Undyne was lurking inside of it, she could easily kill him without the Hylian even having time to react, much less defend himself.

He stepped on a mushroom, and to his surprise, another segment of grasses lit themselves. He followed the path more, finding another mushroom and tapping it. Unfortunately, this one led him to a dead end. He backtracked and swiftly discovered the correct exit.

His danger sense tingled; he’d have to confront Undyne soon. Therefore, he quickly fled an oncoming Woshua and Aaron so that he didn’t risk losing health.

He also ran from a Moldbygg, which appeared to be a stack of Moldsmals with an actual face. No more flirting for him, thank you very much.

After making his way through another light grass maze, Link found himself in a pitch-black room. He couldn’t see anything; touch was his only guide. Hesitantly and cautiously, Link shimmied along the closest wall, hyper-aware of every little sound and motion of air around him. He felt nothing, but his paranoia didn’t cease. After far too much time, he came across the stem of an echo flower.

“Behind you,” it said, in a voice that was painfully familiar. It repeated this phrase several times, until Link finally understood who it was mimicking.

Undyne.

The room lightened to reveal that Link had already drawn his blade. He processed that he was pinned at the end of a dead end. Quite ironic, considering the armor-wearing Royal Guardswoman that happened to be blocking the only exit and who was very intent on killing him. The swordsman instantly shifted into a defensive stance, knowing that his shorter blade couldn’t get through his adversary’s thick armor.

“Seven,” she growled. “Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king… King Asgore Dreemurr… will become a god. With that--”

“Why are you telling me this?” Link interjected suddenly, sweat pouring down his face. “You have me cornered and with no means of escape. Why aren’t you getting on with killing me already?”

Through the darkness, Link thought he could see Undyne blink. “You know what, you’ve got a point.”

A teal spear appeared out of the gloom and impaled the ground just inches in front of Link. Any semblance of awkwardness had disappeared. There was only the swordsman now. That lance had served its purpose in distracting Link, as Undyne was already flying through the air with another spear in her hands. The human ducked and shoved himself away from the wall, allowing the monster to come just shy of actually hitting him. Their weapons clashed, and Link quickly found that Undyne massively eclipsed him in terms of raw strength. He’d need some other way to best her. That armor had to be heavy… maybe he could tire her out somehow?

Link was ripped from his train of thought by the fact that he’d just backed up into a wall of spears. There would be no escape from this confrontation. Speaking of no escape, Link was now stuck in a corner-- even more so than just a few seconds ago. He had his back against the wall, a wall of spears on his right, and Undyne herself just a few feet in front of him. He desperately swung his blade, and he managed to hit her across the chest. Unfortunately, due to her armor, almost no damage was actually dealt.

Their blades clashed again, and Link fought to keep her spear away from his face, with every muscle in his body dedicated to the task. He was therefore shocked when he felt Undyne’s cold greaves snatch his collar and lift him three feet off of the ground. She was… quite a lot taller than he was, actually; she would have been even if Link had been an adult. With no leverage, his short blade was easily wrenched from his grip. He’d lost. There was no way he’d survive this now. The best thing to do now was to accept it. Sure, Navi would be displeased, but when wasn’t she? She’d left Link, after all.

There must have been something about Link’s resigned expression, bordering on contentment, that gave Undyne pause, because his sensitive Hylian ears detected the swing of her spear later than he expected. But come it did, and Link breathed out. He thought he would have shown more emotion when he died, but… what was the point?

Navi.

“Yo!” a voice rang out. “Undyne! I’ll help you fight!”

Silence.

“Yo! You did it! Undyne is touching you! You’ve got front-row seats to the fight!”

Link cracked an eye open, not remembering when he had closed it. A bit down the way, Monster Kid was standing there happily. Innocently.

Insultingly.

“Wait… who’s she fighting?”

Undyne promptly turned around and tossed Link bonelessly into a nearby wall. He was filled with slightly less pain than he expected, his health bar sitting at 144 out of 156. Wait, wasn’t his maximum higher than that? Link’s mind was too addled to properly react to this.

The clanking of Undyne’s boots could be heard alongside Monster Kid’s protests. She had grabbed him by the ear and was now marching him away from Link, out into the rest of Waterfall.

He wouldn’t get an opportunity like this again.

Silently thanking the Goddesses for sparing his life at this one time, Link quickly left the area and progressed upwards, listening to the conversation reiterated by the Echo Flowers.

Then he heard something, and froze. It sounded… painfully familiar. Cautiously, Link stepped back into the waist-deep waters and searched every single flower he could find, eventually discovering the one that had echoed her voice.

“Oh, Link… where are you? Where did you go?” Zelda’s voice pulsed. “Don’t you know how much we’re worried for you? Oh, Nayru… please help him…”

Her voice ended, and an entirely more sinister one took its place.

“Hee hee hee… as if,” Flowey’s twisted speech squealed. “They’ve forgotten all about you, up there on the surface. Nobody cares. They never did. They’re happier without you. You only held them back.”

Link couldn’t bear to hear more. He turned and ran. Just like how he ran from them to chase Navi. But that was different. He had to find Navi. Without her, he was nothing at all.

!0*0!

How was there wind in the Underground? Shouldn’t all the air remain stagnant? Either way, the wind was howling in Link’s ears as he crossed the thin, rickety bridge overlooking a vast chasm. Due to his low weight, any particularly powerful gusts almost succeeded in blowing the human off of the platform and into the dark depths below. He was almost across. Almost out of the danger zone.

“Yo!” a voice echoed loudly. Link whirled and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that it was the monster kid and not Undyne. “Yo, I know I’m not supposed to be here right now, but… I wanna ask you something. Man, I’ve never had to ask anyone this before… umm… You’re a human, right? Haha…”

Link nodded wordlessly.

“Man! I knew it! Well… I know it now, I mean… Undyne told me, um, ‘stay away from that human’. So, like, uh… I guess that makes us enemies or something. But I kind of stink at that, haha. Say something mean so that I can hate you? Please?”

Link shot the youth an unenthused glare. “No.”

“So I have to do it? Here goes nothing… Yo, I… I hate your guts.”

Link’s expression didn’t change.

“... Oh, I’m such a turd… I’m gonna go home now. My parents must be worried sick.”

He started to head back, but a particularly strong gust of wind pushed the child off of the bridge and into the darkness below. Uttering a quick cry of dismay, Link darted towards the site of the swan dive and-- to his relief and surprise-- Monster Kid was somehow managing to stay relatively close to the bridge. A remarkable feat, considering that he didn’t have arms.

“Yo, help! I tripped!”

The Hylian pressed himself into the bridge. “Take my hand!” he yelled, offering the child the hand that hadn’t been bitten by that stupid dog.

“With what? I don’t have hands!”

“I don’t know!” Link roared. “Just take it!”

A tight and sharp clamping sensation enveloped his wrist, and he looked down to see that Monster Kid had bitten his hand as a means to cling to it. Link had to commend him for his good problem-solving skills. It wasn’t strong enough to draw blood, but it was enough to defy gravity.

The rhythmic stomping of steel boots on the bridge instantly drew Link’s attention. He knew it was Undyne, eager to slay him and steal his soul. But alas, the Hylian couldn’t escape; Monster Kid’s weight was too much for him to pull back onto safe ground.

With a massive bout of strength, the Hero of Time managed to yank Monster Kid’s head above the ground, but couldn’t find the might within him to fully save the child. He had given it everything he had, sweat pouring down his skin in thick rivulets down every scrap of skin on his body. But it wasn’t enough.

Then the child’s weight lessened, down to nothing.

Link expected to hear the screams of Monster Kid’s falling form decrease in volume as he fell, but he heard no such thing. He cracked an eye open to see that very same child, still alive and well, standing confrontationally between him and the suit of armor.

“Y-yo…” he asserted, voice cracking. “If y-you wanna hurt my… my friend… you’ve gotta get through me first.”

Undyne said nothing. She was probably going to swing him over her shoulder like a sack and go for Link anyway. That’s what Link would have done in her situation. Interestingly, though, she slowly backed away, before disappearing from his sight entirely.

Link caught his breath. “She’s gone,” the child commented. “Yo, you really saved my skin. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, huh?”

Please. Link hadn’t saved him. He’d merely delayed the inevitable until Undyne could do the work.

“We’ll just have to be friends instead… man, I should really go home… I bet my parents are worried sick about me!”

“Hell if I know,” Link said. “I don’t have parents.”

The child didn’t know how to respond to that. “I… wow, that sucks,” he finally decided on. “See you around?”

Link responded with a thumbs up, as Monster Kid slowly retreated back towards Snowdin. The swordsman, however, didn’t follow. He had an Underground to escape.

Next chapter is the Undyne fight!

Review Please!

Chapter 9: Tied Down

Chapter Text

The as-promised Undyne Fight! Also, if I ever miss your review/comment/whatever, please tell me! I’d hate to accidentally miss a question or important feedback, especially if it’s got stuff on how I can improve as a writer!

RRRP:

RelykMasson10 (AO3): Good to see a long-time fan! I think the reason that I don’t get that many kudos and comments on AO3 is twofold. One, I have no idea how the tags system works. Two, I’ve been on FFnet for significantly longer than AO3 and I uploaded TOM to AO3 halfway through its posting cycle. I think it was chapter 6? If it had spent more time on the site, I think it-- and by proxy, me-- would have gotten more kudos and whatnot.

Swordmouse (AO3): Okay! I just got a little confused with the wording, sorry about that!

Guest (FF): That was the idea!

Spellflame (FF): I’m going to go with no.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): I’ve never actually used TV Tropes before… like, for anything. And you’re hardly an old idiot! I’m a young idiot, I know what I’m talking about, and you’re not anywhere near as dumb as I am!

Chapter 8

“Seven.”

Link could barely hear Undyne’s voice over the howling winds of Waterfall. The distance between the two may have had some part in it. Undyne was, after all, standing dramatically at the top of a small mountain, while Link was waiting at the bottom.

“Seven human souls, and King Asgore will become a god. Six. That’s how many we have collected thus far. Understand? Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed. First, however, as is customary for those who make it thus far… No. You know what? Screw it! Why should I tell that story when you’re about to die! Ngaaahhhhhhhhhh!”

She whipped off her helmet, and Link nearly had a heart attack.

Not another fish woman with very strong emotions towards him… he had had enough of that through Ruto. Hopefully Undyne wouldn’t want to marry him by the end of this.

Like a Zora, her skin was shaded blue and dotted with scales, but that was where the similarities ended. She had fins on each side of her head where the ears would normally be. Her mouth was filled with jagged spikes. The red tuft that Link had assumed to be hair was, in fact, a ponytail. She was also wearing an eyepatch that covered the left eyesocket.

“You!” she roared. “You’re standing in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams!”

That was a laugh. He’d only saved Hyrule, and Termina, after all. He’d only preserved the hopes and dreams of two entire populuses, although one of them was… really weird in terms of how Link would denote it.

“Alphys’s history books made me think humans were cool…” Undyne spat. “With their giant robots and flowery swordswomen.”

Wait, what robots? What flowery swordswomen? Now Link was just confused. They didn’t have any of that stuff in Hyrule… maybe it was from before the Demon War of old, where Demise and Hylia had fought over the Triforce? Most of history had been lost from that time, so it wasn’t impossible. Just extremely improbable. What was a ‘robot’, anyway? And what made a swordswoman ‘flowery’?

“But you? You’re just a sniveling weakling!” Undyne continued. “Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And you couldn’t even succeed in helping him! And let’s not forget your wimpy goody-little-two-shoes-schtick! Ooooh! I’m making such a difference by hugging random strangers! You know what would be more valuable to everyone? If you were dead! That’s right! Your continued existence is a crime!”

No, that couldn’t be it... could it?

Could it?

Damn it, she was right, wasn’t she? He really was the problem. Heck, if he hadn’t existed, Ganondorf would have never made it into the Sacred Realm. Tragedy wouldn’t have befallen everyone in Hyrule. He could have stopped it all-- if he’d just been dead.

“Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone’s hearts pounding as one. Everyone’s been waiting their whole lives for this moment. But we’re not nervous at all. When everyone puts their hearts together, they can’t lose! Now, human… let’s end this, once and for all! I’ll show you how determined monsters can be! Step forward when you’re ready! Fuhuhuhuhu!”

Yup. He could see where Papyrus had gotten his quirks from, if this was who he was training under.

Link made use of the Save Point that he’d somehow missed on his trek over to the rocky crags, before stepping forwards, heart beating at the calmest rate it had in a long time. The mask that hid his true self from the world was gone. Link the swordsman was all that was left.

And he was ready.

“That’s it, then! No more running away! Here I come!”

Undyne pounced from the top of the crag at breakneck speeds, colliding with Link in a heavy fashion before whisking them both into the Combat Plane. The fall had dealt damage to him, leaving him at only 115/135 health. Why was his health cap being so volatile?

Immediately, he felt Undyne’s spear phase straight through his body, and straight through his soul. At first glance, it didn’t appear to do anything. But then he noticed that his soul was a bright green.

And his feet were locked to the ground.

“As long as you’re green, you can’t escape!” Undyne explained. “Unless you learn to face danger head-on, you won’t last a second against me!”

“Okay, fair enough,” Link replied, Checking Undyne.

The dialogue box informed Link of her stats-- seven ATK, zero DEF. That was surprising. She was wearing a ton of armor for a reason, right?

Three spears appeared at a slight delay, emerging rather sluggishly from the north. It was rather easy to bring his sword into the path of the spears. They disintegrated into magic as soon as they made contact.

“That was it?” Link asked. “Seems pretty simple.”

According to the dialogue box, the spears were going to be faster now. Crud.

“Not half bad! Then how about this?” Undyne challenged, sending more spears his way. Again, Link found it rather simple to block. When was this going to get hard? If anything, it was only getting easier, as the Hylian found his rhythm on the battlefield. It was really the only place he could feel… normal anymore.

“For years, we’ve dreamed of a happy ending…” Undyne monologued, sending more spears at him from multiple directions. “And now, sunlight is within our reach!”

Assuming they didn’t all get eaten alive by the Wolfos, that is. Actually if the monsters ever did break out of the underground, that would be… problematic. The battlefield reeked of sashimi; it drowned out much of Link’s sense of smell.

Undyne was towering over him. “Yeah, I don’t think this is the way to go about it…” Link tried to persuade. Naturally, nothing happened.

“Ha! As if I’d let you snatch freedom away from us!” she yelled, throwing speedy spears at him. Link merely Spared her again. “Ngahhh! Enough warming up!” she declared, throwing more spears in his direction. The Hylian effortlessly deflected each of them, and his flow wasn’t disrupted at all when Undyne dropped her Green spell and threw one last spear at him. At long last, he could move his legs. Link instinctually pivoted, sensing intuitively that now was the optimal time to strike, and pounced blade-first on his opponent, dealing a devastating blow across her unarmored face. A number appeared-- 238,751-- which was accompanied by a green bar rapidly dissipating. The numbing flow of battle evaporated around Link, leaving nothing but shock in its wake.

“What the--” she got out, a shocked expression on her face. “How did… w-what the hell are you?”

She must have checked him. His stats were comparatively through the roof. Honestly, Link was just surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.

Oh wait, Sans.

“Heh… somehow, in just one hit, I’m already… already… d-damn it…”

Her body was starting to warp, her magic waning as she passed on. The Hero was glad he had just used the Save Point, and could reset as soon as he left the Combat Plane.

“Papyrus… Alphys… Asgore… Just like that, I… I’ve failed.”

Her whole body was consumed by her death throes, but she didn’t turn to dust. Odd. Then the warped shape spoke. “No…” she declared, her form restabilizing. “My body… it feels like I’m splitting apart… Like any instant, I’ll scatter into a million pieces. But deep, deep within my soul… there’s a burning feeling I can’t describe. A burning sensation that won’t let me die. This isn’t just about monsters anymore, is it? You… you’re just biding your time… going to kill us all when we’ve dropped our guard, because it’s easier for you… and if you get past me, you’ll kill everything. Not just monsters, but the humans too? Everyone’s hopes, everyone’s dreams; vanquished in an instant.”

Where was she going with this? At least Link hadn’t killed her.

“But I won’t let you do that,” she declared. “I was wrong earlier. Our hearts aren’t beating as one to be free. They’re pounding as one to kill you. Human… no, whatever you are… for the sake of the whole world… I, Undyne, will strike you down!”

A blinding light filled Link’s eyes, temporarily blinding him. He threw his arm in front of his face to block this brilliance, but even seconds after it faded, he could still see spots in his vision.

But he didn’t care about those. He was more worried about Undyne. She’d grown about two heads in the short time span from which he’d last seen her. Her armor had also changed dramatically, going from a simple chrome to a dark, brilliant purple that was adorned with brutal spikes. Dominating the chest was a crimson heart. Oh, and she’d lost her eyepatch, revealing nothing but darkness in its wake.

“You’re going to have to try a little harder than that,” she spat lowly. Link gulped. Curse his tranquility on the battlefield! The wind howled in his ears. What was he meant to do? Surely she wouldn’t spare him now. Was he meant to run away?

Evidently not, as Fleeing wasn’t even an option in the Spare menu. It was probably because his soul was green again. The swordsman opted to check his opponent, to see what had changed between this form and her last one. According to the dialogue box, she was the ‘heroine reformed by her own determination to save Earth’, and now possessed ninety-nine attack and defense. This was… quite not good.

Link braced himself for the oncoming onslaught, but was greeted only by three spears moving incredibly slowly towards his lime green Soul. Raising an eyebrow, he prepared to bat it aside. It was rather easy, in all honesty.

Then a barrage of lances spewed forth at him from all directions.

Panicking, Link attempted to whirl around and bat them all away. In his frenzied defense, he’d somehow managed to swat away the faster spears, but then got hit by the slow one. And they hurt, dealing twelve damage apiece.

Hooray, even less health to work with.

Regardless, Link took a minute to hunt for a way to end this peacefully. He hadn’t meant to hit her, it was all spur of the moment. Moreover, he didn’t expect her to go down in one hit.

And he absolutely hadn’t expected her to come back even stronger than before.

But he was determined, too. Determined to either make things right or reset and try again. As time went on, the second option became more and more appealing. But at the same time, he couldn’t flee and couldn’t reset in the Combat Plane… he’d have to kill her in order to reset. He might as well enjoy it while he could.

Besides, couldn’t he kill her in one hit?

He swung, hoping beyond hope that she would go down instantly so that he could go back in time. He scored a hit, but only dealt about 2,000 damage, not coming anywhere close enough to kill her, according to the health bar. A hail of slow-moving spears made itself apparent, swarming Link from all directions. He hastily flailed about in a bid to block the javelins, but was occasionally hit by the swarm.

Goodness, those hurt.

He processed that his soul had turned to its normal reddish-orange. But was it dimmer than usual? Maybe a bit. Shaking his head, Link searched for an option to flee. But despite the lack of magic holding him in place, he couldn’t exit. Someone was going to die before the reset.

And Link didn’t want to risk his death to find out if he could reset postmortem.

He attacked her again, but Undyne flawlessly danced out of the way of his attack. A new maelstrom of magic lances appeared and flung themselves at Link, who was forced to dodge and juke them as they came. He still got grazed by a few, leaving the Hylian sitting at 80 health total.

Link attacked once more, predicting Undyne’s effort to dodge and piercing through a chink in her armor right underneath the armpit. This attack dealt 2,001 damage, and Link was promptly crammed into a tiny Battle Box as a trio of sizeable spears manifested on the bottom and rammed into the top repeatedly. The next minute became a frantic sprint through the cramped space, trying to dodge the spears as they appeared.

The following attack spread Link’s range of movement, thankfully, as circles of spears formed around him and spiraled inwards. The motions required here had to be delicate; go too far or too fast, and Link would be cut into by another set of spears. It went on for far longer than it had any right to.

The wind was still howling, buffeting Link but seeming to not affect Undyne at all. This was saying a lot, as his soul was green. “Is there no way you’ll accept mercy?” Link dared to ask.

“Mercy? From you?” she growled. “Maybe you should have given mercy to all the people you murdered.”

He took that as a no, and sliced at her as powerfully as he could. Somehow, he managed to do less damage than usual. Navi would have been displeased.

Whatever sense of normalcy he had managed to attain was lost in that instant. It was shattered into a million pieces. His blade slipped out of his hands. Just the thought of his beloved fairy companion-- who was the whole reason he was here-- was enough to bring Link to tears. He couldn’t fight like this. Undyne was most certainly going to kill him.

“Navi…” he croaked, nearly silently.

But nobody came.

Pain slammed into his body as the royal guardswoman attacked him yet again. Link hadn’t even bothered to try and avoid it. His face must have made the rest of Waterfall look like a light drizzle.

Was that why she had left? Because she knew he wasn’t worthy of her? But that couldn’t be right. They’d been through so much together. They’d literally grown up together. She was his everything. She had cared about him. She had to have cared. Right?

Right?

“Can Hyrule’s fate really depend on such a lazy boy?” Belittling him.

“We don’t have time for this!” Belittling him.

“Hey! Listen!” Belittling him.

“Maybe Saria will know where the Spiritual Stone of Water is!” Belittling him.

“...” Belittling him.

What if she was actively trying to not be found?

What if she hated him?

What if she always had?

“Your tears won’t save you!” Undyne hollered, bringing Link drunkenly back to the fight. He was down to just a few points of health. Link’s newfound magic thrummed within him a little stronger.

“I… don’t… want them to,” Link choked, hanging his head. If Navi didn’t want him, what purpose did he have? He was useless. Like all the trash at the bottom of the waterfall.

He let the spears close in. He breathed out as they made contact with his flesh. It felt… good. And it was accompanied by a happy little noise that Link had most certainly heard before… where was it… ah yes, the Ruins! With the Vegetoid and its green vegetables! But they were spears… why had Undyne spared him? This was the last thing Link had expected.

He suddenly felt extremely exhausted, sweat pouring down his face in thick rivers. They certainly hadn’t been there before. Odd. Even more strangely, his magic was completely depleted, although he could feel it starting to recreate itself within his core. Undyne was raising an eyebrow, seemingly just as confused as Link was.

“Uh… why did you spare me?” he asked, struggling to keep from sniffling.

“I didn’t,” Undyne replied flatly before ripping him open from neck to navel.

Death felt more numb than he had thought it would be.

!0*0!

Link made use of the Save Point that he’d somehow missed on his trek over to the rocky crags, before stepping forwards, heart beating at the calmest rate it had in a long time. The mask that hid his true self from the world was gone. Link the swordsman was all that was left.

And he was--

The memory of his past life, and subsequent death, slammed into him at full force. He had a crystal-clear recollection of every agonizing instant of fighting Undyne, and he made a note to not attack her. The Hylian stowed Link the swordsman away, but thought better of it. He was still Link the swordsman. He always had been.

Maybe he always would be.

And… that was okay. The kill-or-be-killed mentality had kept him alive on the surface, but it simply wasn’t needed in the Underground. Maybe instead of keeping it at bay, he just needed to adapt and use his augmented reaction times to spare monsters more efficiently.

Reassured, Link confidently stepped forwards. All he had to do was not think of Navi, and he’d be fine.

Wait, he’d just thought of Navi.

Emotion came unbidden to the forefront of his mind, his throat beginning to actively hurt. No, he’d just died because of stuff like this. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t.

But then why did he keep coming back to Navi?

“That’s it, then! No more running away! Here I come!”

Undyne pounced from the top of the crag at breakneck speeds, colliding with Link in a heavy fashion before whisking them both into the Combat Plane. The fall had dealt damage to him, leaving him once again at a lower percentage of his own health.

Immediately, he felt Undyne’s spear phase straight through his body, and straight through his soul, turning it green and freezing him in place.

“As long as you’re green, you can’t escape!” Undyne explained. “Unless you learn to face danger head-on, you won’t last a second against me!”

“Okay, fair enough,” Link replied, immediately mashing the Spare button.

Three spears appeared at a slight delay, emerging rather sluggishly from the north. It was rather easy to bring his sword into the path of the spears. They disintegrated into magic as soon as they made contact.

“Not half bad! Then how about this?” Undyne challenged, sending more spears his way. Again, Link found it rather simple to block. When was this going to get hard? If anything, it was only getting easier, as the Hylian found his rhythm on the battlefield. It was really the only place he could feel… normal anymore. He made sure to stifle his instinct to kill.

“For years, we’ve dreamed of a happy ending…” Undyne monologued, sending more spears at him from multiple directions. “And now, sunlight is within our reach! I won’t let you snatch it away from us!”

The battlefield reeked of sashimi; it drowned out much of Link’s sense of smell. Fortunately, he didn’t need to sniff out the brightly glowing lances from the darkness. He could easily feel the vibrations of the air as they approached, see their magical luminescence out of the corner of his eye, and hear them swishing through the gloom from all sides.

“Ngahhh! Enough warming up!” Undyne again declared, turning Link’s soul back to normal before tossing a singular normal spear his way. Breathing out, the Hero of Time unsheathed his blade and sprung at her, sword raised over his head and ready to be brought down.

She brought her own weapon up to block, but found nothing to deflect as Link landed directly in front of the royal guardswoman and punched her in the face with his right hand. It wasn’t his dominant hand, so the attack was extremely weak. Still, it managed to do a solid fifteen damage to her. But that wasn’t the point. She was startled.

Link took the opportunity to sprint past her into the subterranean mountain on which she had once been standing. Unfortunately, he suffered from not being an adult of seventeen years… or was it sixteen? Eighteen? He couldn’t honestly say. The point was, he was short, and had short legs that didn’t propel him as quickly as he would have liked. This meant that Undyne was easily able to outpace him and turn his soul green again, preventing his escape.

He never could run away from his problems.

“You won’t get away from me this time!” she declared, pounding her fist into the ground dramatically. According to the dialogue box, she was thinking about her friends while doing so. “Honestly, I’m doing you a favor. No human has ever made it past Asgore!”

A singular, very slow spear appeared to the east. Link fully expected a hailstorm of other spears to appear from other directions, and that this was a distraction. He predicted this correctly, and managed to fully reflect all of Undyne’s spears without so much as a scratch.

This was so much easier than fighting her last reset.

“Killing you now is an… act of mercy!” the fish woman asserted, suplexing a large boulder for no discernable reason. She was getting impatient, probably dissatisfied with the lack of damage Link had sustained thus far. “So stop being so damn resilient!”

Was her eye twitching? Yes, yes it was. Also, the spears were yellow now. Link correctly assumed that they would do something different from the blue ones, but was genuinely surprised when they spun around his body and attacked him from behind. Actually, he had seen this before, hadn’t he? During the last fight with Undyne… yes, that was where. Although, he’d been too busy realizing Navi’s hatred for him to process it.

Oh for the love of Farore, he’d just done it again. He told himself to focus, in vain. Navi still surged to the forefront of his mind, seizing all of his consciousness and distracting him from the fight at large. The Hylian forced himself to turn away, focusing on the matter of life and death directly in front of him. Don’t worry about the ugly truth now, he internally screamed. Concentrate on the here and now. You can worry about her afterwards. Do something right for once in your Goddess-forsaken life.

Vaguely, Link processed that his Soul was back to its normal dim cross between orange and red. He immediately fled the battle, dashing away from Undyne and further into the stone pathway. There was a massive illuminated sign that read ‘Welcome to Hotland!’ in fluorescent red and green text. It slid along the wall somehow, but he couldn’t take the time to appreciate it, as Undyne had engaged in combat with him again.

“You’ve escaped from me for the last time!” she hollered, clearly furious. “Alphys told me humans were determined… guess this is what she meant! But I’m determined too! Determined to end this right now!”

She drew a finger across her neck in the universal ‘I’m going to kill you’ gesture. To be quite frank, Link’s body had been on autopilot the whole time, flawlessly deflecting and dodging each and every attack Undyne attempted. “Uh huh,” he replied noncommittally.

He dodged another attack, this time actually managing to get hit exactly once.

“Right… now!”

Another attack went by.

“Ngaahhh! Die already, you little brat!”

A slew of yellow spears arced towards him, and despite their counterclockwise pattern, Link still was duped by it the first go around. He quickly got back on his feet and deflected the rest, but then Undyne removed his magic and he was sprinting away again.

His phone buzzed. Oddly enough, Undyne also gave pause, allowing Link to reply.

“HEY! WHAT’S UP!” Papyrus greeted. Of all the times he decided to call...

“Not a good time, Pap!” Link yelled, and he could hear the royal guardswoman holler the same thing. “Just… leave me a message!”

He hung up and returned to his mad dash away from Undyne. Unfortunately, she had gained on him significantly during Papyrus’s distraction, and yanked him back into the Combat Plane.

“Stop running away!” she screamed. Interestingly, in her fury she had forgotten to turn his soul green, so the Hylian just ran away again. Part of him felt devastated at his wounded pride, but the majority of his psyche didn’t care. As long as he got out of here alive, and Undyne got out of here alive, he wasn’t quite as furious at himself.

He dashed out of the tunnel and immediately broke out in sweat. He looked around and processed that yes, that was magma beneath his feet, like in Dodongo’s Cavern all that time ago. How had he gotten here from Waterfall so quickly? It didn’t make sense!

Then again, something that made even less sense was Sans’s sentry station sitting by the lavaside, with the aforementioned skeleton sleeping inside. Even stranger, there was somehow still snow on the roof of the station. They were right next to the lava! How hadn’t it melted yet?

At the very least, Undyne seemed just as confused as Link was. She stopped her pursuit in front of the dozing monster, fury overwhelming her features as she quickly castigated him. Link crossed a small wooden bridge that somehow wasn’t on fire and was planning to go even further, but was stopped by the sound of his pursuer’s ragged breathing, and the slowing of her footsteps.

“Armor… so… hot…” she panted. “But I can’t… give up…”

She stumbled forwards, just off of the bridge, before collapsing under the weight of her garb. It had overheated her, like an oven. That didn’t seem like a nice way to go, and besides, Link was actively avoiding killing her. He respected her as a fighter and as a person too much for that. She was determined and a worthy adversary.

Then again, the same could be said of Ganondorf, and Link hadn’t shown him any mercy. But with Undyne, it was different. She had wanted to play it fair, and even explained how things worked when his soul was green. Ganondorf just wanted him dead, and was happy to use every dirty trick in the proverbial book to do so. Plus, their motives were different. Undyne killed because she wanted freedom for her people. Ganondorf killed for his own selfish purposes. He supposed that it was that sense of intent, of motive, that made the difference.

Either way, he had to help Undyne. He rummaged through his pack, but found nothing that would help cool down the royal guardswoman. The Hero of Time perused his surroundings, and noticed a white box holding a large cylinder containing-- water! That would cool her down!

There were two levers attached to the box-- one red, one blue. Remembering his time with Toriel in the Ruins, Link recalled that red on this sort of thing typically heated whatever was passing through it, so he picked the blue tap and pulled. To his joy, water spewed forth and hit the reddish earth, where it quickly turned to steam. How was he supposed to carry it? If only he had a cup or something…

Oh, there was a container of paper glasses attached to the apparatus! He yanked on the bottommost one, but in his haste, all of them fell out and onto the floor. That was fine; he only needed the one. He filled it to the brim with water and swiftly walked to Undyne’s prone form, careful to not let too much of it splash out. Unceremoniously, the Hero dumped the contents onto the fish woman’s face before dashing back for another fill. However, she had already stood up, the single glass’s worth evidently being enough to cool her down.

“You need another one?” Link asked, offering her another glass.

She said nothing. She took a step backwards, away from the Hylian, before pivoting on her heel and marching the other way.

And there you go. This chapter was fun to write, so I hope it was fun to read as well!

Review Please!

Chapter 10: Burning Down

Chapter Text

We’re back! Today’s installment: The Undyne Hangout!

RRRP:

Spellflame (FF): Yeah, I thought so too.

Swordmouse (AO3): Thanks! I’ve never actually done it before, so I’m happy to hear it!

Guest (FF): I can’t tell you, because that ruins the air of mystery. But yes, he is watching.

Chapter 9

“Bah! Today’s monsters just don’t appreciate what makes puzzles great!” the elderly mushroom monster complained. “Nowadays ‘puzzles’ are nothing but lasers and moving rocks… there’s no art in that actiony, mindless schlock! Just timing-based drivel! Give me something that challenges the deepest reaches of my mind. You! You’re young! You can--”

“Uh, what’s a laser?”

The wizened eyes widened. “Perfect, an untainted mind! You’ve still got hope! Here! Try this block-pushing puzzle!”

Link eyed the small wooden box across a short gap. “And… what am I trying to solve?”

Evidently, this was the wrong thing to say. “Bah, forget it! This generation really is hopeless!”

Not understanding any of the previous events, Link walked past, towards Undyne’s house. Papyrus had invited him there to ‘hang out’ with her, which the Hylian actually did want to do. He wanted to at least reconcile with Undyne, if he couldn’t be friends with her. Part of it was pragmatic; if they weren’t quite at odds anymore, she would be less inclined to murder him and take his soul, like she’d been trying to do for much of the time. More of it was emotional; he genuinely liked her personality and her devotion to her friends and people. Maybe it all came with the title of ‘hero’. Link knew it applied to himself.

The rest of his sojourn passed in relative calm. He wasn’t stopped by anyone, nobody tried to fight him. He merely got to thoroughly enjoy the natural, serene beauty of Waterfall. And it was beautiful.

He found his way back to the fish-shaped building tucked away by Napstablook’s house, where a Stalfos was waiting. Link tensed before realizing that it was Papyrus, upon which he calmed down rather quickly.

“Papyrus, how have you been?” Link greeted with as little awkwardness as he could. He failed miserably.

“I HAVE BEEN AMAZING, HUMAN!” the tall skeleton replied happily. “ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE? I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!’

Hopefully, he wouldn’t make her think of him like Ruto once had… then again, this was Papyrus he was talking about. He’d be fine, hopefully.

“Does it have anything to do with the bone in your hands?”

“WHY, YES OF COURSE!” Papyrus revealed, handing Link the very same bone javelin he had carved when he had stayed in Snowdin with the skeleton brothers.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

“EXCELLENT! STAND BEHIND ME! AND MAKE SURE YOU GIVE HER THAT!”

Papyrus rapped on the mouth of the fish with his gauntleted hand. It slid open to reveal Undyne, without the battle armor. She was wearing a black shirt and dark blue pants.

“Hey, Papyrus! Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?”

Wait, he was sacrificing his own training to be a royal guard-- something that Papyrus had always strived for-- so that Link and Undyne could become friends? Wow. How had Link ever thought the skeleton was a Stalfos?

“YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!” Papyrus said, strolling out of the way between Link and his former opponent.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve…” Undyne started, but trailed off when she realized who Link was.

“Uh… hi…”

She glared vehemently at Papyrus. “Why don’t. You two. Come in?”

She retreated into her home, and Papyrus soon followed, hands shaking in unfettered joy. Link swallowed his fear before entering. The interior was quite nice, very spacious. The floors were a tiled gold and blue, and the walls were coated in small pink fish decorations. Cooking appliances lined the furthest wall. There was also a massive sword at least ten feet tall lying on the floor opposite a medium-sized table. It was quite cozy.

“HERE, UNDYNE! MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FROM YOU ON THEIR OWN!”

Hesitantly, Link revealed his bone javelin. Undyne raised an eyebrow, taking it and testing its weight, its balance.

“How’d you make this?” she asked, unnaturally calm.

“I stayed over at Papyrus’s for a night,” Link explained. “I whittled it from one of his spare bones with my sword. Yes, I’m really good at whittling.”

“I’ll say,” she sighed. “The weight distribution is a bit off, it’s fragile, and it’s really missing the core element of a handle, but, er… thanks. I’ll, um… put it with the others.”

She opened a drawer filled with unwhittled bones, set the javelin on top, and closed it again. How many of Papyrus’s gifts were in there?

“So, are we ready to start?” she asked. Link couldn’t tell if she was actually calm, or if she was just pretending to be. He wasn’t the best at reading people outside of a combat setting.

“WHOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED!” Papyrus exclaimed. “I… HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!”

With that, Papyrus sprinted to the left and threw himself out the window, glass shattering. Link yelped at the sudden noise, left hand instinctively drifting to his blade before he calmed himself again. His breathing remained heavy.

“Does he… always do that?” Link panted.

“No,” Undyne confessed. “He usually sticks the landing. But anyway, why are you here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? Is that it?”

“N-no,” Link stammered. “I just--”

“Then why are you here?” She paused. “Wait, I get it. You think that I’m going to be friends with you, is that it? Right?”

“I mean… if you want to,” the Hylian got out. “I wouldn’t try to force anything on you, but if you wanted to be friends, I wouldn’t object.”

“Really? How delightful! I accept!”

“That’s oka-- wait, what?” Link said, stumbling over his own words. He hadn’t honestly expected anyone to deem him worthy of anything, much less the status of friend.

“Let’s all frolick in the fields of friendship… not! Why would I ever be friends with you?”

That made more sense. Link raised an eyebrow. “Why would anyone?”

Undyne just blinked.

“I mean, everyone I know goes away in the end,” he explained. “Just when I connect with anyone, bam. They’re gone. Just like that, for one reason or another.”

She scoffed furiously. “You’re trying to guilt-trip me into being your friend? Wow, I thought you were pathetic before! If you weren’t my houseguest, I’d beat you up right now! You’re the enemy of everyone’s hopes and dreams! I will never be your friend. Now get out of my house.”

Link deflated. “Okay,” he sighed. “Honestly, it’s probably for the best. This way, I can’t let you down.”

He turned to leave, but was cut off by none other than the monster cannonball from earlier peeking through the shattered remains of the window.

“DANG, WHAT A SHAME,” Papyrus lamented. “I REALLY THOUGHT UNDYNE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. BUT I GUESS I OVERESTIMATED HER. SHE’S JUST NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE.”

“Challenge? Challenge?” Undyne repeated as the skeleton scampered away. “Papyrus, wait a second!”

No response.

“Darn it! He thinks I can’t be friends with you? Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a jumpy loser like you any day! Listen up, nerd. We’re not just going to be friends. We’re going to be besties!”

Oh dear Goddesses, what had he gotten himself into?

“I’m going to make you like me so much, you won’t be able to think of anyone else! Fuhuhuhu! It’s the perfect revenge!” She clasped her hands in front of her. “So why don’t you take a seat?”

“I’d like to get my bearings first, if that’s alright with you,” Link confessed, tugging at his collar. “Why is it so hot in here?”

“It’s probably my fridge,” Undyne explained after a slight pause, eye temporarily locked onto his neck. There was a spark of recognition for a half-instant, but it was gone so quickly that Link wasn’t sure if it had actually happened.. “See, I hate cold food. So Alphys fixed up my fridge so that it heats food up instead! Hot Fridge… the world’s greatest invention!”

She laughed a bit. Link joined in politely, feigning amusem*nt. “Now, what’s up with this sword? I remember from the fight that you were more into spears.”

“That’s a memento from Alphys,” she said. “Humans suck, but their history kind of rules. Case in point: the giant sword. Historically, humans wielded swords up to ten times their own height! Right?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Link replied, shrugging. “Most of Hylian history was lost after the Demon War, so it very well may be the truth. But it doesn’t seem very practical to me.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’ve read all of Alphys’s human history books! I know all about your giant swords, your colossal alien-fighting machines, your supernatural princesses…”

“Oh, we actually have a supernatural princess,” Link said. “Her name is Zelda. She’s about my age, but she’s way better than magic. I can’t do it without a conduit of some kind…”

Couldn’t he? Then what about the green spears?

“Huh,” Undyne commented. “I’ll have to reread Alphys’s books, and see if there’s any mention of this ‘Demon War’ you were talking about. Maybe we can cross-reference it?”

“I’d like that,” Link admitted bashfully. “Oh, I didn’t know you played piano!”

“It’s an old hobby…”

“Haven’t seen one of these in… wait, there was that one further in Waterfall, never mind. Whatever. I’m better with an ocarina, but here goes.”

After cracking his knuckles, Link delicately coaxed the Song of Healing from the piano’s strings. It didn’t have the same cleansing power as it had in Termina, but that hardly detracted from its haunting beauty. He knew he missed a note here and there, but all in all, he wasn’t unhappy with his impromptu performance. It felt… good. Its healing properties were obviously not present, but something in Link still felt soothed.

As the serenade ended, he looked up to see Undyne glancing at him. “Not half bad,” she complimented, seemingly genuinely. The Hero of Time awkwardly stumbled away from the piano, not having intended to go as far as he had. “Lemme show you what a real hero can do!”

She aggressively slammed her fingers into the piano keys, weaving a brutally quick tune that was unfamiliar to Link. It sounded nice; like something Undyne would actually play.

He took the initiative to clap politely when she finished.

“Now, why don’t you take a seat?” Undyne suggested, an idea that Link followed, setting himself on a stool in such a way that he could easily run away if he had to. It was an old habit.

Undyne walked over to the fridge, and set out a number of different things on the adjacent counter, including a box of different teas, a cylinder of sugar, something that read ‘hot chocolate’, and a sickly-looking gold liquid that spontaneously created its own bubbles.

“All set! What would you like!” Undyne asked.

Link moved to prepare himself something, but before he could process what was happening, his dominant hand had moved to unsheathe his sword and his breathing had accelerated drastically. This bout of panic had been caused by Undyne summoning a spear and throwing it into the center of the table, shattering it.

The Hylian relaxed his hand, but kept it on the hilt, unsure of whether or not more spears would be coming. He took a second to force himself to calm down.

“Hey! Don’t get up!” Undyne demanded. “You’re the guest! Sit down and enjoy yourself!”

She realized her error upon realizing Link’s nearly-panicking stature and quickly made to amend. “Er, why not just point to the thing you want? You can use the spear!”

Hesitantly, Link forced his left hand to let go of the blade and pick up the haft of the lance, instantly directing it towards the box of tea.

“Tea? Coming right up!” Undyne said, swiftly fashioning the beverage in a surprisingly calm fashion. Soon enough, Link was cradling a fish-shaped cup full of the brown liquid. He took a sip. It was scalding hot, but otherwise pretty good. “It’s pretty good, right? Nothing but the best for my absolutely precious friend!”

Link nodded.

“You know, it’s kind of strange you chose that tea,” Undyne said, looking off to the side. “Golden flower tea… that’s Asgore’s favorite kind. Actually, now that I think about it, you kind of remind me of him. You’re both total weenies!”

She laughed for a few seconds before noticing the Hero’s unenthused expression, at which she paused. “Sort of.”

They sat in silence for some time. Link had to admit it was nice.

“Y’know, I was a pretty hotheaded kid,” the fish monster confessed suddenly. “Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on tried. I couldn’t land so much as a finger on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! Like you, during our battle. I was so humiliated… Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy. ‘Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?’ I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. But I felt… bad. And yet he was beaming… I had never seen someone so happy to get their butt kicked. Anyways, long story short, he kept training me, and now I’m the head of the Royal Guard! So I’m the one who gets to train dorks how to fight! Like, uh, Papyrus.”

“You’re lucky,” Link said. “Where I grew up… well, it’s a long story. But I didn’t have anyone like that. I had to figure it all out by myself.”

He coughed awkwardly. He’d said too much. Fortunately, Undyne didn’t seem to want to pry. But, to be safe, Link changed the subject. “So, Papyrus.”

“To be honest, I don’t think I could ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard,” the royal guardswoman confessed. “Don’t tell him I said that! He’s just, well… I mean, it’s not that he’s weak. He’s actually pretty tough! But he’s just too innocent and nice! He was supposed to capture you, and ended up befriending you instead. I could never send him into battle! He’d get ripped into little smiling shreds!”

“I disagree,” Link replied. “Papyrus is kind, sure, but… I think he could handle it. Worst case scenario, he gets exposed to the reality and decides that he wants to do something else. But you have to give him a chance to decide what he wants. I never got that.”

He was thrust into the role of hero twice, both without his consent. If anyone knew what they were talking about, it was him.

“There’s another reason. Most of the Royal Guard is made up of dogs… and Papyrus is a skeleton… made of bones… you can see where the problem lies…”

“Ah,” Link nodded. “That would be an issue.”

“That’s part of why I’m teaching him how to cook. So he can have more options, and do something else with his life…”

A spark of realization crossed Undyne’s face.

“Papyrus… his cooking lesson was supposed to be right now! And if he’s not here to have it, you’ll have to have it for him!”

Hang on a second. How had he gone from sitting with Undyne and talking to suddenly this?

She flung herself into the air and landed on top of the counter on the other side of the room. She violently kicked all of the beverages onto the floor, where they smashed and shattered, leaving a mess.

“That’s right! Nothing has brought me and Papyrus closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson, we’ll become closer than you could ever imagine!” Undyne then leapt across the room to where Link was panicking and plucked him up off the ground by the end of his Kokiri cap. He still wore it out of a force of habit, even if he didn’t much care for it. Regardless, she then jumped over to the counter and set him down again. “Fuhuhu! Afraid? We’re going to be best friends and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

The Hylian tried to force himself to stop hyperventilating and failed miserably. Inside his head, he was screaming in terror. Even though the situation had nothing to do with his many, many battles, this controlless manhandling still put him extremely on edge.

“Let’s start with the sauce!” Undyne yelled encouragingly, aggressively stamping her foot. From the upper echelons of the room, a plethora of different vegetables and a banana descended flawlessly. They landed on the counter, without even so much as a bruise. “Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now! Pound them to dust with your fists!”

“I’ve got a better idea,” Link suggested calmly, grabbing a tomato with his right hand and tossing it into the air. He then unsheathed his blade with his left hand and cleanly sliced the flying ingredient three times-- one for each axis. By the time the tomato fell back into his grasp, it was cut into eight identical shards, which then promptly fell apart. Not knowing what to do with it now, the Hero of Time set it on the table and chopped it some more.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Undyne cheered. “Our hearts are uniting against these healthy ingredients! Now it’s my turn!” She promptly punched the remaining vegetables so hard that they splattered against the wall, spraying both of their faces with goopy red liquid. Link froze, still very distinctly remembering how Ganon’s puke-green blood had splattered on his face in quite a similar way. Undyne must have noticed his awkwardness, as she grinned sheepishly. “Uhh, we’ll just scrape this into a bowl later. But for now…!”

She stomped again, but this time, a cardboard box and a metal pot fell perfectly onto the stove. “We add the noodles!” Undyne finished, dragging Link to the stovetop. “Homemade noodles are the best! But I just buy store brand! They’re the cheapest! Ngaaahhhhhhhhhh!”

Link looked at Undyne derisively.

“Uh, just put them in the pot,” she eventually explained.

Delicately, the swordsman snatched the box of what appeared to be long, thin, beige sticks before hacking one end open with the tip of his blade. He then unceremoniously dumped the contents into the pot.

“Nice!” she applauded. “Now it’s time to stir the pasta! As a general rule, the more you stir, the better it is!”

Oh Goddesses, they were making that horrible abomination. Link silently offered a prayer to Farore begging her to not force him to eat another bite of the stuff.

“Ready! Let’s do it!” Undyne hollered, taking Link’s wrists and setting them on a large wooden spoon, ignoring the sudden tensing of his hands. Swallowing, he began to gyrate the spoon around in the water, stirring the uncooked pasta about in the bowl.

“Harder!” she yelled. Link obliged. “Harder!” He was nearing the end of his strength. “Harder!” He almost knocked the pot over, but managed to add a bit more velocity to his stirring. ‘Ugh, let me do it!” she finally declared, pushing Link away before aggressively stabbing the bowl with a magic spear at speeds that Link simply couldn’t parallel. By the time she was done, the pot had dented almost beyond recognition.

“Fuhuhuhu! That’s the stuff!” she said, obviously having way too much fun with this. Link bounced on the balls of his toes nervously, trying as desperately as he could to not devolve into a blubbering mess. He had to bottle this up. He couldn’t afford to let anyone see how much his insides were gnawing themselves into oblivion with guilt and self-piteous fury. “Alright, now for the final step: Turn up the heat! Let the stovetop symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! Ready?”

“I don’t have any of those,” Link stated in complete seriousness.

Undyne started to holler something, but was taken aback. “You-- wha-- never mind! Just turn it up as high as you can go! Don’t hold anything back!”

Shrugging, Link twisted a knob on the stove that he hoped corresponded to heat. Fortunately, his guess was correct, as a large crimson flame made itself known below the remains of the pot.

“Hotter!” the royal guardswoman urged.

“Are you crazy! The pot is starting to melt!” Link countered. Indeed, the pot was beginning to cave and warp near the bottom, where it was almost wholly consumed by flames.

“Hotter, dammit!” she screamed enthusiastically. By this point, the fire came up to Link’s head. The pot was history; it was wholly consumed without so much as a second thought.

“HOTTER!” she demanded, before realizing something. The fire was easily as tall as she was by now. “Wait, that’s too--”

And then there was deafening noise, and Link’s vision was consumed by white.

!0*0!

Link groaned as he came to, all too conscious of the scalding heat all around him. Groggily, he looked around him. Undyne’s once-cozy home was wreathed in flames. Soot caked his fingers. In fact, the only thing that didn’t appear to be on fire was the stove, although the pot that had once rested upon it was burnt to a crisp.

“Ah,” a voice sounded. Link visually scoured the room until he caught sight of Undyne herself. She was near unrecognizable from the charred ash covering her body. “Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking… So, what’s next? Friendship bracelets? Scrapbooking?”

“Undyne, the house is on fire,” Link reminded. To accentuate his point, a new flame broke out by the hot fridge.

Her smile slowly fell off of her face. “Oh, who am I kidding. I really screwed this up, didn’t I? I can’t force you to like me, human. Some people just don’t get along with each other. I understand if you feel that way about me. And if we can’t be friends…”

“Why can’t we?” Link blurted. “This was a blast.” He paused. “Literally. It was more fun than anything I’ve done in a long while.”

Undyne blinked, evidently surprised. “But maybe it’s for the best,” she reconsidered. “Because… if we’re not friends…” An evil grin formed on her face. “It means I can destroy you without regret!”

A brilliant teal spear formed in her hands, and Link was yanked forcibly into the Combat Plane. “I’ve been defeated… my house is in ruins… I even failed to befriend you. That’s it. I don’t care if you’re my houseguest anymore!

“One final rematch!” she demanded. “All out on both sides! It’s the only way I can regain my lost pride! Now come on! Hit me with everything you’ve got!”

Link didn’t even realize that he’d drawn his sword and had instantly settled into a fluid stance until he was throwing himself at Undyne point-first. A strangled ‘no!’ forced itself out of his mouth, and the Hylian desperately swerved his blade out of the way. Unfortunately, he was too late, and he managed to graze Undyne’s shoulder. Great. Now he’d have to reset and do this all over again.

Nothing he did ever mattered, anyway.

!0*0!

The Hero of Time was fully expecting to hear the saddening whooshing noise of Undyne’s form dissipating, as it had done during his first fight with her. But he heard no such thing. He waited. But the only sound in the building was the flickering flames and a triumphant “I knew it!”

Hesitantly, Link turned to see Undyne staring at him almost pitifully. Above her head, a single number ‘1’ was visible. Oh, thank the Goddesses he hadn’t killed her.

“Look, human… I don’t actually want to hurt you. When I first saw you, you batted away my spear with… too much ease. You’ve been jumpy and stressed out this whole time… and you know what? It mirrors something a lot of the surviving monsters had had after we first got locked down here… they called it ‘post-traumatic stress’. I’ve seen my fair share of it from the Guard, and Gerson. You… fit the bill for it perfectly. I can see the scars beneath your tunic. Even your soul matches; it’s too dim compared to all the other human souls I’ve seen. You’ve lost a lot of HOPE. And if you’re anything like those monsters, you also blame yourself for it. You have trouble sleeping. You have flashbacks to it… the whole nine yards.”

Link frantically adjusted his collar. He hadn’t noticed that those old cuts were visible. For the umpteenth time, he lamented the loss of the shirt his adult form had worn underneath. He’d gotten around to buying a pair of shorts for underneath his tunic, but hadn’t the time nor Rupees for the rest of the ensemble.

“For the monsters, it helped to talk to someone about it,” Undyne continued. “Human. I know we’re not the closest, but… if you wanted to talk to me, I’m here. And where did you get all those scars? You’re just a kid! I’ll--”

“Am I a child, Undyne?” Link asked abruptly. “Just Check me.”

It was a gamble. Sans had wanted to kill him over it, but Undyne…

She looked through him in some sort of trance before staggering backwards, expression revealing her horror. “Kid, what the f*ck. How-- why--”

Well, the royal guardswoman hadn’t stabbed him yet. All in all, this was going pretty well. “There are monsters on the surface,” Link blurted. “But they’re… not like you. They don’t feel. They don’t accept mercy. They just want to kill. And the only way to get around that is to kill them before they can kill you. I… learned that the hard way.”

“But why?”

“On the surface, I’m the hero nobody remembers,” Link confessed. “The monsters served a greater evil. A human. He wanted…”

The memories swarmed him, consuming his thoughts and banishing his consciousness to the corner of his brain. And it was like he was there, clashing blades against the pig demon that Ganondorf had become, standing over the ruins of the destroyed tower as the wind and rain lashed at his adult face. He would have died, several times, on that day had it not been for the fairies he had kept on his person.

He’d sent them all away after Navi left. They reminded him of her.

“I… have to go,” Link croaked, hoarse from all the screaming he’d probably been doing and cheeks wet from the tears that must have been cascading down his face. The Hero wasted no time in flinging himself out of the burning house and away, away, out of Waterfall, to the place where Undyne couldn’t follow.

Hotland.

PTSD Link is so depressing to write. Poor boy.

Review Please!

Chapter 11: Ticking Down

Chapter Text

Time to go to Hotlands!

RRRP:

Swordmouse (AO3): Misery is comfortable, so that’s why everyone sticks with it. Happiness takes effort.

Guest (FF): Thank you! I did a lot of research!

A person (AO3): Tuesdays and Fridays, although timing is variable.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): Yup, that about sums it up! Navi doesn’t make a direct appearance in HL, unfortunately, because why would she?

Frosted Shade (FF): Maybe. Maybe not. I can’t say.

Chapter 10

Why was there a massive white building in the middle of this place? Why was it giving off such a foreboding aura? And more importantly, why was Link indirectly being forced to go into it?

According to the sign emblazoned on its front, this edifice was dubbed a ‘laboratory’, whatever that was. There was no parallel to draw from Hyrule in this regard. Had there ever been?

Probably not.

If the Hero of Time was good at anything, it would be charging headfirst into situations without any regards for his own safety. With that in mind, the Hylian confidently strolled towards the lab, only to be instantly stumped by what appeared to be the door. It had no handle; how was he supposed to get through it? Was it locked? Why was this so counterintuitive? He supposed he’d have to bust through it somehow. He took a deep breath, and charged at the wall shoulder-first.

The door automatically slid open as soon as Link got close to it. The Hylian in question was expecting significantly more resistance than he met, and nearly fell on his face as soon as he entered. Well, that was anticlimactic.

The room was dark, but not so dark that Link couldn’t see anything. All around him, the ambient air was filled with the technological noise of machinery whirring in the gloom. Upon leaving the small hallway he found himself in, he discovered the source of the light; there was a bright screen in the following area that was broadcasting… himself? Hesitantly, Link waved his sword arm, and the image on-screen mimicked him perfectly. He whirled about, trying to see what could possibly be displaying his visage on the screen, but found nothing.

A sudden influx of light drowned out his doldrums, and the Hylian again pivoted to try and figure out what had caused this sudden illumination. Standing before him with her jaw glued to the floor was an incredibly short Lizalfos. She wore a suitably sized white coat of some kind, as well as a pair of spectacles. Link would have been more afraid, but Lizalfos were never that much of a problem for him. More of an annoyance.

“Oh. My. God,” she squealed. “I didn’t expect you to show up this early!”

She was jittering nervously at this point. Link recognizes her voice from somewhere. Ah, she’s called him in Snowdin about the ‘pizza’ thing and nearly scared him to death with deafening robotic tones! “I haven’t showered, I’m barely dressed, it’s all messy, and…”

Link crossed his arms boredly. “Yes, yes, get on with it.”

She slowed. “H-huh?”

“You know, the part where you say ‘I’m going to take your Soul for the freedom of monsterkind!’ and then we fight, I spare you, you let me go forwards, I go on my merry way. You know, the whole nine yards. Let’s not beat around the bush any longer than we have to.”

“What? N-no! See, I’m D-doctor Alphys. I’m Asgore’s royal scientist,” she hastily explained. “But, ahh… I-I’m not one of the ‘bad guys’! Actually, since y-y-you left the Ruins, I’ve, er… been ‘observing’ your journey through my console.”

“Stalker,” Link accused venomously.

“Wha-- no no no no no! I’m getting to that!” the scientist stammered. “I saw your fights, your friendships, everything! I was originally going to stop you, but… watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. So, ah, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore’s castle, no problem!”

“And you expect me to not be suspicious?” Link said, stepping forwards threateningly. “This is all so fishy, I could give it a spear and call it Undyne. How do I know you didn’t stuff it full of the strongest monsters the Underground has to offer?”

“I’ve watched you,” she reminded. “You managed to befriend Undyne, o-of all people, and she was the most devoted to hunting humans. If she couldn’t stop you… actually, wait. There’s just one tiny issue.”

Link raised an eyebrow, noticing Alphys’s special pronunciation of the royal guardswoman’s name. “Oh?”

“A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton,” she said. “Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot… uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something. Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. Just some small practical adjustments… like, um… anti… anti-human combat features? Of c-course, when I saw you coming, I immediately decided to turn off those features… but I may or may not have made a tiny, teensy-weensy l-little mistake… now he’s an unstoppable killer robot with a thirst for human blood? Eheheheheheheheh? Heh...”

“Okay, that sounds bad, but quick question first: what’s a robot?” Link asked awkwardly.

As if on cue, the room shook. “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” a muffled, artificial voice rumbled from somewhere. Link instinctually drew his blade and, not knowing what was coming, kept it out.

“Oh no,” Alphys groaned.

And then there was a massive explosion, right there in the lab. White consumed Link’s vision as his body was propelled backwards like a ragdoll in the wind, away from the blast site. His fingers slipped off of the hilt of his sword, and he internally cursed himself. He might need to defend himself from the supposedly bloodthirsty robot! The light dissipated, and the building was wreathed in absolute darkness. In fact, Link couldn’t see his own hand in front of his own face.

“Ohh, yes!” that fake, electronic voice said again. “Welcome, beauties…”

A single spotlight suddenly shone into existence, illuminating a massive hole in the wall that hadn’t been there just seconds before. Standing-- or rather, balancing-- in front of that hole was a large metal brick with innumerable confusing-looking dials and buttons and other bells and whistles that Link couldn’t make heads or tails of. It was ‘standing’ on top of a thin stick with a wheel attached to it. From each side extended a metallic arm, one of which was raised in the air and waving about and the other of which was holding a small chrome rod. The front of its body was dominated by an array of yellow lights, although a red ‘M’ was traced within it. “... To today’s quiz show!”

The room became bedazzled by swirling multicolored lights, as a massive neon sign reading ‘Game Show’ descended from the depths up above. It offered just enough illumination for Link to spy his sword knocked away in a corner. He moved to grab for it, but was stopped by Alphys grabbing his wrist.

“Oh boy! I can already tell it’s going to be a great show!” Mettaton-- presumably-- shouted, much to the happiness of the canned applause emanating from somewhere or other. “Everyone give a big hand to our wonderful contestant!”

More canned applause echoed. Did they mean him? Probably.

“Never played before, gorgeous? No problem!” he hollered, completely ignoring the terrified Hylian. Actually, considering the circ*mstances, he should have been much more scared than he was. It was probably because this Mettaton was so absolutely alien that it didn’t trigger any nasty memories. “It’s simple! There’s only one rule! Answer correctly… or you die!”

Link was promptly sucked into the Combat Plane. Mettaton continued to wave at him like the ex-Hero wasn’t about to be brutally murdered. Fleeing wasn’t an option; Link’s only choice was to go along with it.

“Alphys, what the [REDACTED] is going on?” he demanded, a large black box appearing over his mouth. “Wait, what the [REDACTED]? I didn’t say redacted!”

“Swearing is against the rules!” Mettaton informed helpfully.

“Y-y-you’ll be fine!” Alphys encouraged nervously. “Just answer the questions right!”

“You know what?” Link decided. “[REDACTED] this.” As soon as that black box appeared in front of his mouth, the Hylian yanked it off of him and lobbed it at Mettaton. He was hoping to use it as a distraction to get away; however, the box bounced off of the robot as if it was nothing. He Checked Mettaton, and discovered the reason: the human extermination robot had nine hundred and ninety-nine defense. Killing it without his sword would be impossible.

“Let’s start with an easy one!” Mettaton declared. “What is the reward for answering correctly?”

In the Battle Box, four options appeared in front of Link, accompanied by the letters A, B, C, and D. Next to those were the actual answers: ‘Money’, ‘Mercy’, ‘New Car’, or ‘More Questions’. Link almost missed the fact that Alphys was miming the letter D with her surprisingly dexterous fingers. Hesitantly, the Hylian maneuvered his soul to the corresponding letter. “More questions?”

A jovial tune accompanied this. “Right! Sounds like you get it!” Mettaton announced, waving both of his hands in the air. Alphys shot him a kindly thumbs-up. Link nodded emotionlessly at her. He’d hate to give her away. “Here’s your terrific prize! What is the king’s full name?”

“King Asgore Dreemurr,” Link replied instantly, before the answers were even revealed.

“Correct! What a terrific answer!”

There was confetti stuck in his hair. Link took a second to disentangle it before allowing Mettaton to ask another question. He hated this with a fiery passion; he found it insulting and painful. But he didn’t have a better option, as he couldn’t fight and he couldn’t flee. His only choice was to play along until the show ended. But to his chagrin, the show insisted on continuing.

“Enough about you. Let’s talk about me!” Mettaton suggested forcefully, preparing to fire another question at Link. “What are robots made of?”

Link failed to look to Alphys for the answer, instead locking onto the crimson timer at the top of the Battle Box that he somehow hadn’t noticed before. It was ticking downwards. Rapidly. He froze, choruses of ‘Dawn of the First Day’ blaring within his brain and drowning out any coherent thought. His breathing quickened, heart pumping loudly within his chest. And then he was back in Termina, under the Clock Tower, looking up at the destructive moon as if for the first time.

“Too late! If only Alphys could help you!” the entertainer mentioned, breaking Link out of his shocked reverie with a hearty zap. It only dealt about twenty total damage, bringing him down to 171/191. Wait, it was back to normal now? Since when?

“Here’s another easy one for you!” Mettaton continued. “TwotrainstrainAandtrainBsimultaneouslydepartStationAandStationBwhichare252.5milesapartfromeachotherTrainAismovingat124.7mphtowardsStationBandTrainBismovingat253.2mphtowardsStationAIfbothtrainsdepartedat10:00AManditisnow10:08howmuchlongeruntilbothtrainspasseachother?”

“What’s a train?” Link asked silently, tossing his Soul towards option D, as Alphys had suggested. It turned out to be correct.

“Wonderful! I’m astounded, folks!” Mettaton narrated as more confetti stuffed itself into Link’s head. “But don’t ‘count’ on your victory… How many flies are in this jar?”

Suddenly, there was a jar in front of Mettaton stuffed with an innumerable number of small insects. Somehow, Alphys managed to know the answer, and Link pretended to squint at it for a while before following her orders.

“Correct! You’re so lucky today! But will it keep up? Let’s find out by playing a memory game! What monster is this?”

An image of half of a Froggit’s head appeared in the space below it. “That’s a Fro--” Link started, but stopped himself when he saw Alphys frantically sign the letter D. How did that look like Mettaton? There was no mistaking it for a Froggit! He’d fought those in the Ruins!

Wait. This would be a good judge of character for Alphys. If she was lying, he’d know not to trust her. If she was telling the truth… well, he wouldn’t be sure, and would regard everything she said with suspicion anyway. He guessed D.

Lo and behold, the picture zoomed out to reveal Mettaton wearing a Froggit shirt. “I’m so touched you remembered! Now, answer this?”

The words ‘would you smooch a ghost?’ filled the Battle Box. Link raised an eyebrow and looked to Alphys for guidance, but she wasn’t giving him an answer, instead opting to glare derisively at her robotic creation. Upon looking at his options, he saw why; every one read ‘Heck Yeah!’ And for some reason, the doomsday timer was counting up instead of down.

“Self-centered scrap heap,” Link grumbled inaudibly, picking an option at random.

After Mettaton applauded himself relentlessly for the next ten minutes, the quiz show got on with itself. “How many letters are in the word ‘Mettaton… nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn--”

“68,” Link cut off, taking Alphys’s advice.

“Of course that was easy for you! I suppose it’s time to break out the big guns!” Mettaton realized, making way for the next question. Something about something called ‘mew mew kissy cutie’? And what was a ‘dating simulation game’? And was this ‘mew mew’ a person? So many questions, so little time…

“Ooh, ooh, I know this one!” the royal scientist blurted, thankfully preventing Link from having to answer. She was waving her hand in the air like a small child, as an excitable expression dominated her face. “It’s snail ice cream! In the fourth chapter everyone goes to the beach and she buys ice cream for all of her friends but it’s snail flavored and she’s the only one who wants it! It’s one of my favorite parts of the game because it’s actually a very powerful message about… friendship and…”

She slowly lost speed as she realized the grave mistake she had made. She’d just ousted herself as Link’s confidant, and had made all of his previous answers moot. Mettaton waggled a finger in her general direction. “Alphys, Alphys, Alphys,” he chastised. “You aren’t helping our contestant, are you?”

She frantically and nervously shook her head no. It didn’t seem convincing.

“Ooh, you should have told me! I’ll ask a question you’ll be sure to know the answer to! Human! Who does Dr. Alphys… have a crush on?”

“Why me…” Link groaned. An expression of adorable horror appeared on Alphys’s face as she desperately tried to jitterily convince the Hylian to not say anything. Unfortunately for him, the timer wasn’t going down… so his only choice was to answer. He contemplated saying that he just didn’t know… but where was the fun in that? She had given Mettaton the tools to murder him, so surely he deserved to hazard a guess. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to do any real damage. With that in mind, who could it be?

“No nerds allowed! Well… maybe some nerds…”

Oh, dear Goddesses.

“It’s Undyne, isn’t it?”

Her face promptly erupted into a crimson blush as she held her claws up to her face, hiding her eyes from the camera. Mettaton tsked.

“See, Alphys? I told you it was obvious,” he berated. “Even the human figured it out. Yes, she scrawls her name in the margins of her notes. She names programming variables after her. She even writes stories of them together… sharing a domestic life. Probability of crush: 101%. Margin of error: 1%.

“Well, well, well…” the robot mused, having ended his tirade. “With Doctor Alphys helping you, this show has no dramatic tension! We can’t go on like this!”

“So you’re not going to try and--”

“But! This was just the pilot episode!” Mettaton resumed. “Next up: more drama! More romance! More bloodshed! Until next time, darlings!”

The robot’s limbs then retracted into his body, and a smallish chrome tube emerged from beneath it. It then began spewing out fire, propelling it upwards and through the roof.

There was silence for a few seconds, as Link and Alphys returned from the Combat Plane.

“What just happened?” Link dared to ask.

“Well, that was certainly something,” Alphys decided, as if the Hylian’s life hadn’t just been in danger. “But that last question… h-he wasn’t s-supposed to ask that one…”

“No worries,” Link said, scouting out the remainder of the room. Seeing what he could, he made to leave. He had to get out of this wacky place, after all.

“Wait, wait!” the Lizalfos interrupted, stopping Link in his tracks. “Let me give you my ph-phone number! Th-then… m-maybe… if you need my help, I could…”

“Yeah, sure,” Link assented, procuring the telephone Toriel had given him.

Alphys looked shocked. “Wh-where’d you get this brick? It’s ancient! It doesn’t even have texting! W-wait a second, please!”

She snatched the phone out of Link’s hands and moved to a nearby table, from which much mechanical whirring, grinding, and a few cat’s squeals could be heard. She spent a few minutes there, the noises intensifying, before she casually walked back over and handed it back. “Here, I upgraded it for you! It can do texting, items, translating, it’s got a key chain… and I even signed you up for the Underground’s most used social networks. Now we’re officially friends! Eheheheheheh!”

Link gave no emotion, putting off the dinosaur. Evidently, this only increased her nervousness.

“Uh… I’m going to the bathroom,” she dismissed awkwardly, flinging herself behind a metal sliding door that failed to hide her nervously tapping feet just inches behind it.

“Translating?” Link mused, glancing within his pack at that strange book from the weird room that he couldn’t read. “I could do some of that…”

!0*0!

The Hylian departed from the lab, and immediately flipped open his new and improved phone. He apparently had access to ‘dimensional boxes’ now. Did that mean he could--

Oh, yes. He could somehow reach into the telephone and procure that pair of crummy glasses he’d stored in it. Not needing them, he put them back and got down to business.

Link gingerly opened the ‘Universal Translator’ application before rummaging through his pack and procuring that strange gibberish book he’d… received… from the mirage room back in Waterfall. As usual, it was filled with an array of weird script that Link couldn’t make neither heads nor tails of. Now, how did this work? The Hero of Time searched for an ‘instructions’ tab on the phone, but found nothing. Oh well.

Sighing to himself exasperatedly, he put it back in his pocket, waving it over the book on its path. The telephone immediately blared a robotic speech: “Humans, Magic, and the Uncanny Force: A Report by the Hand of W. D. Gaster.”

In surprise, Link nearly dropped the phone over the side of the strip of land. After calming down, he tried it again, with the same result. Interesting…

Link flipped to the next page, allowing the phone to translate the text into cohesive speech. After ignoring the table of contents, it finally got into the meat of the matter.

“It is often believed,” the text read, “that humans cannot use magic. However, were this true, then how could the first humans have sealed us in this place with a magical spell? Had they learned of magic’s arts during their sojourn in the skies? I cannot say. Regardless, when they finally came down and began their slaughter, we were most unprepared and, as a result, forced into the Underground. It would seem that the humans’ champion’s victory over Him did not stop their conquest. He was the reason they fled, after all; why would they stop when He was defeated? Indeed, with the exposure they had received from our corrupted brethren, I find that we should hardly blame the humans for what they did to us.”

Him? Who was Him? Was it Demise, the Demon King who had started the Demon War all those millenia ago? It made sense, now that he thought about it… It gave monsterkind a timetable for their imprisonment…

That being said, why wasn’t this common knowledge? Surely, despite the bizarre circ*mstances of Link’s discovery of this book, other monsters would know about it.

“But I digress. I was charged by King Asgore Dreemurr to commit my research towards constructing artificial human souls. As can probably be inferred, this effort was fruitless. This text merely explains some of the findings I have encountered along the way.

What separates a human soul from a monster soul? Human souls, naturally, have a way to sustain themselves after death, whereas monster souls, for the most part, do not. But why is this? I examined Chara’s soul to seek an answer, but found nothing of importance. I found that I could not isolate anything separating monster souls from human souls. Naturally, I could have been more extreme in my methods, but I did not want to jeopardize our only soul. There is, however, some Uncanny Force that keeps the Soul alive after the death of the body, that monsters sincerely lack.”

The next few dozen pages were conjectures on what that Uncanny Force could have been. Link had no idea how long he’d been there; he was too absorbed in the book to bother checking the time.

“Some time after these analyses were made, a new human came to the Underground. Unlike Chara, her Soul was green; her defining trait was Kindness. King Asgore Dreemurr allowed me to conduct experiments on her, and while I took no pleasure from it, I recognized its importance in the salvation of monsterkind.

“She has confirmed my suspicions: humans are not deaf to magic as we had thought. However, it is extremely rare and often does not coalesce until adolescence. That being said, much of that is actually untrue; throughout my experiments, and with cross-references to the other youths that had fallen down here, I have found that magic is just as inherent to humans as it is to monsters. It merely requires a certain catalyst to unlock. This can be in the form of a physical object, a manifestation of a particular spell with which the human can cast that particular spell. This is obviously significantly weaker than what monsters can do with magic, as it is constrained to one particular usage. Then there are… others.

“I have found, with much sorrow, that when humans are on the brink of, as we would call it, Falling Down, their magic is suddenly fully activated as a last-ditch effort to save their lives. The human in question can then use their magic permanently, without need of a physical catalyst. All of these magical properties are significantly weaker than the average monster, and cause stress on the human body. This leads to excessive perspiration, shortness of breath, and fatigue. Like in monsters, the way this manifests is wildly different for each human. In fact, much of it is intrinsically linked to their physical self, and not to the soul.”

Most of the rest of the book continued to analyze the individual magical properties of the five humans that had come before him.

“Unfortunately, this inquiry yielded no fruit towards making artificial human souls; therefore, we were required to exterminate the humans. I… felt much sorrow in doing this, as many of the humans were kindly towards myself and my lab assistants. We had become… dare I say it… friends. Immediately after their passing, I devoted much of my time towards the creation of an artifact, a catalyst that immediately quenches any barriers towards the usage of magic in humans, and allows them to cast magic without fear. I have been told of a similar race called the Hylians that are, for all intents and purposes, identical to humans, the only difference being that of pointed ears. However, I am of the belief that the souls of humans and Hylians function in the same fashion, and that the artifact shall work for both of them.”

That must have been the crimson orb in Waterfall that he’d partially absorbed. Imagine the magic he could have wielded if it hadn’t been for that dog…

Stupid dog.

“I fear that I cannot live with myself, knowing what I did,” the book said. “Soon, I believe, I shall Fall Down into my own creation, as penance for my sins.

“May God have mercy on my soul.”

The book ended there, but strangely had a number of pages remaining. They were blank. Link blinked, looking up erratically to see if anything had come to murder him. Nothing had, so he went to put the book away. But to his shock, it had disappeared from his hands the instant he looked away. How odd.

His stomach rumbled slightly. It had been at least twenty-four hours since he’d last really eaten anything; he hadn’t had time for a good and proper meal since Toriel’s. And no, Papyrus’s spaghetti didn’t count. That being said, he was used to going much longer without sustenance during his sojourn through Termina and, to a lesser extent, Hyrule.

But he wasn’t there… he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. He shrugged to himself and ate a Cinnamon Bunny to sate his hunger. It probably shouldn’t have filled him up as much as it did, but Link was very used to getting as much out of each measly morsel as he could.

!0*0!

“Just realized I forgot to watch Undyne fight the human,” the annoying pop-up notification read. Link would have tried to figure out a way to disable it-- or permanently rid himself of this Goddess-forsaken device-- but he couldn’t make neither heads nor tails of the thing and Alphys probably wouldn’t be too keen on him throwing away her creation. Plus, it actually had utility now with the boxes. “Well I know she’s unbeatable I’ll ask her abt it later ^.^”

What in the world did ‘^.^’ mean? Link decided it didn’t matter.

“OH GOD!” another pop-up declared in all caps. “I FORGOT TO GIVE THE HUMAN THE THING!”

His phone promptly started buzzing. He picked it up. “Hello?” He grumbled.

“Um… er… uh…” Alphys’s adorably terrified, tinny voice reverberated. “Come back to the lab please!”

Then it went dead. Muttering to himself somewhat angrily, Link did an about-face and stalked back towards the lab. However, he tripped over a stray stone, and was promptly thrust into the Combat Plane by it. On closer inspection, it was an extremely scaled-down Death Mountain-esque monster with a happy, smiling face.

“Want some coffee?” it offered, brewing a mug of deep brown liquid atop its cranial crater.

“Uh, sure?” the Hylian replied hesitantly, taking the mug and downing a sip.

It was scalding hot, unbearably so. His tongue felt like it had burnt off, and scraped against the roof of his mouth painfully with each flick. Desperate for respite, he spat it out as discreetly as possible, to avoid hurting the Vulkin’s feelings.

Goddesses, how had he gotten this soft?

The volcano monster seemed content to let him go, and Link wasted no time in darting into the lab. Alphys was waiting there, twiddling her thumbs awkwardly.

“So, u-uh…” she stammered, holding out a hand. In it was a glass of water. “U-Undyne asked m-me to give you this… I don’t kn-kn-know why… we used it o-o-on monsters that were th-th-th-thinking… ab-b-bout… Just take one now, and then t-take two at the same time each day. N-n-never take more than two a day. This is a month’s s-supply… it’s the m-most I can give you wi-wi-without arousing too much suspicion…”

She held out her other hand, which contained a clean-looking orange container labeled ‘Sertraline’. A light, mint-green, distended orb was placed delicately on top.

Link raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Undyne asked,” Alphys shrugged, handing him the glass and the container. Not knowing what else to do, he drank the water. He was pretty hot, all things considered.

“No, no, no,” Alphys chastised, taking the water from him. “You’re supposed to use it to wash the pill down…”

“Well, why didn’t you say that before?” the Hero accused.

“I forgot you w-weren’t used to our technology!” the lizard complained, handing him another glass. The Hylian took a sip, stuck the pill inside his mouth, and handed the cup back to Alphys before leaving.

He didn’t know what the pills did, and he wasn’t taking any chances with them.

!0*0!

Monster technology was wildly superior to anything in Hyrule. The most technologically advanced thing in Hyrule was the elevator in the Forest Temple and- maybe- the water drainage systems of the Water Temple. In the Underground, however, there were these cauldrons that continuously spewed green exhaust flames. Several self-sustaining moving tracks littered the area, allowing Link to move through it by just standing on it. This next area featured several large, seemingly insurmountable gaps over the searing magma below. Sweat was cascading down Link’s face as he approached the drop. The swordsman took note of the button emblazoned with an arrow pointing to the other side. Delicately, and unsure of what would happen, he stood on it. A massive blast of potent steam spewed forth from the button below him, thrusting the bottom of his tunic up towards his chest. Link hardly noticed this, as the steam had been moving so fast that it had pushed him over the gap.

He was very glad he’d bought shorts back on the surface.

The Hylian spent the next few minutes bouncing from small strip of land to small strip of land, avoiding the scalding hot lava beneath him. Just as he was about to enter the next room, his phone rang. Maybe it had something to do with all the messages he didn’t care enough to look at?

“U-uh, hi!” Alphys’ tinny voice echoed. “Y-you’re about to hit some of the security in the next hallway!”

“Security?” Link repeated, rounding the corner and eyeing the series of multicolored lines of light pervading the area. They were too low to crawl under and too high to jump over.

“Uh, I mean, Alphys here! Hi!” the scientist introduced awkwardly. “The blue lasers won’t hurt you if you don’t move!”

“But not all of these are--”

“Orange ones, um… you have to be m-moving, and… they won’t, um… Move through those ones!”

Silence.

“Uh… bye!”

The phone went dead. By this point, Link had already passed through to the other side and deactivated them all. Checking his phone again, he learned that Alphys was undergoing an existential crisis. Why had Undyne called her to ask about the weather when there was no weather in the Underground?

Even Link could see it, and he was a moron. Odd. He typically felt worse when he berated himself, but now he was doing it… and laughing internally? What was wrong with him! Maybe it was that pill messing with his brain...

Sighing to himself, he kept going, reaching a vent button that continually rotated around four options, each representing a cardinal direction.

“A-a-a-a-a-a-alphys here!” the phone buzzed. “That northern door will stay locked until you… s-solve the puzzles on the right and left. I… think you should go to the right first!” It then went dead, and Link took her advice. He entered a small room, ignoring the suited monsters outside and the disembodied fox head, and marched straight towards the puzzle. Apparently, he was supposed to murder an enemy triangle with a limited number of bullets, and he had a lever to move around a slew of destructible blocks. This seemed simple; just move one box out of the way, then use the two bullets to break the other box and the triangle. With that out of the way, he marched back the way he came, although he was interrupted by another Vulkin, which he merely opted to run away from.

The other one was blocked by a blue laser. That was stupefying; Link couldn’t get past the laser because he had to be still, and he couldn’t get through it without moving!

It then promptly went dead. Alphys updated her status on the Undernet; apparently, she’d hacked the laser to force it to go down.

There was another puzzle room, and it was significantly more complicated. The Hylian actually had to think to solve this one…

On the way out, he narrowly avoided tripping on a burning rope, which then yanked him into the Combat Plane. The Pyrope asked for-- no, demanded more heat… despite their position just meters above a massive vat of magma. Sweating buckets, Link complied. The heat was so bad that the air began to shimmer, which made diving through the orange flames all the harder. Eventually, the burning twine was satisfied, and allowed Link to leave.

After flinging himself across a lengthy chain of vent buttons, Link found himself on a tiled linoleum floor. It was a stark difference from the red stone of the rest of Hotlands. The area ahead of him was dark, brutally so. Link took a deep breath, oddly confident in himself. He could get through this. Everything was just fine. And just thinking it, he felt like it was.

This chapter is getting pretty long. I’m going to end it here.

Review Please!

Chapter 12: Backing Down

Chapter Text

Dead Inside.

RRRP:

Swordmouse (AO3): Why thank you!

Frosted Shade (FF): He won’t, indeed.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): Thanks! Asgore will appear when Asgore appears.

Chapter 11

“Hey, it’s kinda dark in there, isn’t it?” Alphys’s tinny voice reverberated from the phone. “Don’t worry! I’ll hack into the lighting system and brighten up the place for you!”

“Or I could just lea--” Link started, but was interrupted by a blast of brightness hitting his eyes. The transition was so jarring that he couldn’t actually see anything for a few seconds. The Hylian blinked furiously before getting his bearings. He was located right smack-dab in the middle of what appeared to be a kitchen of some sort, except significantly larger than any such area that he’d seen in all of his experience down in the Underground. Granted, that was limited to Toriel’s, Papyrus’s, and Undyne’s, but...

“Oh no,” Alphys groaned.

“Oh yes!” Mettaton’s metallic voice screeched, as the aforementioned metal brick on wheels appeared from somewhere. Was it hiding underneath the island? Who knew? The robot was wearing a stupid white puffy hat, which clashed with his facade to an extreme degree. Link snorted. “Welcome, beauties, to the Underground’s premier cooking show!”

Below Link, a massive sign suddenly made itself apparent, facing off into a nearby camera. It read, ‘Cooking with a Killer Robot’, and was accompanied by an ocean of glitter that fused itself to the ends of Link’s hair like a particularly nasty, pink case of dandruff. He shook it out of his hair and cap while Mettaton monologued to the invisible audience. Well, it wasn’t invisible, but that camera thing was somehow broadcasting the scene to the entire Underground automatically. Monster technology was something that never ceased to baffle Link.

“Preheat your ovens, because we’ve got a very special recipe for you today!” the entertainer declared. “We’re going to be making… a cake!”

Okay. Link wasn’t exactly a connoisseur of baked goods, but he’d at least heard of cake before he’d fallen into the Underground. They were for the upper echelons of Hylian society, for a refined palette that he definitely lacked. Living off the land would do that to you.

“My lovely assistant here will gather the ingredients. Everyone give them a big hand!” Mettaton continued, grabbing Link’s wrist and yanking it up into the air. The Hero of Time, in turn, pulled it right back down and self-consciously rubbed the back of his hand, not comfortable with this at all. Interestingly, he wasn’t drawn back towards any point in his previous adventures. “We’ll need sugar, milk, and eggs. Go for it, sweetheart!”

Maybe if he did as the artificial intelligence demanded, it wouldn’t hurt him? Taking a deep breath, the swordsman departed for the back of the room and snatched all of the required ingredients, making it back to the island in one trip.

“Perfect!” Mettaton lauded. “Great job, beautiful!”

Link merely gave him a derisive stare, eyebrows hung low over his face.

“We’ve got all the ingredients we need to bake a cake… milk, sugar, eggs-- oh my! What a magnificent moment! How could I forget! We’re missing the most important ingredient!”

“Flour?” Link suggested.

Mettaton proceeded to ignore him. Instead, he raised an item that Link had never seen before. It had a white and black base with several knobs and things on it, but the thing that drew Link’s eye was the massive metal apparatus sprouting from one side. It had a number of sharp-looking teeth attached to it, along with a hardy metal chain.

“A human soul!” the robot explained, grabbing a knob and yanking it outwards. The steel quickly began rotating, teeth and chains flying around in a deadly dance as he inched forwards, face lights flickering between yellow and red. He had to act, so Link drew his sword and slapped the chainsaw out of the way as it came crashing down over his head. The impact sent sparks flying from the tip of his Kokiri Sword, but the point was that Link wasn’t dead. He settled into a combat stance and swiped at Mettaton across the innumerable buttons littering his body. Unfortunately, the attack did absolutely nothing; his blade wasn’t sharp enough, nor was he strong enough, to cut through the thick chrome exterior of the killer robot.

So, he couldn’t defeat Mettaton, and he couldn’t reason with Mettaton… he supposed his only option was to survive until Alphys could do something.

And like a charm, there was the sound of a phone ringing. Mettaton ceased his murder spree to operate a slick, elegant, pink phone. Link could tell that he was answering a call. On speaker.

“Hello…? I’m kind of in the middle of something here!” Mettaton complained.

“W-w-wait a second!” Alphys’s voice echoed. “Couldn’t you make a… couldn’t you use a… couldn’t you make a substitution in the recipe?”

“A substitution?” he asked slowly. “As in use a different, non-human ingredient? Why?”

Link nodded vigorously, although he doubted his opinion actually mattered in this setting.

“Uhh, what if someone’s… vegan?”

What was ‘vegan’? Whatever it was, it was saving Link’s life, so he thanked the vegan people and left it at that.

“Vegan.”

“Uh well I mean--”

“That’s a brilliant idea!” Mettaton answered, laughing in that voiceless way that he did. “Actually, I happen to have an option right here! MTT-brand always-convenient human-soul-flavor-substitute! A can of which… is just on that counter!”

And indeed, there was a conveniently placed can of MTT-brand always-convenient human-soul-flavor-substitute on an isolated counter deeper into the kitchen that, somehow, nobody had noticed. It was so deep into the kitchen that it was actually in a separate hallway leading out. Link blinked. Why hadn’t they used that from the beginning? He was starting to smell a plot…

Or maybe those were the eggs. He doubted it, though.

“Well, darling? Why don’t you go get it?”

This shook the Hero of Time out of his shaking reverie, adrenaline still coursing through his veins at the impromptu battle. He mechanically moved his legs out of the kitchen towards the human-soul-flavor-substitute. However, as he approached, the counter spontaneously lowered into the ground, stopping at Link’s feet. It shuddered for a few moments. Hesitantly, Link reached for the can on top, Just as his fingers were about to close on it, the counter abruptly shot out of the ground, reaching upwards into the upper echelons of the Underground, out of Link’s reach. Would he seriously have to climb up all of that?

From behind him, he could hear Mettaton’s singular wheel sidle up to him. “By the way, this show runs on an extremely tight schedule. If you can’t get the can in the next one minute… we’ll just have to go back to the original recipe! So… better start climbing, human! Toodles!”

Mettaton sprouted that metal tube and began flying upwards. Link turned his attention back towards the massive mountain of a counter, which was now so high that he couldn’t even see the top through the gloom. At least it was slowing down.

“Oh no! There’s not enough time to climb up!” Alphys lamented through a loud crunching sound. After a weird noise that sounded awfully similar to a swallow, she continued. “F-f-fortunately, I might have a plan! When I was upgrading your phone, I added some… features. You see that huge button right by your pinky that says ‘jetpack’? Click that!”

Link turned his phone around, surprised that he’d never seen this. Indeed, there were quite a few buttons on the back of his phone that he hadn’t taken note of. One read ‘Cameras’, another just read ‘yellow’, a third was emblazoned with ‘Coffee & Refreshments’, but Link couldn’t care less about those. Wasting no time, he jammed his thumb into the bright red ‘Jetpack’ button.

His phone proceeded to levitate in the palm of his hands before snapping open, in a way that shouldn’t have been possible. It then attached itself to his back, and a brutal heat made itself known on his legs. He threw a terrified glance at it, and… oh Farore, it was spitting fire.

And his feet stopped touching the ground.

Suddenly, the Hylian was flying through the air at a blistering pace, the wind whistling in his ears violently. He could see Mettaton above him, still wearing that stupid chef’s hat. And he was holding a carton of eggs.

An egg slammed into his forehead and split open, spewing yolk all over his face. Disoriented, Link accidentally slammed into the still-present counter a few times before regaining his bearings and righting his trajectory, bruising himself something fierce. He should have been way worse at this, but it wasn’t very different from using the Hookshot, truth be told.

Thoroughly drenched in sugar, milk, and more egg yolks, Link finally reached the top of the absurdly tall counter, where the human-soul-flavor-substitute was sitting as if nothing had happened.

“My, my,” Mettaton applauded. Link merely glared. “It seems you’ve bested me… but only with the help of the brilliant Doctor Alphys. Oh, I loathe to think of what would happen to you without her! Well, toodles!” The robot disappeared to the east, only to reappear quickly afterwards. “Oh, yes, about the substitution… haven’t you seen a cooking show before? I already baked the cake ahead of time! So forget it!”

As if on cue, the swordsman’s jetpack sputtered out as it ran out of fuel, dropping Link off on the ground below… which was just a few meters beneath the summit of the counter. Seriously miffed, Link stowed away the jetpack, which was now a phone again, in his pocket. He very much did not like this Mettaton character. If there was at least a personality beneath that extravagant exterior, then it would have been slightly tolerable… but no. It really was just a cruel killer robot who wanted attention above all else.

“Wow…” Alphys commented through the telephone. “We… we did it! We really did it! Great job out there, team!”

Team? Link grumbled internally. You didn’t get thrown around an impossibly tall kitchen counter by a fire-spewing… contraption while a sentient bloodthirsty rustbucket throws ingredients at you. I did all the work.

“Well… uh… anyway, let’s keep moving forward!”

She then hung up, and Link proceeded, like he always did.

!0*0!

“See that building in the distance?” the royal scientist described. “That’s the Core, the source of all power in the Underground. It converts geothermal energy into magical electricity by… uhh, anyway, that’s where we’re going.”

“That’s really big,” the Hylian commented intelligently. And indeed, it was. It was a gargantuan hulking edifice of metal tubing and wires, illuminated from below by molten rock. Just looking at it made Link’s head swim due to its sheer size. How could anyone have made this? The biggest thing he’d seen in his life was probably Hyrule Castle, if he didn’t count the various temples and caverns because he couldn’t actually see much of their exteriors. And the Core was at least twice as large as that! “Also, why are we going there?”

“In the Core, there’s an elevator that’ll lead directly to King Asgore’s castle. And from there… you can go home.”

“Home…” Link whispered, not hearing the phone going dead. He’d spent so much time down here that he’d almost forgotten what was driving him back there, what was propelling his every step.

Navi.

The swordsman cautiously allowed a lovesick grin to cross his visage for a few seconds before donning his fleshy mask again, stepping deeper into Hotlands. His trek was quickly interrupted by a white column labeled ‘RF1’. He carefully stepped inside, and was greeted by some sort of panel containing an array of buttons.

“Please select your destination,” the panel said in an artificial tone, causing Link to jump, hand settling on the hilt of his blade. After calming himself down, he took a look at his options: ‘right floor 1’ and ‘right floor 2’. Figuring that ‘RF1’ stood for ‘right floor 1’, he selected the latter.

It appeared that he made the right choice, as the elevator dropped him off in a new area. Link stepped out, and was immediately beset by a small flame sprite.

“Hey! I’m Heats Flamesman! Remember my name!” it demanded before sprinting away haphazardly. The Hero of Time blinked before continuing.

Then there was Sans, complete with his sentry station and everything. Somehow, there was still snow on it. Actually, that raised a few questions. Link had assumed that there were different sentry stations across the Underground, but the snow obviously didn’t come from here. There was magma literally all around them! Why hadn’t it melted?

“Yeah, it is pretty weird,” a monster woman agreed when Link asked. “Guess he’s just too lazy to clean it off.”

The Hylian shrugged, strolling over to the skeleton’s station. “Good to see you.”

“Hey, kid. Want to buy a hot dog? It’s just thirty gold.”

“Sure,” he shrugged again, forking over the money and receiving a tube of meat sandwiched by two pieces of bread.

“Here’s your ‘dog. Yeah… apostrophe-dog. It’s short for hot-dog.”

Wait a minute. Something about this was very wrong. Something about… Toriel’s house? Then it came to him.

“Sans, this is a plant,” Link said dryly.

“Nah, it’s a sausage.”

“It’s a water sausage. Not an actual sausage. It doesn’t count.”

“But it’s a sausage. What typha monster do you think I am? Surely you don’t take me flora scammer…”

“Forget it,” the Hero grumbled, moving along.

His phone buzzed. Apparently, someone by the name of ‘Napstablook22’ had just sent him a friend request on that silly Undernet thing. Link moved to accept it, but he was unable to. It looked like it had already rejected itself. That was too bad; he’d liked Napstablook.

After completing a timing-based puzzle-- although that was a bit debatable; Alphys had interrupted him halfway through-- Link was greeted by a maze of vent buttons not unlike the ones from right at the entrance to Hotlands. While ignoring a silly conversation between Alphys and ‘CoolSkeleton95’, whom Link could only assume was Papyrus, he entered the vent maze. Unfortunately, these buttons swapped themselves around every time he stepped on them. This meant that despite being just one leap away from the exit, he was blocked because he had to step on the button there. Of course, he could always backtrack and step on another button, but he needed to step on an odd number of buttons, because he’d always hit an even number if he just blindly moved backwards. Luckily for him, there was a platform that lacked one of those switcher buttons. Link leapt onto that and then completed the puzzle, exiting off the other side.

He made use of the Save Point by the ‘computerized safe’ and tried to continue on his way, closer to the Core.

“Hey you! Stop!” a resonating, deep, commanding voice echoed.

Link froze, old instincts clamoring for him to take his blade and stick it down the gullet of whoever just threatened him. Stifling those thoughts, he slowly turned to face the two suits of dark armor approaching him. He’d seen them before, in front of the Lab. He’d ignored them entirely, instead opting to meet Alphys and Mettaton.

“We’ve, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a silly tunic,” the leftmost one explained. “They told us they were wandering around Hotlands and stuff right now. I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We’ll bring you someplace safe, okay?”

They beckoned, and marched in the opposite direction before pausing a few paces later. They shared a quick private conversation.

“Huh, what is it, bro? The shirt they’re wearing… What about it?”

The royal guard scanned Link’s outfit for a second.

“Bro… are you thinking… what I’m thinking?”

The rightmost one nodded.

“Bummer. This is, like… mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff.”

Darn.

The Combat Plane beckoned, and Link surrendered to it. Now, what were his options here? Just ‘Check’, ‘Whisper,’ and ‘Clean Armor’. How on the Goddesses’ green earth did those help him not die here?

Not finding anything of value in the Act menu, Link scanned his adversaries. They were bouncing about on the balls of their feet, waving their twin cutlasses in perfect sync. Both of them were decked out in armor, although one was black and the other was an earthy color-- wait. That was caked dirt all over the torso… what purpose did that serve? Maybe the rightmost guard was simply incapable of getting the dust and grime off of its suit, like Gyftrot found it impossible to remove those ornaments? It was worth a shot. Knowing that he couldn’t be hurt during his own turn, Link confidently strolled towards RG 02 and delicately swept all of the dirt off of his breastplate. Immediately, sweat began pouring out of the guardsman’s visor like a waterfall.

“Like, team attack and stuff,” 01 called enthusiastically as several star-shaped projectiles soared towards Link from all sides. The Hylian in question drew his blade and danced around as many of them as possible, batting aside the ones that he couldn’t quite dodge.

“Ugh…” RG 02 complained. “Can’t take it… armor… too hot!” With one magnificent movement, the dragon-headed guard removed the entirety of its breastplate, revealing his chiseled, scaly torso. RG 01, who had previously remained rather stoic, suddenly started sweating bullets. He looked bothered by something. Was now the time to use the Whisper option? Probably.

“Don’t lie to me,” the Hero said softly. “You know what you’re doing, and so does he. Surely, you could at least be honest with it.”

The trick to this sort of thing was to be as vague as possible without revealing the vagueness. This typically relied on a number of calculated risks, but Link was quite good at picking which risks to take and which to avoid. It was a useful skill to have in fights; combat, in Link’s experience, was an exercise in predicting an enemy’s actions and reacting accordingly.

“D-dude…” the embarrassed guard stammered. “I c-can’t… I can’t take this anymore! Not like this! Like, 02… I, like… I like, like you, bro! The way you fight, the way you talk… I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync… I want to stay like this forever…”

02 said nothing for some time. This made 01 even more nervous.

“U-uh, I mean, psyche! Gotcha bro! Haha!”

“01.”

“Y-yeah, bro?”

“Do you want to… get some ice cream after this?”

01 relaxed. “Sure, dude! Haha!”

The two royal guards stared into each other’s eyes amorously for a few seconds before turning and marching away. Link watched them go, feeling envious of the feelings they shared. He had never been as lost in love as those two had looked. He’d never had that simple joy that sparked between them, not with anyone.

Well, except Navi, anyway. And maybe Malon if he thought about it, assuming he didn’t think about it too much.

But… would Navi even care? Hopefully, she cared more than Alphys did, who was talking via Undernet about how she was apparently watching a ‘show’ this whole time that made her ‘forget to do her fricking job’. If Link was lucky, Navi and Malon would care more than that about him.

Being stabbed through the gut? Been there, done that. Blunt trauma? A laughing matter. But probably unrequited feelings he couldn’t even describe… that was the worst pain the ex-Hero could imagine.

Link sighed, and left the hallway that had formerly been spewing steam at him. The vast expanse of a room was pitch black, which typically meant Mettaton. He took a few steps forwards, and his fears were confirmed as Alphys hit the lights. A sizeable, thin wall separated him from a bright light. It was close enough for him to see the murderbot, dressed in a snazzy-looking red suit, standing behind a desk with various blank papers in its grip. At the bottom of Link’s vision, several scrolling words could be visible, begging viewers to buy MTT-brand items that nobody would ever actually use.

“Are you serious?” Alphys complained via telephone.

“Oh yes!” Mettaton replied, scarily chipper. “Good evening, beauties and gentlebeauties! This is Mettaton, reporting live from Mettaton News Headquarters in Hotlands! An interesting situation is developing here! Fortunately, our Eastern Hotlands correspondent is out there, reporting live! Brave correspondent, please find something newsworthy to report! Our ten wonderful viewers are waiting for you!”

Sensing that now was his time, Link took a few steps into the confusing area, which was filled to the brim with various things. To his right was a book with an image of Mettaton on it, which he avoided like the plague. He told himself to just go along with it, that it would all be over soon.

Wait a minute.

Something was off about that book…

Link looked closer while Mettaton monologued about the movie script, because apparently that’s what it was. “You wouldn’t-- cough cough-- spoil the movie with a glowing review, would you?” the robot said, winking as hard as he could given that he didn’t have eyes.

“This isn’t a movie script!” Link accused dramatically. “This is a bomb! I can see the fuse!”

“Aha! And the fuse is lit! We definitely have a box office bomb on our hands! And it’s about to blast you to bits! But don’t get too excited!”

The entirety of the cardboard cutout separating him from Mettaton fell into the magma below, revealing a whole room to that fourth wall. Link already knew there was a glass of uninteresting water, a box, some candles, that dog from Snowdin that had nearly killed him, and a orange sphere littering the area, and they were all bombs too.

“It seems that everything in this room is actually a bomb! That dog’s a bomb! That basketball’s a bomb! Even my words are--”

On cue, massive explosives stylized into the phrase ‘are bombs!’ fell out of the sky and exploded. Link was intimidated, hand on his hilt.

“Brave correspondent… if you don’t defuse all of the bombs, this big bomb over here will blow you to smithereens in two minutes! Then you won’t be reporting ‘live’ any-- wait, what are you doing?”

“Disposing of the bombs,” Link explained, tossing the now-sleeping dog off of the platform into the lava below.

“Your attempts are futile! These bombs were designed to never leave their places! That dog shall return to its post in three… two… one…”

And at the snap of the robot’s fingers, the dog was back, still snoozing. There went that idea…

“Ooh, our nine viewers are going to love watching this! Ta ta, darling!”

Mettaton drifted away on its rocket propellor like a deranged, homicidal plastic bag.

His phone rang. It was Alphys, to Link’s lack of surprise. “Don’t worry! I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Just use the ‘Defuse’ option when the bomb is in the defuse zone!”

Link hung up, scanning his surroundings. The dog was right here, so he might as well take care of that. Fortunately, the sharp-toothed monster was still somehow asleep, and was thus easy to defuse with just a tap of a button.

“Nice! Now go for the one in the bottom left!”

“Screw that,” Link vetoed, making a dive for the surprisingly agile glass of water that had somehow gained the ability to levitate. It proceeded to fling him all over the room. Desperately, Link tried to defuse it, but missed and accidentally defused the present bomb instead. The extremely agile glass of water zipped around the room like a Bubble pumped full of adrenaline, and it slipped out of Link’s grasp just as he crossed a patch of land that contained a video game bomb. He defused that-- a slightly more difficult task than the dog, as the dog wasn’t moving-- before jackknifing underneath a laser puzzle and sprinting towards the southwest portion of the area, which contained the movie script oscillating back and forth above a conveyor belt. He sprinted towards it, defusing it, before being hit in the head with the glass of water. Angrily, Link again attempted to latch on to it and force it to stop, but its momentum was simply too high for him to stop, and its sides were as slick as RG 01’s armor. While he waited for the vial to circle back, Link made to defuse the second-to-last bomb, which was stuck in that ‘basketball’ thing. Then he waited. And waited. And he realized he was on a timer, which was on twenty seconds and counting--

The glass circled back, and the Hylian wasted no time. From several meters away, he slammed the Defuse button, and the glass immediately lost its velocity and smashed into the ground, shattering into a myriad of pieces.

Mettaton floated back to the area.

“Well done, darling!” he broadcasted. “You defused all the bombs!”

Link said nothing. He wouldn’t give the television star the satisfaction.

“If you didn’t deactivate them, the big bomb would have exploded in two minutes. Now, the big bomb will not explode in two minutes… it will explode in two seconds! Goodbye, darling!”

There was dead silence.

“It appears that the bomb isn’t going off,” Mettaton commented, as if anyone in the invisible audience couldn’t gather that.

“That’s because!” Alphys interjected via telephone. “While you were monologuing… I f-fix… um… I ch-changed…”

“Oh no. You deactivated the bomb with your hacking skills,” Mettaton simplified in monotone. Well, more monotone than usual.

“Y-Yeah!” Alphys replied sheepishly. “That’s what I did!”

“Curses!” the robot squealed instantly. “It seems I’ve been foiled again! Curse you, human! Curse you, Doctor Alphys, for helping so much! But I don’t curse my eight wonderful viewers for turning in!”

The viewer count was lowering? Maybe if it went to zero, there would be no point in keeping Link on TV, so he could leave! Wait, then Mettaton would just kill him away from the camera.

“Until next time, darling!”

!0*0!

He must have been on the other side of the Core, as the path was now leading him in the opposite direction. Actually, that wasn’t true; Link was somehow back at the left elevator again. Noticing that there was a new button that led him all the way up to the top, the Hero selected it and was transported there promptly.

His phone rang. Unsurprisingly, it was Alphys again. “Hey… I’ve noticed you’ve been k-kinda quiet… is it the pills? Wait, no, that doesn’t make sense. You’re probably worried about meeting Asgore, right? Right. Well, don’t worry, okay?”

“Easier said than done.”

“The k-king is a really nice guy,” the Lizalfos promised. “I’m sure you can talk to him, and… with your human soul, you can cross the barrier! So no worrying, okay? J-j-just forget about it and smile.”

The phone went dead, as the Hylian set foot on the uppermost level. Unlike the lower ones, the floor here looked artificial, and technologically advanced beyond Link’s worse than surface-level understanding. He pressed forwards, and ended up in a small area that appeared neglected, judging by the cobwebs all over the place. Actually, that was probably from the spider monster manning a bake sale. Yes, that was most likely it. He could restock on healing supplies here. Not that he needed them, but there was such a thing as preparing for rainy days. That was why, during his escapades throughout Hyrule, he never went anywhere without four bottles full of fairies. At least, he did before Navi left.

“Welcome to our parlor, dearie,” the spider woman greeted sultrily. “Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders! Check out those webs to make a purchase.”

She gesticulated towards a pair of conspicuously-placed spider webs right by the table. Link moved to make a purchase and nearly choked on his own surprise. Apparently, everything cost nearly ten thousand gold here! Why? Back in the Ruins, they had only cost fourteen gold or something! He couldn’t buy this even if he wanted to!

He went back to the spider woman running the sale. “What happened to all the prices? It’s way more expensive than anything I’ve seen up here.”

“Spider quality cannot be matched!”

“But back in the Ruins, I bought a donut for less than ten gold! And it tasted great, but not nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine gold great! Maybe twenty gold great!

“Wait, you bought a doughnut from the Ruins!” she inquired, surprise evident in each of her five eyes. “Do you have the receipt?”

“What’s a receipt?” Link asked, embarrassed. “Oh wait, is that the piece of paper that came with it? I didn’t know that was important, so I threw it away…”

“Oh, for… Webster!” she called to a significantly smaller spider crawling on the table. “Could you tell Octavio to send a fax to the spiders in the Ruins and ask them if they sold a donut to a human? It’s quite urgent!”

Webster the spider immediately scurried underneath the table. “What’s going on?” Link dared to ask.

“Now, I know who you are, human,” she whispered, in a way that made Link tense and relax in ways he didn’t know was possible. “A little birdie told me you love to squish spiders in your off time. That you hated the eight-legged simply because we were. Now, that’s not true, is it?”

An uncountable number of dead Skulltulas flashed across his vision, each ended with a Deku Nut or the long, razor-sharp edge of his blade. He had to lie, and lie convincingly, if he wanted to not aggravate the woman. “No,” he said. “In fact, I’ve helped a group of cursed spiders called the Skulltula on the surface… I don’t think you’d know them.”

She regarded him with a newfound interest. “Oh my… it would appear my sources were incorrect. But-- Oh! Here’s Octavio now!”

A new spider crawled forth from the underbrush of the table, bearing a telegram. The arachnid bake sale owner took it and perused it. “Ah, yes, a confirmation! You have my deepest of apologies, dearie… this whole thing was meant to be a ruse, to prove that you were as stingy as the messenger said… but I appear to have been misled… D’aww, here now. We’ll bring our prices down to normal now. Happy buying, human!”

Link left fourteen gold and bought two donuts. He decided to eat one of them there, say goodbye to the friendly spider woman, and continue on his way.

The following area was another vent maze, blowing steam all over the place to cool off the Core. He got yet another call from Alphys, saying how she didn’t want to give him the answers to the puzzles, but that he could talk to her via Undernet if he needed help. He wouldn’t.

He methodically maneuvered across the vent maze, each puff of steam flinging him into the air like a verdant Deku seed in the wind. He ended up by the north exit, which held a puzzle. The south exit would also hold a puzzle; when both were completed, the true exit to the east would reveal itself.

The puzzle itself was reminiscent of the bullet conundrum from the lower level. However, there were significantly more boxes and Link only had one bullet. The Hylian spent a few minutes trying different positions to see what was better, before finally discovering a correct answer and destroying the enemy ship.

He then bounced across the maze to the other side. Here, though, there was a pre-puzzle involving blue lasers on a track. Apparently, blue lasers measured ‘not moving’ as relative to the ground and not relative to the thing just below the swordsman; he had to perfectly cancel his eastwards velocity by running until the laser passed him.

Alphys called him again. “Hey! This, um, doesn’t have anything to do with guiding you, but… uh, would you want to watch a human TV show together? Sometime? It’s called… M-Mew Mew Kissy Cutie…”

“Oh, is this one of those historical documentaries from before the Demon War that Undyne was talking about? Yeah, I’d love to see some history!”

“No no no! This is fake, it’s not real! None of it is!” Alphys quickened to clarify. “D-don’t tell Undyne I said that…”

“My lips are sealed,” he responded. “But man… I would have loved to see what the Surface was like before Demise. We don’t have any of these ‘TV’ things, so I wouldn’t know.”

“Wait…” Alphys said numbly. “You guys don’t have TV…? Then… where are all of my anime coming from?”

Link couldn’t answer that. “Well, if it was made by the humans, I could watch it, I gue--”

“R-really? It’s so good! It’s, um, my favorite show! It’s all about this human girl Mew Mew who has cat ears which humans don’t have so she’s all sensitive about them but like eventually she realizes that her ears don’t matter and that her friends like her just the way she is! It’s really moving! Whoops, spoilers! Also, this sounds really weird, but she has magic powers--”

“Alphys, that’s the singular least weird thing I’ve heard in this entire monologue. I can use magic if I’ve got a conduit.”

“What?!” she exclaimed, flabberghasted. “That upends everything we’ve known about humans this whole time!”

“Well, that’s easy,” Link rejected. “I’m not human.”

Silence. He was half tempted to point out the gibberish book that had disappeared, and how that had talked about humans using magic, but he thought better of it.

“I’m Hylian, which is pretty much the same thing. We have latent magic and pointed ears… supposedly, it’s for hearing the voices of the goddesses. Maybe instead of watching Mew Mew, I can just tell you all about it?”

“I… yeah! That sounds f-fantastic! After you get through all this, of course!”

She hung up, and Link proceeded to annihilate the enemy ship. He’d spent the entire call solving the puzzle, to save some time. The Hero then backtracked to return to the vent maze, and he left out the eastern side.

The following area reeked of cobwebs. It was probably due to the spider’s den situated right next to him. There was also a Save Point, which worried him. That typically meant there was something immediately after it. He made use of the Save Point, allowing him to rejuvenate all of his health up to full… hang on. Why was his HP cap now at 236/236? Hadn’t it been down at 150 earlier?

Whatever. It helped him, so the Hylian couldn’t complain.

It would probably be useful later.

Review Please!

Chapter 13: Dragging Down

Chapter Text

I forgot to mention this last chapter, but we have officially eclipsed Tears of Memory in faves and follows! Speaking of TOM, why is that fic not dead? Seriously, it’s been a full year since it came out and it’s had at least one person visit it daily. Jeez.

RRRP:

Spellflame (FF): Well, that’s the idea.

Swordmouse (AO3): It’s not a bluff, it’s an educated risk.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): I thought that was funny too. Who wouldn’t be miffed by Mettaton, honestly? Seriously, to Link’s knowledge, this is an unfamiliar entity that is literally trying to murder him on live television. And again, it’s not a bluff, it’s an educated risk. There’s a thin difference.

Wondering Muse (FF): Hyrule Warriors is not alluded to directly in this fic, although in retrospect I should have done that. Oh well, I already tossed in an easter egg referencing Hyrule Warriors in Snowdin somewhere, and that should suffice. I’m going to leave it to you guys to find it, though. If anyone knows what that easter egg is, tell everyone in a review!

Chapter 12

The spiders’ den had been surprisingly anticlimactic. The swordsman got the feeling that he was supposed to have fought the bake sale lady there, but since he had proven himself not evil beforehand, the whole thing was moot.

As he left the area, he noted a massive poster stuck onto the wall with Mettaton’s likeness ingrained on it. It appeared to be advertising a ‘test stage performance’, whatever that was. It was talking about a slew of nauseatingly romantic garbage not wholly dissimilar to a suspiciously thick tome he’d seen in Malon’s room one time. He’d ended up there by accident while trying to figure out how to get Ingo off of the ranch. And it was apparently set to begin in five minutes.

He groaned, summoned forth the most tolerant mindset he could muster, and stepped forwards. Link found himself on a small strip of tiled stone overlooking several electrically-lighted buildings off in the distance. There was a set of stairs leading up to a raised platform, which was done up with surprisingly detailed stone structure. If Link had seen this in Hyrule, he’d hardly have batted an eye.

“Oh?” Mettaton’s ear-grating metallic voice spewed forth from above. “That human… Could it be… my one true love?”

The Hylian nearly choked on his own surprise as he wildly twisted his head around in an effort to find the oversized talking ingot, eventually finding him atop the balcony, staring down at him. His frontal screen was completely crimson, but what drew Link’s attention was the absurdly incongruent baby blue dress he was decked out in. It was… ridiculous. Honestly, the Hero should have seen something like this coming at this point.

Mettaton hiked up his attire as he slowly rolled down the stairs until he was just inches from Link’s unimpressed face. Meanwhile, off in the distance, a comically tragic piano tune began to play. The Hylian began tapping his foot in exasperation. Couldn’t the robot just cut to the chase and try to kill him already?

“Oh my love…” Mettaton began to sing artificially, causing Link to pinch the bridge of his nose. He didn’t want to be a part of this… actually, what was stopping him from leaving? At the very instant he neared the exit, electric barriers crackled to life, enclosing Link in the serenade. Ah, that was it.

“Please run away…” the AI urged despite preventing him from doing just that. “Monster King… forbids your stay… Humans must… live far apart… Even if… it breaks my heart…”

All the while, he was moving about, flailing his hands about in positions that conveyed his raw sorrow for the whole ordeal. Yes. Because that was totally genuine, and Mettaton definitely wasn’t going to attempt to murder him in the next few minutes or so. At that time, a flood of salmon-shaded rose petals descended from the cave ceilings above and lodged themselves in Link’s bangs. Irksome things…

“They’ll put you…” Mettaton continued. “In the dungeon… It’ll suck… And then you’ll die… a lot…”

“You seem to have a very minimal opinion of me,” Link grumbled inaudibly.

“Really sad… You’re gonna die… cry, cry, cry… so sad it’s happening…”

The petals stopped, as did the piano, and a shooting star appeared for a split second in the distance.

“So sad,” Mettaton commented, without the overbearing inflections of his singing voice. “So sad that you are going to the dungeon…” He then procured a small steel brick with a crimson button in it. “Well, toodles!”

Oh Goddesses, the floor was about to open up beneath him. Link wasted no time in springing off of his current spot, watching in slight contentment as the trap activated, but failed.

Then he started falling.

He twisted, realizing his mistake, as the entire floor immediately opened up to swallow him whole. He fell straight through, and there was nothing he could do.

The Hero of Time fell onto a reddish slab of land overlooking the vat of lava that was a staple of Hotlands. Before him sat a vast array of squares of monochromatic colors that looked… oddly familiar. He couldn’t place it, though.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do,” Mettaton droned, floating down into the area. “My love has been cast away into the dungeon. A dungeon with a puzzle so dastardly, my paramour will surely perish!”

Link scoffed.

“Oh, heavens have mercy! The dreaded colored tile maze! Each colored tile has its own sad*stic function. For example, a green tile will sound a noise, and then you will fight a monster. Red tiles will… actually, wait a second. Didn’t we see this puzzle about a hundred rooms ago? That’s right, you remember all the rules, don’t you? Great, then I won’t waste your time with repeating them!”

It clicked. That was it! He’d seen this exact puzzle in Snowdin with Papyrus, that failed horribly! He’d even made up quick little anecdotes for each of the tile colors! Red was impassable like the lava in Death Mountain. Yellow meant pain, like the Triforce, the whole point of his first adventure. Green meant a fight, like Mido back in Kokiri Forest. Orange for oranges. Blue for water, and if he was just on an orange tile, fish would attack him like Ruto had once tried to get married to him. Yellow meant a shock, and water conducts electricity, like how there were electric enemies in Jabu-Jabu’s Belly and the Great Bay Temple. Purple was slippery like ice with lavender frozen into it, and Ruto was allergic to lavender. This would be a simple--

Wait.

The end of the maze was protected by a wall of pink tiles… what did pink tiles do again? Link racked his brain for an answer, but came up with nothing. Maybe this wouldn’t be so easy after all.

“Oh, and you’d better hurry. Because if you don’t get through in thirty seconds… this wall of flames will incinerate you!” So it was like that one room in the Fire Temple. “Ahahahahahahahahaha! My poor love… I’m so filled with grief, I can’t stop laughing!”

Link wasn’t sure that was how grief worked, but he didn’t care. He was more focused on not being burnt alive right now, and so he dashed into the maze.

!0*0!

The first tile was blue, and Link swam across it. The tile adjacent to it was green, and Link didn’t wait to fight a monster; that would be bad for his time. He had to duck to the right to avoid a red tile, picking up an orange scent in the process. He then slid across three consecutive purple tiles and slammed painfully into a red wall. He tried moving left, but was shocked by the yellow tile there. Grumbling to himself at the wasted time, he doubled back across the purple slides and immediately traveled upwards, following a short path of green tiles before reapplying the orange scent to himself via an orange tile. The Hylian then tried to swim upwards, where several more orange tiles lay, but the annoying piranhas there forced him to backtrack around to a nearby purple tile. Ducking around a red tile, Link slid towards the end, towards--

Towards the wall of pink tiles barring the end.

Oh Goddesses, what did he do what did he do what did he do? He paused in a blue tile, racking his brain for any possible answer. Nothing came. Desperately, he glanced at the clock, and realized with shocking clarity that he only had a few seconds left before he was cooked alive. Realizing that he had no alternatives, the Hero hauled himself from the frigid water and spent his last second bracing for whatever was coming his way--

Nothing happened, but a buzzer sounded. The tiles drained themselves of their color as Mettaton tsked condescendingly above him. What was the pink tile doing?

“Ooooh, I’m so sorry! Looks like you’re out of time!” Mettaton commented gleefully, not sounding sorry at all. Evidently, the timer had gone down to zero, and the pink tiles had actually done nothing at all. Link berated himself internally for forgetting something so simple.

Especially because it was going to be the death of him.

“Here comes the flames, darling!'' The dress-wearing robot crowed as a duo of massive flame walls cornered him where he stood, just inches from the end of the maze. As they approached, they slowed to draw out the death scene for every precious second of run time it was worth. “They’re closing in! Getting closer! Oh my! Any minute now!”

The firewall proceeded to stop dead in its tracks, just inches from Link’s sides. Any closer and it might just do some damage. Mettaton coughed robotically.

As if on cue, Link’s phone rang, and it automatically accepted itself. “W-watch out!” Alphys said. “I’m hacking into the firewall right now!”

“How the [REDACTED] do you hack into a wall of fire?” Link started to ask, only for the flames to sputter out of existence.

“Oh no!” Mettaton cursed overzealously. “How could this happen? I’ve been foiled again by the brilliant Doctor Alphys!” He started to say something more, but was cut off by the Lizalfos again.

“That’s right! Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You’ll never be able to defeat us… not as long as we work together! Your puzzle’s over… now go home and leave us alone!”

Link began to become suspicious. It was almost like Mettaton and Alphys were in cahoots… actually, that made a scary amount of sense, now that he thought about it. Half of the time, Mettaton had to finish Alphys’s sentences for her, or summon her to save Link like with the cough. The Hylian sighed.

“Puzzles? Over? Alphys, darling, what are you talking about? Did you forget what the green tiles do? They make a sound, and then you have to fight a monster. Well, darling… that monster is me!”

Link was yanked into the Combat Plane, in which he immediately slashed at the irritating robot. Its plated exterior was too thick for him to cut through anyway, so there was no point in not hitting it. Nothing in the Act menu would likely help him anyway.

“This is it, darling! Say goo-- wait, is that your phone? You’d better answer it.”

Yup. They were definitely in cahoots.

“H-hey! This seems bad, but don’t worry! There’s o-one last thing I installed on your phone… You see that ‘Yellow’ button? Go press that!”

Dutifully, Link followed the scientist’s orders. It seemed to be resonating with Mettaton’s presence or something. In the Battle Box, his Soul slowly rotated around before turning yellow in a flash. Interesting.

“Now fire!” Alphys encouraged. Link wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but he just followed his new Soul’s batch of instincts. A similar thing had occurred when he’d been turned blue and green. A tiny sun-shaded projectile flung itself out of the tip of his soul and collided with Mettaton’s exterior, causing it to buckle and shake a bit. Eagerly, Link continued, pummeling the robot’s exoskeleton with a barrage of small shots.

“Oooooh…” Mettaton groaned comically. “You have defeated me! How can this be, you were stronger than I thought, et cetera… whatever…”

Mettaton then proceeded to unceremoniously exit the premises. “L-looks like you beat him!” Alphys commented. “You did a really good job out there.”

The swordsman was about to accuse her of rigging this whole thing, but she cut him off.

“Um, hey, this might sound strange, but… can I tell you something?” At Link’s noncommittal grunt, she continued. “B-before I met you, I d-didn’t really… I didn’t really like myself all that much. For a long time, I felt like a total-screw-up. L-like I couldn’t do anything without… letting everyone down. But… guiding you has made me feel… a lot better about myself. So… thanks for letting me help you.”

The Hylian found her confession poignant and relatable. Throughout both of his adventures, those very feelings of inadequacy had coursed through his veins and consumed his psyche. In some instances, they dominated and overruled his common sense. Link was happy that she’d managed to work through some of her issues; while there would still be stints of sadness, things would overall get better for her.

That still didn’t excuse staging a gauntlet of murderous traps for him while scapegoating a TV robot, though.

!0*0!

“Uh, anyways, we’re almost to the core,” Alphys was saying. “It’s just past MTT Resort. Come on, let’s finish this!”

Link hung up, strolling out of the puzzle area and passing the Royal Guards he had forged a relationship between earlier. They were enjoying some Nice Creams. They seemed happy. The impressive facade of MTT Resort was awash with light, illuminating a posh red carpet with its artificial illuminance.

And Sans.

“Hey,” the stout skeleton greeted. “I heard you’re going to the core… howzabout grabbing some dinner with me first?”

“No harm in not,” Link consented. “As long as nothing tries to murder me.”

“Great, thanks for treating me,” he commented, moving towards the darkness flanking the building to the left. “Over here. I know a shortcut.”

“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say this is a ploy to steal all of my stuff,” Link joked sardonically, following Sans into the empty alleyway. Through some convoluted machination, they ended up seated at an incredibly fancy table of some kind. Link had never been allowed to partake in such fineries. The tables here even had cloths to cover them specifically to make them look nicer. Nothing in either Hyrule or Termina had had that.

“Well, here we are,” he observed. “So, your journey’s almost over, huh? You must really want to go home.”

“Yeah,” Link replied, before sinking deep in thought. Hyrule didn’t remember him, Termina had no reason to remember him, and he couldn’t go back to the Kokiri. Where was his home, anyway? On Epona’s back? But the Hylian had sent her to Lon Lon Ranch. Close to Malon.

Yeah, that was definitely home.

And he also had to worry about retrieving all of his things he’d left at the campsite and oh dear Goddesses the Ocarina of Time was there. In the pandemonium of falling into the Underground and suffering an inflammation of his anxieties, he’d completely forgotten about the instrument that had completely destroyed his life. He couldn’t let that fall into the wrong hands… Zelda would never forgive him!

Evidently seeing the worry and fear that had invaded Link’s expression, the monster shot him a reassuring glance. “Hey. I know the feeling, buddo. Though… maybe sometimes it’s better to take what’s given to you. Down here you’ve already got food, drink, friends… Is what you have to do… really worth it?”

The Ocarina of Time.

Home.

Navi.

“Yes,” Link said, with no hesitation. “There’s too much at stake. I can’t afford to sacrifice it… for anything.”

Sans raised a nonexistent eyebrow. Link swallowed, knowing that he’d said too much and piqued the skeleton’s interest.

“Ah, forget it,” he said after a long pause, causing the Hero to sag with relief. “I’m rooting for ya, kid.”

He looked off to the side errantly, as if contemplating something.

“Lemme tell you a story, kid. So I’m a sentry in Snowdin Forest, right? I sit out there and watch for humans. Kind of boring, y’know. Fortunately, deep in the forest… there’s this huge locked door. And it’s perfect for practicing knock-knock jokes.”

“You’re kidding me.” Link stated flatly. “Let me guess: Toriel answered one of your jokes?”

Sans blinked. “Wait, Toriel? The queen Toriel?”

Link nodded. “She even had an entire book dedicated to bone puns.”

“Heh. Yeah, this woman was extremely good. We kept telling each other jokes for hours. It’s a thing now: telling bad jokes through the door. It rules.”

Link nodded. “You’re lucky to have that.”

“You say that like you don’t.”

“Because I don’t.”

“Why not?”

He was about to reply, but realized he was about to be forced to talk about his adventures, so he bit his tongue. The swordsman shrugged instead. “I’m a bit of a social outcast. Too jumpy.”

Sans appeared doubtful, but didn’t voice his suspicions.

“Back at your house… where I almost killed you and then you almost killed me… uh… you mentioned something called ‘KR’,” Link blurted, trying desperately to change the subject. “What is that?”

“Karmic retribution,” Sans grumbled. “The more LOVE you accumulate, the more damaging my skill set becomes. I don’t know why you had to get so many, but… well, it means that KR can bring you down to 1 HP pretty easily. Actually, speaking of damage, one day Toriel wasn’t laughing as much. I asked her what was up, then she told me something strange. ‘If a human ever comes through this door, could you please, please promise to watch over them and protect them?’ Now, I hate making promises. And Toriel… I hardly even know her. But someone who likes bad jokes has an integrity you can’t say no to. You get what I’m saying? You know what would have happened to you if she hadn’t said anything?”

He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, they were pitch black, adding a threatening aura to his visage.

“Buddy… you’d be dead where you stand.”

And he kept smiling. Link remained unmoved. Majora had been leagues more off-putting than anything Sans could muster.

Evidently, he attributed the Hylian’s lack of response to fear, and his pupils returned.

“Hey, lighten up, bucko! Haven’t I done a great job of protecting you? I mean, look at yourself. You haven’t died once!”

Link tried to keep his face emotionless, but couldn’t resist a dismissive snort.

“What’s that look supposed to mean? Am I wrong?”

He let out a shuddering sigh. “Yes, you are.”

Sans remained very still, revelations dancing just behind the dark shadows within his eye sockets. They were given no voice. His smile remained exactly the same as it always did. He stood like that for a very long time before mechanically moving towards a potted bush in the corner.

“Well, that’s all,” the monster said, doing quite a good job of keeping his voice steady. “Take care of yourself, kid… ‘cause someone really cares about you.”

And then he was gone. Link took a moment to collect his bearings before going out the door to the restaurant, ignoring the Snowdrake telling jokes on a stage.

He would go into the core soon. And then he’d be back in Hyrule. Back to being a nobody.

Back to Navi.

But before he did that, the swordsman ventured back into Hotland and glanced over the edge into the murky vat of lava below him. His mind postulated the idea of pitching forwards, falling, and being consumed. His body rebelled, pushing him farther away from the precipice of the platform. Swallowing his reservations, he inched closer, rummaged through his pouch, and tossed the vial of pills Alphys had given him off of the cliff into the magma below. He was perfectly fine, he didn’t need them. He didn’t need to fix what wasn’t broken. He’d spent too long in the skin of an adult, a Deku Scrub, a Goron, a Zora, and a God to be comfortable in anyone else’s.

Yeah.

Review Please!

Chapter 14: Powering Down

Chapter Text

The Core.

RRRP:

ENDDRAGON369 (FF): I didn’t think it was thematically appropriate for the Fierce Deity to play a part in HL.

MarkOfThree (FF): Why thank you! I can’t tell you which ending will happen because of spoilers. Welcome back!

SoralTheSol (FF): Looking back on it, I do agree that the whole ‘you’d be dead where you stand’ thing is a bit forced, but only because it sets up the ‘yes, you are’ line from Link a few seconds later. The reason Sans doesn’t try to get Link to open up is partially because that takes effort and partially because he still at least somewhat thinks that Link is a bad person. Hopefully, that’s a satisfactory explanation. Thanks for the feedback!

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): I really appreciate all the support! If you want more Malink, Tears of Memory has more of that.

Chapter 13

Delicate piano playing could be heard playing throughout the core’s interior. It was uncannily reminiscent of how Ganondorf had been playing an organ as he had ascended the tower. Absentmindedly, Link wondered where it was coming from. The entire place glowed with an omnipresent teal light that strained Link’s eyes. The floor was textured a deep blue with tealish decorations, which was quite impressive considering the fact that it was made out of steel.

“Ready? This is it!” Alphys revealed via telephone. “Take the elevator up to the top of the core!”

“Seems simple enough… oh wait, it’s not working,” he drawled.

“What? It should be working… well then! Go to the right and keep heading up!”

“But the path to the right ends in a chasm… which is on fire.”

“That pit… isn’t on my map. Well then… let’s try the other path!”

Link did so, and was immediately beset by a cluster of dark, nondescript shapes. What kind of monster was this?

Evidently a Madjick, judging by the dialogue box that was displayed in the Combat Plane. The Hero of Time perused his options: Check, Talk, Stare, Clear Mind. He doubted talking would help, and he didn’t see the benefits of clearing his mind, so by process of elimination, he opted to Stare at what the dialogue box apparently dubbed the ‘Chaser Orb’. It was supposedly weakened by his stare. Now it was the monster’s turn, who spent it flinging silvery spheres at his Soul. There were only three, but they continuously sought out his heart of hearts. Now that it was Link’s turn again, he stared at the ‘Corner Orb’, which was also weakened. The spheres were puking crosses now from the corners of the Battle Box, but they weren’t moving, so Link found it even easier to maneuver around. Now that Madjick’s orbs were wholly incapacitated, Link was able to safely exit combat.

“Th-that was close…” Alphys sighed. “Wh-why are there so many monsters here? I mean… it’s no problem, r-r-right? We’ve just got to keep heading forward!”

Link nodded mutely, again contemplating the strange mechanics of the Underground’s combat system, as his legs robotically moved him forwards. Unfortunately, the Hylian couldn’t go far, as his progress was halted by a force field.

“Looks like you can’t proceed until you hit the switch,” Alphys said. “B-but those lasers will activate when you do. Looks like they’ll come in the order: orange, orange, blue.”

The Hero of Time slammed his fist into the red button by the forcefield, and said barrier dissipated. The lasers that followed, however, were not the colors Alphys had predicted; rather, they were the exact opposite. Fortunately, Link’s hyper-honed instincts easily allowed him to adapt to this surprise, and he wasn’t harmed in the slightest.

“Oh my god are you hurt? I’m so sorry I gave you the wrong order! E-e-everything’s going to be fine! Let’s just keep heading to the right!”

“You seem awfully nonchalant about this,” Link grumbled, continuing.

“Wait wait wait! Go up!” Alphys recommended.

“How about we don’t?” Link groaned. “I can see another monster up there. Big one with a spear and eyes in their chest.”

The royal scientist immediately changed the subject. “More lasers,” she pointed out. “Okay, I… I won’t mess around this time. I’ll just deactivate them all!”

“Good idea,” Link praised. “Especially because there’s an entire wall of blue lasers here at least a hundred meters deep that I can’t get through.”

Silence on the other side of the phone.

“They’re… they’re not shutting off… I can’t turn them off, I… this is fine. I have this under control! I’m going to turn off the power for that whole node! Th-then you can walk across. Ready!”

At that word the entire room went dark, the wall of blue lasers dissipating. An errant glance behind him confirmed that the moving lasers were also shut off. Link casually jogged across, not wanting to waste too much energy here when he had to worry about other monsters and puzzles later in the Core--

“W-wait! Stop!” the Lizalfos screamed.

Link froze, and his instinct served him well. The lights began flickering, and then the wall of blue lasers reformed all around him. Had he been moving, he would have been fried.

“The power… it’s turning itself back on…” Alphys commented. “Damn it, this isn’t supposed to… I-I’m going to turn it off again. When it turns off, move until the lights flicker, then stop. Okay? You won’t get hurt.”

Link opted to walk the straight. If he went too fast, not only would he expend energy, but he would also find it harder to stop in time. The lights went out, and the swordsman was able to move solely a few paces before the lasers reactivated. Then Alphys took them down again, and the loop repeated an innumerable amount of times. The air began to reek with the acrid scent of ozone, invading Link’s nostrils and deadening his sense of smell to anything else.

Eventually, he escaped and made it to a crossroads. Alphys had no idea where he should go, claiming that ‘this wasn’t like on her map’. She promptly abandoned him in the Core. After making use of the Save Point, the ex-Kokiri blindly marched forwards. The path quickly took a turn towards the right, which Link followed. He was immediately ambushed by more of those shadowy monsters, although it wasn’t Madjick or the one with a face on its chest. Rather, this particular duo of mercenaries were awfully reminiscent of the Ruins’ Whimsun and Froggit, except more threatening. Link made the assumption that their combat would be nearly identical to the way they had fought back at the entrance to the Underground.

So, too, would his method of acting.

He immediately complimented the Final Froggit. Unlike last time, it understood him perfectly, but it still didn’t offer mercy. It nodded sagely.

“I’ve made my peace,” the enemy Whimsalot reassured itself, tightening the grip on its spear. A swarm of astral butterflies began fluttering upwards in bursts from the bottom of the Battle Box while fluttering flies targeted him from above. The Hylian took some damage in the encounter, but his titanic health pool of 212 would keep him going for quite some time.

Again, Link cursed his fluctuating health cap. He opted to try doing something mysterious, but what? He spread his arms wide, blade clattering out of his hands and towards the ground. He hadn’t remembered drawing it from its sheath. Hesitantly opening his eyes, he realized that the Final Froggit was scanning his form inquisitively, evidently realizing it still had more to learn from this world. It croaked remorsefully, then hopped away.

“Not this time,” Whimsalot said, more spurts of butterflies chasing him down. By staying near the top of the Battle Box, Link was able to remain unscathed. Consoling the monster was the way he’d done it in the Ruins, but the Final Froggit had shown him that the old ways weren’t enough this time around. He instead opted to pray for not his safety, but the Whimsalot’s. There was a flicker of something behind its chrome visor-- its conscience. “Maybe… there’s still hope.”

That was wrong, but it was innocuous enough to believe.

Once he exited the Combat Plane, Link took a moment to contemplate the monsters he’d been facing. He wasn’t sure how he knew this, but he could tell that they were mercenaries. They had that same look in their eyes, the same resigned expression, as the men who Link had once seen camping out in a corner of Hyrule Field as a youth. He’d never gone over there.

Another pack of mercenaries attempted to beset him. By the looks of it, the pair was made up of a Madjick and that one with the face on its chest. The swordsman hastily backpedaled out of reach before sprinting forwards, sliding under the Madjick’s floating feet along the cold steel floor. Immediately afterwards, he got back up and continued his mad dash. Vaguely, he could hear the frenzied clacking of his adversaries’ footsteps behind him. They were promptly joined by a massive floating eyeball with teeth-- an Astigmatism. They were closing in on him, they were just twenty meters away-- ten meters away-- five meters--

Suddenly, a blue laser thrummed to life just between Link and his attackers. Alphys must have activated it. Knight Knight was stopped in her tracks, but Madjick and Astigmatism were able to simply fly over the obstacle and engage with Link directly. The Madjick was easily subdued when Link glared at its orbs so ferociously that Ganondorf would have been jealous. The other, however, was another story. It kept insisting that Link pick on it. So he did, and it relented, allowing Link to flee deeper into the Core.

Unfortunately, his path ended rather quickly with a button, which he pressed. It didn’t seem to reveal anything, so Link backtracked to the nearest crossroads and picked a direction. The Hero then followed that until he came across another one of those ship puzzles like the ones in Hotlands. He solved it rather quickly, but that didn’t seem to do anything either. At a loss, Link moved towards the only other path available to him. He realized that he was going the right direction when he came across an elevator terminal, a Save Point, and possibly the most elaborate door he had ever come across, emblazoned with a technological Delta Rune and everything. Link presumed that it had actually come from the Triforce, the three triangles the only memory of the monsters’ bygone age of living on the surface. Did that mean that the monsters had once worshipped the Three? An interesting presumption, to be sure. But Link didn’t have time to debate the theological. He had to get home.

To Navi.

!0*0!

The space was tiny and cramped, as well as barely illuminated. It was filled with the sounds of esoteric machinery, whose inner workings flew clear beyond the Hylian’s limited understanding. The whole place bore the faint light of an artificial blue, giving it an eerie aura.

And Mettaton was there too.

Link merely sighed.

“Oh yes, there you are, darling,” Mettaton greeted. “It’s high time to have our little showdown. It’s time to finally stop this ‘malfunctioning’ robot… not! Malfunctioning? Reprogramming? Get real.”

Link showed no emotion. He literally couldn’t care less.

“You see, this was all just a big show. An act,” the robot declared, spreading his arms out in a way that made him seem very much in control. “Alphys has been playing you for a fool the whole time!”

“Oh, I knew that,” Link stated cooly. “She can’t act to save her life.”

The AI ignored him. “As she watched you on the screen, she grew attached to your adventure. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. So she decided to insert herself into your story. She reactivated puzzles, she disabled elevators, she enlisted me to torment you; all so she could save you from dangers that didn’t exist. All so you’d think she’s the great person... that she’s not.

“And now, it’s time for her finest hour. At this very moment, Alphys is waiting outside of the room. During our ‘battle’, she will interrupt. She will ‘deactivate’ me, ‘saving’ you for the final time. Finally, she’ll be the heroine of your adventure. You’ll regard her so highly, she’ll even be able to convince you not to leave.

“Or not. You see, I’ve had enough of this predictably charade. I have no desire to harm humans. Far from it, actually,” Mettaton revealed. “My only desire is to entertain. After all, the audience deserves a good show, don’t they? And what’s a good show without a plot twist?”

At his words, the thin passageway Link had come from, that led back to the core, slammed shut with some kind of soldered door. There was no escape. Only Mettaton.

“H-h-hey! What’s going on?” the royal scientist’s muffled voice demanded from the other side of the door. “T-the door j-j-just locked itself!”

“Sorry, folks! The old show’s just been cancelled!” the robot addressed the audience. “But we’ve got a finale that’ll drive you wild!”

The floor below Link’s feet spontaneously began elevating itself at rapid speeds as dazzling crimson spotlights danced all around him. “Bold of you to presume that this is my finale,” Link whispered as loudly as he dared.

“Real action! Real drama! Real bloodshed!” Mettaton crowed, screen rapidly flashing red and gold. “On our new show, ‘Attack of the Killer Robot!’”

And with that, the fight began. Link wasn’t sure if killing Mettaton counted as killing a monster… he was a robot, and he thought it was reasonably safe to say that it was a hundred percent machinery. Then again, the quiz show had said that he was made out of metal and magic… Did that mean he did count? Link knew he didn’t want to kill any monsters because Flowey told him to do just that, and the Hylian was willing to do anything to spite that little monstrosity.

“Yes, I was the one that rearranged the core. I was the one that hired everyone to kill you. That, however, was a shortsighted plan. You know what would be a hundred times better? If I killed you myself!”

Contrary to this statement, Mettaton did literally nothing during his turn, allowing Link to merely mash Spare again. Even the text in the dialogue box seemed confused by this.

“Listen, darling, I’ve seen you fight. You’re weak. If you continue forwards, Asgore will take your soul. And with your soul, he will destroy humanity… but that’s just an act, isn’t it?”

At long last, the AI finally attacked. Several large boxes cascaded down from the sky, and Link, realizing that his soul was inexplicably yellow, fired off several soul shots, which each destroyed one of the boxes. It was like in those ship puzzles, to be quite frank.

“But if I take your soul, I can stop Asgore’s plan!” Mettaton stated emotionlessly. “I can save humanity from destruction!”

Immovable arms started to fall down, accompanied on one side by more boxes. Link destroyed those, then dashed to the other side of the Battle Box to slip through the boxes there. A third arm then fell, but it had no boxes for Link to smash through. Rather, there was an oscillating yellow panel moving along it. Hazarding a guess, Link shot it, and the arm retreated.

“Using your soul, I can cross through the barrier… and I’ll become the star I’ve always dreamed of being. Hundreds, thousands… no, millions of humans will watch me!”

“Doubt it,” Link drawled, shooting more boxes and yellow panels. “No such thing as electricity up there.” By the Three, the Underground was weird.

“Glitz! Glamour! I’ll finally have it all!” Mettaton squealed in ecstasy, completely disregarding the logistics of Link’s statements. “So what if a few people have to die? That’s showbiz, baby!”

Link’s phone buzzed. It was, predictably, Alphys. “Uh… uh… I can’t see what’s going on in there, but… d-d-don’t give up, okay? Th-there’s one last way to beat Mettaton. It’s, um, it’s… it’s a work in progress, so don’t judge it too hard… You know how Mettaton always faces forwards? That’s because there’s a switch on his back. So if you can turn him around, and, u-u-um.. Press the switch… he’ll be, um… he’ll be… Vulnerable. I’m trying to break through this door! Gotta go!”

The line went dead, and despite Link’s inhibitions towards the Lizalfos, he decided to roll with it. The swordsman drew his blade and batted aside an yellow-paneled arm before ducking under a bomb, which caused a crossbuck-shaped explosion perpendicular to the Battle Box. He slid across the floor directly underneath Mettaton’s bulky body, spied the comically oversized switch labeled ‘Switch’, and flipped it as quickly as he could. The robot froze.

“Did you… Did you just flip… my switch?” the entertainer asked, sounding hesitant. It slapped its hands on either side of its body as its screen began flashing in an incomprehensible slew of different colors. He began moving erratically before Link’s vision was consumed by a blinding white flash. But he wasn’t deaf to the sensually charged words, “Ohhhhhh yessssss!”

It didn’t sound like Mettaton. Mettaton’s voice was lacking the inflection that this new one did, although this also sounded artificial. What had pulling that switch done? From above, several strange apparatuses descended from the gloom before spewing light forwards upon where Mettaton had once stood. The visage of the robot was still blocked by some sort of artificial fog, although a dark and ominous silhouette was quickly becoming visible. It didn’t look like Mettaton at all. It was significantly less blocky. It possessed a head, torso, and more realistic arms. Its shoulders were extremely exaggerated, jutting out nearly a foot from where the arms left the body. This had to be Mettaton; what living creature looked like that?

But what really drew Link’s attention was the pair of very toned legs.

“Ohhhh my…” Mettaton-- for Link could only presume that it was still Mettaton-- moaned. “If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You’re desperate for the premier of my new body. How rude… Lucky for you, I’ve been aching to show this off for a long, long time. So… as thanks, I’ll give you a reward almost as handsome as me. I’ll make your last living moments…”

The false fog burst away in a flash of light, revealing the chrome and pink body to Link in full. It was slim and angular, but one could be forgiven for thinking it was human from a distance if not for the coloring. Its waist was emblazoned with a white heart, and its chest had detailed things on it that Link couldn’t decipher.

“Absolutely beautiful!”

!0*0!

“Lights! Camera! Action!” Mettaton declared before roundhouse kicking Link several times across the face. For some reason, this caused the ratings to go up due to ‘violence points’. At least they weren’t going down. For a few seconds, Link was mildly worried, because those long, metallic lower limbs were quite hard to dodge, even though he could shorten them by shooting it with his yellow Soul.

Then he realized that the whole thing had only dealt sixteen damage. On second thought, maybe he’d be fine.

He perused his options in the Act menu, acutely aware of how the ratings were decreasing as time went on.

“That’s it? Come on now. If this is all you’ve got, I can probably best you without even being touched,” Link scoffed. According to the dialogue box, ratings would go up instead of down for Mettaton’s turn now-- at least, for as long as he didn’t get hurt.

“Drama! Romance! Bloodshed!” Mettaton ordered, shifting from extravagant pose to extravagant pose as several bombs fell out of the sky for the Hylian to shoot down. Despite their plus-shaped explosions, he remained unscathed. The same could be said of the little Mettatons, who floated down with their umbrellas and lobbed a few small hearts at him before retreating. “I’m the idol everyone craves!”

A wall consisting of more legs than Mettaton actually had slowly descended. A few well-timed shots were enough to take care of them. “Now, smile for the-- actually, it’s pop quiz time! I hope you’ve got a number 2 pencil ready! This one’s an essay question!”

“What’s a number 2 pencil?” Link asked sheepishly, suddenly realizing that he could ask a question that had been nagging him for the last few minutes. A small piece of wood with some malleable metal inside of it was promptly shoved into his hands, as was a piece of paper. The singular question was ‘Why do you love Mettaton?’

Instead of actually answering the question, Link opted to ask ‘Where did you get legs?’

“Correct!” the AI lauded, completely circumventing the question. Ratings leapt upwards by a whopping one thousand points. “You know, that essay really showed everyone your heart… Why don’t I show you mine?”

The little white soul design on Mettaton’s chest was suddenly infused with life as it floated off of its place on his waist. Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve… er, navel. It promptly began spewing tiny white electric shocks in a circle all around it. The Hero bobbed and weaved around the attacks, taking special note of the mini-Mettatons that occasionally descended to throw more hearts at him. “Now, how are you on the dance floor?”

A decently-sized speckled circle formed at the top of the Battle Box, spewing light in very specific rays downwards. They were both blue, but to Link’s horror, as they rotated, a white ray was revealed. Reacting on instinct, Link fired off a bolt, which hit the disco ball and flipped the color back to blue. The remainder of the attack passed in comparative calm. The air reeked of Mettaton.

Next, the Battle Box was shrunken down to a tiny space barely wide enough for Link to move his Soul out of the way of the blasts of the bombs that were currently being lobbed at him. Mettaton’s posing became even more frenzied, almost impossibly fast at this point. The ratings were sitting at a respectable eight thousand. He just had to keep this up until… how long, actually?

“You seem distant, darling,” Mettaton cooed. “How about another heart to heart?”

Mettaton’s soul again distanced itself from his body, although this time it was surrounded by a circle of breakable boxes. Link, now knowing that this core was Mettaton’s weak point, immediately began to unload as many of his yellow shots as he could onto the small white heart. Immediately afterwards, Mettaton’s arms fell off, his core not able to sustain the power to keep both them and his legs powered.

“A… arms… who needs arms with legs like these?” Mettaton asked, tiredly. “I’m still going to win!”

At least the posing had calmed down.

Now there was a ‘Record’ and ‘Rewind’ function that he had to worry about, which caused time to reverse itself whenever Mettaton deemed fit. It even recreated the bombs that Link had shot down, annoyingly enough.

“Enough,” Mettaton agreed. “Do you really want humanity to perish? Or do you just ‘believe in yourself’ that much? Well, darling, it’s either me or you! But I think we already know who’s going to win… Witness the true power of humanity’s star!”

For the final time, Mettaton’s core emerged, flanked by a pair of bombs, as an army of chrome legs assaulted all sides of the Battle Box. Link ignored them entirely, knowing he had enough health to absorb any attacks Mettaton threw at him. He focused on beating that core up enough to force the robot to accept his mercy.

With one last metallic groan, the AI’s legs gave out, leaving the torso motionless in front of him. “Then… are you the star? Can you really protect humanity?”

Link nodded wordlessly as Mettaton’s core spewed focused jolts of electricity directly at him. It was easy enough to dodge without too much of an issue. The swordsman took his turn to pose as dramatically as he could to keep the ratings as high up as he could.

He surpassed ten thousand.

“Ooooh, look at those ratings!” Mettaton commented. “This is the most viewers I’ve ever had! We’ve reached the viewer call-in milestone! One lucky viewer will have the chance to talk to me… before I leave the Underground forever! Let’s see who calls in first!”

A small tendril extricated itself from Mettaton’s chest. It bore a ringing phone. “Hi, you’re on TV! What do you have to say on this, our last show?”

“Oh…” the tinny voice on the end of the phone answered hesitantly. Link immediately recognized it as Napstablook, and apparently Mettaton recognized it too, given the flicker of realization in his metal eyes. “Hi… Mettaton… I really liked watching your show… my life is pretty boring… but seeing you on the screen brought excitement to my life… vicariously. I can’t tell, but… I guess this is the last episode? I’ll miss you… Mettaton…

“Oh… I didn’t mean to talk for so long… oh…”

“No, wait!” the robot hollered, a look of panic forming on his face. “Wait, Bl--”

Napstablook hung up. But immediately afterwards, the telephone began blaring with tens, dozens, hundreds of voices all lamenting the end of their star. He looked down, eking out a rattling breath. “Ah… I… I see… Everyone, thank you so much!

“Darling,” Mettaton suddenly said, addressing Link directly. “Perhaps… it might be better if I stay here for a while. “Humans already have stars and idols, but monsters… they have me. If I left, the Underground would lose its spark. I’d leave an aching void that could never be filled. So… I think I’ll have to delay my big debut. Besides, you’ve proven that you’re very strong. Perhaps, even strong enough to get past Asgore. I’m sure you’ll be able to protect humanity. Ha, ha… it’s all for the best, anyway. The truth is, this form’s energy consumption is… inefficient.”

“Is that bad?” Link asked meekly, his inexperience with the subject truly shining.

“In a few moments, I’ll run out of battery power, and, well...” Mettaton revealed. “I’ll be alright. Knock ‘em dead, darling. Be a little more HOPEful. And everyone… thank you. You’ve been a great audience!”

With that, her voice sputtered out and she went still. Link removed his Kokiri hat, which he was half-convinced was a part of his body now, and hung his head.

“I managed to get through the door!” Alphys’ obnoxiously cheery voice echoed, ruining any semblance of peace the area had ever had. “Are you two…”

She shoved past Link and cradled Mettaton’s form. “Oh thank god, he’s just out of batteries. Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have… I would have… I mean, hey, it’s no problem, you know? He’s just a robot; if you messed it up, I could have always… J-just built another. Wh-why don’t you go on ahead? I-I need a second.

Link nodded solemnly and made to leave, only for the Lizalfos to interrupt him again. “S-so you’re about to meet Asgore, huh? You must be… you must be… p-pretty excited about all that, huh?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“You’ll f-f-finally… I was just going to say goodbye, and…”

Her smile slowly slipped off of her features.

“I can’t take this anymore,” she stated, a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. “I… I lied to you. A human soul isn’t strong enough to cross the barrier alone. It takes at least a human soul… and a monster soul. If you want to go home…”

She sighed. “You’ll have to take his soul. You’ll have to kill Asgore.”

She began to turn away, then paused. “I’m sorry.”

Then she ran away, out of Link’s sight.

The Hylian looked on, expressionless. His experiences in the Underground made him think that maybe Asgore could be spared. Maybe it would be for the better if Asgore remained alive.

But he had to leave. He had to go back to Hyrule. He had to go back to the Ocarina of Time. He had to go back for Navi.

Link squeezed his eyes shut and breathed for a few seconds before trudging onwards, into an elevator, and pressing the only button available to him. He had to do it. He would do it for himself. He would do it for Hyrule.

He’d do it for Navi.

Hotlands/the Core is the most painful thing to write. Hands down.

Review Please!

Chapter 15: Battling Down

Chapter Text

Pain. Reviewership is dropping. Let’s shoot for five reviews per chapter on average! We’re currently at about 4.5!

RRRP:

Swordmose (AO3): Yeah, those lines were fun.

Supure29 (FF): The time has come indeed! And it most certainly will be a roller coaster! Flowey will also be making an appearance, to everyone’s joy.

Chapter 14

Link wasn’t sure what he was expecting at the other end of the elevator, but an overly bleached Ruins certainly weren’t it.

The module had left him stuck on a single thin path between greyed walls that were absolutely identical to the style commonplace in the Ruins. Then again, it had been constructed by Toriel’s estranged husband… and according to the missing paradox book, she had left him, and not the other way around. It made sense that Asgore would want a reminder of Toriel.

He should have kept that slice of pie she’d given him on his first day in her house. He could have given it to him.

The similarities didn’t end with the architecture. Link quickly stumbled upon a small, cozy house in the middle of the city, which was a carbon copy of Toriel’s home back at the border of Snowdin. Unlike her house, however, it was also inhabited by other monsters, who served the purpose of expositing the history of the Underground to any unfortunate passerby.

“A long time ago, a human fell into the Underground,” a pair of Froggits droned. “Injured by their fall, the human called out for help.”

Link ignored them in favor of snatching a key from the kitchen shelf and backtracking towards the blocked basem*nt entrance.

“Asriel, the king’s son, heard the human’s call,” a Whimsun narrated. “He brought the human back to the castle.”

This must have happened before Toriel and Asgore broke up. There was no way she would let a human pass through the barrier between the Ruins and Snowdin after that. Musing internally, the swordsman unlocked one of the padlocks and would have descended down the steps, had there not been another lock.

“Over time, Asriel and the human became like siblings. The King and Queen treated the human as their own. The Underground was full of hope.”

But where was this Asriel now? Link was distracted from answering this question by taking the other key and opening the way to the basem*nt.

“Then, one day, the human became very ill. That sick human had only one request: to see the flowers from their village… but there was nothing we could do.”

A pair of bound Loox took up the conversation where the others had left off. “The next day, the human died.

“Asriel, wracked with grief, absorbed the human soul. He transformed into a being of incredible power.

“With the human soul, Asriel crossed through the barrier. He carried the human’s body into the sunset. Back to the village of the humans.

“Asriel reached the center of the village. There, he found a bed of golden flowers. He placed the human’s body onto it.

“Suddenly, screams rang out. The villagers had seen Asriel holding the human’s body. They thought that he had killed the child. The humans attacked him with everything they had. Asriel was struck with blow after blow. Asriel had the power to destroy them all… but… Asriel did not fight back. Clutching the human, Asriel smiled, and walked away. Wounded, he stumbled home. He entered the castle and collapsed. His dust spread across the garden.”

Ah, that would explain it. But Link could hardly blame the humans, especially with the existence of the Surface monsters. Stalfos, Skulltulas, Lizalfos, Octoroks, Bokoblins, Dodongos… with a repertoire of monsters that dangerous, it was only natural for the humans to want to defend themselves from other monsters. That being said, the Hylian could understand why the monsters would feel such fury.

“The kingdom fell into despair,” the Whimsalots explained. “The king and queen had lost two children in one night. The humans had once again taken everything from us. The king decided it was time to end our suffering. Every human who falls down here must die. With enough souls, we can shatter the barrier forever. It’s not long now. King Asgore will save us all.”

They went silent, as Link left the walkway and took a right, finding himself in a hallway glowing with golden light. There was someone standing at the end of the corridor, though Link couldn’t quite tell who it was. Cautiously, the Hero approached until some unseen force demanded he stop in his tracks.

“So, you finally made it,” the figure stated. “The end of your journey is at hand.”

“Goddesses damn it, Sans.” Why was it always him?

“In a few moments, you will meet the king. Together, you will determine the future of this world. That’s then. Now, you will be judged. You will be judged for your every action. You will be judged for every EXP you’ve earned. What’s EXP? It’s an acronym. It stands for execution points. A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases.”

The swordsman sighed. He’d hurt so many people. He’d hurt Saria by leaving her to save Hyrule. He’d hurt all the tens of thousands of monsters whose lives he’d had to end with his blade. He’d killed Ganondorf. He’d purged Majora. He hurt Zelda by leaving, he’d hurt Malon by leaving, he’d hurt everyone in Termina by never saying goodbye.

He hurt himself by hating himself, and letting that hate fester within his core.

“And when you have enough EXP, you gain LOVE,” Sans continued. “LOVE, too, is an acronym. It stands for Levels Of ViolencE. A way of measuring someone’s capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you will bring yourself to hurt others.”

Link disagreed with that. He had no choice but to numb himself to death. It was the only way he could have lived with himself, especially in the beginning. Besides, he was acting in the interest of stopping Ganondorf, someone who most certainly was leading the entire kingdom to ruin. And that wasn’t even starting on Majora...

Sans paused. “If you had systematically exterminated every monster you had come across, do you know how much LOVE you’d have right now? Nineteen. You, though… you have a hundred and twenty LOVE. You’re a combat-loving psychopath. You feed off the suffering of others like a leech. You’re a living cesspit of moral filth.”

The Hylian hung his head. He knew, deep down, that Sans was absolutely correct in his judgement. He was a menace. A monster. Something that had no right to exist in any place in this world.

“Or… that’s what I would say, had I only met you now.”

Link blinked, struggling to fight back tears.

“You entered this place at LV 120, and you are going to leave this place at LV 120. You’ve shown more humanity than all the other humans I’ve ever seen. Because you’ve got that apathy, that indifference, that insensitivity, you really had to try to be a good person. And you did it, for our sake. ‘Course, that doesn’t make you completely innocent or naive. Far from it, really. You’re the most consistently terrified saddo sailing the sea of sadness that I’ve ever seen. Just that you kept a certain tenderness in your heart. No matter the struggles or the hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing. You refused to hurt anyone. You never gained LOVE here, but you gained love here. That make sense? Now… this is the point in the speech where I’d say you were about to face the greatest challenge of your entire journey, but that’s not true. You’ve probably faced worse.”

Link nodded mutely, visions of Ganondorf and Majora swimming across his vision like a swarm of hungry locusts.

“Thought so. My point is, this’ll determine the fate of the entire world. If you refuse to fight, Asgore will take your soul and destroy humanity. But if you kill Asgore and go home… monsters will remain trapped underground. So, what’re you going to do?”

He was supposed to answer that?

“Well, if I were you, I’d have thrown in the towel by now. But you didn’t get this far by giving up, did you? Yeah. You’ve got something called ‘courage’. So, so long as you hold on… so long as you don’t falter… I think you can do the right thing. Alright. We’re all counting on you, kid. Good luck.”

And just like that, Sans was gone. The swordsman paused, contemplating himself. As far as he saw it, he had three choices. First, he could kill Asgore and take his soul before crossing through the Barrier. Second, he could die to Asgore and free all monsters, but kill everyone on the surface. No, he definitely wasn’t going to do that. Third, he could drive a bargain: he would offer Asgore his Soul without a fight, in exchange for his own life and the lives of everyone on the Surface. That seemed the most appealing. Yes, he would try that.

The Hylian didn’t even notice that he’d reached the end of the hall.

!0*0!

He could have Saved, but he didn’t bother. It wasn’t like he was going to die or anything. He had a health pool of 191/191, so he doubted that Asgore could actually succeed in killing him regardless of what the king threw at him.

The throne room was covered in an ocean of golden buttercup flowers not unlike the ones he’d seen in the Toriel lookalike house earlier. There was a nest of birds somewhere in the ceiling, chirping away gleefully. Their warbling tune was undercut by the low hum of the massive cape-wearing horned goat monster who Link could only assume was Asgore himself.

The flowers crunched underneath Link’s feet loudly as he approached.

“Oh?” the king said in a low, yet warm voice. “Is someone there?”

“Ye--”

“Just a moment. I’ve almost finished watering these flowers.”

The sound of sprinkling water could be heard.

“There we are,” Asgore sighed, turning around to greet Link. “Howdy!”

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds.

“Erm… pardon me for asking, but… what kind of monster are you? Sorry, I cannot tell.”

Link coughed, equally awkwardly. “You’ve only been hunting me since I came down here.”

Immediately, Asgore stumbled backwards, shock and revelation dancing in his rectangular pupils. “Ah,” he commented, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead. He looked off to one side, nervously. “I so very badly want to say, ‘would you like a cup of tea?’ But… you know how it is…”

The monster king strolled towards the back of the room, careful not to crush any flowers beneath his hoofs. “Nice day today, huh? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming… Perfect weather for a game of catch.”

And here Link thought Asgore was going to say something like ‘and you should be burning in hell’. He guessed not.

Asgore appeared pensive, before a frown overtook his features. “You know what we must do. When you are ready, follow me.”

Link had nothing else to do in the Underground. It was time to return to the Surface.

To the search for Navi.

“You seem tense,” Asgore noted. “Just think of this whole thing like… a trip to the dentist.”

“What’s a dentist?”

Asgore blinked in surprise. A lot of people seemed to do that around Link. “When you are ready, come through here. If you are not, do not worry. I am not ready either.”

They stepped through, and the warmth of sunlight hit Link’s skin for the first time in days. He couldn’t see the sun through the barrier, however. Speaking of the barrier, Link wasn’t sure how it was supposed to look. He’d assumed it would be a stalwart wall, impregnable to anything monsterkind could throw at it. The Hero of Time most certainly wasn’t expecting this schizophrenic flashing corridor that seemed to stretch onwards into infinity.

“This is the barrier. It is what keeps us all trapped underground. If.. by chance you have any unfinished business, please do what you must.”

“Before you try and fight me…” Link dared. “Can I give you my soul anyway without killing me? Or anyone else?”

The goat monster expressed his surprise once again. “I…” An internal conflict danced across his lips. “I…” He bit his lower lip. “Yes.”

Carefully, the Hylian withdrew his dim, blood-orange soul, and maneuvered it to float into Asgore’s grasp. He knew the monster king held his very life in his hands. Link was relying solely on the things that Undyne, Papyrus, Alphys, and Sans had told him. The king was just, they had said. He would value his life.

He handled the human soul like it was myrrh, delicately, almost reverently. Tears began to slide down the goat monster’s cheeks, likely of joy. A sad sort of smile appeared on his lips. “Thank you, human,” he whispered.

And his paws began to squeeze painfully tight around the small, faintly glowing heart. A wave of utter torment coursed through Link’s body, nearly making him collapse to the earth in agony. He could hear the sharp tinkling of hairline fractures beginning to form within his heart of hearts, causing the pain to become ever worse. If his soul shattered, Link would be blown away from this world like an extinguished candle. He couldn’t let that happen. Not for Zelda. Not for Malon. Not for any of the Sages.

Not for Navi.

With an animalistic scream, Link drew his blade and slashed wildly at the monster king, desperate to save his own life above all else. The impromptu nature of the attack was surprisingly not enough to warrant a kill, but it was enough to make Asgore lose his grip on Link’s barely-active Soul, which the Hylian quickly managed to reclaim.

“I see,” Asgore stammered, visibly weakened from the Hero’s onslaught. They entered the Combat Plane. “It has come to this.” He closed his eyes glumly. Link panted, seeing that his journey was finally almost over. The thought filled him with courage despite the fact that he was now stuck at just twenty measly health points.

“Human… it was nice to meet you,” the king said solemnly. “Goodbye.”

From beneath his cloak, a massive crimson trident emerged, practically oozing heat. That was the weapon of a king, to be sure. In fact, it was mildly reminiscent of the glorified pitchfork that Phantom Ganon had used all the way back in the Forest Temple. The monster king raised the weapon high above his head before slashing it downwards, snapping the Item and Mercy buttons in two. Link wouldn’t be able to use them during the ensuing battle. That meant no healing and no Sparing.

This would be fun.

!0*0!

The Battle Box was on fire.

Because of course it was.

“You betrayed me,” Link spat. “They said you were a good person. But you lied to me. You lied to everyone, didn’t you?”

“It was the only way,” Asgore responded lowly, after a short lapse. “I thought if I was quick enough, your passing would be painless. Peaceful. You would have been remembered as a hero, young one… hero of the monsters.”

That statement gave Link pause. He'd been a hero, certainly; he’d poured his blood and sweat and tears into the worlds of Termina and Hyrule, to save them from a threat that no other could. Or at least for Termina, anyway; in Hyrule, if he hadn’t done anything, everything would be fine. But he was remembered by no one, anywhere. Either he and Zelda reversed time so that nobody but he would recall it, or he left so quickly that his visage was hardly separable from one’s imagination.

But… he didn’t care. All that mattered was that he could still be with them, even if they didn’t remember. At least for the Hylians, anyway.

And Navi.

Especially Navi.

Asgore waved his hands across the Battle Box, leaving trails of vaguely globular flames in its wake. It was nearly identical to Toriel’s attack, from all the way back in the Ruins long ago. The flames then flung themselves at Link’s injured Soul, but the Hylian was able to maneuver around them.

Given that Link couldn’t spare the goat monster, and that he was far too furious to even try talking to him in a civil manner, he drove his blade forwards as powerfully as he could, dealing a whopping two hundred damage. The king, already weakened by the Hylian’s initial panicked onslaught, found himself reduced to about half of his health bar.

His body went dark, leaving only the silhouette of a monster. His left eye flashed blue, then orange, then his right flashed cyan again. Immediately, the king swept his massive trident across the Battle Box, first blue, then orange, then blue again. The next attack was a conflagration of scalding embers cascading in concentric circles from all sides, each with a hole in a particular facet. Then waves of fire fell on him, forcing Link to hide in between each crest and slowly inch downwards.

The following pattern was dominated by more intermittent crimson waves, accompanied by constant alerts at the sides of the Battle Box where enormous blasts of fire were concentrated. The attack was rather easy to dodge until the blast targeted the center. The Hero wasn’t able to get out of the way in time and was bathed by heat, reducing his already taxed health down to just twelve.

And then it began to rain fire.

The fireballs collided with the Battle Box, visibly shaking it as each fireball exploded in a fiery inferno. The ensuing explosions repeatedly pummeled Link, leaving him at a measly four health, until it was finally his turn.

And Link showed no mercy.

With a ferocious battle cry, the youth dashed forwards and drove his blade across the king’s breastplate as powerfully as he could, miraculously reducing Asgore’s health down to one last sliver. The Hylian was breathing heavily. This was it.

“Ah,” the king managed to get out. “So that is how it is.”

He took a deep breath, as if gathering his strength. “I remember the day after my son died. The entire Underground was devoid of hope. The future had once again been taken from us by the humans. In a fit of anger, I declared war. I said that I would destroy any humans that came here. I would use their souls to become godlike… and free us from this terrible prison.”

Please, Link scoffed internally. That’s like Ganondorf using the lives of the Gorons and the Deku Tree to seize the Triforce… Besides, I do need to kill him if I ever want to see Navi again.

“Then, I would destroy humanity, and let monsters rule on the surface, in peace.”

Maybe that was the difference. Intention.

“Soon, the people’s hopes returned,” Asgore continued. “My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions. She left this place, never to be seen again. Truthfully, I do not want power. I do not want to hurt anyone. I just want everyone to have hope…

“Bah, I cannot take this any longer. I want to see my wife. I just want to see my child. Please, young one… this war has gone on long enough. You have the power… take my soul, and leave this cursed place. I beg of you.”

Link swallowed, and for the first time in ages, he felt his blade in his grip. In Termina and most of Hyrule, it had become his default state to hold the sword out; he barely noticed its weight anymore. This was his choice: doom monsters, or doom himself.

That wasn’t the crux of the matter. The true question was: was it morally correct to kill Asgore? On the one hand, the monster king had declared war on humanity, had full intentions to destroy the humans-- and by extent the Hylians-- and had already killed six other humans, or was at least responsible for their demises. On the other hand, he was trying to save his own people, free them from this hellish cage in which they had been stowed away since the Demon War, all those centuries ago.

The Hero squeezed his eyes shut. Regardless of Asgore’s intentions, the fact that he was trying to help his own didn’t change the fact that he had killed others to reach that point. It was the same story as Ganondorf. It was the same story as--

Oh, Goddesses.

It was the same story as Link.

His intentions to save Hyrule, by collecting the Spiritual Stones and opening the Door of Time, had only allowed Ganondorf to seize the Triforce and plunge Hyrule into an epoch of darkness. His intentions didn’t matter. He’d hurt so many people he hadn’t even met, all out of ignorance. That condemned him.

Because if Asgore deserved death, then Link did, too.

No wonder Navi had abandoned him.

With a heart-wrenching sob, the blade clattered out of his hands. It left a gouge in the floor, blade sparkling under the twilight filtering through the Barrier. He sank to his knees, overwhelmed, self-loathing coursing through every fiber of his being. Huge, fat tears oozed out of the corners of his eyes, their size augmented by the sheer amount of time they’d been overdue. Asgore appeared confused. Link ignored him, slowly reaching for the hilt of his blade. The Hylian held his life in the palm of his hands, contemplative, before sheathing it. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. And if he couldn’t end himself, he couldn’t end Asgore, either.

“After everything I have done to hurt you…” the Boss Monster whispered, sounding even more penitent than usual. “You would rather stay down here and suffer than live happily on the surface?” A massive grin appeared on his face, fueled by hope. “Human… no, Link… I promise you, for as long as you remain here, my wife and I will take care of you as best we can. We can sit in the living room, telling stories… eating butterscotch pie… We could be like… like a family…”

Link remained stiff, unyielding. He couldn’t. He squeezed his eyes shut again, genuine tears flooding out of his eyes, before coughing out a “No”.

Whatever Asgore was about to say was cut off by an odd noise. It took Link a half-second to place it, but when he did, his eyes shot open in fear. The ex-Hero scrambled forwards, sprinting as fast as he could towards the kneeling king, before the newly summoned friendliness pellets could annihilate him. The goat monster himself was frozen in shock, too surprised to move. With a bout of startling clarity, Link realized that he wasn’t going to get to Asgore in time; he redoubled his speed, then again, then a third time, desperately clawing for just another instant-- just another meter--

And the pellets slammed into Asgore’s body, the punishment Link had already put him through pushing him over the edge. Without the life force to hold the monster king’s form together, he slowly evaporated into dust, staining the floor. In its wake remained a singular floating white soul: Asgore’s. Before Link could react, one last pellet spawned in the space just eye level with the Hylian and rammed itself downwards, snapping the soul in twain. An instant later, Link’s fingers made contact with the heart of hearts, and the soul was promptly absorbed into his body. Link felt no change, but he knew he had it. He had to. Otherwise, Asgore’s death would have been for naught.

A part of him was chagrined that he just shrugged off said death so quickly after it happened. The rest of him was hardly surprised. With the amount of devastation that Link had borne witness to, it made sense for him to be as hardened as he was.

“You idiot,” Flowey’s mocking voice taunted him. Link whirled around, bladefirst, and locked eyes with the sad*stic plant. “You should have known better. In this world, like in yours, it’s Kill Or Be Killed!”

As it said this, six vibrantly colored hearts of red, yellow, blue, teal, green, and purple began swirling around it. Link allowed himself to let out a small gasp. Weren’t those the other human souls? Of course they were. While he and Asgore were fighting, the demented creature must have stolen them from their containers. Link blinked as he refocused on Flowey’s face, which had melted and deformed into a warped and twisted facsimile of itself. It started cackling, louder and louder, as the Souls merged with its stem.

And everything went dark.

!0*0!

Vaguely, Link processed that he was dead.

But that couldn’t be right. He was still here. Awake. Very much not dead. Hell, he was still at four HP! He shook some of his fatigue out of his system and stood, investigating the all-consuming blackness all around him. He couldn’t see anything. He wandered for who knows how long, blindly stumbling through the dark gloom.

And then, from the corner of his eye, he caught a flicker of light. Wary, the failure of a Hero cautiously approached it, permanently ready to leap into a battle stance and murder that idiot flower. Fortunately, it turned out to be nothing but a Save Point. That was… awfully convenient. He could Reset to the Judgement Corridor and try again! Flowey really was as dumb as he looked, wasn’t he?

Unless this wasn’t a save point at all.

Link looked around. There didn’t seem to be anything else in this void. It was worth a shot.

‘HP Fully Restored,’ it informed him. ‘Save?’

“Reset,” Link demanded.

Then there was red.

‘File Erased,” the voice in the back of his brain informed.

And then there was Flowey’s massive face shining perfectly through the void, so horridly brilliant that it hurt Link’s eyes. It switched to unfiltered static for half an instant before reverting back to that infuriating flowery visage again.

“Howdy!” it greeted, practically salivating at the position Link was stuck in. “It’s me, Flowey. Flowey the Flower! I owe you a huge thanks. You really did a number on that old moron. Without you, I never could have gotten past him.”

It then grew Asgore’s face, the king’s bust plastered perfectly onto where Flowey’s visage had once been.

“But now, with your help… he’s dead. And I’ve got the human souls!”

It disappeared for a second, laughing lowly, before returning. “Boy,” it mused. “I’ve been empty for so long, it feels great to have a soul inside me again. Mmm, I can feel them wriggling and struggling inside of me, harder, faster… Awww, you’re feeling left out, aren’t you? Well, that’s just perfect. After all, I only have six souls. I need one more… before I become God. And then, with my newfound powers… Monsters. Humans. Everyone. I’ll show them all the real meaning of this world! It’ll feel so good!”

Its face rapidly shifted from Toriel’s, to a disgusting facsimile of Link’s-- complete with scars and everything-- to a strange primordial soup of three rotating orifices, before going dark again. It then came back, an odd expression on its facade.

“Oh, and don’t even think about escaping to your old Save. It’s gone forever. But don’t worry; your old friend Flowey has worked out a replacement for you! I’ll Save over your own death, so you can watch me tear you to bloody little pieces… over, and over, and over, and over, and over again!”

Yes. That was saliva. Link wiped a tendril of disgusting slobber off of his hat before drawing his blade, pointing it at Flowey in a silent challenge. Link may have deserved that endless agony, but there was no chance he was going without a fight. He had to at least die with some dignity. For everyone he’d met in the Underground. For everyone in Termina. For Saria, Darunia, Impa, Nabooru, Ruto, Malon, Zelda.

For Navi.

“Oh? Do you really think you can stop me?” Flowey giggled. “Wow… you really are an idiot.”

The six colored Souls snapped into existence in a sizable ring off in the gloom, before going dark again. Link’s vision oozed red, flashing between that and blackness as a massive indecipherable shape finally made itself apparent. Link couldn’t make neither heads nor tails of it; the only color he could see was the stark white of Flowey’s enlarged, psychotically cackling face. Its eyes were bloodshot crimson, its gaping mouth transcending the laws of reality. Then again, of course it was. This was God.

The being snapped into focus, true form finally revealed. It was half plant matter and half machine. Its visage was dominated by a massive television broadcasting Flowey’s face. Below that was an enormous gaping mouth, complete with razor-sharp teeth and bulbous eyes jutting out of its sides. Another pair of ocular orbs were present above it and to the sides of the screen, encased with mechanical tubing that Link didn’t see the purpose of. From each side extended two massive vines that seemed to be constantly growing, taking up as much space in the void as it could. From them, gigantic leafy claws stood perched on the floor, supporting much of this monstrosity. Behind it, more esoteric machinery was visible-- and audible, due to the loud hissing sound of escaping gas. It was honestly arachnid in design, like a Skulltula. Except more disturbing.

Still, Link hardly batted an eye. It had nothing on Majora’s Wrath.

!0*0!

‘File 3 Saved’, that disembodied voice echoed. Link was too busy running for his life to hear it. Who would have thought that its eyes served to fire massive waves of friendliness pellets? Or that its armpits spewed flames in Link’s general direction? Or that the screen had shifted to the demented screams of vaguely human faces?

And then everything stopped.

Pain coursed through the failure of a Hero’s body, all centered around his upper chest. A singular thorny vine extended from the beast’s frontal orifice. Hesitantly, Link looked downwards, and wished he hadn’t. It had pierced his chest, right below his sternum. He recognized with a startling lucidity that he was going to die, right here. There was no point in resisting.

And yet, deep within Link’s heart, something was resonating. It felt like he was standing waist-deep in the cascades of Waterfall; a frigid sensation that refused to let him die. A strange thought occurred to him in that moment, as he recalled a passage linked exactly to this scenario.

“...when humans are on the brink of, as we would call it, Falling Down, their magic is suddenly fully activated as a last-ditch effort to save their lives…”

Magic. That was it. And now Link’s health was full again.

“What,” Flowey growled in monotone.

The swordsman allowed a quick breath to pass through his lips. It was his best imitation of laughter. “You think you’ve won?” he spat, gripping the thorny vine that was currently impaling him and forcibly yanking it out. There was a hole in his tunic, but the flesh beneath it was otherwise unscathed. “All you’ve succeeded in doing… is making me really... f*cking…”

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he could only see out of his right. The raw magical energy pouring off of his body in droves apparently thought that the eye was a good part to emit green fire out of.

“Pissed.”

‘Link activated Flawless Riposte!’ the annoying disembodied voice stated. ‘Link’s ATK doubled! Link’s DEF doubled! Link’s MOVE SPEED increased!’

Small circles of friendliness pellets darted towards the Hylian, but they appeared to move in slow motion, simply dragging on and on. The ex-Hero found them easy to avoid, and he slipped through their cracks like a snake before sinking his metaphorical fangs as deep into Flowey’s abomination of a body as deep as the blade could go. It snarled, dealing a whopping two damage. Lovely.

After narrowly avoiding those armpit flamethrowers, a new sound threw off Link’s rhythm. It sounded like an alarm. He threw an errant gaze upwards, and lo, the television was broadcasting a warning message courtesy of the teal Soul. Whatever that meant, it caused the abomination that Flowey had become to melt away into the gloom, leaving nothing but the static-blaring TV in its wake.

Then the world became nothing but a maelstrom of toy daggers. They rotated and shifted all over the place, forcing Link to dash alongside it. After a few short minutes of this charade, the swordsman spied an Act button conspicuously masquerading as a knife. He deftly maneuvered towards it and mashed it. It called out for help. Nothing seemed to happen for a short period of time.

Then the knives turned into green bandages, which all gravitated towards Link’s fractured soul. As they made contact, the little dim orange-red heart began the long and laborious process of stitching itself back together.

Then Omega Flowey was back. Immediately, the Hylian was beset by a trio of massive mouths with grassy tails, which zigzagged all over the place yet always managed to slam into him despite his increased speed. A Venus flytrap protruded out of one of Flowey’s… arms? Sure, arms, and a tornado of massive locusts roughly the size of Link’s fist began flying towards it. They soon lost interest, however, when Link rammed his sword into the small tendril connecting the flytrap to the flower’s new body, dealing six damage and severing it.

Then there was another alarm, for the crimson Soul. Did he have to do this for every soul Flowey had absorbed?

Link groaned. This would take a while.

!0*0!

It was raining knives, courtesy of the red Soul.

That was good.

Each time a blade impacted the earth, it sent up a shockwave of fractured earth that would also deal significant damage. Oh, what Link wouldn’t give for a shield right now…

An Act button fell from the sky just a few dozen meters ahead of Link. Perfect, it was almost over. A blade narrowly missed entering his shoulder, and instead drew a bloody line along his right arm. At least it wasn’t his sword arm.

Desperately, Link called out for help. He wasn’t used to it, but it seemed to do the trick, as the red knives quickly turned into green flowery shapes and healed him back to roughly full health.

‘File 2 Saved’, the voice declared, as a tide of verdant vines rammed itself at the empty space that Link had occupied just seconds before. They were deceptively prickly, and appeared to have large, gaping mouths. They were easy to dodge the first time around, but to the Hylian’s horror, they bounced at contact with some invisible barrier and careened back towards him again, dealing damage.

Then the world turned upside down.

‘File 2 Loaded’, the voice stated as the exact same tide of verdant vines collided with Link’s body. The attack caught him off-guard, as he was attempting to dodge an attack that hadn’t happened yet and also thrusted him directly into the way of this one. The swordsman regained his bearings as waves of friendliness pellets darted towards him in a cone out of Flowey’s leftmost and rightmost eyes. He could deal with that.

And then he ran out of magic.

His Flawless Riposte shuddered to a halt, just as a warning wail echoed through the vast void. His ATK and DEF spontaneously reverted back to their normal values, as did his speed, but he could feel the slight tinglings that had once been a flood of magical energy coursing through his veins. He’d be able to reactivate it soon enough, once he stored up enough magic. Fortunately, this reversal of fortunes in Flowey’s favor happened to coincide with another Soul revolting, this time the purple one.

Everything went dark except the TV, which now blared with violent static. Then the swordsman was promptly flung into a tight and cramped corridor with what appeared to be massive shoes stamping off of each wall in a rhythmic fashion. There was some level of darkness, so Link couldn’t quite tell what was further down the tunnel. Something collided with his body, but luckily it was just the Act button that triggered the end of this particular encounter.

!0*0!

Link’s body operated on autopilot until the next Soul revolted; it was the green one this time. For this skirmish, his tiny, blood orange soul was shoved between two infinite lines of textbooks spewing negative words towards him. One of them was an Act bar, which reverted the words into something a little nicer. By his count, there were only two Souls left to revolt, but then what? Would Flowey just… die? That would be great.

!0*0!

Another Soul. Purple. It flung fire out of several oversized saucepans and, eventually, an Act button. The flames then transformed into green healing to help soothe Link’s various wounds. The Hylian proceeded to do what he’d been doing for the entire time until the last Soul did its thing, and by the time it was done, the ex-Hero was sitting comfortably at full health. Then for some reason, all six of the other Souls appeared in front of him, spinning around him, spewing more health into him. And then they dispersed. Was he done?

Evidently not, as he was quickly transported back to the abomination Flowey had become. Interestingly, however, something had changed significantly. And according to the disembodied voice, its defense had dropped to nothing. Its attacks also moved significantly slower, which while helpful, wasn’t exactly necessary.

Link wasted no time with mercy. He went straight for the proverbial jugular and immediately began to hack and slash at the offending monstrosity trapping him in this endless battle for survival. For the Underground.

For the chance to ever see Navi again.

The lack of defense truly aided Link, as each stab and cut dealt significantly more damage than it had before; as opposed to maybe ten, each attack lopped off about three hundred points of Flowey’s health. It would all be over soon. Just a few dozen more hits.

The attacks coming Link’s way sped up and diversified, throwing the Hylian off somewhat. Luckily, the other Souls seemed to be aiding him by tossing a few green healing objects from time to time. Convenient.

Amidst the explosions and verdant mouths and man-sized flies, the swordsman dove forwards and rammed the full brunt of his sword straight into the belly of the beast, finishing off its health bar once and for all.

“No… no!” Flowey moaned furiously. “This can’t be happening! You… you!”

Link said nothing, merely wiping a bucket’s worth of sweat off of his brow.

And then he froze, as pain wracked his entire being. A familiar pain. He looked at his chest, and realized with an astonishing clarity that a singular vine was attached to his chest, oozing red at the point of contact. Flowey’s health bar was full, meaning all that work had been undone by a simple reset. And the television was broadcasting quite possibly the most sh*t-eating grin Link had ever seen, and he had grown up with Mido.

“You idiot.”

!0*0!

Flowey’s lower jaw split wide open as a jet of pure white energy blasted forth from it at impossible speeds. On contact with Link’s flesh, the scent of burning meat could be smelt and the sensation of flames could be felt. The youth grit his teeth, not wishing to give the sad*stic flower the satisfaction of hearing him scream. But it felt like if he had let the moon crash into Termina, unfettered by the giants. His body became undone, transforming into particles of dust on the wind.

Then everything was fine. The pain was gone. Link glanced around, disoriented, before a new wave of torment coursed through his body. Where there had once been just one vine, now there were twenty, and he could see the shattering remains of his sickly soul.

Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted.

Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed.

Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. 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And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed. Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted. Then everything was fine. And then he got stabbed.

This cycle repeated itself for Goddesses knew how long, but never did the ex-Hero open his lips save to breathe. Tears were in abundance, of course, but he would not let himself scream. Navi would be embarrassed if he did that.

Then there was inaction, and that was almost more painful than the feeling of death. It left too much anticipation of the inevitable. Vaguely, Link could hear the sound of friendliness bullets forming in a circle around him.

“Hee hee hee…” Flowey’s demented voice emanated. “Did you really think you could beat me? I am the god of this world! And you? You’re hopeless… hopeless and alone… Golly, that’s right! Your worthless friends can’t save you now. Call for help, I dare you. Cry into the darkness! ‘Mommy! Daddy! Somebody help me!’ See what good it does you!”

There was silence.

“Navi,” Link dared to croak, inaudibly, into the gloom. “Please.” Here he was, about to die for presumably the last time. “Please.” She had to come now. She had to. If she didn’t, he--

“But nobody came,” Flowey finished. “Boy, what a shame! Nobody else is gonna get to see you die!”

Good. Navi would never see how much of a failure he was. How undeserving of her he was. Maybe the reason he could never find her really was because he was unworthy.

“What,” the god droned.

Link then processed that he wasn’t dead.

“How’d you-- Well, I’ll just--”

‘Load Failed.’

“Wh-where are my powers?”

The Hylian dared to open his eyes, and saw the six other Souls glowing ferociously bright around the monstrosity’s face, their lights vastly outshining the illumination of Link’s small, shriveled Soul. “The souls…? What are they doing?”

Flowey’s guess was as good as Link’s, as the multicolored hearts began to spin rapidly in a circle. Obviously this did something, as the arachnid flower’s entire body was transformed into a rainbow abomination of cosmic proportions. Link threw an arm in front of his eyes to shield them from this horrid brilliance.

“No! No!” Flowey screamed. “You can’t do that! You’re supposed to obey me! Stop! Stop it! Stop!”

And everything turned white.

At some point, the light finally receded. The Hylian took a moment to blink the spots out of his eyes. He was acutely aware of the wind sighing in his ears, reoccupying the space where Flowey’s massive form had once been. He realized that he was still at the Barrier, with wisps of twilight streaming through, filtering amongst the dust.

And Flowey was there too.

The ex-Hero strolled up slowly and violently uprooted the flower from the earth. Some things didn’t deserve mercy. Like the flower.

Like him.

“I… knew you had it in you…” Flowey croaked through his death throes, and Link let it fall to the earth. Despite just being a normal flower now, he couldn’t resist stomping on it a few times to vent some of his pent-up fury. But it wasn’t enough.

It would never be enough.

!0*0!

The Barrier yielded to him, warping under his touch to allow the swordsman through. He stood near the top of a mountain, overlooking an ocean as the sun set just over the horizon. He could make out a town in the distance, complete with distinctive candlelights in the various windows. But what he really loved was the air. Fresh, real, clean; a far cry from that of the Underground.

Link contemplated heading into the town and resting for a night at an inn or something. Then he reconsidered. That would be suboptimal. He had to find the Ocarina of Time.

He had to find Navi. He needed her, and he knew that finding her was his only motivation to do anything anymore. But first came the Ocarina of Time.

With that in mind, he turned away from the inviting lights and back towards-- presumably-- where he’d first fallen into the Underground.

He didn’t deserve Navi at all.

Is it over? Who knows?

The answer is no.

Review Please!

Chapter 16: Falling Back Down

Chapter Text

Even if we don’t hit five reviews per chapter, we’ve gotten a total of seventy-two. Seventy-two! That’s insane! Thank you all so, so much, but let’s see if we can hit five per chapter anyway!

In other news, I learned that painkillers cause me to become painfully nauseous. Stupid useless wisdom teeth...

RRRP:

Spellflame (FF): Maybe. Maybe not. That’s this chapter’s schtick.

Noob6 (FF): I concur.

Swordmouse (AO3): Thanks!

Supure29 (FF): You know, I’m kind of tempted to just stop updating now, but… no. I’m not doing that. It’s not thematically appropriate. Link most certainly does not regret the decision to off Flowey. And does he really deserve true pacifist? He certainly doesn’t think so, despite not knowing what it is.

5543mj (FF): I’m sorry, did you want me to manually type all of the “Then everything was fine. And then he got blasted/stabbed”? Heck no, that’s ridiculous.

MarkOfThree (FF): I really appreciate that! Thank you!

YouDoYou (FF): What does the Lakeside Laboratory have to do with any of this? I’m confused… but hey, more reviews, I’ll take it.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): I don’t usually surprise readers unless it serves the narrative well. If I subvert expectations, it’s because it creates a more cohesive and fleshed-out narrative, as opposed to subverting expectations for the sake of subverting expectations.

Chapter 15

The path was thin and nearly unintelligible from the thick woods surrounding it. Perfect. This had to be close to where he’d left his things. His pouch. The Ocarina of Time.

Not Navi.

Link dashed forwards, each step a trial. Without his bow, he’d had to turn to a makeshift slingshot in order to hunt, and each kill was its own ordeal. No matter how heavy the stone, nor how fast it flew, it could never kill anything. He hadn’t eaten in at least two days… maybe more. His face was caked with dirt and grime, but as much as he would have liked to wash it off, it helped camouflage him when hunting, which was vital. The only thing in his current possession that could be classified as decent quality was his blade, but even that was starting to become chipped. The Hylian honestly had no idea how long it had been since he’d left the Underground. Weeks? Months? It didn’t matter. Each day blended into the next, every instant a monotonous slog through an uncaring world. He could have reset, but what was the point? He’d just have to fight Flowey again. His stomach was complaining loudly at its lack of sustenance. He didn’t have anything that could sate it. He hadn’t for days. To compound the issue, his mouth was painfully dry from lack of water. He had to find a source of the life-giving liquid soon, but he hadn’t found any in a while.

Thorny bushes scratched at his thighs, but Link didn’t care. All that mattered was the Ocarina of Time. He needed it. Desperately.

The youth burst into the clearing, panting heavily next to a babbling brook. He surveyed the scene in front of him, first relieved, then baffled, then horrified.

It was the same place that he’d made camp on the night he’d fallen into the Underground, to be sure. He recognized the knee-deep grasses on the other side of the river, the clearing he’d made to cook that squirrel, the splash of blood on the mountainside from a Wolfos. And just next to that was the gaping hole in the side of the mountain, leading to the Ruins.

But everything was gone.

Link silently stumbled to the small circle of stones that marked where his fire had once been. He’d left his pouch right there, and it wasn’t there. That pouch had contained everything he owned-- but Link could only bring himself to care about one thing.

The Ocarina.

No wonder Navi had left him.

The swordsman sank to his knees, mute. How had this happened? He had to know. He got up and glanced around, eyes eventually locking onto a frayed piece of rope by the path. It definitely wasn’t his. Judging by its shoddy craftsmanship, it was made by someone who wasn’t necessarily skilled. That ruled out vermin or monsters or other creatures of that ilk, as well as most people who would have just come across this. That left a group who was too busy moving from place to place to pick up after themselves, without the morality to abstain from stealing his things, who would be wandering in these forgotten parts of the world… ah. That was it.

Deserters, or raiders, or some other form of lowlives. They must have gotten here after Link had fallen into the Underground, seen his things, and taken it. No doubt, all of his items were lost to him forevermore, surfing the invisible waves of trades and pawn shops across Hyrule.

He’d lost the Ocarina of Time. He’d lost everything.

And he couldn’t bring himself to care.

!0*0!

There was a strange, alien sound. Link jumped, pure instinct screaming at him to draw his sword and slash at the offending noise. It could be a monster, trying to kill him. He looked about, dazed and disoriented. Astonishingly, not only was there nothing there, but it was somehow evening. It had been before noon when he’d gotten to the clearing!

The child eyed every shadow suspiciously, wary of any motion that might echo from the darkness. He felt a vibration in his pocket, but that was probably just the tingling of the wind.

Wait, that was the phone Alphys had given him. Honestly, he was surprised it was still functional. He took it out, but then reconsidered. He couldn’t talk to them. He betrayed them; by killing Asgore, the Hylian had doomed them to the Underground, stripped all hope from them. Maybe if he didn’t answer, they’d go away?

Evidently not.

“Heya,” Sans’s tinny voice emanated. “Is anyone there…?”

Link said nothing, paralyzed.

“Well, I’ll just leave a message,” he stated. Darn, Link was out of luck. “So, it’s been a while. The queen returned, and is now ruling over the Underground. She’s instituted a new policy: all the humans that fall down here will be treated not as enemies, but as friends. It’s probably for the best, anyway. The human souls the king gathered seem to have disappeared without a trace. So, uh, that plan ain’t happening any time soon. But even though people are heartbroken about the king… and things are looking grim for our freedom… Toriel’s trying her best not to let us give up hope. So hey, if we’re not giving up down here, don’t give up wherever you are, OK? Who knows how long it will take, but we’ll get out of here.”

Link breathed out, numb.

“SANS? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?” Papyrus inquired from across the telephone.

“Uh, nobody.”

“WHAT? NOBODY? CAN I TALK TO THEM TOO?”

“Here, knock yourself out.”

A pause ensued. “WAIT A SECOND… I RECOGNIZE THIS NUMBER! ATTENTION, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM NOW CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! IT’S EVERYTHING I EVER DREAMED OF… EXCEPT, INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, WE JUST WATER PLANTS. SO THAT’S EVER-SO-SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. AND, WE’RE HELPING DR. ALPHYS WITH HER RESEARCH! SHE’S GONNA FIND A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE! UNDYNE IS HELPING HER TOO! THOUGH, TO BE HONEST, HER METHOD OF HELPING SEEMS KIND OF… EXPLOSION-INDUCING. BUT I THINK ALPHYS LIKES HAVING HER AROUND! AND-- UH OH!”

“Hey!” Undyne’s voice interrupted. “What are you up to, punk? Ngahhh!”

“PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE PHONE,” Papyrus groaned.

“Who’s in charge here, you or me?”

“ME…”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right!” she cackled. “I quit my job as the leader of the Royal Guard. Actually, since we won’t be fighting anymore… The Royal Guard totally disbanded. There’s, uh, only one member now.”

“BUT HE’S EXTREMELY GOOD,” Papyrus mentioned.

“Yeah! He is! C’mere!”

“PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE SKELETON.”

Link couldn’t help but snort.

“Anyways,” the ex-royal guardswoman continued, “now I’m working as Alphys’s lab assistant. We’re gonna find a way out of this dump once and for all! Oh, and I’m also a gym teacher at the queen’s new school. Did you know I can bench-press seven children? Awesome, right?”

She paused. “Hey… I’m sorry about what happened with Asgore. You were… just doing what you had to. It’s not your fault he… ah, dammit. I miss the big guy… Come on, Undyne! Snap out of it! Uh, I guess I’ll tell you how Alphys is doing. She’s the same as ever. Maybe a little more reclusive than normal. Seems like something’s really bothering her… but she can get through it! I’m there supporting her! That’s what friends are for, right?”

Another pause. “Hey, wherever you are… I hope it’s better than here.”

It was worse.

“It took a lot of sacrifice for you to get there… so wherever you are… you have to try to be happy, okay? For our sakes! We’ll feel better knowing our trouble was worth it! We’re all with you! Everyone is! Even the queen! Hey! Wait a second! Toriel! Toriel! Do you want to… heh, she says she’s busy.”

“BUT IF SHE KNEW WHO WE WERE TALKING TO…” Papyrus warned.

“We wouldn’t get the phone back for at least a few hours,” Sans finished.

“WE HAVE THE MERCY TO SPARE YOU FROM HER!”

“But call back any time, okay? She’d love to talk!”

“Oh, whoops,” Sans said. “This thing’s almost out of batteries. So, hate to cut this short, but… be seeing you, okay buddy?”

“BYE BYE FOR NOW!”

“See ya, punk!”

There was nothing but static for a few seconds, but the call didn’t end. Odd.

“Okay, kid. It’s just me and Undyne now,” Sans said. “We just wanted to say that, up there, get some professional help. Talk to people. It will help, I promise.”

“Yeah. And keep taking those pills Alphys gave you,” Undyne suggested. “We just want you to be happy, alright? That’s an order. Get past all that ‘past stuff’ and go back to the people that matter. Okay? Okay. Bye, kid.”

The phone went dead. The earth beneath Link’s feet was stained wet for some reason. It was only after a few seconds that the ex-Hero realized that it was tears. He’d ruined all of them, and here they were wishing him the best? The Hylian instantly regretted his decision. He had to set things right. He had to fix this. Forget Navi, he wasn’t worthy of her. Forget the Ocarina of Time. This was something he had to do.

So he Reset.

!0*0!

The corridor was awash with golden light, but Link didn’t care. He was just happy that the Reset had worked. Sans was there, off in the gloom, just out of sight. The Hylian knew what he had to do. He had to.

“So, you finally made it… The end of your journey --”

“Sans.”

He stopped.

“I-I-I… need you to d-do something… for me,” the ex-Hero stuttered. When the skeleton made no indication of continuing, Link drew his blade, ignoring the tensing in Sans’s posture. He then slowly strolled forwards, his sins weighing down each step, before kneeling. The ex-Hero shoved the hilt of the blade into the skeleton’s grip, which instinctively closed around it. Link let out a shuddering breath, before clasping his hands behind his back. “Do it.”

Sans raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Don’t taunt me,” he spat. “Take that sword and kill me. Right here, right now. Use the Souls to break the Barrier already. I know you can. Please.” Link let out a shuddering breath. “Please.”

Silence.

“You’re telling me you left for three months, got the call, came back, and now you want me to kill you? Did you hear nothing?”

Now it was Link’s turn to be confused. “Huh?”

Sans squatted before him, bringing his eyesockets to the same level as the ex-Kokiri’s. “I remember every Reset, kid. Somewhat. And I am not killing you because you think it’s the right choice. Cause it ain’t. So forgeddaboutit. Capiche? Capiche. You can come back to Snowdin with me ‘n Pap ‘n Undyne if you need a place to stay.”

Link remained frozen, flabberghasted at the fact that, for some strange and alien reason, he had been Spared. If anyone didn’t deserve mercy, it was him, right?

Right?

“But… what do I do now?”

“Kid, if I were you, I’d just follow my gut. I mean, mine usually takes me to Grillby’s, and I haven’t been wrong yet. Come on, let’s head back. Papyrus made spaghetti.”

Link groaned silently, but took Sans’s outstretched hand. This was his path now, and he’d stay here for as long as it took to set things right.

Wow.

Review Please!

Chapter 17: Breaking Down

Chapter Text

We’re back in the Underground. Hooray…

RRRP:

5543mj (FF): My point stands. I’m not typing all of that out.

Revamped Persona (FF): Well, hopefully. Then again, how often do things ever go ideally?

Swordmouse (AO3): Hopefully.

Supure29 (FF): As it happens, that’s this chapter’s whole point. So… yeah.

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): I do leave the current whereabouts of the Ocarina a bit vague, but Link’s theory is that it was stolen by some lowlives. And you can’t change fate if fate never happened in the first place…

Nemenlos (FF): Hopefully.

Parkourse (AO3): Yes, indeed. But this isn’t the end!

Chapter 15

As it turned out, spaghetti wasn’t supposed to be nauseating. Maybe it was because Undyne had made it, and Papyrus had had little actual influence on the cooking process. Then again, if that was the case, it was something of a surprise that the cottage hadn’t exploded. That was why the fish monster was there in the first place.

Actually, Link mused, it wasn’t even that good anyway. However, his stint on the Surface had certainly reduced his standards significantly. He’d nearly starved. Best not to say that, though. That could cause more adverse effects on his health than eating Papyrus’s noodles.

“EARTH TO HUMAN?”

“Huh? Wha’?” Link stammered, raising his head. “I zoned out… sorry.”

Undyne rolled her eyes. “Paps was just wondering what you were doing back here. I mean, he insisted on sitting us down and watching all of Mettaton’s ‘content’ regarding you.” She stopped for a second to slurp down some water. “Most of it didn’t even have you in it. I really don’t like that guy all that much.”

“Clickbait,” Sans supplied.

“There’s some things I need to take care of,” the ex-Hero tried to explain. “I just, uh… have no idea how to do that. So I’m staying here to get my bearings and figure out where to go. You guys don’t mind, right?”

She grinned. “Nah.”

“I’VE GOT TO SAY…” Papyrus interjected. “I’M REALLY STARTING TO GROW ON THAT CHANDELIER.”

“You mean shindelier.”

“SANS. PLEASE.”

“No, he’s right. It’s made entirely out of shins. Sans’s request.”

“That’s pretty you.”

“Guilty as charged. Anyways, I’m beat. Better head to my post. My gut’s telling me something interesting is happenin’.”

“WOWIE! MY BROTHER, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY! I’M SO PROUD!”

“Sans, be real. Your gut’s telling you to go to Grillby’s, isn’t it?”

The stout skeleton merely shrugged comically before disappearing from view. There was silence for a second. Undyne barely stifled peals of laughter.

“I AM DRAGGING HIS SORRY SPINE BACK TO THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW.”

“Undyne, how do you deal with them on a daily basis? I… really need to know.”

The royal guardswoman merely opted to smirk. “You don’t find it hilarious?”

“The word I’d use is ‘irritating’, really.”

Papyrus proceeded to stomp out of the room, chagrined at his sibling’s disappearance.

“Alright, cool, he’s gone,” Sans stated, stepping out of his own room. Blasted shortcuts. “Now. Kid. Spill.”

His eyes went midnight black as Link spontaneously gained fifty pounds, plummeting out of his seat and onto the floor by Undyne’s feet. With a flick of the skeleton’s wrist, he slid along the carpet at reasonable speeds until he was stuck to the wall, and then he proceeded to be dragged up said wall, unable to extricate himself from this particular predicament.

“Tell us everything.”

The Hylian froze. “No, I-- I--”

“You’re going to stay there until you do. And we’re very patient.”

“You might be,” Undyne growled, but her features softened. “We just want to know… how we can help you with--- whatever your problem is. You’ve been as stiff as a stone this whole time, and we want to know why. We won’t tell anyone.”

“You can’t. You can’t. You can’t,” he repeated. “You-- I-- please don’t… no no no no no-- I don’t-- I’m not-- I’m not--”

“Not what?

“I don’t deserve any of this!” he finally burst, squeezing his eyes shut, every breath a pathetic gasp. “Not after everything I’ve done!”

“And what did you do?”

“Don’t,” the child spat. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know. You’ve both Checked me. I’m a mass murderer. I’m no better than the humans that sealed you down here. I’m no better than G--”

He cut himself off before he could say anything more, but the two monsters interrogating him were having none of it. “Who.”

Maybe if they knew, they would understand why he was beyond saving. Maybe if they knew, they would understand why they were better off killing him, and using his Soul to shatter the Barrier. Maybe if they knew, they would understand why he was the way he was. Maybe if they knew, they would understand that he would be happy if they killed him. Maybe if they knew, they would understand why he didn’t want anyone to know. Maybe if they knew, they would understand why he couldn’t dare let anyone get close to him.

It all came back to Navi, didn’t it?

Of course it did. If Navi-- loving, caring, knowledgeable Navi-- thought that he was worthless enough to throw to the wayside like a used handkerchief, then how could he be of use to anyone? He couldn’t.

“W-where I grew up, everyone h-h-had a guardian fairy,” he started, barely stifling his sobs. “I… didn’t. Until I f-finally got one. Her name was Na-- Na-- Navi.”

Even just saying her name out loud gave him pause, as he was forced to recollect himself. He had to stay brave for this. This was the most courageous thing he had ever done. “Soon after that, I was s-s-summoned to meet… well, the closest thing I had to a father. Then he d-died. He was cursed by a-- a bad man, a man from the desert who had nothing in his heart but greed. His name was Ganond-dorf. Father told me to meet the princess of the land, Zelda, and she sent me and…” The swordsman sniffled. “Navi... to collect three stones that would open the way to the Triforce, an artifact left over by the goddesses that Ganondorf was after. I got them and opened the place where the T-triforce was… but because I was so young, I... got locked in there for seven years. Ganondorf took the Triforce and used it to take over the world. When I finally got out, I was seventeen, but with the mind of someone just ten. I was told that it was my responsibility to kill Ganondorf, because I w-was the one who f-f-f-f*cked it up so ba-badly in the first place. So I… I did. I purged the land of his evil before sealing him away… And then… Zelda sent me backwards in time to relive my lost childhood… but that never happened. I-I’d grown up by then, and now I was stuck in a body that wasn’t like what my mind was. And then… N-navi… just left. Without a word. Because I f*cked up so much that I didn’t deserve her anymore. I looked. I looked for her for a long time. I fell into another place I had to save, from a demon in a mask called Majora and a falling moon. And all the while… I had to fight; I had to kill. So many monsters. Ganondorf. Majora… can’t you see that I don’t deserve your care? I should have let the flower kill me back in the Ruins, for all the good it would do… I should have let Asgore kill me… oh…”

His voice gave out, and he sank to the floor, bawling his eyes out. He barely processed arms wrapping around him, cocooning him in comforting warmth. “Did you ever enjoy it?”

“Huh?”

“Any of it. Was it out of a sense of pleasure or of duty?”

“I guess… both?” Link croaked. “The people I met were nice. They supported me… but none of them remember. I never… I hated it so much… but that doesn’t cha--”

“Then you deserve to live as much as any of us!” Undyne hollered enthusiastically. “Who cares if some people didn’t see how cool you are? You did what was right and that’s damn fantastic! Hell, we didn’t even know you and we love you!”

“How could you say that!” the ex-Hero screamed. “How dare you! Navi was all that I had! She was the only one… she was the only one who…”

“Kid,” Sans whispered softly. “What Undyne is trying to say is that maybe it wasn’t that you didn’t deserve Navi. If she left you after all that you two went through, I’m half inclined to say that she didn’t deserve you. Tibia honest, you’re a good person... no matter what anyone else thinks. Got it?”

He sat silent for a long time. He’d measured himself against Navi’s supposed judgement for so long. He’d spent so much time searching for her. She’d even been what indirectly drove him to the Underground in the first place. How could he just… move on from that? He couldn’t. This was one obstacle that the Hero of Time simply couldn’t see himself overcoming.

“We’re not saying it’s gonna be easy, punk,” Undyne blurted, as if reading his mind. “But as long as you hold your head high and keep fighting for yourself, every day, things will get better. And if you ever need someone, no questions asked… well, you’ve got us.”

“That’s a whole four shoulderblades for you to lean on,” Sans commented, winking.

The swordsman choked up, overcome with emotion. Never before had anyone shown this much compassion towards him, even among those he hadn’t technically wronged. “How-- how can I--”

“Don’t bother, bucko,” the skeleton interrupted. “Consider this a charge-free service. No capacitors or resistors here. Just unfiltered help. You’ve got the number. Anyways, Paps should be back any second no--”

“SANS, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP PRANKING ME ACROSS TIME AND SPACE!” Papyrus declared as he burst into the room. “I SWEAR I’LL--” The Stalfos paused as he surveyed the strange scene that had unfolded while he was away. “ARE YOU… PLAYING ‘NOOGIE THE HUMAN’? I THINK I’LL… JUST GO TO BED NOW.”

The monster then proceeded to dash up the stairs into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. There was silence for a few seconds.

“I… don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything at all.”

!0*0!

The room was awash in golden light, courtesy of the stained glass windows surrounding the small area Link found himself in. It looked… taller than he remembered. This was Ganondorf’s throne room, right? It had to be; there was an organ playing music and everything. Then he discovered why everything looked taller. By some strange machination, he was locked in his youthful form, and a distressed inventory check revealed that he wasn’t even armed to deal with the stout form tapping away at the organ’s keys. It had Ganondorf’s cape and physique, at least from this side. He had to infer that it was Sans based on his height, because he was wearing Majora’s Mask on the back of his head. Those wide, jaundiced eyes bored into Link’s very being, and he became overwhelmed with a sense of haunting claustrophobia, each breath a little shallower than the last.

Sans stopped playing, and the chamber was consumed by silence. He slowly stood, bony hands in his pockets.

“Did you think we could forgive?” he spat. “Did you honestly think you were worth anything? That’s real humerus.”

Link balked as Sans spontaneously grew about five heads in height before abruptly pivoting a hundred and eighty degrees, face to face with Link. He was suddenly wearing a dress not unlike what Toriel had worn back in the Ruins, but still maintaining Gaondorf’s cape. Near the bottom of the ex-Hero’s vision, characters began to slam into focus: SANSONDORF FEEMURR. He vaguely realized that he was dreaming, but he couldn’t process it in the moment. He was too busy hyperventilating.

Omega Flowey’s lower mouth then apparated into existence in the air above, already charging a rainbow blast of pure magical energy. Sansriel was raising his left hand, and then he brought it down in a wordless command to fire.

The Hylian’s vision was consumed with light as he was sent tumbling out of the room through one of the stained-glass windows, into the void beyond. He couldn’t see anything, and he hastily tried to stop himself from spinning in space as he blinked the lingering lights out of his eyes. After Goddesses knew how long sailing through the abyss, the swordsman slammed into a rustic-looking chair that he knew he’d seen somewhere before. He appeared to be in some sort of rather quaint-looking dining room.Then he knew that he had been here before; it was Lon Lon Ranch, an observation that was cemented by Malon sitting across from him. But it was at the same time not Malon. She was too pale, too stiff in her motions. There was also a window behind her that he didn’t remember being there, but all that was outside was crackling flames. Was the Ranch on fire? Why was Malon just sitting there, spoon in hand?

She said something indecipherable, didn’t move for a few seconds, and then immediately faceplanted into the bowl in front of her. Link glanced down in front of him, where an identical bowl was placed. It was full of spaghetti. He squinted at it for a few seconds, convinced that some tentacle of it had waved at him. He picked up a nearby fork and stabbed it exactly once. A blood-colored broth oozed out of the singular speared noodle. A white noodle. A writhing noodle.

Wait, that was a maggot.

Repulsed and horrified, he threw the fork into the bowl and looked up at Malon just as she picked herself up. Her face was covered in maggots; twitching, crawling maggots that-- by Farore, were they burrowing into her skin? The fringes of red around the entry points confirmed this. She opened her mouth, only for more maggots to spew out like a waterfall. Three words came forth. “There… is… nothing…”

She then fell backwards in her seat, out of sight, as the roaring of the flames outside attacked Link’s ears. He looked down just in time to see the maggots on his plate fling themselves at his skin, latching on, biting, gnawing, crawling to his face, and stuffing themselves into each and every opening they could find. He staunchly kept his mouth closed, but every sensation disappeared when they assailed his eyes. He saw nothing. Cautiously, he felt at his face for any signs of the vermin; by some miracle, every trace of them had gone.

He wasn’t aware of how long he spent in that void, but he knew it was over when a faint blue light made itself visible. It was Navi. How couldn’t it be? Had he finally found her? He reached out to her, but he couldn’t see his hands. When he looked down, he only saw bloody stumps attached to his shoulders. He tried to run to her, but he couldn’t move. There were only bloody stumps in place of his legs.

Navi floated over to him and perched herself on his shoulder. “You’re an idiot, Link.”

Link couldn’t say anything. His lips were sealed painfully shut. Stitched together like a woolen doll.

“Why are you still looking for me?”

She was all that he had.

“You need to stop.”

He couldn’t.

“You’re only hurting people, Link. You’re hurting the people around you. You’re hurting your friends. You’re hurting yourself.”

He’d do all that and more to have her again.

“What was the point of saving Hyrule if you’re not going to be there to enjoy it?”

It was the right thing to do. He cared too much about the people there to just sit by and let them suffer. Shouldn’t she know this?

“So why are you hurting them? They’re worried about you, Link. They care about you. And you’re hurting them by searching for me. So stop.”

He would have started to cry, but he physically couldn’t.

“Link, you’re acting like a child.”

He wasn’t a child. Not after everything he’d been through.

“Yes, you are. You’re only thinking about your point of view and not anyone else’s. That’s the definition of being a child.”

Couldn’t she see that he still needed her?

“You don’t need me anymore, Link. It’s time for you to be your own person. You can’t shackle yourself to me. Please, Link. Don’t look for me. I’m already here.”

She kissed him, right where his heart should have been. He couldn’t feel it beating. His mind was the only part of him that was still working.

“I love you, Link. And that’s why I went away.”

She disappeared from view as his senses exploded. He could feel the frigid draft of Snowdin air on his exposed legs, hear the light snoring of Undyne on the couch just a stone’s throw away, smell the dizzying scents of everything around him, taste the slightest notes of spices and snow on the air, and see the dazzling sight that was Sans and Papyrus’s kitchen. His mind was numb with sensory overload, and the Hylian basked in it for some time. Had he really deadened himself to the world so much since Navi left? Because he wasn’t experiencing anything new… he’d only just realized it was already there.

“That’s why you went away…” he whispered, watching his breath transform into puffs of steam as it left his mouth. A grin began to surface before immediately falling away as he processed the implications. “I have so many apologies to make…”

But however fleeting it was, it was the first time in years he’d felt genuine happiness. And oh, it was so succulent and sweet. Was this what people felt like normally? And just like that, Link realized that the gaping hole in Navi’s shape, that had been gnawing at him for so much time, was already full of the people around him. It felt magnificent.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he stood, processing the implications of his newfound revelation. He needed space to think, space to reflect on what he’d done to track down Navi. The Hero of Time silently tiptoed past Undyne’s slumbering form and outside, looking to find a secluded place where he could administer his self-care alone.

!0*0!

“Morning, punk,” the fish monster groaned as she slowly awakened. Link merely waved back amiably, shivering slightly at the morning Snowdin air. “Sleep well?”

“Surprisingly,” he answered, drunk on his own newfound contentment. “I have to figure out what to do now. I’m thinking I’ll weed out any last hidden corners of the Underground for whatever I have to do. Hopefully I’ll find it. It’ll take the whole day, though.”

“Say, while you’re exploring, mind doing me a favor?” she commented casually. “And also, I heard you get up in the middle of the night and walk outside. What were you doing?”

“Uh…” Link replied intelligently, trying to come up with a suitable answer. “I had to, ah… I just needed some space to think about stuff. I didn’t want to disturb you or Sans or Papyrus, so I just went outside. It’s freezing out there. And I’d be happy to run an errand for you. What do you need?”

She seemed pacified. “Alright, then. Anyways, you have to deliver something for me. Uh, please? This was Papyrus’s idea… It’s this letter… to Doctor Alphys.”

She proffered a folded envelope sealed with pink wax. “Alright,” Link assented.

“I would do it myself, but… well, it’s kind of personal, but... Hotland sucks!” she revealed, successfully faking the Hylian out. He thought she was about to confess feelings for the undersized Lizalfos. “I don’t wanna have to go over there! So kindly bring it to her, alright? Oh, and if you read it… I’ll kill you. Thanks so much! You’re the best!”

“I guess I’ll go deliver it now,” Link sighed, moving towards the door. He paused inside of it, before turning back to the royal guardswoman. “And, Undyne?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks. For… y’know. Last night. Tell Sans that too.”

She shot him a thumbs-up as he closed the door behind him.

!0*0!

Nothing in Waterfall or the rest of Snowdin managed to catch his eye. He’d combed these areas on his first time, he couldn’t possibly have missed it now. As he approached Alphys’s laboratory, the Hero made sure that he still had Undyne’s letter. He did. Alas, the door to the lab itself didn’t seem to have an obvious place to put the mail, so he just slid the note under the door and rapped violently on the door. A few seconds later, he could hear the doctor’s scaly feet scuttle towards the closed door, before her voice pierced the barrier.

“O-oh no, is that another letter?” she asked nervously. “I d-don’t want to open it, can’t I just slide it back out?”

She had better not.

“N-no… I can’t keep doing this. I’ll read this one.”

She’d been getting other letters? From who? And for that matter, why was she so afraid of them? It was probably her shyness getting the best of her, maybe. Link could empathize with that. Well, as much as he could empathize with a deceiver.

“Um…” Alphys stammered. “It’s shut k-kinda strongly, isn’t it?”

Why was he still here? He could hear the unfurling of the paper, followed by silence. He should be re-examining Hotland for some clue, something, anything. Then again, he’d probably be thwarted by the dog again.

Stupid dog.

There was suddenly a loud whirring noise, as the door split open. Alphys wasn’t meeting his eyes. She looked more… disheveled than usual.

“Look, if this is some kind of sick joke, it’s…” she started, before realizing just who was standing before her. “Ohmygod? Did you write this letter? It wasn’t signed, so, I had no idea who could have… oh my god, oh no… That’s adorable. And I had no idea you could, um, write that way!”

Link proceeded to inelegantly choke on his own surprise. “I-- wait-- you have the-- that’s not… hang on a minute… I--”

She proceeded to disregard everything the Hylian was trying to say. “It’s surprising, too… after all the gross stuff I did… I don’t really deserve to be forgiven. Much less, um… this?”

She didn’t. But the time Link had spent in the Underground proved to him that anyone could get absolution. He did, after all.

“And so passionately, too,” she mused. “You know what? I’ll do it! It’s the least I can do to make it up to you!”

A bolt of fear ran through the swordsman’s veins.

“Y-yeah! Let’s go on a date!”

Before Link could say anything, she proceeded to drag him inside the lab by the scruff of his collar before casually lobbing him into a chair. She then bolted into a back room, where she stayed for a few minutes. He would have left, but some strange force kept him in place. The room was dark, unnaturally so. It almost seemed to be closing in on Link, the light from a nearby computer monitor the only thing keeping it at bay. The ex-Kokiri’s breath shortened, every instinct screaming at him to run, but that strange force prevented his every move. There was something else in the area with him. Something sinister. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose, held it for a few seconds, and then calmly breathed out through his mouth. Everything would be just fine. He continued to breathe like this until the impulse to get out of there subsided.

“Um, sorry! I’m still getting dressed!” Alphys called, and the shadows seemed to lessen just a touch. She then reappeared in a polka-dot dress a minute later. “H-how do I look? My friend helped me pick out this dress. She’s got a great sense of… anyway, let’s do this thing!”

“Please tell me this friend is U--”

“H-h-hey, w-w-w-wait!” she interrupted. “W-we still can’t st-start the date yet! Um, I’ve got to give you items to raise your affection statistic, first! That’ll increase the chance of a successful outcome to the date!”

“I don’t--”

“D-don’t worry! I’m prepared! I’ve been stockpiling gifts in anticipation for something like this! First, I’ve got… some metal armor polish!” She scanned Link’s body before reconsidering, stowing it back in a pocket. “Actually, maybe you can’t use that… But! I also brought some waterproof cream for your scales! Oh wait… uh, well, how about this magical spear repair kit, that I… uh… Hey! Let’s forget about the items! Just start the date!”

At this point, the Lizalfos was blushing furiously, her complexion bearing more resemblance to Ganondorf's cape than anything else. There was a long and tedious pause for some time, long enough for Alphys’s color to revert to its normal yellow. “Uh… do you… like… anime?”

“Never seen it,” Link answered. “But--”

“I could show you sometime!” she interjected, allowing the silence to stretch on. “Hey! Let’s… go somewhere! But where’s a good place to go on a date… hm… I’ve got it! Let’s go to the garbage dump!”

“Excuse me?”

Link apparently had no say in the matter, as Alphys proceeded to yank him all the way into Waterfall by his hat. “Here we are!” she declared a few minutes later. Link was too busy massaging his smarting scalp to answer meaningfully. “This is where Undyne and I come all the time… we find all sorts of great stuff here. Heh, she’s really… uh…”

“Then why--”

“Oh no! That’s her over there! I c-can’t let her see me on a date with you!”

“But--”

“Oh no, here she comes!” Alphys squealed before diving headfirst into a nearby garbage can.

Undyne promptly strode into view, dressed in some kind of fancy jacket with a popped collar. “Hey! There you are!” she called. “I, uh, realized that if you deliver that thing… it might be a bad idea. So I’m gonna do it! Give it to me!”

“Slight issue: I already gave it to her,” Link confessed. “Funny story, actually… it wasn’t signed, so… she thought… I was the one who sent it… and then I got dragged on a date… why did you do this to me…”

The fish monster burst into raucous laughter for at least five minutes. “Well then, all the more reason! Have you seen her?”

“Yeah, she’s aro--”

“You have? Thanks. I’ll keep looking.”

She then scampered further into the dump. What was with everyone not giving Link a chance to say anything?

Alphys clambered out of the garbage can a second later. “W-well… I guess it’s obvious, huh? I-- I really like her. I mean, more than I like other people! I’m sorry, I-I just figured, you know… it’d be fun to go on, like, a cute kind of… pretend date with you? To make you feel bett--”

“Will you let me speak?” Link burst exasperatedly. “I didn’t write the letter! Undyne did!”

She blinked, mouth half-open. “Oh. My. God. I really n-need the practice, don’t I? Undyne’s the one I… really wanted to go on a date with. I-I thought she w-was way out of my league… but… sh-she’s just so confident, and strong, and funny, and… and I’m just a nobody. A fraud. I’m the royal scientist, but… all I’ve ever done is hurt people. I’ve told her so many lies, she thinks I’m… a lot cooler than I actually am. If she gets close to me, she’ll… find out the truth about me.”

“You’re not like that,” Link reminded, thinking of Navi. He used to think she was all the things Alphys thought Undyne was, and that he was naught but grime on her soles. But now… well, things were different. She loved him, and that was why she went away. “You should tell her everything. Either she accepts you, or she proves that she’s not the one for you.”

“But if I do that, she’ll hate me,” Alphys argued. “Isn’t it better this way? To live a lie where both people are happy, or a truth where neither of us are? They say to ‘be yourself’, but I don’t really like who ‘myself’ is. S-so I change myself to make others like me… eheheheheheh…”

She seemed to have a change of heart. “No. You’re right. Every day, I’m scared… of what’ll happen when people learn the truth on their own. They’ll all get hurt because of me… but how can I tell Undyne the tr-truth? I d-don’t have the confidence… I’m going to mess it up! How can I practice?”

Link looked around. “I don’t know…”

“Aha! That blank expression… it just gave me the greatest idea! Let’s do a roleplay!” Alphys announced.

“What’s a ‘roleplay’?” the Hylian inquired, suddenly shy.

“Just… pretend to b-be Undyne, okay?” She cleared her throat. “H-hi Undyne… How are you doing today?”

He was pretending to be Undyne… drat, there wasn’t anything to pummel into pieces. “I’m fine,” he decided.

“Ha! Ha! That’s great!” Alphys replied before pausing. “Uh, so I’d like to, um, talk to you about something…”

“What’s up?”

“Well, um, you see… I… I… I… I h-haven’t exactly been truthful w-w-with you… Y-you see, I… I… Oh, forget it! Undyne!” she cried. “I… I want to tell you how I feel! Y-you’re so brave, a-and strong, and nice… You always listen to me when I t-talk about n-n-nerdy stuff… You always d-d-do your best t-to make me f-feel special… L-like telling me th-that you’ll beat up anyone that g-gets in my way… Undyne! I can’t take this any longer! I’m madly in love with you! Hold me, Undyne! Hold me!”

Oh Farore, this had gone too far. This observation was compounded when Undyne herself burst onto the scene, a putrid banana peel still stuck in her hair. “What did you just say?”

“U… Undyne!” Alphys stammered, backing away slowly. “I… was… just…”

“On a date with the human, because you misinterpreted my letter,” she finished. “That being said, your outfit is really cute… how’s the date coming along?”

“Great! No, wait, horrible! Er, I mean, good, but actually we were only romantically roleplaying as you!”

Link blinked. That was her way of getting out of the situation?

“What!”

“I mean… I mean… Undyne, I… I’ve been lying to you!” she yelled, finally breaking out of her shell.

“About what?”

“About, well… everything. I told you that seaweed was scientifically important, but really I just use it to make ice cream! And those human history books I keep reading are just dorky comic books and the history movies are just anime and the time I told you I was busy with work on the phone I was just eating frozen yogurt in my pajamas and that time I--”

“Alphys.” the royal guardswoman stated, cutting her off.

“I… I just wanted to impress you! I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn’t just some… nerdy loser.”

“Alphys…” Undyne stated, soothingly rubbing the top of her love interest’s head.

“Undyne, I… really think you’re neat, okay…”

“Shhhh…” the fish monster whispered, sinking to her knees and hugging her. “Shhhhhhhh…”

Then she proceeded to pick Alphys up and lob her through a dilapidated basketball hoop. The royal scientist’s limp body fluttered into an empty trashbin.

“Alphys! I think you’re neat, too, I guess. But you’ve gotta realize that most of what you said doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t care if you’re watching kid cartoons or reading history books. To me, all of that stuff is just nerdy crap! What I like about you is that you’re passionate! You’re analytical! It doesn’t matter what it is; you care about it! One hundred percent! At maximum power! So, you don’t have to lie to me!” she ranted. “I don’t want you to have to lie to anyone anymore. Alphys, I want to help you become happy with who you are! And I know just the training you need for that!”

“U-undyne… you’re gonna train me?” Alphys whispered, crawling out of the trash can.

“Pfft, me? Nah.”

From a nearby pile of trash, Papyrus’s bony hands clawed at the surface to extricate the jolly skeleton. Link had a heart attack, visions of the Dead Hand swarming his mind. He managed to calm himself down just enough to comprehend what was happening now.

“I’m just going to get Papyrus to do it.”

“GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN’!” the aforementioned Stalfos roared enthusiastically. “IT’S TIME TO JOG 100 LAPS, HOOTING ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE!”

“Ready? I’m about to start the timer!”

“U-Undyne, I’ll do my best!”

And they were off, darting through the junkyard. Only Undyne and Link remained.

“Ohmygod! She was kidding, right? Those cartoons, those comics, those are still real, right? Anime is real, right?”

It took Link a second to process that he was being addressed. “Uh, um, I, ah, er, I mean, well… I don’t… think so? Maybe? If it was before the Demon War, then maybe, but… surely I’d have seen something about it on the Surface if it were true. I’ve got to go with no.”

“No… no! I can feel my heart breaking into pieces!” she lamented, sinking to her knees dramatically for a minute or so before raising herself again. “No, I can survive this… I have to be strong. For Alphys. Thanks, punk, for telling me the truth. I’ll try my best to live in this world… well, see you around!”

She then dashed to catch up with Alphys and Papyrus, leaving Link alone at the base of the Waterfall. But he’d seen something behind Alphys when he gave her the letter. The Hylian suddenly got the sinking feeling that he needed to investigate the lab more than he already had. Off to Hotlands again, he supposed.

Welp, onwards to the True Lab.

Review Please!

Chapter 18: Helping Down

Chapter Text

So, here you go.

RRRP:

RealEdgeQuarter (FF): Neither did I.

James Birdsong (FF): Yes.

MarkOfThree (FF): True Lab is actually pretty short. So… have at you.

Swordmouse (AO3): I agree!

DaveTheAssassin (AO3): It’s more of a dreamscape than anything else, so ‘hallucination’ is probably the closest. It’s really supposed to be Link’s inner psyche juxtaposed by Link’s inner psyche-- the one that needs Navi and the one that doesn’t. It’s kind of meant to be left ambiguous, so that the reader can come to their own conclusions. Mostly it’s just an excuse for me to go ham with metaphors in a way that doesn’t compromise the story.

Chapter 17

The laboratory was empty. Link knew it wasn’t because Alphys was still running, because that had been a few hours ago. The lights were on; she’d had to have come back at some point. What Link had once thought was a bathroom was gaping open, to reveal an unadorned room in its place. Just outside of the gaping entryway sat a note, scrawled in handwriting that the Hero could only assume to be Alphys’s. Gingerly, he picked it up.

“Hey,” he read. “Thanks for your help back there. You guys… your support really means a lot to me. But as difficult as it is to say this, you guys alone can’t magically make my problems go away. I want to be a better person. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. And for that to happen, I have to be able to face my own mistakes.”

He nodded to himself as he continued. “I’m going to start doing that now. I want to be clear: this isn’t anyone else’s problem but mine. But if you don’t ever hear from me again… if you want to know ‘the truth’, enter the door to the north of this note. You all at least deserve to know what I did.”

This was the one place he hadn’t gone to yet. This must contain the secret to freeing the monsters, somehow. It was in that room, which on closer inspection was revealed to be an elevator. Mustering his courage, Link stepped into the room, before realizing that he had no idea how to operate it. Curse this infernally advanced monster technology… how did he operate this? Maybe… oh, of course. It was the wall of buttons on the wall of the elevator. There were only two buttons: one for this floor and another that was unmarked. Curious, Link pressed the unlabeled button, and the elevator doors closed before the whole apparatus moved downwards. He should have probably been more confused by this, but he’d operated a less technological version of this device in the Forest Temple, of all places.

After what felt like an eternity, they reopened, revealing a dank, slate blue environment. This was the true laboratory. This was where all the real science happened. The Hero of Time slinked out of the elevator as it closed behind him. There was something very… wrong with this place. The shadows clung to his shadows, and the staticky sounds in the distance whispered his name. As he strolled by, he read the entries etched into the screens that littered the walls, presumably written by Doctor Alphys. Apparently, she was toying with the force of ‘Determination’, which allowed human souls to persist after death. She’d injected it into monsters who were about to die, but they suddenly didn’t…

Before Link left this particular area, something drew his attention to the line of sinks lining the walls. Upon further inspection, he noticed that there was a key stuck in one of the faucets. He tried to reach it, but his childish fingers simply couldn’t reach it. He turned on the sink, and a pool of white goop oozed forth, filling the basin. It then grew a face.

Link jumped, less startled then he probably should have been. He wasn’t even sure what to call these… things… that were now trying to murder him. They looked like a bunch of severed heads fused together with a spiral tail. Even the dialogue box didn’t know what to make of it; it just put a blank in the place of their names. Strangely enough, the fight was interrupted by Link’s cell phone going off. Tense, he answered the call. All it said was “Come join the fun…”

It must have been those… things… hijacking his telephone. Link didn’t have much of an ability to think about this because he was currently being assailed by several small balls that morphed into disturbingly face-shaped explosions.

“I-I-I think I’m g-good,” the Hylian stammered, trying to reject the Memoryhead’s advances. Huh. The dialog box suddenly knew what they were called. Fortunately, with the knowledge of their names came a reluctance to fight them and they slinked off into the darkness. The Hylian pocketed the red key left in their wake and backtracked to the so-called Power Room, but there was no place to slot it. The ex-Kokiri sighed, returned to the area where he’d found the red key, and entered a small chamber, where there was a red-key sized slot. It fit perfectly. He then backtracked back the other way, where the eastmost entrance was now unlocked.

A dank hallway led Link to a musty chamber full of cushy-looking beds. These must have been where those aberrant forms… slept. Goddesses, that was… oddly nauseating.

The Hylian traveled north and took a left, reading the signs along the way. Predictably, everything went wrong. The monsters had probably shapeshifted into those… creatures. Poor things.

The next room was mostly empty save a massive… apparatus hooked up to the wall by a dizzying maze of tubing and technological machinery. It was eerily reminiscent of Flowey’s lower mouth, now that he really looked at it. There was a small walkway in front of the thing, which was blocked by a Save Point. He didn’t really need it, but he might as well use it.

!0*0!

Then it grew a face.

The Hero stumbled backwards in surprise as the Save Point morphed into a ghostly silhouette, framed by the smoke and mist pouring out of a nearby doorway. He vaguely wondered if he’d ever be free of his battle instincts as the undead monster dragged him into the Combat Plane. It reeked of lemons On closer inspection, it almost looked like a Shyren with Aaron arms and a head made of several crushed Moldsmals. Were these things several monsters bound together? How did that explain the Memoryheads?

His Act options were several things that Link didn’t care enough to look at. He opted to Flex, figuring he could appeal to whatever part of this abomination that was still an Aaron. The swordsman could see the arm visibly shake, but he was not permitted reprieve. The Battle Box grew nine serrated teeth before it bore down on his Soul, crushing it between its sharp edges. Link merely tanked the blow. He had a whopping five hundred and forty eight HP, he couldn’t care less. Wait, when did he get that? Would it stay there? He hoped so.

He tried humming Epona’s Song. It seemed like the right thing to do. Evidently, the being known as Lemon Bread agreed, as it promptly slunk away into the void of the laboratory. Link cleverly opted not to follow. Instead, he headed north into a small chamber with a TV, which he ignored. On his way out, he glanced at a scrawled note of disheveled text on the floor. He could only make out the words ‘under’ and ‘sheets’. Oh well.

The only place to go was backwards, until he dealt with the fog. Returning to the hallway revealed a northwards auxiliary hall, which ended in what appeared to be a bath. There was something oddly cylindrical waving about behind a thin curtain, ever faster as Link approached. Would it be considered mercy to kill these monsters? They had to be in pain, what with being fused together and all that. And they were supposed to be dead, before that ‘Determination’ juice resurrected them. He drew his blade, slowly approached the curtain, and yanked it open before realizing that there was nothing there. His sword wouldn’t help at all during this particular dungeon. Was this a dungeon? Definitely.

He took the key languishing in the tub before returning to the end of the hallway. He was greeted by a room full of fans. Would this clear the fog at the other end of the hallway? Evidently yes.

This also caused the flecks of paper suspended in air to fall to the ground. The shards coalesced into a single form, which then exploded outwards into a mammalian multi-legged… creature. It slowly approached Link, who realized that he was stuck at the end of the corridor with no route of egress. The Amalgamate proceeded to drag him into the Combat Plane. Now that he could get a good look at it, the ex-Kokiri noticed that the negative space between its six legs were nearly identical to the silhouettes of five dogs. Or cats. One of the two. The Act menu appeared to confirm this, as the options mirrored what Link had to go through back in Snowdin, with the dog brigade. He correctly assumed that a similar strategy would apply here as it did there. With his in mind, he beckoned the amalgamate to come closer to him. It enthusiastically bounded forwards, oozing some sort of liquid from its singular facial orifice. Meanwhile in the Battle Box, a single white dog with no face assailed Link’s orange soul with what appeared to be thumbtack projectiles.

What to do now… He didn’t have anything worthy of a fetch quest on his person at the moment… he could use his sword. Yes, that would do. Maybe he could distract the beast enough for it to let him go? He slowly and carefully withdrew his blade, scabbard and all, before lobbing it as far as he could down the hallway. The Amalgamate immediately scampered off after it, moving at a speed that belied its size. Wasting no time, Link tried to dash out of the cramped hallway and into the adjoining bed room, but he was too slow. He was promptly tackled by the monsters as his sword was dropped on his chest, slick with what he hoped was dog slobber. More questionable white liquid dribbled onto his face out of the dog. This wasn’t good. His only option now was to pet it; since it was sitting on top of him and he couldn’t move. More froth cascaded over his body. Nauseated, Link reminded himself to wash it off in that bath immediately afterwards. But it was working, so he pet again. Immediately, the Amalgamate-- no, the Endogeny was contented, and allowed him to escape.

!0*0!

After scrubbing all of the fluid out of his skin, Link returned to the room full of beds. He could have tackled the fog room, but this way would cause less backtracking. Plus, he had to grab one of those things that was ‘under sheets’. A quick check revealed it-- a yellow key. And there was a yellow receptacle in the TV room! He ran back to it and fitted it in the slot. Now that he was back here, he might as well return to the formerly fog room. So he did. It was full of fridges, one of which turned into a different amalgamate. It was similar to the Snowdrake back in Snowdin, a fact accentuated by the freezing temperatures, so Link told disgustingly bad snow puns until it completely calmed down and left. It dropped a blue key, which Link took before taking the green key and inserting it into the slow at the end of the freezer corridor. Now he really had to go back to the bed room…

The final hallway was littered with mirrors and suspiciously golden flowers. Like Flowey. Was Flowey an Amalgamate? Now that he thought about it, it kind of made sense if he didn’t think about it too much. He was interrupted by one final amalgamate, which seemed to be some kind of avian body with an Astigmatism for a head. Through a sequence of events that mystified both Link and the Reaper Bird and had the Hylian pray for both his own sanity and the bird’s, it let him go. He inserted the blue key, the final key, in the awaiting slot. That was everything, right? All that he had left was the door back at the beginning of the Lab. With a suspicious spring in his step, the Hero marched back and opened it up. He was led to an elevator, but none of the buttons worked. Seeing no other options, Link detoured down an empty maintenance tunnel to the left, stepping over aged, cold tiles into a dead end with a button on it. A label next to it revealed that it was… actually, Link had no idea. Something about ‘reboot’? Nevertheless, he pushed it. Something rumbled, somewhere behind him. It was probably the elevator.

He turned around, and was greeted by dozens of accursed amalgamations. Somehow, they’d cornered him here. Panicking, Link drew his blade and pointed it at the monsters, hoping that they would reconsider for their own sake. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to care. One of them latched onto his sword, causing a hideous creaking sound that grated at his eardrums. When it finally let go, he was holding nothing but a hilt, without a sign of the blade that had once accompanied it. The offending amalgamate immediately grew several sharp edges out of its skin, each a perfect replica of the blade he’d lost. They drew closer, hungrily. The Hero of Time curled his hands into fists, knowing that he was at a severe disadvantage in the coming storm. He was off-balance, cornered, and weaponless. He squeezed his eyes shut, silently praying that the onslaught of blows would at least kill him quickly. He hated it. He couldn’t die now-- not when he’d finally moved on-- but he had no choice but to perish. All he could do was scream in his mind. He reared back to throw a punch, and they fell on him.

!0*0!

“Hey! Stop!”

The amalgamates immediately crawled off of Link’s prone form, which was freshly covered in questionable white fluid. Interestingly, he hadn’t been so much as scratched by the undead monsters, but his pack had been freshly cleared of any food he may have possessed. He’d spent good money on that!

Alphys was there, for some reason. Where had she been this whole time? “I got you guys some food, okay?”

The monsters slunk off into the darkness, Link’s pack forgotten.

“Sorry about that,” the Lizalfos sighed. “They get kind of sassy when they don’t get fed on time. I think they smelled the food you had, and… anyway, the power went out, and I’ve been trying to turn it back on. But it looks like you were one step ahead of me. This was probably just a big inconvenience for you… b-but I appreciate that you came here to back me up! As I said, I was afraid I might, um, not come back… but that’s not because of these guys or anything! I was just worried I’d be too terrified… to tell the truth, or that I might run away, or do something, er… cowardly.”

Any long-standing malcontent towards Alphys that still festered in the core of Link’s being evaporated. She was like him, searching for that spark of something that let them keep going. For the ex-swordsman, it was Navi.

“Uh, I-I suppose I owe you an explanation,” Alphys confessed. “Asgore asked me to study the nature of Souls. During that research, I isolated a power I called ‘Determination’. I injected it into dying monsters so that their Souls would last after death. But… everything went so wrong so quickly. See, unlike humans, monsters don’t have enough, ah, physical matter to take those concentrations of determination. Their bodies started to melt, and they lost whatever physicality they once had. Pretty soon, all of the test subjects had melted together into… those. Seeing them like this, I knew I couldn’t tell their families about it. Or anyone. No matter how much anyone was asking me. And I was too afraid to do more work, knowing, well, everything I’d done so far had been such a horrific failure.

“But… but now, I’ve changed my mind about all this. I’m going to tell everyone what I’ve done. It’s, er, going to be hard. Being honest, believing in myself… I know there’ll be times where I struggle. I know there’ll be times where I screw up again. But knowing that I have friends to fall back on makes it a lot easier to stand on my own.”

Link nodded solemnly. He knew how it was.He hadn’t had anyone for a long time, and now… well, he had more than before. It was hard to go anywhere but up when he started from the literal bottom of the barrel.

The amalgamates were waiting patiently in the back of the room. “Come on, guys,” Alphys beckoned. “It’s time to take you all home.”

And then they were gone. Something clicked in the back of the Hylian’s mind. He’d done everything he could. He’d combed every last inch of the Underground. It was time for him to go home too.

Welp, next chapter is the last chapter. And no, I’m not going to pull a TOM on you and psych you out.

Review Please!

Chapter 19: Looking Up

Chapter Text

Alright, genuine question. I’ve got two ideas for a fic, and I plan on writing both if I’ve got the time. They’re both going to be crossover fics, but neither will be with Undertale. So, what I’m asking now is: Would you guys prefer a crossover between LOZ and a different subject or a crossover between that different subject and a different different subject? When this chapter goes up, I’m making a poll over on FFnet for you guys!

RRRP:

Spellflame (FF): Spoiler: He doesn’t.

Chapter 18

The Barrier shone with its strange light once again. Twilight filtered through it like leaves in the Kokiri Forest. The warmth of sunlight hit Link’s skin for the first time in days. He couldn’t see the sun through the barrier, however. The Hylian would have assumed it would be a stalwart wall, impregnable to anything monsterkind could throw at it, had he not already seen it last Reset.

“This is the Barrier,” Asgore narrated. “This is what keeps all of us trapped underground. If… by any chance, you have unfinished business here, this is your last chance to turn back. Please do what you must.”

“I already did,” Link ascertained.

“I see. This is it, then.”

The monster king let out a low breath, as if preparing himself for battle. Actually, that was exactly what he was doing. “Ready?” he asked.

Link nodded, before he was yanked into the Combat Plane. This was uncomfortably familiar to his first encounter with the boss monster, even down to his next lines. He was about to say, “Human… Goodbye.” Then he’d draw his scythe and skewer the Mercy Button.

“Human… Goodbye,” Asgore said morosely, before a single familiar fireball materialized to Asgore’s left. That was new. It then proceeded to swat the king away, out of range of Link.

And Toriel-- Toriel-- proceeded to show her face again. Had she been here the whole time? If so, why hadn’t she intervened last time?

“What a miserable creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth,” she stated venomously, referring to Asgore. “Do not be afraid, my child. It is I, Toriel, your friend and guardian.”

“Toriel? What are you doing here? Also, thanks,” Link asked.

“At first, I thought I would let you make your journey alone, but I… couldn’t stop worrying about you. Your adventure must have been so treacherous… and ultimately, it would burden you with a horrible choice. To leave this place, you’d have to take the life of another person. You would have to defeat Asgore.”

“Honestly, my biggest threat over the last few days has been myself,” Link replied sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck. “And knowing me, I’d make the wrong choice.”

“Exactly! I realized I cannot allow that.” Toriel said soothingly. “It is not right to sacrifice someone simply to let someone else leave here. Is that not what I have been trying to prevent this whole time?

“So, for now, let us suspend this entire battle. As terrible as Asgore is, he deserves mercy too.”

“Tori…” Asgore breathed from off in the distance. “You-- you came back! I--”

“Don’t you ‘Tori’ me, Dreemurr!” she spat. “You pathetic whelp. If you really wanted to free our kind, you could have gone through the Barrier after gaining one Soul. Then you could take six souls from the humans, then come back and freed everyone peacefully. But instead, you made everyone live in despair… because you would rather wait here, meekly hoping another human never comes.”

“He’s not that bad…” Link argued weakly. “He just… wasn’t thinking straight. He was trying to help his people, and if his good intentions don’t absolve him of his sins, then neither do mine. Besides, one human soul didn’t help Asriel, so why would it help Asgore?”

Toriel was about to reprimand him, but fell silent, a stricken expression on his face.

“I appreciate the sentiment, child,” Asgore rumbled, “but Tori is right. I am a miserable creature. What do you know of sins?”

“Check me.”

Asgore visibly recoiled, eyes betraying shock and horror. “What sorcery--”

“Yeah. A hundred and twenty LOVE. I know what I’m talking about,” Link yelled, truth oozing off of his words. He’d have to conjure his inner Sans to pull this off. “I allowed a great evil to take over an entire country for seven years, due to my own negligence. I have a kill count in the thousands, at least. Before a few days ago, I was a lost soul subsisting on nothing but my own self-loathing. And if I can still be a good person, so can you. So don’t give me any of that sh*t. Capiche? Capiche.”

The goat monsters traded a furtive glance, stunned at this outburst. “I… I know not what to say. Tori-- Toriel… can we still be friends?”

She looked like she wanted to give him a flat ‘no’, but the previous confession seemed to give her pause. “I do not know,” she eventually said, each word as carefully placed as a chess piece. “Maybe if, I… but--

The wall back to the Underground promptly exploded as an Undyne-shaped blur burst into the room. “Ngahhhhh! Asgore! Human!” she screamed. “Nobody fight each other! Everyone’s gonna make friends, or else I’ll--”

“Oh, hello,” Toriel greeted, seemingly desperate to change the subject. “I am Toriel. Are you one of Link’s friends?”

“Uh… yeah? Nice to meet you!” she said before darting over to the monster king. She then whispered something in his ear, which was drowned out by Alphys demanding that nobody fight each other. Again, Toriel greeted her warmly, and Alphys responded with equal warmth. She then locked eyes with Link, confusion permeating from her eyes. “There’s two of them?” she whispered. The Hylian in question merely nodded, and she joined Undyne.

“HEY! NOBODY FIGHT ANYONE!” Papyrus demanded at the top of his lungs. “IF ANYONE FIGHTS ANYONE, THEN I’LL BE FORCED TO ASK UNDYNE FOR HELP!”

“Oh, hello!”

“HELLO, YOUR MAJESTY! HUMAN, DID ASGORE SHAVE… AND… CLONE HIMSELF?”

“Nah, different people,” Sans explained casually. “Also, hey guys, what’s up?”

“That voice…” Toriel breathed, realization evident in her features. “Hello, I think we may… know each other?”

“If you’re the lady behind the door who tells the jokes, then yeah.”

“I am Toriel. It is so nice to meet you.”

“Name’s Sans. And, uh, same.”

“Oh, wait! Then this must be your brother, Papyrus! Greetings, Papyrus! Your brother has told me a lot about you!”

“WOWIE…” Papyrus sighed. “I CAN’T BELIEVE ASGORE’S CLONE KNOWS ABOUT ME! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”

Asgore just looked glum. Pathetically so. Had Link looked like that all this time? Granted, the monster king was constantly reminded of his plight by his ex-wife telling bad bone puns to an infuriated Papyrus. The Hero hadn’t had that.

“Hey, Asgore,” Undyne interrupted. “Come on, it’s going to be okay. There are plenty more fish in the sea.”

“Y-yeah, Asgore! Undyne’s totally right about the fish thing!” Alphys added. “S-sometimes you just gotta, uh… stop going after the furry boss monster and, uh… j-just find a really nice fish?” She paused, glancing at Undyne. “It’s a metaphor.”

“Well, I think it’s a good analogy,” the royal guardswoman confirmed.

“Oh my god!” Mettaton’s robotic voice emanated from outside Link’s field of view. He’d completely forgotten about the robot’s existence. “Will you two just smooch already? The audience is dying for some romantic tension!”

“Hey! Shut up!” Undyne attacked, a faint hint of a shadow of a blush on her scaly cheeks. “Man, the nerve of that guy! Right, Alphys?” She paused. “Uh, Alphys?”

“No,” the scientist whispered. “No! He’s right. Let’s do it!”

“Finally,” Link breathed.

“Well? Uh? Okay? I guess? If you want to? Then?” Undyne stammered, obviously taken aback but still very clearly into it. “Don’t hold anything back!”

They leaned into each other, and just before their lips met, something large, white, and furry clamped itself over Link’s face, smothering his eyes. “Hey! Toriel, I can’t see anything!”

“My child, this is hardly appropriate for someone of your age--”

“I’m perfectly mature, remember?”

“That’s no excuse!” But the former queen relented, unshielding the Hylian’s eyes. However, Alphys and Undyne had since finished their makeout session. At least she hadn’t interrupted them directly.

“Well, my child,” Toriel said. “It seems as if you must stay here for a while. But looking at all the great friends you have made… I think-- I think you’ll be happy here.”

There was a short pause, interrupted by Alphys.

“That reminds me… Papyrus, you invited everyone here, right? Well, besides, uh, her. Anyways, if I got here before you, how did you know how to call everyone?”

Papyrus of all people had gotten everyone here? That was surprising. Link hadn’t taken the skeleton to be the brightest bulb in the bunch by a long shot.

“LET’S JUST SAY… A TINY FLOWER HELPED ME!”

Link came to the same conclusion Alphys did. “A tiny… flower?”

And everyone proceeded to get strangled by a vine. Except Link of course.

Link always got to watch.

!0*0!

“You idiots,” the accursed Amalgamate flower spat. The vine behind it squeezed tighter around the monsters, causing evident pain. “While you were all having your little pow-wow… I took the human Souls! And now, not only are they under my power, but all of your friends’ Souls are going to be mine, too! Hee hee hee! And you know what the best part is?”

“All my fault, blah blah blah,” Link drawled. “Can we skip to the part where I kick your ass and you shut up?”

“Don’t you disrespect your god!” Flowey demanded, squeezing the monsters even tighter. “All that time you spent listening to them, encouraging them, caring about them… without that, they would never have come here. And now, with their souls and the humans’ together… I can achieve my real form!”

“You achieved your ‘real form’ already and I still murdered it,” Link recalled, cracking his knuckles. “You want to do the same song and dance again?”

“Don’t you get it? This is all just a game. If you leave the Underground satisfied, you’ll win the game. And if you win, you won’t want to play with me anymore. And what would I do then? But our little game will never end. I’ll dangle victory in front of you, just within your reach… and then tear it away just before you grasp it! Over and over and over and over again! Hee hee hee. Listen, if you do beat me, I’ll let you have your ‘happy ending’. I’ll bring your friends back. I’ll destroy the Barrier. Everyone will finally be satisfied.

“But that’ll never happen. I’ll keep you here no matter what!”

His blood orange, almost eye-strainingly bright soul was compacted into a box barely big enough for it, surrounded by friendliness pellets. “Even if it means killing you a billion times!”

Wave after wave of pellets slammed into his Soul, but it remained stalwart. His legs may have been locked in place, but the Hylian’s body would not waver, no matter how much pain it was in. After what felt like an eternity, he hit one singular health point, and the pellets closed in.

But somebody came.

A wall of flames materialized around his Soul, warding off the offending pellets. “Do not be afraid, my child,” Toriel managed to get out through her restraints. “No matter what happens, we will always be there to protect you.”

Twin walls of pellets formed on either side, and each was deflected by a bone and spear, respectively. “THAT’S RIGHT, HUMAN! YOU CAN WIN! JUST DO WHAT I WOULD DO… BELIEVE IN YOU!”

“Yeah! If you got past me, you can do anything!” Undyne chimed in. “So don’t worry! We’re with you all the way!”

“Wait, you haven’t beaten this guy yet?” Sans inquired, that permanent grin etched deeper than usual into his skull. “Come on. This whackjob’s got nothing on you.”

More walls of pellets were blocked by a surge of electricity and another firewall. “Technically, it’s impossible for you to beat him,” Alphys stuttered, very encouragingly. “B-but, somehow, I know you can do it!”

“Human…” Asgore boomed. “For the future of humans and monsters, you must stay determined!”

At this proclamation, the entire population of the Underground stormed into the already cramped room, screaming encouragement and the like at Link. Flowey’s look of grim amusem*nt faded, revealing what appeared to be genuine concern.

“Urgh… no!” it squealed. “Unbelievable! This can’t be happening! You… you…”

Everything was about to go horribly wrong. Link could feel it. And, like clouds foreshadow the storm, his prediction came true.

“I can’t believe you’re all so stupid.”

More vines sprouted out of the earth, holding everyone still, strangling them.

“All of your souls are mine!”

Except Link.

Link always got to watch.

!0*0!

When the light receded, all that was left was a little goat child wearing a striped shirt. It looked eerily familiar. Then the Hylian placed it.

“Goddesses dammit,” Link whispered.

The youth began to laugh, shoulders shaking. “Finally,” he said, in a high and lilting tone. “I was so tired of being a flower.”

He turned around, revealing that this was, in fact, Asriel Dreemurr, the statue in Waterfall with the umbrella. “Howdy! Chara, are you there? It’s me, your best friend.”

The child then spontaneously grew about five heads in height and began hovering a few feet off the ground. His garb had changed into effectively his mother’s, but with shoulder plates like those of Asgore. Below him appeared the words ‘Asriel Dreemurr’. At least he hadn’t grown a Sans head.

The Barrier behind Asriel began shining a multicolored light, as if someone was twisting kaleidoscopes behind Link’s eyes. He opted to check Dreemurr, to get a better scope of what he was facing. Apparently, this being possessed infinite attack and infinite defense. That was good.

And then it began raining stars.

As the stars collided with the Battle Box, they exploded into smaller stars for Link to dodge. It wasn’t too bad, and it certainly wasn’t enough to bother with Flawless Riposte just yet. “You know, I don’t care about destroying this world anymore. After I defeat you and gain total control over the timeline, I just want to reset everything.”

Twin blades materialized in Asriel’s arms. He alternated between slamming them down on different halves of the Battle Box. It wasn’t an issue to dodge until he hit with both, leaving small pellets in its wake that then darted at the Hero of Time. Somehow, they dealt fifty damage apiece! He just had to keep holding on…

“All your progress… everyone’s memories… I’ll bring them all back to zero!”

The Battle Box was struck by powerful lightning bolts several times. Link at least got a little indicator near the bottom that told him where they were going to strike, which gave him just barely enough time to dodge them all.

“Then we can do everything all over again.”

More stars slammed into the Battle Box, each dealing significant damage. That was fun.

“And you know what the best part is? You’ll do it.”

Yeah, he would. What of it?

His arm transformed into a cannon of sorts, that began firing a trio of bullets at him in rapid succession. The Hylian was forced to continuously dodge them, and he was doing great until he was blasted by a beam of pure rainbow energy.

“And then you’ll lose to me again… and again… and again… and again!”

Link wished that Amalgamate hadn’t eaten his sword. He could have used it to defend himself. Now he was stuck just dodging, which was more difficult than just parrying.

The battle segued into more electric blasts, which succeeded in hitting him a few more times than he would have liked. And he was out of healing items, thanks to those stupid amalgamates… Now he was down to half of his health.

“Because you want a ‘happy ending’. Because you ‘love your friends’. Because you ‘never give up’. Isn’t that delicious? Your courage, the power that let you get this far… It’s going to be your downfall!”

He didn’t care. He’d been stuck in time loops before, he could do it again.

His body operated on autopilot, evading each attack with hairs of space to spare. His reflexes had been honed by all of his time being a hero. Actually, what in the hells was a ‘Hyper Goner’?

“Enough messing around,” Asriel decided definitively. “It’s time to purge this timeline once and for all!” He shrugged, shaking his head dismissively at Link’s sweating form. He then disappeared, the Battle Box expanding to take up all space. A form materialized out of the gloom; a gargantuan skull vaguely reminiscent of Asriel’s face. It cackled at him before it began to suck away at the very fabric of the universe. Link could feel the very substance of his being wasting away, into the gaping maw of the beast. His vision became overwhelmed by white, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

Then it was gone. He opened his eyes again, and Asriel was back. “Even after that attack, you’re still standing in my way? Wow, you really are something special.”

Link glared venomously, only now realizing that he was down to exactly one health,

“But don’t get co*cky,” the prince warned. “Up until now, I’ve only been using a fraction of my real power. Let’s see what good your precious courage is against all of it!”

And his vision was consumed by white.

!0*0!

The first thing Link processed when he awoke was that he couldn’t move his body. At all.

Then he noticed Asriel.

The monster prince’s appearance had completely changed. To be quite frank, it was more reminiscent of architecture than physiology. It had arms but no real torso, and nothing of legs. Its form was dominated by a pair of batlike wings on its back. He cackled mirthfully upon revealing his true body. He spread his arms wide as tendrils of raw magical power spewed forth. They arced towards Link’s fragile Soul, too quick to reliably dodge. The Hylian activated Flawless Riposte, causing everything around him to slow to a relative crawl. From there, he could dodge the attack easier.

Asriel then threw his arms forwards, crackling with magical energy. The Battle Box compressed, slamming into each side of his vulnerable Soul, and a single tendril connected to him. It didn’t hurt, but he could feel it leeching off of his magic, feeding from it like a vampire. His Flawless Riposte fizzled out as green fire erupted from Asriel’s eyes. And Link still

couldn’t

move.

The magical attack slammed into his soul, and a massive crack appeared in its center. It split in two, just barely holding itself together any more than that. “No!” Link screamed, desperately trying to force his Soul back together.

He refused.

When he came to, he was back at full health, standing in front of this god of death. He still couldn’t move. But he was alive. And that was enough.

“I can feel it,” Asriel stated drolly. “Every time you die, your grip on this world slips away… your friends forget you a little more. Your life will end here, in a world where nobody remembers you.”

Link audibly laughed. He used to live in that world. Dying in it was what he had expected before coming to the Underground. And now that he’d tasted friendship, love, wholeness, he wouldn’t allow himself to go back to being forgotten.

The world was ending, and Link still couldn’t move.

“You’re still hanging on? That’s fine. In a few moments, you’ll forget everything, too. That attitude will serve you well in your next life.”

He refused to die.

“Still? Show me what good your determination is now!”

“Okay.”

He reached for his Save file. Nothing happened.

He reached again. Nothing again.

He couldn’t save himself. But maybe… he could save something else. Someone else.

“Hey Sans! Get your lazy pelvis out of Asriel’s Soul and help!”

He had to be in there somewhere, right? Aha! Deep within Asriel’s heart of hearts, something was resonating. Two somethings, actually.

Two Lost Souls appeared. Link already knew it was Papyrus and Sans, even if their faces were blotted out. He just had to free them of Alphys’s influence…

“Sans. I need you to judge me,” the Hylian asked. “A hundred and twenty. Come on.”

“Just give up. I did,” Sans said dismissively.

“I MUST CAPTURE A HUMAN!” Papyrus cried.

And then the Hyper Goner showed up.

Link yelped as the blaster fired a single straight beam of magical energy. It didn’t seem to possess the reality-destroying properties of the bigger one. Good. More appeared and fired, forcing Link to bob and weave between them. He punctuated this with bad bone puns until Sans promptly tossed him directly upwards as a wall of bones jutted out of the Battle Box. Then he was flung leftwards. Then right. Then left again. Then down. Link’s Soul reverted back to normal as long bones floated along either side of the box, forcing Link to move his Soul in a circle to avoid damage. He was then lobbed towards the right, where a massive bone maze waited for him. The Hylian zigzagged through it, desperately trying to avoid the poisonous properties of their attacks. The Battle Box reverted back to a square as a massive circle of blasters formed around the box and fired sequentially, forcing Link to sprint around in a circle for far too long. He couldn’t do that again, Link realized. He had to do something desperate.

The Hylian forced Sans to take the hilt of his sword. He still had the handle, even if the blade had been consumed by an Amalgamate. He then knelt, allowing Sans to kill him if he wished. This fortunately seemed to do the trick, as the Lost Soul remembered that he was supposed to be rooting for Link. Interestingly, this also brought Papyrus over to his side.

He figured he’d just tackle the rest of them in random order. So he went with Alphys. She was in her date dress for some undefined reason, moping about how everyone hated her. Her attacks were awfully similar to that of Mettaton, probably because it was her technology.

Now would be a good time to figure out anime, right?

Dodging the mini-Mettatons and T-explosions, Link fired question after question about techno-babble he couldn't understand until Alphys came back to herself. Next up was Undyne. She was somehow even more gung-ho about murdering him than she was before she met him, spouting lines like “All humans must die!” and “You’re our real enemy!” She sent a solid blue spear directly at him, and Link stood perfectly still, expecting it to pass harmlessly through him. The Hylian was surprised, however, when it snapped in two white pieces, spun around, and flung themselves at him fast enough to hit. They hurt. This process repeated itself several times until he stopped getting hit by it. He struggled backwards, forcing her to recognize his fighting spirit or whatever. That didn’t quite work, so he asked how she ever managed to cook something edible. Somehow, that was the catalyst for solving all the problems. Some humans were okay, indeed.

Last up were Toriel and Asgore. They, like Sans and Papyrus, were a duo. Link merely refused to fight either of them, even going so far as to allow them to hit him without moving his soul an inch. This really seemed to get the message across, and they came back to themselves. His fate was up to him now.

That was everyone. Everyone had been Saved. So why wasn’t he done with the fight yet? He checked the Act menu-- which had been rebranded without him noticing-- and noticed someone else. He couldn’t tell who. As his friends remembered him, something else began to resonate within Asriel’s heart of hearts. But who?

Asriel. Obviously.

“Asriel.”

“H-huh? What are you doing?”

“No clue, but I’m doing it and you can’t stop me.”

The god of death appeared dejected, sullenly glancing downwards.

“Wh-what did you do? What’s this feeling? What’s happening to me? What did you do, Chara?”

Who on the Goddesses’ green earth was Chara? Wait, important things now, questions later.

“No! No! I don’t need anyone!”

Hundreds of magic blasts spewed from his fingers, each slamming into Link’s soul with the force of the Terminian moon. Still, the ex-Kokiri stood, unbroken.

“Stop it! Get away from me! Do you hear me? I’ll tear you apart!”

“Do it, you won’t,” the swordsman challenged.

The attacks were lessening now, both in frequency and in strength. Asriel was losing. So Link continued to do nothing but Spare him.

“Chara…” he breathed. “Don’t you know why I’m doing this… why I keep fighting to keep you around?”

The Battle Box began to drip fire, but the flame particles actively avoided him, much like Toriel once had all the way back in the Ruins. By Farore, that was a long time ago.

“I’m doing this because you’re special, Chara… You’re the only one that understands me. You’re the only one who’s any fun to play with anymore… no, that’s not just it. I… I… I’m doing this because I care about you, Chara. I care about you more than anyone else! I’m not ready for this to end. I’m not ready for you to leave! I’m not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again...”

Chara was Asriel’s Navi. Everything made sense.

“So, please… stop doing this…” he screamed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, “And just let me win!”

He put his hands together, blazing with magical light, and pointed them at Link. A terrifying blast of rainbow magic assailed him, tearing away at the Battle Box until it was no more. Link’s health dropped to one point. Then half. Then a quarter. Then a tenth. Then to a decimal so low that he couldn’t actually see it. “Stop it!” He never did. “Stop it now!”

“Chara’s gone, Asriel.”

He either didn’t hear him or didn’t care. “Chara… I’m so alone, Chara… I’m so afraid, Chara…”

Link stepped forwards.

“Chara… I…”

The form of the god was gone, leaving a goat child in its wake. He was sniffling and wiping his eyes with a sleeve. “I’m so sorry. I always was a crybaby, wasn’t I, Chara?”

“I’m not Chara,” Link whispered in a tone that he hoped was comforting. He was still pretty new to this whole ‘emotion’ thing.

“I know… you’re not actually Chara. Chara’s been gone for a long time. Uh, what… what is your name?”

“Link.”

“Link… that’s… a good name. Link… I haven’t felt like this in a long time. As a flower, I was soulless. I lacked the power to love other people. But with everyone’s souls inside of me… not only do I have my own compassion back, but I can feel everyone else’s too. They all care about each other so, so much. And they care about you too. I wish I could tell you how much everyone cares about you. Monsters are weird; even though they barely know you, it feels like they all really love you.”

He took a long, shuddering breath. “Link, I… I understand if you can’t forgive me. I get it if you hate me. I was so strange and horrible. I hurt you. I hurt so many people. Friends, family, bystanders… there’s no excuse for what I’ve done.”

“You’re right,” Link said. “I can’t forgive any of that. But… that wasn’t you. That was the flower. There’s no reason to forgive Asriel because Asriel never hurt anyone.”

And he wrapped his arms around the prince. He could feel him embrace him back.

“You’re g-gonna make me cry again… Besides, even if you do forgive me, I can’t keep these souls inside of me. The least I can do is return them. But there’s something I have to do. Right now, I can feel everyone’s hearts… beating as one. All with the same desire. With everyone’s power… with everyone’s determination… it’s time for monsters to finally go free.”

He closed his eyes and outstretched his hands before rising a few feet into the air. The Souls he’d taken spiraled out of him, first the human souls, then an uncountable number of white monster souls. All of Monsterkind had the same power as one human soul… and that power was finally being used.

There was a loud crashing sound, as a crack appeared in the barrier behind him. And it fell away, revealing the light for the first time in ages. It was done. Asriel turned back to Link, a sad sort of smile on his face.

“Link… I have to go now. Without the power of everyone’s souls, I can’t keep maintaining this form. I’m-- I’m going to turn back into a flower. I’ll stop being ‘myself’. I’ll stop being able to feel love again. So… Link. It’s best if you just forget about me, okay? Just go be with the people who love you.”

Wordlessly, Link hugged you again. “We all need time to heal,” he soothed. “But people still care about you. So no. I can’t--”

He froze, eyes snapping open. We all need time to heal.

Time to heal.

Time to heal.

Healing.

The Song of Healing.

Oh Goddesses, the Ocarina of Time.

Asriel was saying something. Link didn’t care. “Asriel. Listen to me,” he interjected. “I need you to do something for me. I can… maybe stop you from becoming a flower. But you have to trust me. You need to go to the Ruins. To the very beginning. Where I first met flower you. Okay?”

“Uh…”

“Great.”

And Link walked away, towards consciousness.

!0*0!

He woke up more refreshed than he’d ever been, which was odd. His eyes snapped open as he sprung to his feet.

“Oh!” Toriel said. “You are awake! Thank goodness!”

“No time,” Link interrupted. “I have to grab something very important on the Surface, and then I’m coming back. Don’t go anywhere!”

He immediately sprinted outside of what was once the Barrier, as the afternoon light washed over him. It was warm. It felt… good. He didn’t remember it feeling so nice the first time he’d been out here. But he couldn’t focus on that. He had to grab the Ocarina of Time.

The Hylian knew the path. He knew exactly where to go to find his old camp as fast as he could go. He doggedly sprinted for at least twelve hours, but it was leagues better than the many long weeks he’d first spent trying to find it.

He came across it, and to his joy, everything was there. He hastily snatched his pouch and pawed through it, sighing in relief when he saw the familiar blue. He then wasted no time in lobbing himself down the same cave he’d been forced into by the Wolfos, all that time ago.

True to his word, Asriel was there. He appeared to be about halfway through the metamorphosis back to his flower form “Link? What are you--”

“Okay, everything is great,” he assured. “Now listen.”

And he played the Song of Healing. The monster prince screamed. A flash ensued. When it receded, Asriel was standing there, holding a flowery mask in his hands.

“Huh? Wha-- I’m still me?”

“Song of Healing. Puts souls to rest. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if that would work for you, but… hey. It did. So…”

“I…”

“Don’t say anything. You’re coming with me.”

The Hero of Time proceeded to grab Asriel by the ear and drag him out of the Ruins.

“Hey! Ow! That hurts! What are you--”

“We’re going to see your mother! And you’re not changing my mind.”

“No, I can’t do that! I--”

“Too bad, you’re doing it anyway!”

“Okay, I’ll go! Can you at least not keep pulling me?”

“Fair enough,” Link relented.

And so they went, travelling through the Underground, back to the Barrier. Everyone was still waiting there.

“HUMAN!” Papyrus crowed as soon as the Hylian came into sight. “OH, IT IS EXCELLENT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”

“Papyrus was crying like a baby,” Sans commented.

“I DID NOT! I MERELY HAD SOMETHING IN MY EYE?”

“Oh yeah? And what was that?”

“TEARS!”

“Uh, am I seeing double or are there two of them now?” Undyne said.

“Yes and no,” Link stated, gently prodding Asriel into clear view.

“H-hi…” the goat child stammered

Toriel and Asgore froze. “M-my child?”

Link nodded.

The two goats immediately collapsed on their son and wrapped him in a crushing hug. A quick cool glance at Asgore from Toriel cemented that no, they were not getting back together. But for now, they were just happy to have their son back.

“Okay, so we have no idea what happened,” Undyne explained. “But the Barrier is gone. So take care of any unfinished business you’ve got before we all walk out.”

“I’ve got everything I need,” Link said. “Let’s go.”

And so they did.

!0*0!

The sunset was even more beautiful when there were other people to watch it with, Link realized.

“Oh my,” Toriel sighed. “I never thought we’d see this again.”

“Isn’t it beautiful, everyone?” Asgore inquired.

“It’s even better than on TV!” Alphys noted. “Way better! Better than I ever imagined!”

“You live with this, punk?” Undyne asked incredulously. “This sun is so nice… and the air is so fresh! I really feel alive!”

“HEY SANS… WHAT’S THE GIANT BALL OF FLAMES?”

“We call that ‘the sun’, Pap.”

“THAT’S THE SUN? WOWIE! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M FINALLY MEETING THE SUN!”

“I could stand here and watch this for hours…” Asriel sighed.

“It is beautiful, isn’t it?” Toriel agreed. “But we should really think about what comes next.

“Ah, of course,” Asgore stated. “Everyone: this is the beginning of a bright new future. An era of peace between humans and monsters.”

“That might be… slightly problematic,” Link suddenly realized. “There’s already monsters up here. Very bloodthirsty murder monsters. It’s where I got all my LV.”

“I… see. Link, I have something to ask of you. Would you be our ambassador to the humans?”

“Uh…” the swordsman groaned. “I don’t have very good people skills… at all… I can put you in contact with my country’s royalty, though.”

“OOH OOH! I CAN BE THE MONSTER AMBASSADOR!” Papyrus exclaimed. “I’LL GO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION!”

Before Link could object, Papyrus was gone. “This could be bad…”

“Welp,” Sans sighed. “Someone’s gotta keep him from getting himself hurt. See you guys.”

With that, Sans trotted in the opposite direction.

“Ugh, do I have to do everything?” Undyne sighed. “Papyrus, wait!”

She then followed the Stalfos, Alphys dogging at her heels.

“Whoops,” Asgore said, doing nothing. He turned to Toriel. “Uh, should I do something?”

Toriel gave him a shifty glare.

“Well, got to go!”

And so he left.

“It seems that everyone is quite eager to set off,” Toriel noted.

“Yeah,” her son assented.

“Link… you came from this world, right? So you must have a place to return to, do you not?”

Link self-consciously rubbed the nape of his neck. “Well… no… but… I have somewhere I need to go. Someone to apologize to.”

“What’s her name?”

The swordsman started to say something, but caught himself just in time. “None of your business, Asriel!”

The goat monster in question stifled a laugh. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it. Thanks, Link. For… this.

“Yes,” Toriel agreed. “Thank you, child. If you ever have need for any of us… well, you have your phone.”

“I won’t forget, Toriel. I never will.”

Speak of the devil. His phone immediately buzzed. It was Sans. “Hey kid. I’m going to be checking in on you every now and again. It might be Alphys too sometimes. Make sure you’re doing just fine with your… recovery. So you do what I say from now on, capiche? Capiche. And right now, Doctor Sans is ordering you to get yourself some rest. You need it. And don’t forget about Alphys’s pills, ‘kay?”

“Yes, Sans. Thanks,” Link sighed. “Actually, I might need some more. I may have… tossed them into a vat of lava.”

The big-boned skeleton sighed. “Alright, kid. I’ll talk to Alphys. And don’t throw them away again! They help with depression. I’ll talk to you again in a week or two. See ya around, kid.”

Link knew he wasn’t done with his recovery; how could he be? But at least now, he had some shoulders to lean on, and he was on that path. He’d grown so used to misery that he was comfortable in it… but actual contentment took effort. It was only now that he was willing to put that work into becoming happy. He hung up, then turned to Toriel. “I’ve got to go. Thank you… for everything.

He played Epona’s Song, and his faithful steed eagerly trotted up to him, nickering softly. He took a moment to marvel at how quickly she’d appeared for him. “How’re you doing, girl?” he greeted, before swinging onto her back and galloping back towards Hyrule.

He had seven Sages and a Malon to apologize to, after all.

And there it is. The last chapter. I’d really like this work to hit 100 total reviews… we’re currently at 85. Let’s do it!

Review Please!

Chapter 20: New Thing!

Chapter Text

SPOILER: There is no new Hopeless LOVE content. Rather, I just wanted to give an update to my AO3 viewers that the next fic is out! It’s called “A Hylian’s Guide to Sourcery” and the first three chapters are out now!

Sorry if you were expecting or hoping for a new HL chapter. That’s not coming. Regardless, go give that a read if you want to look at more of me for some god forsaken reason. It will update monthly until I finish it, which is when I’ll update weekly.

Happy reading!